第二章:我有老婆

“haoge,nilaile。”neigejiguantouganjinfangxiashouzhongdeyouqitong,diantouhayaodeyingleshangqu。

“womenshihefabanshi,biezonggaodeshitufeiyiyangde。zheiweidajie,womenyeshihunkoufanchi,nizheiwomenyelailejihuile,zheizhengfurangchaide,womenyejiushigepaotuide,nikannijiubieweinanwomenlehaobu?jizheishihetong,niqianleyejiumeishile。”

zhangchaojiazheilinjiepuzihaishitayeyeliujitamende,suirandichuchengzhongcundanweizhihaishibucuode,fangzisuiranpojiudian,yixianzaideshichangxingqing,maigeyiliangbaiwanhaishikeyide,danzheijiakaifashangquezhijilewushiwandechaiqianfei,zheibushimingqiangma。

“zaishuole,wotingshuonideduziqianxietiangangsile?aiyaoyao,nishuoshuo,baifarensongheifarenkebeia,renxianzaidousilenihaiyaozheipofangziganmaa,shibunashangqianquwaimiansansanxinduohaode。”

“shia,chaoerdouyijingsile,wohuozhehaiyoushenmeyiyi。suanle,qianlebaqianyichaoerdemingyijuanle,woyejiugaizhaochaoertuanjule。”zhangchaomuqinwannianjuhui。

“dajie,zheijiuduilema,hetongzaizheiniqianlezi,womenlimadaqianjini。”

“bunengqian!nimenzheishimingqiangma!”yigeshenchuanbingfudeqingnianyilujipaodelaidaozhangchaojiadefanguanmenqian。

laidezhengshifuhuodezhangchao,shenwufenwenzuochedoumeiqian,zhihaoyiluxiaopaodewanghuipao,caidaomenkoujiukandaoshangcilaideneixiehunhunyoulainaoshi。ganmangshangqianzuzhimuqinqianzi。

“nixiaozishihuonile,ganhuaihaogedehaoshi。”shuozheneigejiguantoulunqiquantoujiuxiangzhangchaodalai,zhangchaobennengdehoutuileyibu,taishoudangleyixia。kejiuzheiyixia,jiujianjiguantoudeshentishunjianfeileqilai,danbushixiangqianfei,ganghaoxiangfan,tadeshentishixianghouhuachuyitiaobiaozhundepaowuxian,feichuhaojimi,zhongzhongdezazaiqiangbianlajiduili。

shengxiadejigexiaodixianshiyileng,huiguoshenlaiweizhuzhangchao,yaoduizhangchaoxiasishou。zhangchaoganmangbaikaijiashi,naohaizhongxunsufanyuewuxuedianji,cuidonglingliyingzhan。hunhunmenyihongershang,jiutingzhenzhencanjiao,shugewuticongtianshuaixia,sanshimiaodegongfu,zhanzhedejiuzhishengzhangchaoyirenle。

zhangchaozijiyebeijingchadao,daidaidekanlekanzijideshuangshou:“wokao,zheiyetainiubileba!woyoujueshiwugonglema?”

haogeyikanjiashibudui,baoqihetongjiuxiangliuzou。zhangchaoshangqianyibazhuaizhuhouling,jiutinghaogehandao:“gankuaibaojing,baojing!zheishiyaosharenla!”

zhangchaomuqinyitingyaobaojing,shangqianshuodao:“xiaohuozi,nigankuaizouba,tamenyaobaojingle,xiexienile,shengxiadewolaiyingfuba。”

“ma,meishide,zheidianxiaoshibupayouwoni。youwozaisheidoubiexiangqifunin!”

zhangchaokandaomuqinmeishi,xinligaoxingjingranwanglecishidetaqishishilingyifumiankong。

“nijiaowoshenme?”zhangchaodemuqintingdaoxiaohuozijiaozijimama,xianshiyiliandemimang,kezheijiaoshengdeyudiaoqueyouzheimedeshuxi。

kandaomuqinyiliandejingchayang,zhangchaozheicaifanyingguolai,keyoubunengzhijiegaosumuqintajiushizhangchao,bijingzheishuojisheitingsheidoubukenengxinamangjieshidao:“ayi,woshizhangchaodehaopengyou,wozhidaozhangchaodeshile,ninfangxin,yihouninjiushiwodemama,wojiushinindeqinerzi。”

“haogeshiba,yihouzaizheijiadianqian,wozaibuxiangkandaoni,buzhidaonidongwodeyisibu?”

