第1章

—脑子寄存处—

sangyuyizhengyan,beishuaileyibazhang。

jiannanrenshanbazhangdeshihou,shouxianpiaoguolaideshichouqi,ranhoucaishibazhang,dangchouqichongyingtabiqiangdeneiyishunjian,lianshang**ladedeganjuebujinteng,erqieexin。

xiangqilaile,tadouxiangqilaile。

tashiyibenwanrenmidanvzhushuangwenlimiandeedunvpeijiaqianjin,nanzhudezhongjitiangou!

tabuzhishitiannanzhu,haitianquanjia。

suhuashuodehao,tiangoutiandaozuihouyiwusuoyou。

“wogaosuni,xiangwanyaoshichuleshenmeshier,nijiudengzhegunchusujiahuinineigeyouqiongyoupodejiaba。”

sangyucongbingchuangshangdantiaoerqi,yigesaotangtuijiangtaganfanxiaqu,jinjiezhewangtashenshangyibeng。

nanrenfachujiliedecanjiaosheng。

bingfangmenjiuzaicikedakaile,yiqunrenwuyangyangdezoulejinlai。

摄像头对准了她。

sangyupapapajiletajibazhang,zuoyoukaigong。

“sanglaoshi……ni……”zenmeyang?

daoyanzhenjingdekanzheyanqianzheiyimu,kaqiaole。

“lengzheganshenme?kuailanzhutaa!”

sangyulinqidishangdelajitong,yixiazidaokouzainanrentoushang。

“airuibadizainitoushangbaokou!”sangyuhaozhesangzichangwanzhihou,bingfangxianruyipianjijingzhong。

【wokandaoleshenme?sangyufengle?】

【zheigecijiwogandaonalilaile?】

【nibieshuo,nizhenbieshuo,haitingyingjingde!】

【made,zheigejiaqianjinzheimechangkuangma?jingranganzheiyangduiwomenguzong。】

“kankankan?kanshenme,meijianguomeinv?zaikanbanimenyanzhuzikouxialai!”

嘉宾们:“……”

被雷劈疯了吧?

daoyanzhilezhiziji,yanzhongdaizheyisibukezhixin:“woyeyaoma?”

【救命,我笑了。】

【youmozhongdaizheyisigaoxiao。】

〔dididi,gongxisuzhu,zhenjingzhi+19999998,diaoluodaoju,feixinghuojiantong,shiyongdaojukeyizaitiankongfeixingshifenzhong。〕

桑榆:〔??〕

谁在说话?

〔zainibeileipideyishunjian,shiwobangdingleni,bingbaxiaoshuoneirongchuanshudaonidenaohaili,yihouwojiushinidexitongle,youyuxianzaixiaoshuoshijiehunluan,chuxianlehenduoyuantianhendidepeijiaomen,womendecunzai,jiushibangzhusuzhuwanchengnitiangaiming、zoushangrenshengdianfengderenwu!〕

yuantianhendi?renshengdianfeng?

xianzaidejuqingyinggaijinxingdaotafeiyaozaileidianjiaojiadewanshangchumenfangfengzheng,zhenqianjinsuxiangwanzuoweijiejie,haobuyouyudegenzhechumenle。

zhihou“weilebaohumeimei。”

shanliangzhengyidezhenqianjinbeileipile。

zhiyuweishenmeyaozaiyigeleidianjiaojiadewanshangchumen。

kenengshiweilepudianhoumiantabeiganchuhaomenba。

zuozhedenaodaishibeilvtilema?shiyongjiaodadezima?xiechuzheizhongrenshengongfendenitianjuqing。

tayebeisuzaochengyigezhizhang。

lianggerenyikuaierbeisongjinlaiyiyuan,daomuqianweizhi,suxiangwanhaimeixingguolai。

sangyusisuowan,taitoukanguoqu。

liushuidebazong,tiedadeguxing。

guzhiyanyishenwuhui,liangyanfennudekanzheta。

“sangyu,wominglingni,jiwodaoqian。”

“niyiweinishiyuhuangdadia?wojinidaoqian?he~pei!”

