第4章 瞎编胡扯大忽悠

造孽啊!

qianrenzhongdeyin,pianpianyaotazheigewugurenlaichengdanguo。

genjuyuanzhucanliudejiyi,xuewanqingqingcheshuludejiuxunmodaolecunlitouweiyideshazhuhutanziqian,fangxialesanshiwentongban。

tacuishengxiaozhedao:“sishuige,mafannijiwoqieyijinfeirouheyijinshourou,woyaofenkaide,mafannile。”

baitandeqingnianrenkanqilaiershichutou,pifushaideyouheifaliang,tigejieshigaoda,moyangshengdejishihanhou。

tajianlaimairoudeshixuewanqing,xinlichenlexia,yinglesheng“hao”,menzhetouliluodekaishiqierou。

zhuroutanshanghaifangzhejikuaiyourouzhadedagutou,xuewanqingyouxiedongxin,kaikouwendao:“sishuige,zheidagutouzenmemaide?”

liusishuitouyebutai,“nixiangyao?”

xuewanqingxiaozheminchun,“wokanzheidagutoubucuo,xiangnahuijiajilianghaiziaodiangutoutang。”

zheihuidachadianbaliusishuijingdeshoulidaodoukanpian,tahuyidekanxiangxuewanqing,danduifangqinglidelianshangdaizhexiao,shenqingbusizuojia。

kehenkuailiusishuijiuhuiguolaileshen,lengzheshengdao:“wuwenqianninazouba。”

zheigutoubenlaiyeshitazhunbeinaquweigoude,buzhijigeqian。

ketajiushikanbuguanxuewanqingzheifumoyang,zheiroubaifenbaikendingyoushijiniangjiarengede,ranhoujigujiaxiongmeizhiweidiangutoutang,nayouzheimezuohouniangde?

xuewanqingziranshimingbaiduifangxinlitoudexiangfa,tayebujieshi,tongkuaidefulewuwenqianhou,badagutouyibingjitishangle。

rujinshoulitourouyoule,caidehuaziranyehaoban,zhishizheimi……

xuewanqingyouzhefanlehuilai,“sishuigewowenyiju,zheifujinnayoumaimide?”

“mi?”liusishuizhijuedezheinvrenshifengleba?xianzaijiajiahuhusheichideqidamia?tiebuniangjiaroujiusuanle,haixiangtiebumi?

tayouxiechenbuzhuqi,hanzheshengdao:“xuemeizi,youxiehuawoshibugaishuode,kenizheiyoushirouyoushimidewangniniangjiasong,jiujinipojianeilianghaizihediangutoutang,nijiubupagushuhegushenyelilaizhaonima?”

“renxindoushirouzuode,neilianghaizizenmeyangdoujiaonishengniang,nizanengzheimehenxinni?”

zheiyilianfandezhikongrangxuewanqingshaleyan,tashashihoushuozheiroushinahuilaoxuejiadele?

ketayixiangdaoxiaoshuoliyuanzhudesuozuosuowei,queyezhinengwulidedanqizheiheiguo。

xuewanqingnaizhexingjieshidao:“sishuige,zheiroushiwodasuannahuiqujilianghaizichide,maimiyeshiyinweitaliangshenzigucha。”

“bushijininiangjiade?”

xuewanqingyaotou,“dangranbushi。”

kaiwanxiao,tayoubushiyuanzhuneiquexinyande,zenmekenenghaijineichirendeniangjiatiebu?

buguozheimeyitixing,daoshirangxuewanqingxiangqilai,zheixienianlaoxuejiasihuhaizhennaletabushaohaodongxini。

jianliusishuimuguanghuaiyi,xuewanqingzhinengyadilesheng,guzuoxuanxudedao:“sishuige,nishibuzhidao,zuowanwomengzhelewogongpo,tamenyijingzuolezheichudetudigong,duiwohaoyifanxunchijinggao,yaowoduijianshuhejianzhixiongmeierrenhaoxie。”

tayouzhilezhitoushangbeizachulaidekouzi,“wogongpohaishuoruoshiwobuxin,jingejiudejianhong,niqiaoqiaowozheitoushang,wozheiyeshibeidianxinghuiwule。”

xuewanqingzheifushenshentaotaodebiaoyanrangliusishuilengzhule,nandaozhenyouzheimexiehu?

