第1章 曲爹奶爸的幸福生活

魔都。

汤臣一品。

zongyi《damingxingderichang》diyiqizhengzaidanghongtianhoushuwandejialiluzhi。

zuoweishuwandexianyulaogong,suchenbenbuyuanjiangzijiyijiarendesishenghuobaoluzaijingtouxiagongrenguanshang、yulede。

danjiabuzhulaopodarenruanmoyingpao。

“wunianqianwomenhaiburenshi,wochibuqifandeshihou,shixiongdaojilewojihuicaimianqiangaoguoneiduanjiannanshiqi,dishuizhiendangyongquanxiangbao,xianzaitayudaolekunnanwomenjiubangtayibaba……”shuwanbaozhesuchendegebosajiao。

sheinengxiangdaoheheyoumingdegaolengtianhousixialijingranshigeaisajiaodexiaonvren?

《damingxingderichang》yuandingdemingxingjiabinturanshuangyue,jiemukaibozaiji,xiongshanyishizhaobudaoqitaheshidemingxing,jiuzhinengqiushuwanle。

【叮咚!选项激活】

xuanxiangyi:dayingtianhoulaopodeqingqiu。

jiangli:dianfengjihuihuajineng

选项二:拒绝舒婉。

jiangli:lanbojiniyiliang。

wunianqianchuanyueguolai,diyicizaijietouyujianshuwan,suchenjiujihuole【dianfengrenshengxitong】,xitongjichulianggexuanxiang,xuanxiangyibangshuwanxiege,jianglibaibeixiaofeifanxianka。xuanxiangerbuwenbugu,jianglishiwanxianjin。

suchenhaobuyouyujiuxuanzeleqianzhe。

yeyinweineicixiehouxiangshi,zuihoushuwanchengletadelaopo。

pingjiezhexitongsuchenbutingzuochuxuanzehuodejiangli,tayishoujiezheyishoubangshuwanxiege,yingshibashuwancongyigejietouxiaotoumingpengchenglezuinianqingdetianhou。

ertayinjumuhou,chengleshuwanbeihouzuishenmideciquren“qilincaizi”。

他从未露面。

“wozenmezhidao?yinweiwoshitadaxuetongxue!zhendequandajia,biebeitadewaibiaomihuole……xianhuachazaileniufenshang,tianeroubeilaihamajitianle!”

“真的假的?”

“wohaoxiangyetingshuoguozheiyangdechuanyan……”

“e……suoyizheigenanrenwanquanjiushibeishuwannvshenbaoyangle?suanshenmenanrena!”

“suiranwoyuexinwuqian,danwodoujuedezijibitaqiang。”

“wodoukanbushangzheiyangdenanren,shuwannvshenyanxialema?”

suchen“ruanfannan”deshenfenbeishuwandefensimenfengkuangxianqi。

现代人都很现实。

youqianjiushizhenai,meiqianjiushiyishiwuchengdewenrou。

suchendangranbuzhidaozijiyijingbeiguanzhongdashangle“ruanfannan”debiaoqian。

tadequeshigejiatingzhufu。

zaibierenyanlitazhengtianyoushouhaoxianbuwuzhengye。

dantacongbuzaiyibierendeyanguang。

huamianzhongsuchenlaidaonversuxiaoxidefangjian。

sansuidesuxiaoxishuidezhengxiang。

ciwawabandejifu,jingzhidewuguan,baozheyizhixiaoxiong,lianshangguazhetianmeidexiaorong,kanyangzisihuzhengzuozheyichanghaomeng。

“wa,xiaoxihaokeai。”

“shuijuedeyangzitaiguaileba。”

“心都融化了……”

“youzaipianwoshengnver。”

fensimenshunjianbeisuxiaoxiquanfen。

suxiaoxicengheshuwanzaijingtouzhongchuxianguo,suoyifensimenyedourende。

suchenfushenqiaozheshushuidenver,lianshangyangyizhexingfuheniaidexiaorong。

他没有将之叫醒。

ershiqingqingfushenqinwenleyixiatadeetou。

“baba……”ranergangyiqinsuxiaoxijiuxingle,zhengkaineishuangshuilinglingfanzheganjingguangmangdedayanjing,tataiqixiaoshouroulerouyan,shuiyanxingzhong。

“xiaolanchong,qichuangge。”

“ng。”suxiaoxidianlediantou,ranhoushenchuruannuodeshuangbei,guazailesuchenbozishang。

suchenweiweiqishenjiujiangzhibaoleqilai。

动作温馨熟练。

jiuhaoxiangmeitiansuxiaoxidoushizheiyangqichuangban。

“tiannaxiaoximengfantianle,xiangnietadelianzenmeban?”

“baba~zheiyishengjiaodewoxindousule。”

“好幸福。”

“woxiangshengnverlezenmeban?keshihaimeiyounanpengyou……”

“xiaojiejie,jiageweixinba,zhenghaowoyemeinvpengyou,womencouyidui。”

suxiaoxiguazaisuchenbozishangyiqidaoleguanxishi。suxiaoxishulianbanlaixiaobandeng,fangzaixiliantaiqian,caishangqu,ranhouxiangyigexiaodarenyibanzijijiyagao、xilian。

“baba,jideguahuzie,qinwoxiaoliandandeshihouyoudianzhani。”suxiaoxitixingsuchen。

“tingxiaoxidehua,guaiguaiguahuzi。”

xishuwansuchenlazhexiaoxidexiaoshouyiqixialou。

苏小夕古灵精怪的。

tajintianxinqingsihuhenhao。

hengzheyishousuchenzuowanhongtashuijueshichangdeerge,bengbengtiaotiaoxialai。

“kuailechitangzaizhonglemengxiangjiubianchenghaiyang

鼓的眼睛大嘴巴

同样唱的响亮

jiewoyishuangxiaochibangjiunengfeixiangtaiyang

我相信奇迹就在身上

lalalala~lalalala~lalalalayounixiangbanleapfrog……”

suxiaoxikexihuanzheishou《xiaotiaowa》le,zuotianwanshangfeiyaoxuehuilecaikenshuijue。

zhibojianguanzhongtingdaozheishougeshunjianjiubeixinaole。

“这是什么儿歌?”

