第5章 哭晕厕所

“爸?”

gangjiaowan,shoujilijiuchuanlaiwubibaozaodenuhousheng。

“madan,wobushiniba,nicaishiwoba!”

“nigewangbadan,worangnizaizijiagongsiligongzuo。”

“nifeiyaozhuangshisan,qudiwangjituanshangban。”

“haishuoshenme,nibuxianggennidageergexue,kaofubeiyuyinhuozhe。niyaopingzijidebenshichifan。”

“laozibenyiweinizhendeyoushenmebenshi,sheizhi,nitamajingrandezuilediwangjituan。”

“wowangjiazusunsandai,xinxinkukudapinchulaidechanye,jingranbeinigexiaowangbajiquanbuhuile。”

“xiaozi,nijilaozidengzhe,chufeinibuhuilai。”

“fouze,laozibuqinshoukansini,laozijiubuxingwang!”

啪嗒!

wangzihanshoulideshouji,diaozailedishang。

renyeyipi、gudiezuozaidi。

“呜呜呜……”

yebuguanxishoujianlidedibanzangbuzangle,pazaidishang,kudeneijiaoyigeshangxin。

bushuotazaicesuolikuqi,zaishuoshuolinfeng。

linfengconghuisuoligangzouchulai,jiukandaomujunlanbeiyigeyingmianzoulaidepingtounan,lanzhulequlu。

“aiyo,zheimepiaoliangdeyigedameinv,yezenmeyiqianjiumeiyujianguo。”

“meinv,xiangyujiushiyuanfen,lai,genyejinquheliangbei。”

yebuguanmujunlantongbutongyi,zhuazhumujunlandeshouwan,jiuyaochaohuisuolituo。

mujunlanhehuaile,yibianzhengzhazhe,yibianjianshengdajiaodao,“nisheiya,fangkaiwo,jiuminga!”

yangzifenjiandaohaojiemeiyouweixian,lijichongleshanglai。

“zhushou,zaibufangkaita,wokeyaobaojingle!”

“baojing?nizhidaowoshisheima?”pingtounanbuxiedeyidengyan。

“tinghaole,wojiaojinhai,wobashijingang!”

“niyaoshiganbaoxiajing,wotamakansiniquanjia!”

tingdaoduifangmingzi,yangzifenhedeshenzidouledou。

再也不敢多嘴半句。

pangbianjigekanrenaodenannv,yedoushiliansejubian。

“laotian,jingranshibenchengdixiahuangjingangdeerzi。”

“zheimeinvwandanle,jingangerzideshi,sheiganguana。”

“shiya,jinhaibenshenwugongjiuhengaole,doudaolewushijibiele。”

“talaozidewugonggengshiheren,neikeshiwuzongdecunzai。”

“genghekuang,shoulihaiyousanqianxiongdi,sheiganguantadexianshia!”

zhengzaizhengzhademujunlan,tingdaoduifangshidixiahuangdeerzi,dunshiyiliandejuewang。

jingranlianzhengzhadoubuganle,zhishiwuwukuqizhe。

“jinshao,qiuqiuni,zuozuohaoshi,fanglewoba。”

jinhaihenshipiziqidexiaolexiao。

“kusha,yeyoubuhuichileni,zhishirangnijinqupeiyeheliangbei。”

yiyongli,mujunlanbeituodezhuanleyigeshen。

dunshikandaolinfengxianggemutouyiyangzhanzaineili。

xinlizhenshiyouqiyoushiwang。

qiongguijiushiqionggui,chuleaichuiniu,yidiannanrendeqigaidoumeiyou。

jiuzaizheishi,taneiquntongshizoulechulai。

kandaomujunlanbeirenqifu,jirenlijinuhouzhechongleguolai。

“xiaozi,ganshenmede,fangkaita!”

kanzheyiqunchongshanglaidehualinanzi,jinhaibuxiedechaodishanghenhendepeileyikoulaotan。

“pei!yiqunlaji,ganguanqiyedexianshilaile。zhaosi!”

tajiuneimeyizhishoutuozhemujunlan,yingzheneijigenanzichongleshanglai。

砰砰砰!

genbenmeiyongshou,kuaisudejijiaotichu。

jishengcanjiaoxiangqi,qigechongshanglaidenanzi,wugebeijinhaijitifeichuqu。

daozaidishangaiyaaiyadezaiyeqibulai。

haiyoulianggejianshibumiao,jishihoutui,zheicaitaoguoleyijie。

kandaojinhaizhandoulizheimeqianghan,mujunlanlianseyipiancangbai。

kanlai,jintianbeirushizaisuonanmianle。

juewangzhiyu,youkandaolinfenghaishixiangheshaleyiyang,yishengbuxiangdezhanzaineili。

mujunlanyoushiyizhennaonu。

zheigeniupidawang,zhenshibaipileyizhangnanrenpi。

yangta,haiburuyangyizhigou!

