第1章

youpuleyiben,zaijiezaili!

guanzhonglaoye、**dajiahao,nulixuexixiezuozhong,youshenmexiedebuduidedifanghuanyingzhidian。

帅哥签到。

靓女签到。

kanshuqiannaozikeyixianrengle。

hetiezhuzuomengyemeixiangdao,zijijingranyouyitianhuichuanyue。qianyimiaotahaizaidailingduilidejigeshujiagongzaimoyanggong,meixiangdaoxiayimiaorenmeile。

zuoweiyimingchuguozhuanyuanzidewaidiziyouzhiyerenyuan,tazuoshoushaohuogun,youshoucaidao。zheixieniantayilucongdongkandaoxi,zuijinyouzaibayidalinshigong,zheshihenzhuanleyiba。

zhengzaitahuanxiangzheicijieshuhoudaiyuanzihuiguoyanglaodeshihou,yimeiasanjiadetiebingzhunquewuwudejizhongleta。

“tanainaide,zaogaishoushoude,cao!”

laibujihouhui,tadeyishiyijingxiaoshi。

zuoweiyiminglinshigong,tamendouyouzijidexingyecaoshou,dawanshoulidehuashengmijiuxiaban,chufeiqianjigou,yaoburansheijinimaiminga!

laowaizhaodaotaneizhendeshijiandaobaole,rangtamenzhidaoshenmejiaomoyuhunrizi。yifenqianyifenhuo,yigeyueyiwanmijin,sheitamejinimaiminga!

tazuomengyemeixiangdaodeshiduimianderenbujiangwude,zheimemeiyouxiaxian,lianasandepolanhuoyexiadeleshou,bupazhadaozijima?

zheimeibengaichuxianzaitaqianmianbailaimibaozhadetiebing,jingranyiwaijizhongleta。yidianguijudoubujiang,zheizhongwuguizewuqiyenashanglezhanchang,haishuozijishiyouqianren,zhenshidaolexuemeile。

hetiezhuzheihuihouhuiyelaibujile,zaikongzhongkanzhezijizhilingposuideshenti,yuanlairensihouzhendeyoulinghun。

“shenshangshijiyidechaopiao,zheixiaquanbubianyihexiaozhule,zijiyitianfudoumeixiangshoudao。yongbiele,qinaideanan、qiqi、sisi、jingjing、meimei、jiaojiao、ruoxi、cc、yaoyao、xinxin、susu、yuanyuan、xiaolan、xiaoxue、xiaoya、feifei、lingling、qianqian、nannan、xiaojing、weiwei、nana、yanzi、rongrong、shuangshuang、xiaodan,lili……dengwoxiangxianghaiyoushei!”

zhengzaitaxiangzhezijizheixienianbangzhuguodemeizihezheigeshijieyongbiedeshihou,dishangyigeyuhulumomodexishouletadexueye,sanfachuyizhenbaiguang,batadelinghunxilejinqu。

“哒咩~!”

hetiezhucanjiaoyisheng,tianxuandizhuan,dengtazhongxinhuifuyishideshihou,renyijingdaoleyigemoshengdefangjian。zijitangzaiyizhangchongmanhanchoudechuangshang,chuangshangdewupindouchongmanlewuziheyougou,yijingwanquankanbuqingtabenshendeyanse,quandousanfazheechoudeqixi。

hetiezhuzhoulezhoumei,xiayishideshenshouroubizi。turan,tadedongzuotinglexialai,yanshenzhigougoudekanzhezijicucaodeshouzhang,ganshoudaozijishenshanghuoredewendu,tashenshoumoxiangxinzang,yikenianqingqiangyoulidexinzangzhengzaiputongputongdetiaodongzhe,tayouhuoguolaile。

“woyouhuole?zheishinaer?”

