第一章倒霉的陈锋

(,xinshuqiushouzang,qiutouzi,qiuzhuidu)

shuilanxing,yigehediqiuxiangsidubaifenzhijiushidexingqiu。

yacunwuzudexiaolushang,chenfengyibianzou,yibiandaliangzhezhouweidehuanjing,tongshihuiyizhe。

zhouweideyiqie,hetalikaishi,meiyoushenmetaidadequbie。

buguohaishiyousuobutong,liangbianbuguanshikongdi,haishifangwu,douhuanglianglexuduo。

youxiefangzizhouweiyecaocongsheng,fangwuyepobaibukan。

luguoyixierenjiaqian,zuozaibazili,shaizhedongtiandetaiyang,juzaiyiqiliaozhetiandecunmin,douyongzhedaliangdeyanshenkanzheta。

“zheixiaonianqingshiganmade?zouqinqi,guolaiwan?haishixiaotoulaicaidian?”

有首诗怎么来着呢?

shaoxiaolijialaodahui,xiangyinwugaibinmaoshuai,ertongxiangjianbuxiangshi,xiaowenkeconghechulai。

chenfengkanzhedaliangzhezijidecunmin,buyoudexiangqilezheiyishougushi。

放你妹的屁。

shaoxiaolijialaodahui,zheijumeimaobing。

xiangyinwugai,yemeimaobing。

binmaoshuaini?niyigeershiduobudaosanshidenianqingxiaohuo,bingepidemaoshuai。

haiyouertongni?yiluzoulai,nikanjianertongle?jiumeiyoukanjianyigediyusishisuide!!

还笑问客从何处来?

yaobushikannixiaozizhangdehaisuanzhouzheng,yebushineizhongzeimeishuyanderen。

burandouyiweinishixiaotou,huozheshizhunbeicongcunzijinshandetouliezheni。

~~~~

chenfeng,congxiaozaizheigeweiyuxinanshuangxishibianchuidexiaocunzichusheng,jialijiutayigedushengzi。

dajiatingderendaoshitingduode,yenai,yigedabo,lianggeshu,tabapaixinglaoer。

duchuzhongshi,yenaidouxiangjiqushi,daolegaoerkaixuemeiduojiu,youyudaorenshengzhongzuidadetongku。

fumuzaiyichangzainanzhongshuangshuangqushi。(faliwubian)

zaitongshishuangqindedajixia,chenfengmeiyoulezaiduxiaqudexinsi。

bugujialidabotamendezulanhefandui,fangqixueye,yiranerrandebeizhexingli,qianwangleyanhaichengshi,xuanzelezanshilikaizheigeshangxinzhidi。

tongshiyehuaichuaizhechuqufendou,dengyihouzhengledaqianfuguihaixiang。

zheiyiqua,jiushizhengzhengjiunianduo,mashangjiukuaishinianle。

shiniana!renshengyouduoshaogeshinian?

tacongyigegangmanshibasuimeijitiandeshaonian,bianchengleyigebeishehuideeryuwozha,wuyuhengliu,doudaizhemianjuyinzangzijideshehui,rouniechengleyigeershiqideqingnian。

dangchujuedingfangqixueye,zhunbeichuqudagong,daboneishijilidezulanquanshuo。

“xiaofenga,nihaixiao,dushuweizhong。”

“meiqianbuyongpa,nimeiqian,nandaodabohenilianggeshushuhaimeiyouqian?”

“anxindushu,chijiuzaiwomenzheichi,xuefeishenghuofeiwomenchu,womenlaochenjiayoubushimeirenle。”

chenfengneishihoutinggandongde,meixiangdaozhiqindefumuzoule,nenghaiyourenzheimeguanxinzhaoguta。

suirandabohelianggeshushudouzheimeshuo,buguochenfengyebuxiaole,shibasuidousuanchengnianle,youzhezijidekaolv。

dabozhiyouyigenver,yechujiale,pingshizaicunlizhongzhongdi,jinshancaicaishanhuo,yinianyeshengxiabulejigeqian。

erlianggeshushuyechabudaoduoshao,erqiedouyouerzi。

suoyi,weilebimiantuoleizheixieguanxinaihuzijideqinren,chenfenghaishixuanzelelikaicunzi,qumodoudagongfendou。

qishitameixiangguobimiantuoleiqinren,zhishitayijingshibasuile,youzhezijineikexiaodezizunxin,buxiangjirenlixia。

