yinweiyenainaihaiyoushigenyechenchenjiaodai,suoyiyechenchenjiangwosongdaolukouhouyongwodeshoujijiaoleyiliangche,dingzhulejijujiuxianhuiqule。
meiyihui,wojiutingdaolelabasheng。
dingjingyikan,yiliangchepaihaomawei‘haig54388’dejichengchezhenghuanhuanchaowoshilai。
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pinghuanxingshidecheliangxiangshiyaolan,rangworenbuzhuhunhunyushui。
beibaojiaxianzhetengleyigewanshang,wozaojiuyijingkundaolejidian。
jiashangjingheguodu,zhongyushichengbuzhule。
jiuzaiwomizheyanjiameideshihou,chezituranhaowuzhengzhaodechazhu。
“shifu,zenmele?”woyonglijiangzhongzhangdeyanpichengkai。
“出车祸了!”
sijideshengyinhendanmo,sihaotingbuchurenheqifu。
chuyuhaoqi,wowangxiangchuangwai。
zhijianluduandezuoqianfangyiliangchuzuchebeiliangliangzhongkajizailezhongjian,yijingyanzhongbianxing。
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zhenggantanshengmingwuchangdeshihou,wodeshoujituranxiangqi。
“ninhao,qingwenshishenanannvshima?”
“是,你哪位?”
“ninhao,woshi‘didadi’dacheruanjiandekefuzhuanyuan!yinweijinipaiqudechezizaituzhongzaoyulechehuo,suoyigongsijiangnindedanzhuanjilelingwaiyimingsiji,qingninzaiyuandidengdaijike!”
kefudehua,rangwoshunjianjingxing。
接我的车出了车祸?
kewomingmingyijingshanglechea!
xiangdaozhei,wodunshiyouxietoupifama。
“qingwen……chushideneiliangchechepaihaomashiduoshao?”
wozuanjinshouji,jiangyindiaodiaodaozuidi。
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海G54388?!
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见鬼了!
这回是真的见鬼了!
叶奶奶说的没错!
wokaileyinyangyanchenglezhaoyinti!
“nishiwoshengqiandezuihouyidan,woyidingjiangnisongdaomudedi!”
jiuzaiwodanaoyipiankongbaideshihou,sijituransiqichenchendekaikou。
tadeshentiyidongbudong,naodaiquezhuanle180°。
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xiangjiao,quegenbenbuganjiao。
bijingshidiyiciyugui,yousongyoucaiyoumeijingyan。
yuanbenshixiangyaoguzuozhendingde,kedangchezijingguojianzhendaideshihou,sijideshentigenzheyizhan,suijitadetianlinggaizhijiediaolexialai!
呜,我尿急!
“duibuqi,hedaonileba?”
jiuzaiwoshuangtuizhiduosuodeshihou,sijihurantongguohoushijingduishangwodeshixian。
“没……没关系!”
“ai,meixiangdaozheimerongyijiudiaole!”
“nian……nianjidaguzhishusongshihenzhengchangde!”
“neimafanni,bangwobanaoqiaojianqilai!”
什么?
捡脑壳!
kanzhesiji‘zhencheng’deyanshen,woyouyupiankezheicaiyingzhetoupishenchulianggenshouzhi,yongzhitoujianjianxiaoxinyiyideniezhunaoqiao。
“nihaorenzuodaodi,bangwoanshangquba!”
gangjiangnaoqiaodidaosijidemianqian,taturansiqichenchendekaikou。
我想拒绝!
但是不敢!
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sijisixiaofeixiaodeshuolezheimeyijuhou,chemen‘ka’yishengzidongdakai。
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baojiaxianyinzhejunqiaodelian,yanshenzhongbumanleyaneheshaji。
wozhangzhezuixiangyaobianjie,keqiguanquebeiqiasile。
yushiwozhizhezijidebozi,shijingdeyaotou。
baojiaxianculecumeitou,zheicaixingxingdejiangshousongkai。
“xianjia,raoming!”wogubudechuanqi,paqilaiganjinketou。“sushetiaojianyouxian,woyijingjinlile!”
dongbudongjiuqiabozi,tayoubaoliqingxiangma?
“nilaigaosubenxian,zheishishenmedongxi?”baojiaxianzhizheshanzheguangdedianzilazhu,yanshenyinleng。
“dian……dianzilazhu!”wozhanzheshengjieshi,“susheliburangdianminghuo!”
“与本仙何干?”
baojiaxiannuheyishengyiquanzaxiangqiangbi,shunjianzhenggesushedouyaohuangqilai。
dengzhizhuwangbandeliehencongtadequanxiamanyandaozhenggeqiangmiandeshihou,wohedesesefadou。
woquedingzheihuoyihouhuijiabao!
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woderangtazhidaoshiqingdeyanzhongxing!
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“neizheigeniyouzenmejieshi?”
turan,wodehounaoshaobeiyibaezhu。
baojiaxianqiangxingtaiqiwodetou,sisideanzaiqiangshangdehongbushang。
“shangmianxiedeshishenme?”
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“siyatou,nizhaosi!”
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哪错了?
zheishiyenainaijiaowoxiede,yigezidoubudaichade!
nandaoshixianwodezixiedechou?
“zhongjian!”baojiaxianjiazhongshoushangdelidao。
“仙家之位!”
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“xianjiayemeigaosuwonindezunxingdamingya!”wokukujiji。
不讲理的狗东西!
dengmoqingnidezhenshenyidingmieleni!
“放肆!”
nanrennuheyishengsongkaiwo,erhouturantaiqidashou。
yankanzheneihouzhongdebazhangjiuyaoshanxiangwo,woxianyibusisidebaozhuletadegebo。
“xianjia,wocuole!ninyaoshidasiwo,jiumeirenbaininle!”
“撒开!”
“不,我不!”
开玩笑!
yitadelidao,nengyibazhangnenghudiaowonaodai!
“宁炔!”
jiuzaiwohaoburongyijichujidiyanleideshihou,baojiaxianturanlenglengdekaikou。
“neishi……”woqieshengshengdewangzhebaojiaxian,“xianjiademingzi?”
“haibujibenxianxieshangqu!”
“haohaohao,wozheijiuxie!”
“jizhule!meifengchuyi、shiwu,sanyuesan、jiuyuejiudouyaojibenxianshangxiang!haiyou,gongpinbixuyaoyoujiuyourou!fouze,benxianjiunanidangchengxiajiucai!”
ranhouyinweigongpinbuhao,dangtianwanshang,wohaishibeitayazaichuangshangtanleyiyejianbing,meiqimingmeiyougongpin,jiuxianshanggongwozijijita。
……