第1章
“啪！啪！”
“laoyenikuaixingxinga！”
lianbuchuanlaiyizhencitong，jiangyuanmengdizhengkaishuangyan，zhangkounumadao。
“niangde！laozijiushimoyuyebuzhiyuaizuibaziba！”
xiayimiao，jiangyuandeyanshenkaishibiandemimang，mengbi，suihoushizhenjing。
fangyanwangqu，zhouweifangwudaotawushu，bushaoshibinghengshizaidi。
“laoyenikesuanxingle，zanmenkuaipaoluba！”gangchoulejiangyuanjigedazuibazidenanrenjidemantoudahan。
jiangyuanyibapaizaiduifangjianbangshang：“wozhidaonihenji,dannixianbieji。”
ronghenaohaizhongdejiyihou，jiangyuankesuanliqinglezhengjianshidelailongqumai。
zijidadishichuanyuele，yuanzhugentatongmingtongxing，jiuliannianlingshengridouyimoyiyang。
danhundequebizijihaoduole，yizuobianchuixiaochengdexianling。
江源是什么？社畜！
genxianlinggenbenjiumeifabi。
tiangaohuangdiyuan,tazaizheiyidaijiushimingfuqishidetuhuangdi。
erjiangyuanshenbianzheiwei，wanggang，shuohaotingdianshijiangyuandehuwei，nantingdianneijiushizhuzhouweinvedezougou，toujimogoudetonghuo。
baqiangtoukanguafuxizaodedianjiaoshi！
danbuguanzenmeyang，zheisihuhenbucuo。
问题是。
jintianmaosishizhaoshiwangchaowangguoxuanbuwangguodediyitian。
ermielezhaoshiwangchaodedaduanwangchaoyijingkaishicongjingchengsichukuosan，zijizheigebianchuixiaochengyijingbeipokaichengmen。
huixiangyifanlishishangneixielunweijiexiaqiudexianling，jiangyuandexiachangkexiangerzhi。
“wozheishishenmeyunqi！”
jiangyuanmamalieliedezhanqishen,yibazhuaizhewanggangdexiuzikaishimentoujiupao。
王刚：“？？？”
“haibupaodengsia！”jiangyuanyouxiechili，wanggangdekuaitoukebuxiao，yimibawudeshengao，jiangjinliangbaijin。
“laoye，neibianshichengmendefangxiang......”wanggangruoruodeshuodao。
“e,shima？”jiangyuanzheicaifanyingguolai，naohaizhongdejiyishushiyouxieduo，tahaimeilaidejixiaohua。
genbenmeizuorenheyouyu，jiangyuanguoduanxuanzexiangfandefangxiangjixupaolu。
dantahaimeipaoliangbu，bianbeishenhoudewanggangzhuileshanglai。
“laoye，nibiepaole，qianmianshinanchengmen，niyuepaosideyuekuaia。”
jiangyuanbudandingle，tazhuantouyibazhangpaizaiwanggangtoushang：“nitaniangderenshiluma？”
“renshishirenshi，keniyemeiwenwoa。”wanggangyifushouletiandaweiqudeyangzi。
jiangyuandunshiqibudayichulai，doushenmeshihoule，zaibupaoxiaomingdoumeile，nihaiweiqushangle。
“快点带路！”
wanggangnaozhetou，xiaoshengwendao：“laoye，niquedingrangwodailu？”
“feishenmehua，rangnidailujiudailu！”jiangyuanqibudayichulai，zheidoushenmeshihoule，huayetaiduoledian。
wanggangbukuishibendiditoushe——jiangyuandeshuxia，henkuaibiandaizhejiangyuancuanjinyitiaoxiaoxiangzi，yiluqiguaibaraopaochuquhaojilidi。
“mandian！mandian，wobuxingle。”jiangyuandakouchuanzhecuqi。
wanggangzheijiahuoshixiwuzhiren，shentihaodebuxianghua，ertazheifushentideyuanzhurenbuguoyijiewenruoshusheng，zaojiuyaojianchibuzhule。
liangrengangtingxialai，jiangyuankanlekanzhouweidehuanjing，haimeidengtahuankouqi，dimianturanchuanlaiyizhenzhendong。
“zheishi......dizhenle？”jiangyuanhuagangshuowan，qianwangdexiangzikouturancuanchuyiduiqibing。
“那边有人！”
“qiaozhexianggedangguande，naxiazaishuo！”
