我为什么要跳河?

suiranyijingrulechun,danzaochundetianqiyijiulengdehen,zaijiashangxiazheyu,caisidianzhongdeguangjing,tianyijingandexiangbeimoshuipoguoyiyang。

zhenggemengjiawanbeibowulongzhao,jingmianxiang。yuanyuandi,huitingdaoyixieshuohuasheng,jianhuoyougoujiao。

jinsuizuoleyigemeng,mengjianzijibeinizaishuili,fangfobeishenmechanzhuleshenti,yuezhengzhayuechandejin。taxianghujiao,faxianzhixidechuanbuguoqilai。shentisuihouyidianyidiandiwangxiachen。

taxiangzhengkaiyanjing,yanpiquesiyouqianjinchen,wufadongdan。nulilexujiu,cairangshouzhidongledong。

mashangyouyigejidongdeshengyinzaitaerpanghan:“jie,jienixinglema?”

金穗缓缓睁开眼睛。

yinruyanliandeshiheiququdefangding,fangdingyongcaogaide,youjigenxiachuidecaojianchuhaiguazhejingyingdeshuizhuzi。

suihouwendaohenqiguaideweidao,shichaoshidemeiweihunhezhecibidesuanwei。

这是哪儿呢?

yizhangnianqingdelianpangcoushanglai,yaozhetadejianbang,youjingyouxidishuo:“jie,nizhongyuxingle!nizhongyuxinglea!”

tadagaishiqibasui,suiranfusebugoubai,danyerangrenkanchuqingchunzhinendeyangzi。shuleliangtiaobianzichuizaierhou,youhouhoudeliuhai,shenshangchuanyijiananhongsegezicubuyifu。

jinsuidingdingdikanzheta,hurancongchuangshangzuoqilai,guozhemianbeisuodaoqiangjiao,shenqingjingti。zheigedabanqiguaidenvshengshishei?weishenmeyaojiaozijizuojiejie?

jinxiucuoedikanzhejiejiedezheigefanying,qingshengwenta:“jie,nizenmele?”

jinsuixiangkaikoushuohua,keshihoulongxiangbeihuoshaoguoside,tengdeshuobuchuhualai。tazhandouzheganliedezuichun,xuruodishuo:“shui。”

jinxiulingwudaotadezhishi,lianmangzhanqilaiyingdao:“nidengzhe,womashangjiulai。”

chenzhenvshengchuqudekongdang,jinsuililelisixu。tazuotianwanshangmingmingshizaigongsijiaban,aoyedengneigeyinweihuilvbianlebuguanshichazhejixiadandewaiguokehu。xiabanyeyoujianquedingwanbi,takundepazaizhuozishangshuizhele。xianzaizenmehuizaizheigedifang?

jingranhaiyouyigenianqingdenvshengjiaotajiejie?tazhiyouyigedidieryi。

zheishi,gangcaichuqudenvshengjinlaile,shoulinazheyigecuciwan,limianzhuanglebanwanshui。

jinsuijieguolai,yidakouhexiaqu,suijipenlechulai。zheishishenmeshuia!yiguzinixingweihefuchouwei,bitaheguodeneigelaoshanshecaobaihuashuihainanhe。

jinxiuxiangtajieshi:“jie,neigeshuihulimeiyoushuile,wozhijiecongshuigangliyaode。”

tingdaoshishuigangliyaodeshengshui,jinsuiyougantulejixia。jinxiumangguolaipaitahoubei,jiaojidiwen:“jiea,nishinaerbushufu?”

jinsuituwanle,caidingzhetawen:“nishishei?ganmajiaowojiejie?”

jinxiuxianshiyileng,ranhoukusangzhelianshuo:“jiea,woshiniqinmeimeijinxiua!jienitaishale,weilezheidianshiqingtiaohe!”

jinsuibumingbaidiwen:“woweishenmeyaotiaohe?”

jinxiufangkaita,yutamianduimianshuo:“jiefubushilianggeyuemeijiqianhuilailema?mengjiazheibianshuoshinitoutouqulinglemeijiaochulai,mayiweiniyouqianleyouguolaizhaoniyao。taneigepiqinishizhidaode,majiumale,nizhenbujitayounengzenmeyang?”

jinxiutanleyikouqi,jixushuo:“mengjiaquwomenjialibaoxin,shuonitiaohele。yinweinibuxiangbaqiannachulaicaishidekurouji,tamenshuozhiyaonibaqiannachulai,mengjiajiujixuliuni,buranjiuyaobaniganhuiniangjia。jie,yaobuninachulaiba,biejiangle!”