“daxia,wodong,wodong,woyihoukendingjuebuzaichuxian,ninfangxinwozheijiugunchuqu。”

shuozhehaogehaizhendeyigegunyigegundewangwaifanleqilai,zhouweikanrenaoderendouxiaoleqilai。zheijianfengshiduodegongfuyemeisheile。haogegunchuyiduanjulihouhaoxiangyouxiangdaoshenme,huishendao:“daxiakefouliugexingming,wohaohuiquyeyougejiaodaia”

“wojiaozhang……lijiaxing。”zhangchaochadianhanchuzijidebenming,ganmanggaikoudao。

zheishiyilianghongsebaomacheturantingzailemenkou,congcheshangxialaiyiweizhangtuimeinv,yixibaisezhangqunshencaigaotiao,pifubaijing,yitouwuheijinglidezhangfasuifengpiaodang。

meinvzoushangqian,sisididingzhezhangchao,yiliannuqideyangzi。

“nihaizhennengpaoa,paoazenmebupaole?”cishimeinvzhaixiataiyangyanjingehenhendedingzhezhangchao。zhangchaozheicaikanqingchu,yuanlaizhengshizijizaiyiyuanmenkouzhuangdaodenaweimeinva。

“yun,bujiuzhuangniyixiama,yebuzhiyuzhuidaozheililaiba。”zhangchaosuiranxinlizheimexiang,kebijingzijizhuangdaorenjia,ganmangzaicipeibushidao:“ao,yuanlaishinia,gangcaizoudetaiji,buxiaoxinzhuangdaoleni,buhaoyisia,shiwobuduiniyaoshinabushufu?wofuze。”

baiyimeinvyihuodeyanshenzixidaliangleyihuizhangchao,zuihouquedingdekouqihuidao:“keyia,lijiaxing,chehuobanizhuangshalema?woshinilaoponidouburenshilema?”

wolaopo,wodoujiehunlea,haiyouzheimepiaoliangyiweilaopo!!!

zhangchaoxianshizixikanlekanmeinv“piaoliang”,youkanlekanmeinvshenhoudebaoma。“keyia,meixiangdaozheigejiaolijiaxingdejiahuokanyangzishenfenhaibuyibana,youmeinvyouhaoche,zheishifuerdaidebiaopeia!”

“laopo……zheibugenninaozhewannima,kanqifenduogangade。”zhangchaodaqudeshuodao,kanlekanzhouweikanrenaoderenmenyigegejingyadebiaoqing,zhangchaofaneryouxiebuhaoyisi,bijingzhangchaozhangzheimedahaishitouyicijiaolaopozheigechenghu。

zhangchaoxiangzhejiranzheigelijiaxingshigefuerdaineikendingshibuchaqiandezhu,huitoukanlekangangcaibeidalandezhuoyi,zhuanshenxipixiaoliandeduimeinvshuodao:“neige……laopo……wogangcaibuxiaoxinbarenjiadongxidoudalanle,yinxingkajiwowoqudianqianpeijirenjiabei,wozheigangxing,shenwufenwena!”

“quqian,qunadeqian?ninalaideqian!nikalihaiyouqian?nihuodeershinianli,chideyongdehuadedoushiwomenjiade,nishenmeshihouzijizhengguoqian?”

shunjianzhouweidekongqifangfoningguleyiban,zhangchaoshenzhitingdaolezijidexintiaosheng。kanrenaoderenmenyanshenyecongjingyaxunsubianchenglebishi。“wokao,xiaobailiana!chiruanfandea!”

“haizi,nidexinyiwolingle,niyeshibangwocaidapozheixiedongxide,meishenmedewozijinengchuli。”

“ayi,zhangchaoshiwoxiongdi,jiusuanzhangchaomeisi,zheiyeshiwoyinggaizuode,dapodongxiyimaguiyima,wohaishiyaopeide。zheiyangba,ninjiwojitianshijian,wojinizhibanyitaoxindehainin。”

zhangchaobenxiangzhexiangmeinvxianjiedianqian,keyouyixiangzheilijiaxingdoushichiruanfanle,zaizhangkoujieqianqibugengdiefen,haishizijixiangbanfaba。

bangmuqinshoushilexiadianmian,zijixianzaibunengyongzhangchaodeshenfenzaizhuzaizijijialile,zhinenggenshangmeinvzoule。

“zheiqian,nizijijirenjiahaia。”meinvlenglengdeduizhangchaoshuodao。zijijiushigewonangfei,haiyixinglejiujiangyiqidepaolaitibierenchutou。

“fangxin,woxiangbanfazijihai。”zhangchaoyeshiyumen,suiranxianzaihaibuzhidaozheigelijiaxingdaodiyouduofeichai,jiumeinvdebiaoxiankanlaigujiyeshigeqipa,keyoushuohuilai,haodaiyeshizijidezhangfuzhongrenmianqianrucibuliuqingmiandeshuluo,kanlaizheifuqiliangrendeguanxiqueshibuzenmeyanga。

“xiaohuozi,zhendebuyongle,woganxienihailaibujini,nanengzairangnichuqianni。”

“ayi,zhangchaobuzaile,congjinwanghouwojiushininerzininjiushiwodemuqin。”

muqinmingmingjiuzaimianqian,quebunengxiangren,zhangchaoshuozheyanjiaodouyouxieshirun。

“ayi……bu……muqin,ninxianxiezhebawoyihouyoukongjiulaikannin。”zhangchaojihuyaokongzhibuzhuzijideyanleile,ganmangjiuwangwaizoudaomenkouyoutinglexialai。