桑榆直接啐了一口。

guzhiyanganjuebeitawurudaole。

lianseyinchendekaikou:“sangyu,wobudanvren,nibiebiwodongshou。”

sangyuxiaoxixi:“dabuguojiudabuguoge~haiwobudanvren~”

【qisirenbuchangminga。】

【sangyubushixihuanguzhiyanma?tabushizhengtiangenzaiguzhiyan**houmianyikouyigegegema?】

【sangyushibushibeiduoshele?】

【jiannvrenguyideba!jiushixiangrangdajiaguanzhuta!】

guzhiyandedanaozaisikao,henxianrantayebumingbaisangyuzenmeturanhuanleyigeren。

很快,他想明白了。

tadezuijiaoshangyang,gouqiyimojinzaizhangkongzhongdeqianxiao。

“he,nvren,nishixiangtongguozheizhongfangshiyinqiwodezhuyiba。”

sangyujuedetagangcaidadehaishitaiqingle,caihuijitazheiyangdezixin。

tademeixinzhouqi,dounengjiasiyizhicangying:“nideniaoshiyaguangde?”

guzhiyanlengkuyixiao:“fangqiba,wulunniyongshenmebanfa,wodoubuhuiduokanniyiyan,nizheiyangdenvren,wozhihuijuede……”

huahaimeishuowan,yigejuzihenhendezajintazuili,yixiaziduzhuletadezui。

guzhiyanhoutuiliangqiangleyixia,ganjuezijideyadousongle。

“guzong,nimeishiba?”yidaowenroudongtingdeshengyinchuanguolai。

sangyudalianglezheiweinvjiabinyiyan。

nvzhuguimimujie,shiyiduowenroujueqiangdexiaobaihua。

guzhiyanfennushangqianjiuyaodongshoudata。

shouzhihaimeipengdaosangyu,tashunshiwangdishangyitang,kaishiyuandidagun。

“aa,wobuhuole,bazongdarena!weishenmeyaoqifuwozheimeyigerouruokeliandexiaonvhaier~zheigeshijiehaiyoumeiyoutianlile~”

guzhiyanshoujiuzaibankongzhong,shouzhidouzaizhandou。

“我……”TM!

嘉宾们表情:

【woquanjiadouzhenjingle!】

【wotingjianleshenme?rouruokeliandexiaonvhai?】

【好颠,心动了。】

【loushangnixianbiexindong,rangwolai!】

【zheijingshenzhuangtaiyanwo,aileaile。】

【guzhiyan:niaoyuhuaxiang。】

wangdao:“nixianqilai,youhuahaohaoshuo,bienao,zheishizhibo!nibuxianghunle?”

sangyu:“wobuhuolewuwuwuwu,tadawo!nikantadadewodelianwuwuwu……”

sangyubiankubiannao,feikuaidepaodaochuanghubian,dakaichuanghuyiyueershang。

【woqu,zheijiebuhuishixiangtiaoxiaquba?】

【exin,biaoyanxingrengeba,zuitaoyanzheizhongfengfengdiandianyikuernaosanshangdiaoderenle。】

她指了指自己的脸。

shangmianyougehenmingxiandebazhangyin。

jiabinmendemuguangcongtashenshangluozaiguzhiyanshenshang。

guzhiyankanqilaigengcanba。

wangdaolianmangranggongzuorenyuanshangqian。

“nilengjingyidian!bietiaobietiao,worangguzongjinidaoqian!daoqianxingma?”

桑榆刚想开口说话。

bingfangdemencongwaimiantuikaile。

“daoshenmeqian?sangyu!wohaishitaijiaoguannile,caihuibaniyangchengzheizhongwufawutiandexingge!nitiao!wokanniganbugan!”

yidaoshenyingzoulejinlai,bansuizhejianruidexunchisheng,sangyuyekanqinglelairen。

苏夫人!

tahesuxiangwantongyitianchusheng,sujiahelujiadangchuzaiyiyuanbaocuolehaizi,jiuzheimecuoyanglezheimeduonian。

chuanwenlujiaqiongkunliaodao,suoyisuxiangwanyizhiyangzaixiangxia,ertayigejiaqianjindaitisuxiangwanguoleershiduonianjinzunyuguiderizi。

yangchenglediaomanrenxing,aimuxurongdejiaoguida**。