“jiejie，nigenwoyiqibairuzhangqingzongba。”
ningzhiwenshengzhengyan，zhijianyanqianshaonvbaiyiruxue，liumeiruyan，fengmouxiazhang，meixinyouyikehongzhi，ergaoyuyan，biaozhundexiaoshuonvzhulian。
yucitongshi，daliangjiyiyisuipianxingshiyongrutadenaohai。
taxinzhongdunshiyouyiwanpi**bentengerguo。
老天奶啊！
laotianyezhenbatadangsunzishuaa！
tazuoweiyigejijiangbiyededaxuesheng，haoburongyizhaodaoyibenwanjiededanvzhuxiuxianshuangwen，aoyekandaosanfenzhiyifaxianzheishiyibenpizhedanvzhuwaiyidejiaoqiwenxue。
nvzhufengqingchenglizheduliqingxingdanvzhurenshe，jieguomeiciyudaoweixiandoushikaogelutiangouyijinazhelangzihuitoujubendelonghaotiannanzhuzhengjiu，zijigenbenhuajiebule，gaoguangquanzainanxingjiaoseshenshang。
yudaowentizhihuiwubing**，qingxuneihao，genmeizhangzuiyiyang。
zaixiulianziyuanmianqian，zuishangshuozheyaokaoziji，shijishangqianqikaotiangou，houqikaonanzhu，yaoburanjiushigentamenzuduiqutouquqiang，shibushilacainvpeizhuzhuxing，zuihouchenggongfeisheng。
feishengzhishi，buwanglaishangyiju：wodechenggongdoushikaozijinulidelaide。
tiaodaofanwaiyikan，nvzhuweinanzhuxishouzuogengtang，yitaisibao。
真的栓Q！
cuishengyebuyongzheimeshengba！
taxianzaihaichuanchenglechentuonvzhudetongmingedunvpei，yijinvzhuxiuxianlushangdianjiaoshi。
女主白嫖，她白给。
女主闯祸，她背锅。
女主捡漏，她挡伤。
女主飞升，她祭天！
xianzaizheigejiedianzhengshiwunianyicideshoutudahui，fengqingchengdazheweitahaodemingyi，rangtayiqibairuzhangqingzong，zheiyeshi“ta”daomeimingyundekaishi。
zhanzaifengqingchengshenhoudeheiyishaonianyilianyane：
“ningzhi，bieyiweiqingchengjiaoniyishengjie，nizhenbazijidangpancai，nizhibuguoshifengjiadeyangnv。
haiyounideshuihuoshuanglinggensuiranshijipin，dannibiewangle，shuihuobuxiangrong。
ruguomeiyouxilingcaolianzhichengdexilingdan，xiquqizhongyitiaolinggen，yijiushibunengxiuliandefeiwu。”
ningzhikanxiangneiheiyishaonian，lingxinglian，rengaomada，jiroufada，xingrenyanlimanshichaofeng。
zheikebujiushifengqingchengzaoqihaimeiyoubairuzhangqingzongdetiangouzhanglangma？
ningzhi：“aduiduidui，wobushicai，nicaishi。”
zhanglangbeiqideshouzhifadou:“ni……”
fengqingchengmiandaidanyou，tazhandaozhanglangmianqianlianmangquanjie。
“zhangdage，xiexienitiwoshuohua，kezheibijingshiwohejiejiezhijiandeshiqing，worangjiejiegenwoyiqibairuzhangqingzong，shiweilejiejiezhexiang。”
fengqingchengkoukoushengshengshuoweileningzhizhexiang，queyongyuandoubuhuicainaningzhideyijian。
weiguankanxiderenzhidaofengqingchengshibainiannandeyiyuyongyoujipinbinglinggenzhiren，cidengtianjiao，xianzaibujieshi，yihouzhinengyangwang。
yipangyishoulianggenanxiuliangrenduishiyiyan。
pangzinanxiu：“shuojugongdaohua，**meiruciweinikaolv，nibulingqingyejiusuanle，zenmehainanweita。”
shouzinanxiu：“kebushi，youzheimehaodemeimeijiutouzheleba。”
tianshangdegezongzongzhutongshiguanzhuyanqianzheiyimu。
shuihuoshuanglinggenbingfeifeilinggen，zhishizheiliangtiaolinggenxianghupaichi，nengyinqirutidegailvjihuweiling，shaobuliushenjiuhuizibao，suoyicaibeichengweifeilinggen。
zhiyaozhaodaoxilingcaobiannengxiquqizhongyitiaolinggen，xiulianxiangduirongyiwanbei，xinghezongzongzhudeerzijiushiyigechenggonglizi。
jipinlinggenhanjian，jipinshuihuoshuanglinggentongyangshougezongzhengqiang，ruobushizhiqianyuedinghaobunengqiangdizi，zunzhongdiziyiyuan，tamenzaojiukaiqiangle。