“没听过。”

“sousuoleyixiageci……wangshangyemeiyoua。”

“还怪好听的。”

wangyoumenzhengqizuibashetaolunzhe,zheishizhengzaichufangzhunbeizaocandeshuwantingdaogeshengzhuanguotoulai,“xiaoxi,nichangdeshishenmegea?”

“xiaotiaowa,”suxiaoxishengyinnuonuode,“zuotianwanshangbabahongwoshuijuedeshihouxiedeni,henhaotingba?”

“xixi,xiaoxixuehuilecaishuijuedee,henlihaiba。”

“womenxiaoxizuilihaile。”shuwanyilianniai。

“zhendema?”xiaoxiyilianrenzhen。

“当然啦。”

“xiaoxiyaozhangdahouyaochengweimamayiyanglihaidedamingxing。”suxiaoxiyifuxiaoaojiaodeyangzi,“xixi,ranhoujiajixiangbabayiyanglihaidenanpengyou。”

小棉袄甜度超标。

幸福炸裂。

erzhibojianguanzhongquejingdaile。

“ruanfannanjingranhuixiege?”

却被业界奉为曲爹。

yulequansuoyourendouxiangjiekaiqilincaizideshenmimiansha,danwunianlai,yiwusuohuo!

wunianlaisuchenmomowuwen,guozhexianyubandeshenghuo。

为什么不出道?

yinweiqianshizaidiqiucaolaobanshenghaoburongyihunchengletianwangjuxing,quezaizuidianfengshiqichachuaizhengwanqi,yishengshuoshitaiguolaoleijingchangaoyesuozhi,quezhenbannianhoutajiuguale。

zhonghuoyishi,haiyou【dianfengrenshengxitong】,hebihuodeneimelei?

wanwanlaopo、doudounver、zhongzhonghua、yangyangyu、dudujia……buhaoma?

明明可以咸鱼!

为什么还要工作?

“haoba。”suchendayingxialai。

“laogongwoaisinile。”

【dingdong!suzhuzuochuxuanzedianfengjihuihuajinengyidaozhang】

……

jiemucongzaoshangliudianjiuyijingkaibole。

蓝星直播发达。

suoyoujiemudoushizhibofangshijinxing。

《damingxingderichang》maidianjiushichengxianmingxingdezhenshirichangshenghuo,zhuazhuguanzhongdelieqixinli。

贵在真实!

所以节目没有剧本。

yiqiedoushisuchenyijiarichangshenghuozuizhenshidezhuangtai。

yinweijiemuzhiqianzuoledaliangdexuanchuan,suoyijiemuyikaibojiuyouhenduoguanzhongyonglejinlai。

zuoweigaolengtianhou,shuwandefensiqunbukeweibupangda。

zhibojingtoucongtangchenyipinwaikuaisuxiangneiyidong,ranhoutouguochuanghu,laidaolesuchenjiali。

“wa!tangchenyipinni。”

“zheijiushishuwandejiama?taidaleba!taipiaoliangle!”

“zheideshangqianpingmiba?”

“wodetian,zheibeizinengzaizheiyangdefangzilizhuyitian,wosidouyuanyi。”

“jidongjidong,haoqidaishuwannvshenderichangshenghuoshishenmeyangzide。”

wushudedanmucongzhibojianpiaoguo。

erzheishijingtouyizhuan,yigechuanzheshuiyidenanrencongwoshizouchulai,toufashaoxianpengsonglingluan,dangebo、tuishangdejianzirouqueburonghushi。

yizhangshuaiqideliankeyibijianguoneizuidingliudejuxing。

“zheijiushishuwandelaogongma?yetaishuaileba。”

“tacongmeiyouzaigonggongchanghechuxianguoni,wa,diyicijiandaoshuwannvshendelaogong,womule,zheiyanzhihaoke,zheishencai……mama!woliukoushuile。”

“shuaiyoushenmeyong,ruanfannanyige。”

“软饭男?”

“nimenbuhuibuzhidaoba?tazhisuoyibuchuxianzaigongzhongshiye,jiushiyinweizhengtianyoushouhaoxian,yishiwucheng……meitianbugongzuo,jiuzaijiazuofandaiwa,quanzhijiatingzhufu。yigedananren,haixuyaoshuwannvshenzhengqianyangta。zhenbuzhidaoshuwannvshenzenmehuikanshangta。”

“a,buhuiba?tazheimeshuaiyinggaishigefuerdaiba?yougeyouqiandedie,haigongzuoganma?”

“fuerdai?biedoule!tajiaosuchen,gueryuanzhangda,erbenbiye……yaoqianmeiqian,yaobeijingmeibeijing。chulezhangdeshuai,yiwushichu。”

“nizenmezhidao?shuwannvshenlianlaogongdexingmingdoumeitouluguo。”