“zhangchaotaquanxiayouzhiyexiwanghuishizheiyangde,xianzaininhaiyouyigeerzileninyaohaohaohuozhe,kebunengyourenheqingshengdeniantoua。”

shuowankuaibuzouchulefanguan,meinvkanleyiyanzhangchaomuqinyuyanyouzhi,genzhezhangchaochuqule,zhangchaomuqinkanzheneigebeiyingturanganjueshineimedeshuxi。

shangleche,baiyimeinvkanlekanzhangchaoshuo:“nilaidanghaorenkeyi,danzhishaojiwoshuoyishengba,nibawozhuangdaoletouyebuhuidejiupao,woyouneimeherenma?weilezhaoniwokuaibaxijingshidouzhuanleyiquanle,yaobushinichuanyishenbingfumandajiedepao,jieshangderenhaidouyiweinishigefengzi,nongdewohaoxiangdouchengjingshenbingyuanchulaizhuanideyiyang。”meinvsuiranshengqidanyuqihuanhelebushao。

“duibuqi,rangnifeishenle,buhuiyouxiacile。”zhangchaofaneryuqilengleqilai。

meinvdingzhezhangchaohenhendekanlekan,jianzhangchaohaowubiaoqingdedaizuozhe,yukouweizhangxiangshuoshenme,youyingshengshengyanlexiaqu,fadongqichehenhenyijiaoyoumenkailechuqu。

lushang,zhangchaotoutoukanlekanmeinvjingzhidelianxia:“zhendeshimeiruotianxiana,zheilijiaxingxiangmaokanzheyejiuneiyanga,yangeshuohaimeiwobenzunshuai,zenmejiuquzheimepiaoliangdelaopoa。budui,woshibushiyoudiantaineigele,qiangzhanlerenjiadeshenti,haiqianglerenjiadexifu,zheiyanghaoma?”

zhengsimoshi,meinvlaidianhuale,tingxiachemeinvjieqidianhuahuilejiju,zhuanshencongbaobaolinachuyizhangbaiyuandachaodijizhangchaodao:“nizijixiandachehuijiaba,wodanweituranyoushi,woyaoxianqutangdanwei。”

“woyun,wozhidaowozhunaa,nijiwozaiduoqianwoyehuibuqua。”zhangchaosimozhe。

“wohaishigenniyikuaiqunidanweiba,woyigerenhuiquyemeishenmeshizuo,xingxuhainengbangbangnidemang。”

meinvbuyoudelengxiaoyixia,“nisuibian,xiangqujiuqu,biedajiaowojiuxing。”

buyihuichezilaidaoyijiasirenzhensuomenqian,menpaixiezhekanghuayiyuan。

“wangzhuren,nikehuilailezheiloushangyijingchaodebukekaijiaole。”yijinmenjiubeiyigetixingweipangdenandafujishengshuodao。

meinvgankuaihuanshanggongzuofu,jibuganwangsichuangbingfang。

王晓月

zhangchaozhongyuzhidaozijidelaopojiaoshenmele,meinvbaidaguashangdegongzuopaixiedao“zhurenyishiwangxiaoyue”,mei,renmei,mingyemei,“xiaoyueduo,suyunwei,wuyuzhenpingyi。menghuifangcaosiyiyi,tianyuanyanshengxi”。

zhangchaogenzhelaidaozhenshijiujianbudadebingfangyijingweilegeliwaisanceng,limianbushichuanchuzhenzhensixinliefeidezhengchaosheng。

zhangchaogenzhewangxiaoyuejiannandejilejinquzheicaizhidaoyuanlaiyiyuanchuleyiliaoshigu,yiweidafuzaiqiangjiuyiweiertonghuanzheshimeinengqiangjiuguolai,huanzhejiashuyingshibazerentuijilesongyisheng,cishishuangfangzhengsichaozhe。

zhangchaozixinguanchazhewuneideqingxing。

“nizheigeyongyi,nipeiwoerzi。”

“zheibunengyuanwo,nierzisonglaijiumeiqixile,huatuozaishitayemeinenglia!”

“wobuguan,woerzishizainimenside,niyaofuzezouzhaonimenlingdaoqu。”haizidefuqinzhuaizheyishengdegebosimingdelazhuaizhe。

menkouderenqunxunsuduobizherangkailelu,huanzhejiashulianladaizhuaidebayishengladaolesilouyangtai。“zheilikuanchang,rangdahuojiwomenzuogejianzheng。”

siloudeyangtaibenlaijiubuda,yixiayongjinlaizheimeduorenyixiaganjuexiaxiaolebushao。

“songdafu,nizaibaqingkuanghaohaojihuanzhejieshiyixiaba。”wangxiaoyuezhufudao。

cishineigesongdafuquebuyiweirandeshuodao:“womeizeren,tamenzheijiushihujiaomanchan,yiqunwulai!”shuozheshuangshoubaoxiongyifuaizazadiyangzi。

“woerzidourangniyisile,nihaimeizeren。jintianyaobujigeshuofa,wo……wogennipinle!”shuozhehaizidefuqinshangqianyibazhuazhusongyishengdeyilingjiushiyigeerguanghenhendeshanleguoqu。