“sishuige,nikebiebuxin。”xuewanqingyouyitanlekouqi,jixudao:“zhiqianwobeirenkuangpiannaoziyire,xiangbatamenxiongmeiliangsongdaodahurenjiaquzuoshutongyahuan,sheizhidaorenjianeigenbenjiushipianwode!”

“woweizhetamenliangxiongmeinadaozhuizherenqukan,lianmingdounengshechuqubuyao。”

“zheiyaobushizhenxianghuigai,sheihuizuozheizhongshia?”

tahulvediaoqizhongdianxijie,bahuashuodepiaoliangyoudeti,“suansuannianjiwoyebuguozhibitamennianzhanggeshisui,yebuguoshizuojiejiedenianjiquedangleniang,xinliziranyouyuanqi,kegongpodoutuomengjinggaole,wozishibunenghecongqianneibanxingzile。”

xuewanqingdeyuqiwenheyoudailedianaiyuan,kegengduotingqilaideshizhongshihuai。

jingeshangwudeshidoubuyongbanshang,kendingjiuchuanchuqule。

yuqibeirenchuandemianmuquanfei,haiburuxuewanqingxianfazhiren。

bijingzheishierkebandiandoubuguangcai,tayaobubiandehelidian,yihoupashidouhuibeirenchuozhejiliangguguorizi。

xuewanqinghaixianghuodaodajiejuni,zhengqiaozheijieshiyounengbatadexinggebianhuajiyuanguoqu。

gurenshizuixiangxinguishenzhishuode,genghekuanggujiaerlaoshengqianchuchuyurenjieshan,tazheihuachuanchuquhaishinengyoudiankexindude。

zheiliusishuibenlainaozijiubijiaozhi,zaijiashanghanhoulaoshi,beihuyoujijuhaizhenjiuxinle。

tazhuantoujiucongmuhelimochulaiyouninidewuwenqiansaileguoqu,“zheiwuwenqianninahuiquba,dagutouquandangshiwosongjilianghaizibubushenzile。”

xuewanqingmeixiangdaohainengbaijianlejikuaidatuiguaotang,xidemeiyanwanwan。

“nifangcaishuoshiyaomaimiduiba?”liusishuicalexiashoushangdeyouzhi,“cunlitoukemeijihuchideqimide,niyaoburanjiugenwohuiqutang,woxifuqianjitiancaicongzhenshanghuilai,maileliangdaimizaijia。”

“hao,duoxiesishuige。”

xianxiamiroudewentidoujiejuele,xuewanqingcaisuanshuxinbushao。

zhuyaoshitayeshizaichibuxianeixieculiang,maidianbaimihuiquxianjiangjiujitian。

dengliusishuishoushilexiazhuroutan,liangrenjiuqianhoujiaowangliujiafangxiangqule。

yilushangyudaobushaoren,doushijingyazhiji。

wanquanxiangbudaoyixiangxingzihanhoulaohaorendeliusishui,zenmehuihecunlitouyoumingdedufulaiwang?

liusishuicalexiarehan,“nixianzaimenkoudengzhe,wojinquhewojiaponiangshuosheng。”

xuewanqingdianlediantou,youwangwuyanxiazhanlezhan。

zheiritoudequeshishairen,erqiemeiyougeyinliangdi。

keliusishuijinqumeiyihuierdegongfu,yuanlitoujiuchuanlailenvzijianshengchimadeshengyin,yijiliusishuijiliyadidequanshuosheng。

xuewanqingyouxiezhixidefue,yuanzhuzheirenyuandaodishichadaoleshenmedibua。

“xianggenlaoniangmaimi?tazuomengquba!sheijiakenmaijitadongxineidoushiqueledele!”furenmamalieliedezaiyuanlichaozhe,erqiejiaobushengyuelaiyuejin。

xuewanqingandaobumiao,wanghoutuileliangbu。

zhijianyishencaijianshuofengmandeheilianfurencongyuanzhongzouchu,manyanbushandedingzheta,shenhouhaigenzheliansezhanghongdeliusishui。

xuewanqingxiaoshenghuandao:“liusaozi。”