“nigangcaishuo,nijiefulianggeyuemeijiqianhuijiale?”jinsuizhuazhetagangcaihualiguanjianciwen。

jinxiudiantou:“duia,jienizenmele?nandaonishuaihuainaozi,shenmeshiqingdoujibudele?”

“woxiangchuqukankan。”jinsuijuedenaozihenluan,laidaoyigemoshengdehuanjing,zaitingwanzheiyitongmeitoumeinaodehua,taxianzaijiqiedixiangzhidaodaodishizenmeyihuishi。

xiankaibeiziyaoxiachuang,beipumianerlaidehanyibitui。taditouqiaojianzijishenshangzhichuanleyijianqimaodeqiuyi,erwaitaofangzaichuangwei。tashenshoulaoguolai,shiyijiansuihuaxiaomianao,taoshangzhihou,tazheyishuangyingbangbangdetuoxiewangmenkouzouqu。

waimianhaizaixiazhemaomaoxiyu,jinsuizhanzaimenwai,ruyanzhichushishuazheshihuideniwafang,yuanziliangceyoudiaidexiangfang,xibianshigongjufanghejiaqinquan,dongbianzeshichufangyijitagangcaidaidewuzi。

muguangyueguozhulibaweiqideyuanqiang,fujindewuziyeshizheizhongfengge,suoyitashichuanyuelema?

zhengwuwuyanxia,youyigechuanzheheibuwaitao,liansehuibaidefunvzaiyongbojibomi,jiantamenjiemeierrenchulai,wangdishangtuleyikoutuomo,henhendishuodao:“huiqi!”suihouzhuanshenjinwuzili。

jinxiuduozaitashenhoushuo:“gangcaineigeshinihoupopo,piqibizanmahaibao。”

jinsuibingbuzaiyi,taxianzaizuidadewentishiyaonongqingchudaodishizenmehuishi。laidaozhengwumenqian,tademuguangchaowulikanqu,zhengduimendeqiangshangguazheyibenhouhouderili,shangmianqingchudiyinzhe:1977nian2yue18ri。

suoyitashizhendechuanyuele?

neigehuibailiancongfangjianlichulai,kanjianjinsuizhanzaimenwai,zhangkoujiumadao:“erbaikuaiqianjiuqulenizheimeyigechilibawaidebaijiahuo!niyaosijiusidegancuixie,biejiaodewomengjiabudeanning!”

jinsuihaichuzaichuanyueguolaidezhenjingzhizhong,gubushanghaizui。jinxiunianqing,qixingda,takebunengrenshoubierenzheiyangma:“woshuoxushenzi,niyouhuahaohaoshuo,bieluanmaren。”

xuqiupingjianjinxiuhaizui,dengshidengdaleyanjing,shuangshouchayaopokoudama:“nisuanshenmedongxi?womamengjiaderen,jishilundaonizheizhonghuangmaoyatouchazui?nimenjinjiajiushizheiyangjiaohaizidingzhuangzhangbeide?”

jinxiuhongzheliangentazhengzhi:“nipingshenmemawomenjia?nimenbawojiedoubidetiaohele,haixiangyaozenmeyang?wojiameizhaonimensuanzhang,nizheigelaoyaopohaiegouxianyaoren?nibuguoshiwojiefudehouma,nisuanshenmezhengjingzhangbei?”

jinxiudejijuhuajujuchuozaixuqiupingxinwozishang,qidetazhifanbaiyan,yibianwuzhexiongkouyibianquzhaosaoba,lunqilaijiuyaodata。

jinsuisuiranhaimeiyougaoqingchushiqingdezhenxiang,danchuyubennengdiyaobangjinxiu。talanzhuxuqiupingjijiangyaoluoxiadesaoba,yutajiangchi。

jinxiujiandabuzheziji,jiuduixuqiupingzuoguilian:“youbenshidawoa?”

gangzouruyuanmendechenyuanyuankanjianqinmahejinsuizaiqiangsaoba,jianjiaozhefeibenguolai:“nimenjinggandawoma?”