wanyuezongzongzhuyanxulvzhekanzhedouji：“zheihaizipabushigeshadeba，doubeibierenmadaotoushangleyebuzhidaofanbo，taneigemeimeiyebuzhidaoandeshenmexin。”
zhangqingzongzongzhuduiyuyongyoujipinbinglinggendefengqingchenghenshimanyi，tayicechulinggenbianxuanzebairutamenzongmen，tingbuleyidiantabeidihui。
“yongyoujipinbinglinggenzhirenxinggedanchun，meimeiyeshiweilejiejiehao，ruoshitajiejieyebairuwomenzhangqingzong，wozongdinghuiweitazhaolaixilingcaoweitaxiquyitiaolinggenzhutaxiulian。”
“biewangle，woercengjingyeshishuihuoshuanglinggen，xianzaixidiaoshuilinggenhou，xiuliankeshiyiriqianli，zhiyaozheihaizibairuwoxinghezong，huiqujiunengweitaxiquyitiaolinggen。”
qitazongmenzongzhuhaixiangzhengbianshangliangju，naihexinghezongzaizheiyifangmianqiangdekepa，tamendaoshihaoqizheigejipinshuihuoshuanglinggendenvwawahuixuanzebairunagezongmen。
ningzhigangchuanguolaihaimeiyouliqingsixu，xianzaibeiyiqunrenweizhezhizhidiandian，tazhixiangmaren。
“爹的个根的。”
cihuayichu，zhouweishunjiananjingxialai，suoyourendouyongqiguaiyanshendingzheta。
ningzhijixudao：“shuojumudaohua，nimenyaoshijuedezijishuodeyouyidingdedaoli，wodebazhangyeyouyidingdeliliang。”
zhouweirenkanzheningzhizheifenbuqingqianmianhaishihoumiandexiaoshenban，fachuchaoxiaosheng。
zhanglangzhangzheshengaoyoushi，jugaolinxiadekanzheningzhi：“you，nandaonihaixiangtiaoqilaidawodexigai？”
“啪——”
bansuizhanglangchaofengshengyinluoxiade，haiyouyishengqingcuidebazhangsheng。
ningzhikandaozhanglangwuzhebeidadelianmanshicuoe，chuilechuiyongliguomengdeshouzhangxin。
“shibushijuedelidugangganghao，mengbibushangnao？”
zhanglangbukezhixinzhizheningzhi：“ningzhi……ni！”
gangcaihaixiaodehenhuandeqitarendunshixiaobuchulaile，zheimeyigeaizijurangantiaoqilaidadakuaitou，tamenbuganduxiayibazhanghuiluozaisheidelianshang。
“何人在此闹事？”
shenchuanlansezongmendizifudezhongniannanxiuchaozheibianzoulai。
ningzhihaimeikaikou，zhanglangheqitaweiguanderentianyoujiacu，yirenyijubagangcaisuofashengdeshiqingshuoleyibian。
“jianzhijiushihunao，ruobushinideshuihuoshuanglinggenshijipinlinggen，xianzaiyijingbeidangzuofeilinggentaotai，**meiweilenihao，nibulingqingbiansuanle，haidongshoudaqitaren，shibubawomengezongzhifafangzaiyanlima？”
“wodangranbufangzaiyanli。”
ningzhicihuayichu，zhouweirendaoxiyikoulengqi。
zhangqingzongzhifadizizhixiangningzhi：“dadan！”
宁知：“大胆！”
两人异口同声。
zhangqingzongzhifadiziquemengle。
“wocongbubagezongmenzhifafangzaiyanli，shiyinweifangzaixinli，ernishenweizhangqingzongzhifadizi，juranzhishibazhifafangzaiyanli，bufangzaixinli，nishihejuxin？”
zhangqingzongzhifadizishensehuangzhang：“wo，wo……”
takandaozhouweirentoulaihuaiyimuguang，jizhongshengzhi。
“nizheishizaizhuanyihuati，buguanruhedougaibianbuleshuihuoshuanglinggenbunengxiuliandeshishi！feiwuzhihuiwunengkuangjiao！”
ningzhiyeqiguai，shuihuoshuanglinggenweishenmebunengxiulian？
youdaoshi，yishenger，ershengsan，sanshengwanwu。
wuxingbaguatuzhong，heibaidaibiaoyinyang，jiduiliyouxiangcun。
weiwuzhuyibianzhengfazaikandaishiwushi，yaokandaoxianghuqubiedeyimian，youyaokandaoxianghulianxideyimian，baliangzheyoujitongyiqilai，yishixianhexiefazhan。
下一秒。
celingguangchangzhouweiyouyuanyuanbuduandishuiyuansuhehuoyuansujulong，xingchengxuanwochaozheningzhishenshangyongru。
zhanzaitashenbianderenganjuedaolingqibodong，dunshimudengkoudai。
“天！天啊！”
“ta！ta，tazheishi……”