~~~

caichuxiangyata,duizheigeshehuichongmanlehaoqi,yemeiyoudaiduoshaojingti。

xuelibugao,yemeiyougongzuojingyan,xianzhaogegongchangdalesanniangong,renshileyixiepengyou,daoyeshijizanleyixieqian。

caijinshehuidenianqingren,neishixiangdangdegengzhide。

pengyouyoukunnanjiedianqian,zheixiaozijihudoubudaiyouyude。

doushigemen,jueduidejie,ranhoujiqianjiqiandejiejibieren。

buguotagengzhi,nabierendanggemen,bierenkebuzheimexiang。

zuilishuozhehaoxiongdi,guoduanshijianjueduihaini。

jieguoguolehaojigeyue,duifangjuekoubutihaiqiandeshi。

chenfengzheixiaonianqingyemeixiangguokaikouyao。

zuihoudejieguojiushijigeyuehoudeniandi,neiweihaoxiongditizheshuitongbeiru,maliudepaolule,liandianhuaheqietongxundoujitalaheile。

jiechuqudedajiqiankuaiqian,jiuzheiyangroubaozidagou,yiqubuhuile。

gentaxiangtongjinglide,zaishangbandegongchangliyouhaojige。

neihaoxiongdizaizhenggepengyouquanli,zonggongjieledajiwan。

shuoshihua,haitingyoubenshide。

baojinghou,youtongshigenzhejingchaquneirenjialiquzhao,jieguomeiniaoyong,duifangjialijiutupeifang,erqiehaimeiren。

tingzhouweilinjushuo,tajiajiuneixiaoziheyigedie,liangrendoushiwulai,zaicunziqianleyipigudeqian。

!!zheiqianshiyaobuhuilaile。

youguoleyiduanshijian,dangnian,yougeshamentougoushijian,rangchenfenghepengyourenshilebitebi。

douliyouqian,zaipengyoudejiaosuoxia,liangrenyirentoulejiejinyiwan,fenbiezailiushiduokuaiqiandeshihou,ziyiweichaodi,gezigoumaileyibaiwushigebitebi。

kexiangerzhi,jieguoruhe。

maileguohou,neijiageyitiantiandewangxiadiao,zuihoudiaodaoshilaikuaiyige,kuidedichaotian。

jiejinyiwankuaiqian,suizhejiagedexiadie,chaochenglezhizhiyiqianduole。

tapengyouzaojiuyijingqingcangle,zhibuguomeiyougaosuta。

kanzheneiyuelaiyuelakuadejiage,chenfengkeshixintenglehaojitian。

zuihouweilejizhuzheidiyicitouzidejiaoxun,tabingmeiyouxiangneixinjibiaopengyouyiyang,qinglidiaoneixiebitebi,ershirangtamenchucunzaileqieyouxiangli。

jiexialaijinian,chenfengdouwangleyoubitebizheigeshile。

meibanfa,jinglideshitaiduole,genbenmeiyouxiangqilai。

bitebikuileguohou,tacidiaolechanglidegongzuo,youheyigepengyouzuoqileshengyi。

jieguohaoburongyicunqilaideqian,kuidezhishengxiaxiaoliangqiandeshenghuofeile。

weileshenghuo,jixushangbanzhengqian。

shengmingbusi,zuosibuzhi。

liangnianhou,youcunlexiaojiwan,shengzaimodouzheigedachengshi,shenbianchaogudepengyouneishixiangdangdeduo。

