第1章 从我的胯下爬过去

“dahuangzi,yuneryijingshiniderenle,nikeyaoduiyunerfuze……”

“benhuangzizhualelingyouyou,youtitazhaolezheimeduonanren,bushiweileyaoduiyunerfuze……”

hongluanzhangnei,yinanyinv**zaiyiqi,kongqizhongmimanzhelingrenzuooudeshemiqixi。

……

那是什么声音?

lingyouyouzhengkaiyan,yizhentianxuandizhuandetong。

xunshengkanqu,neibukanruyandeyimurangtaruzaoleipi,zhenggerendoubuhaole。

“dahuangzi!biezheiyang!jiejiexingle!”

xingfenzhongdelingyunerduishanglelingyouyoudemouzi,deyidetiaoletiaomei,duizhelingyouyoubilegexiangxiadezhongzhi。

dahuangzishitade,sheiyebiexianggentaqiang!

lingyouyouyilianmengbi,wanquanbuzhidaofashengleshenmeshishi,yizhenbushuyutadejiyixilai,rangtayouxiecuoshoubuji。

yunxuandalu,suchengyaojie,jujileshezuhuzulangzudengdengzhongzu。qizhongshezudeshilinianyagezu,shizheipiandaludetongzhizhe。

zheijushentidezhurengentatongmingtongxing,huzudigongzhu,yizhangfurongmianyanjuetianxia。queyinmeixinyidianzhusha,beiyuyanchengleyunxuandaludeshaxing,renrenbizhibuji。

yushezudedahuangzizhifuweihun,queyinmeimeisuanji,duhailedahuangziaiqiefuzhonghaizi。

dahuangzizhennu,buxiyiqiedaijiayeyaojiechuhunyue,zhaoleyiduidenanrenyiyuhuitaqingbai。

yuanzhukukuaiqiu,quebeidahuangziyijiaobaotou,dangchangsiwang,ranhoutajiufutizhongshengle。

xiangqizijidesi,tagoulegouzuijiao。guoranshitongmingtongming,liangrendoushisizaijianfu**deshouzhong!

“jiranxingle,neijiujixugangcaimeizuowandeshi!”chuchengyuanlenglengyixiao,duizhemenwaihanleyisheng,“jinlaiba!”

jimingluozheshangbanshendejingzhuangnanzituimenerru,yiyanbufadechaolingyouyouzouqu,shijishuangyanmaozhelvguang。

lingyouyou**leyisheng,weiqiuzibaoshunjianpuxianglelingyuner,piaoliangdexiaoshoukouzhulelingyunerdebozi。

nainaigexiong,bushishuoshashouchuanyuetongyiniubima?tazenmejiubeicuichenglezheigexiongyang?

作死的老天爷!

yizhenzhixiganxilai,lingyunerlikedehongleyan,“jiejie……”

neiyishengqixuedehuhan,haosishouletiandadeweiquyiyang。

lingyouyouduitazhalezhayan,mouzhongquanshichaofengzhise,“xiangshangwei,keyi!danxiangcaizhewodeshitishangwei,meimen!”

takeyirangrenherencai,danjuebuhuirangzheimedayiduobailianhuacai!

talingyouyoudeshentikejinguidehen!

“jiejie,womeiyou,wozhishixianggendahuangzizaiyiqi,suoyicaihui……”

lingyunernanyizhixindekanzhelingyouyou,yanleiyikeyikedewangxiadiao,weiqudeyanleidoutingbuxialai。

neilihuadaiyudemoyangkandechuchengyuanxintongbuyi!

“suoyicaihuijiewozhishouchuleneigehaizi,duima?”

neihaiziqueshisizaitashouzhong,danshizuoyongzhequeshilingyuner,lingyunerfandeshiyuanzui!

zheizhongguotashijueduibunengbeide!

“jiejie,wozhidaoniyuanwo。danniyebunengzheiyangxuekoupenren,neihaizidesiyuwoheguan?”

neihaizijiushitasuanjilingyouyoushadeyouruhe?lingyouyounadechuzhengjuma?

nabuchuzhengju,neikejiushiwumie,tahaikeyiqufuqinmianqiangaotayizhuang!