jishengdahehou，liangmingqizhegaotoudamadeshibingshouchizhangqiangjiuchongleguolai。
“我勒个擦！”
“nizheidaideshishenmelu？！”
huayingangluo，jiangyuandeshentiyijingxiaoshizaiyuandi。
zaishengmingdeweixiexia，tabaofachulejingrendeqianli。
danzheizhongqianliyaokangensheibi，jihuzhuanshunjianwanggangbianzhuileshanglai。
“laoye，niwanglewosuiranrenshilu，bufendongnanxibeideshiqingle？wohainamennizenmerangwodailuni。”
jiangyuanbiezhedeyikouqishunjianpogong，burenshilunibuzaoshuo，laozizaowansinishouli！
踏踏踏！
shenhoudematishengyijingjiejin，meidengjiangyuanzaitiqiyikouqi，tamianqianheranchuxianyibazhangqiang。
“pao？ninengpaodaonaliqu。”zuozaimashangdeshibingdaizhejifenchaofengdexiaorongkanxiangjiangyuan。
jiangyuanyipiguzhijiezuozaidishangdakouchuanzhecuqi，bupaole，zaipaomeibeishasiyeleisile。
“laoyedishangliang。”wanggangtiexindeyaochanfuqijiangyuan。
kanzhewanggangshenguolaideshoubei，jirougaogaoguqi，liliangganshizu。
jiangyuanxinzhongzaiciranqiyisixiwang：“wanggang，zheilianggejiahuo，ninengdadeguoba？”
“fangxinbalaoye，dazheilianggerenqingeryiju！”wangganghaobukeqidekaikoudao。
“hao！batamenlianggerengxialai。”jiangyuandangjifabuhaoling。
xianqiangma，huhuanyifu，hunjinjundui，chenjitaopao，jimiaozhongdeshijianjiangyuanxinzhongyijingxianghaolesuoyoudejihua。
dabulepaochuquyihouhuangyeqiusheng，suirankuledian，danzongbidiudiaoxingmingqiang。
wanggangmeiyourenheyouyu，zaitaxinzhong，jiangyuanjiushitianhuanglaozi，tashuodehuajiushishengzhi。
zhijiantanuheyisheng，zhangkaishuangshoubaikaijiashi，shiyilanzaiqianfangdeshibingqianlaijingong。
neimingshibingyanshenmihuoleyixia，suihoumobuzuoshengdejuqishoubei，yizhangbangzaishoubeishangdenujianlianglechulai。
“来来来！”
“nixiaozihenlihaima？wodaokankanninengkangzhuwozheipaolejianxuefenghoudenujianjixia！”
年轻人不讲武德！
jiangyuandangjizhanleqilai，wanggangkebunengsi，tasilezijijiuzhenwuyiwukaole。
danjiangyuangangzhanqilai，biankandaowanggangyijinglaolaoshishibaozhetoudunlexiaqu。
“......”
jiangyuanshihuabantian，bushi，zheidaodishishenmerenazheishi？
“laoye，nibushijiaowohaohanbuchiyanqiankuima？”wanggangzhabazheshuangyan，xiaoxinyiyideshuodao。
delei，zheixiasuanshichediwanduzile。
jiangyuanyaozhetoutanzheqidundaoleyipang。
meiguoduojiu，yimingshenchuanwuzhangzhishikaijiadezhongnianrenzouleguolai。
“zheiliangxiaozihaitingnengpaoma。”zhongnianrenxianshidiaoxiaoyisheng，suihouhaobukeqidejuqizhangqiangzhixiangjiangyuan。
“you！zheiyifu，zheibuxiantaiyema？zenmenengdunzaizhei，zheizenmexing！”
nandaoshuoyoudaifulu？zheikeshigehaozuofenga！
jiangyuanxinzhongzaiduranqiyisixiwang。
qiliaozhongnianrensuishourengchuyikunshengzi：“haibukuaibangqilaisongdaodajiangjunneiliqu。”
liangmingshibinghenkuaitiaoxiamalai，jiangjiangyuanliangrenkunlegejiejieshishi。
jiangyuanlianshangdaizhekuxiao，chuanyueguolaihaimeiyigexiaoshia，zheijiuyaoguale，zijikongpashichuanyuezhezhongsidezuikuaidedaomeidanle。
neimingshibingshouzhonglinzheshengzizhongxinzuohuimashang，zhuantouchongzhejiangyuanlengxiaodao：
“县太爷，请吧！”