suoyi,haoburongyicundeqian,zailiuyuefenjinrugushi。

hehe,jieguoganghaoyudaoyisanniandeqianhuang,meideshuo,qianyoumeile。

!!meiqianchifan,shangbanzhengqian。

youshangleyinianduodeban,pengyoujiaotahehuozuoshengyi,chenfengyouzaiciciqugongzuo。

zheicizhongyubuneimedaomeile,shengyihaibucuo,suiranbushizhengdaqian,danshibidagonghaishiqiangneimeyidian。

buguomeigaoxingduojiu,yiwuniangushidazhang,tayinweichiguoyicikui,meiyoujinqu。

keshitalanbuzhubierena!

tadehezuohuoban,toutoudenazheshenjia,qugushiliyouwanleyiquan,qituyixiashixiancaifuziyou。

jieguoqianleyipiguwaizhai,juankuanpaolule。

suoyi,zaicixuangaoshengyishibai。

xinxinkukuyiliangnian,yichaoyouhuidaolejiefangqian。

quannimeidoushikenghuopengyou。

“jixudagong,yihousheitamiaodeyebierangwochaogu,yebierangwotouzi,zuoshengyidegunyuandian,chaoguoyiqiandeshibiejiaowo。”

jiexialaidaoshimeiyoudagongle,zhinengshidaidedaolai,xinqilewaimaixingye。

taxuanzehuangpaojiashen,cancandayudarou,qizhediandongche,kaishisongqilewaimai。

suiranyitianhenlei,yehuiyudaoxuduoqipa。

buguonibiqigongchangdagong,haishiziyouyixiede。

buyongtiantiandaizailiushuixianshang,zhongfuzhewuliaofaweidedongzuo。

yebuyongrenshouneixieyouzheyidianquanli,jiukaishizuoyaodelingdao。

congchulaidaoxianzai,guolejiunian,chenfengyetanguonvpengyou。

buguobuguanzaiyiqishiduomeenai,duomexiangruyimo,zaijinqianmianqian,doubuzhiyiti。

doushiyixieyaomejiushihetawanwan,huadiantadeqian,yitijiehun,fenshou。

yaomejiushinvfangjialirenxianqi,zuihoubudebufenshou。

meibanfa,cunkuanbuduo,yemeifangzi,laojiadebusuan。

jiulianshuangqinyemeiyou,sheijiafumunengrangzijiguinv,jiajizheiyangjiatingqingkuangderen?

要是陈锋有钱还好。

buguoyebushidouzheiyangde,yeyoubuyaochenfengqianhefangde。

但是陈锋不同意。

“?buyaoqianhefang,nizheidiaomaohaibutongyi?”

dangranbutongyile,buyaoqian,buyaofang,danshiyaochenfengdemingzi,xienvfangjiahukoubenshang,suchengdaochamen。

这陈锋能愿意?

yaoshitayuanyi,neishanlimaizhedefumu,doudebengchutuli,daizheyishengujialaizhaota。