“lingyuner,zheishinirenle,jiedahuanxi!ruoshiburen,wojiurangnizheizhizamaohuahuli,laibuji**jiujiusiwuzangshenzhidi!”

tazheirenzuishoubuledejiushibeiyuanwang,bujianglingyunerlaxiashui,tajuebuhuishanbaganxiu!

zhixiwanglingyunernengchengshoudeqizhenxiangbaoluzhihoudehouguo!

“dahuangzijiuwo,jiejietafengle……”

bozimengdeyijin,lingyunerzhijuedeyanqianyihei,yizhongsiwangdekongjuganrangtahunshenfaleng。

takandechulailingyouyoushidongzhengedele,danzheishitaquebunengchengren,fouzetajingyingdeyiqiedoujiangchengweipaoying!

jieshoudaolingyunerqiuzhudemuguang,chuchengyuanzheicaihuishen,“fangkaiyuner,benhuangzikeyikaolvliuniyijuquanshi!”

haisiletadehaizi,haixianghaisitaxinaidenvzi,jianzhichixinwangxiang!

tabugairucirenci,tagaizaitahunmishijiurangzheixienanrenwancanta!

“chuchengyuan,nidaodishizhenyuhaishizhenchun?beiyizhizamaohuahuliwannongyuzhangxin,henshuangma?”

lingyouyouduichuchengyuandeweixiechizhiyibi,kanxiangtademuguangchongmanlebishi。

nanguaitazaidiweizhizhengzhongbeierhuangzidiaoda,zheizhongzhishangkongpalianzhudoumeitachun!

ganjuedaozijidenanxingzizunbeishenshenjiantaledechuchengyuan:“……”

lingyunerdeneidianxiaoxinsi,taruhenengbumingbai?

tazhibuguoshixiangjiezheigejihuijiechutamendehunyuebale!

“yuanlairuci,womingbaile!chuchengyuan,niduiwoburen,neikebieguaiwobuyile!”

lingyouyoumeiyoucuoguochuchengyuanmouzhongyishanerguodeyoushen,huangrandawu。

ganqingtashiwuhuile,chuchengyuanyizhidouzhidaozheishilingyunerdexiaobaxi,buguoshixiangjielingyunerdeshouchuletaeryi。

hehe,zheiduigounannvxiangzijuefenmu,tanannengbuchengquantamen!

“xiangjiuta,keyi!congwode**paguoqu,zhengmingniduitashizhenai!”

saoleyiyanbuzhecunlvdechuchengyuan,zuijiaogouqileyisilengcandexiao。

zheishishangsuanjiletahaixiangquanshenertuideren,haimeichusheng!

rucichangkuangbaqidehua,rangchuchengyuandelianchediheile,“lingyouyou,nizhaosi!”

yaoshishoulezhei**zhiru,takongpajiuhuisangshizhengduodiweidezige!

zheizhongyoukenenghuiletayishengdeshi,tashizhendebuxianggan!

kepianpianlingyunerbujinshitasuoai,duitayouhaiyouhendadeliyongjiazhi!

“bupashiba?neijiuzhinengyanzhengzhengdekanzhetasizainimianqianle!”

sihuweileyinzhengtadehuayiban,qiazhelingyunerdeshouzaicishoujin。

lingyunerdeliansexunsuzhanghong,shenzidouruanlexialai,kejianlingyouyoushixialehenshoude。

chuchengyuanxiangshangqianjiuren,naihequebeilingyouyouneixionghendemoyangjijingdaole,dunshiyouxiehuanghu。

zheiyangdelingyouyouwanquandianfuletaduitadekanfa,rangtajuedeyouxiefeiyisuosi。

zheimeyilengshen,lingyuneryijingbeilingyouyouqiachuleyuanxing,bianshenchengleyizhiyanyanyixiyouzamaodehuahuli!

“lingyouyou,benhuangzidayingni!”

lingyunershihuzuzuzhangzuitengaidenver,taxiangyaodengdingshewangzhiwei,haixuyaohuzuzuzhangdedinglizhichi。

shewangzhiweiyuzizunbiqilai,taxinzhongdetianpingzhongyupianxiangleqianzhe。

tayouqianbaizhongnveshalingyouyoudebanfa,dengjiuxialingyuner,jianglingyouyouhezheixieshiweichulilebiankewanshidaji!

“lailailai,ganjinrangwokankannicongwo**paguoqudeyingzi,wobaozhengrangnizheiyipayongzaishice!”