zheishi,neilianggemeibeidadaodenanzizhong,yigeaigenanren。

duizhejinhaishuodao:“pengyou,zheiniantouguangshinengdameiyongde。wobaduchengwei,dushijituandelaozong。”

tashenbiandezhangliannanyejiegenzheshuodao:“wobazhaohaicheng,zhaoshijituandelaoban。”

yizhibeidadaodewuren,“tamenmeigeren,doushijiazuxianhedegongzige。”

youyizhibeijinhaizhuazhedemujunlan,“tarengshimushihuazhuangpingongsilaobandezhangshangmingzhu。”

“womenshidabuguoni,danshi,womenzheijijiadeshilijiaqilai。jiushichengshoudoudejijifenbomian。”

shuodaozheili,sihuyouzhaodaolepingshineigaogaozaishangdeganjue。

angleangtou,“suoyi,niruguobuxianghoubanshengdouzailaoliguode,jiujiwofangkaimuxiaojie。”

“zaiguixialaizichouzuiba。”

“choudewomenmanyile,zaitanpeichangdeshi。”

“fouze,houguonichengdanbuqi!”

jinhaiyizhimeiyoushuohua,zhidaozheijiahuobalabaladeshuowan,zheicailenghengyixiao。

“xiaozi,bizhuangwanle?”

“装完该我了!”

“wojiaojinhai,wobajiaojingang。”

zhenshirendeming,shudeying。

yitingshuozheijiahuojiushieshaojinhai,zheixiegangcaizaizailinfengmianqian,jinxianyouyuegandejiahuo,yigegeshenzimengdedouleyixia。

kexiaodeshi,neidaozaidishangdewugenanren,benlaishizhunbeipaqilaide。

cishiyitingdaojinhaierzi,lijizhongxindaolexiaqu,liangyanyibi,zhuangqisilai。

这还不是最可笑的。

zuikexiaodeshi,gangcaihaimanlianjiaoao,rangjinhaiguixialaizichouzuibadezhangliannan。

putongyisheng,zhizhideguilexialai。

“jinge,wocuole,wozuichou,woyouyanbushitaishan。”

“qingjingedarenbujixiaorenguo,yuanliangwoba!”

啪啪啪!

duizhezijidezuiba,henhendechouleqilai。

tashenbiandeaigenan,yegenzheguixialai,butingdezichouqizuibalai。

jinshaoduizhemujunlandeyiyixiao。

“meinv,kankan,kankannijiaodezheixiedanxiaorushudepengyou。”

“gangcaihaizhuangdexiangdayeside,yewoyibaominghao,gegedouhedexiangsunziside。”

“zheizhongren,zhenxinbunengjiaode!”

“yihou,jiuzuoyedenvren,yebaozhengrangnizoudaonali,doushifengfengguangguangde。”

“zou,peiyehejiuqu!”

tuozhemujunlanjixuchaozhehuisuozouqu。

zoudaoguizheliangrendeshenbianshi,taijiaopengpengliangsheng。

suizheliangshengcanjiaoxiangqi,guizhedeliangren,beitifeilechuqu。

luodihou,shuangshuangtuqixuelai。

tuwanxue,liangrenyanjingyifan,genqianmianwurenyiyang,zhuangqisilai。

jinhaituozhemujunlan,zoudaolinfengmianqian。

linfengkanzhejinhai,danrandeshuodao:“jiniyigejihui,fangkaita,ziduanyibei。fouze,si!”

jinhaihemujunlantongshidanu。

jinhaidanu,shiyinwei,yigeqiongguiyexiangzuohuhuashizhe。

mujunlandanu,shiyinwei,doudaozheishihoule,qiongguihaizaichuidaniu。

“laji,jiyesiqu!”

nuheshengzhong,jinhaichaozhelinfengdetoushang,jiushihenhendeyijiaotileguoqu。

tayaoyijiaobaolelinfengdetou,rangsuoyourenkankan。

guantajinhaidexianshi,buzhishitujikouxuezheimejiandan!

suoyoukanrenaoderen,douyiweilinfengkendingtaobuguozheiyijiao。

mujunlangengshiyouqiyoupa。

suirantahentaoyanlinfeng,quecongmeixiangdao,yaolinfengdeming。

jiuzaijinhaidejiao,kuaidaolinfengdetoushangshi。

林峰一拳轰出!

“啊!”

金海一声惨叫。

zhuazhemujunlandeshou,songlekailai。rendaofeilechuqu。

咣!

henhendezhuangzaisanshimikaiwaideyiliangshangwucheshang。

zhijiebaneiliangshangwuchejizhuangfanzaidi。

luodihou,yiranduanleqi。

tadelianshang,chuxueleyigequantoudadexuedong。

neixue,zhengbobodechaowaizhiliu。

咝!

suoyourendoudaoxiyikouliangqi。

quandoumeixiangdao,gangcaihaihedexiangshidaidiaoyiyangdelinfeng,jingranyiquanjiubajinhaijidasile。

yigegedoudengdaleyanjing,sisidedingzhelinfeng。

baokuoneijigezhuangsidejiahuo,yedoubayanjingdengdedadade。yiliandejianguiyang,lianqidouwangjichuanle。