zuijinyicitanlianai,chenfengyifaxianzijishigebeitaierjieshu。

~~~~

tajiuxiangbeizuzhouleyiyang,songleyinianduodewaimai,youcunleyidianqian,jieguoni,youyixiasunshilehaojiwan!!

yuanyinshineitianxitongtuidedanyoudianduo,yankanzheyaochaoshile,chenfengchadianbadiandongchedangmotuocheqi。

jiulianzhuangewan,douxiangweilejieyueshijianxuanzepianyile,zhishiyinweimeizheijishuxuanzelefangqi。

buguoquanchengsududoushizuigaode。

xiachehouyoufeikuaidepao,jieguoyibuxiaoxin,zhuangdaoleren。

beizhuangderenhaihao,zhishiyigelieju,buguoduifangshoulidedongxidiaodishang,fachupengdeyisheng。

haojiahuo,qingmodedaozunxiang,shuaidejiushengxiadizuoshiwanhaodele。

zaiduifangzhudongbaojingjiafapiaoxia,tameiyourenhebanfadetaolesiwanduo。

de,zheixiayoushuangle,xinkuyinianduo,fengliyuli,loushanglouxia,shengchijianyong,haoburongyicunxialaideqian,yixiayoumeishengduoshaodayangle。

zheihaiyoupidexinqingsongwaimai,jikehudalegedianhua,youjingchashushuzuozheng,duifangbiaoshilijie,zhidianletuikuan,meiyourangchenfengzaibeifaqian。

xianzaichenfengnaodailigezhonghuixiang,rendoushimihude,doubuzhidaozenmehuidejia。

“ai,congchulaihou,zijimeigejinian,jiunengbahaoburongyicundeqianjibaiguang,zheibuzuoshengyihetouzile,haishijibaiguang。”

“nandao,meiyunchanshen?wozheilianneitaidouhuanchenghongsele,doumeiyoudiaoyong?”

“yaobubapidaiyehuanchenghongshengzi?”

“huozheshijibamaxuandedifangbuhao?shoudaofengshuideyingxiang?”

“buyinggaia,cunlidedoumaineibian,yemeijiansheizheimedaomeia!”

“yi?nandaoshibamajuede,wozheijiniandoubuhuiqukantamen,suoyiyongzheizhongbanfabiwohuiqukankantamen?”

yebuguaichenfenghuizheimexiang,bijingzheijiunianduokuaishinian,tazhendetaimeile,jiushicunbuxialaiqian。

chulaizheimejiu,yiciyemeiyouhuiquguo,doumeiyoujifumusaosaomu。

yejiuyinianjidabohuidianqianguoqu,rangtabangmangfengnianguojiejifumushaodianxiangzhuzhiqian,chuchucao,duiduifentoueryi。

“ai,kanlaishidehuiquyitangle。”

buguanghuiqusaomu,talaishidaizhexinshenfenzheng,xianzaiyekuaiyaodaoqile,dehuijiacongxinbanlixindele。

dengchenfengzuochuzheigejuedinghou,mingmingzhizhongyiqiedouzaigaibian。

daojiaxiache,chenfengzaimodoudezhusuo,shichengxiangjiehebudeyijiandixiashi,budaoshipingfang。

maquesuixiaowuzangjuquan,shacesuo,chufang,woshidouyou!!

cesuonengdunxiasangeren!!chufangbudaoyipingfang

zheihaishiyigeyueyiqiankuaizude。

meibanfa,fangjiayuelaiyuegui,fangzugenzheyeshuizhangchuangao,chenfengdoubeipobanjiahaojicile。

kaimenjinwu,guanmenhouzuozailebianshangdexiaodengzishang,chenfengzheishicaifaxian,zijizenmebazheipowanyijidaihuilaile?

yuanlai,tafaxianzijishoulibuzhidaizhebierendiandewaimai,haibaneiposuidedaozunxiangjidailehuilai。

nimeide,waimaikeyizijichi,zheipocixiangnengganma?

buguotayemeiyoulimarengdiao,bawaimaifangzhuozibianshang,jiezhebaneiyibaopociqifangzhongjian,dakailekoudai。

meibanfa,jiwankuaimaidepolan,dezixikanyikanbushi?

pi,tashixiaoshuokanduole,tebieshiyixiegudongwen,shabaozhongbao。

suoyichenfengdasuankankan,neihaimeiyoushuaihuaidedizuoli,huibuhuizangzhedongxi。

heihei,yaoshilimianyoushajixueshi,tianhuangshi,huozheshenmejiazhilianchengdeyemingzhu,neibushijiuyiyebaofu,maifangmaiche?

huaizhezheiyangdexinsi,chenfengzaidaizilifanzhaoleqilai,meiyihui,jiubaneishilimizuoyougaodedizuojizhaolechulai。