zhengzaitayihuozijimingmingyijingsile,weishenmeyouhuoguolaideshihou。naozilituranchuanlaiyizhenjutong,zhongduodejiyipianduanxiangnishiliuyiyangyongrudaotadedanao。

weishenmeyaoshuoshinishiliu,neishiyinweizheigujiyishiwujuxidelianxiaoshihouniaokuzideshidouchuanjitale。

hetiezhumozhezijidelianshangxixudehuzha,meixiangdaoyouyitiantajingranhuichuanyuechengheyuzhu。

tongguojiyitayixiazijiugaoqingchule,zijizheishichuanyuedaolechuanshuozhongdeqinmansiheyuan。zheibuguochanqinggandazuotazaiguowaiyeshiyousuoerwen,haiteyizhaolaikanguo。

zhengbujulijiushihaoxindedaye,rexindelaonainai,shanliangdeguafuhedafangdeta。jiejuyinihaowohaodajiahaodexingshijieshu。

quanchengqifushazideshidajiadouzangzheyezhe,maitouzhanbianyi,doushuotashigehaoren,qitadeyijuhuayebushuo。

“呵忒~!”

yikoulaotansuiyidetuzaidishang,hetiezhufanshenpaqilai,zhaolemianjingzikanlekanzijideyangzi。

yizhanghanhoulaoshidemiankong,cuguangdegaodadeshenqu,lingluandehuxu,younidefaxing,haiyoushenshangyishenyouzangyoulatadeyifu,suoyoudeyiqiedouranghetiezhuxinliyouxiebupingheng。jiuzheifuzhangxiang,zijinengshuaitashibatiaojiehaiyoudesheng,chuanyuedaotashenshangzhenshizaoniea!

haozaishenqianglizhuanghaiguodequ,zijiyebushishazhu,yihougaichichi,gaihehe。yigedananrenhainengbeigeguafuqifu,zhenshixiaohua。

“ai,haosiburulaihuozhe,choudianjiuchoudianba!duozhuandianqian,gaiyoudedouyou!”

zixiquerenzijishizhendehuoguolaizhihou,hetiezhucaiyouxinsixiangqidaizijichuanyuedehulu,haijidezijidejiyizuihoubeiyizhenliangguangjixijinhulude,xiangdaozheili,talikezhaoleqilai。

“我葫芦呢?”

neikemuzhidadeyuhulushitazailaobabeisuoweidebatiexiongdiyibabaiyuanrenminbidegaojiamaihuilaide。batiexiongdicongbukengwairen,zhuankengneizhongshahuhudeshenmedouxindehaoxiongdi,yinweiwairentamenkengbudao。

yaobushidangchukanzheidongxiyouyanyuan,tadoulandemai。dangchuguangjiekandaozheigemuzhidadeyuhulu,batiehaoxiongdizhijiekaijiayiwanbaqianbabaibashiba,taguishishenchadebaolegebabaidejiagewentamaibumai。jieguobatiexiongdishengpatafanhui,erhuabushuozhijiemaijita,zuihoujiuzheimemaixialaile。

zhengzaitaxiangzhezheishideshihou,naohaizhongchuxianleyigenongchangjiemian,limianyangguangpuzhao,gaoshanliushui,xiaoheliutang,qingqingcaoyuan,youshanyoushuiyoudahai,limiannenggouzhongzhiguaguoshucai,yangzhigezhongshengchu。

shanshanghaiyouyizuonongjiaxiaoyuan,limianyouduanzaotaihe**tai,keyidazaowuqihegongju,zhizaogezhongwupin。

pangbianhaiyoushangdianhuishou、qianghua、xiangqian、fumo、shoumai、shangdianxuanxiang,kanqilaijiuyouyizhongqinqiedeweidao。

kandaoqianghuaxiangqiangenfumo,hetiezhuwenbuyongwen,zheiwanyikenshiguochande,chuleguonei,waimianyinggaizuobuchuzheimeheixindewanyile。

“**,牛掰!”

hetiezhunapajingliguodadaxiaoxiaojinbaichangzhandou,moleshijiniandeyu,yebeiyanqiandeyimusuozhenjing。

kaiguoguadedouzhidao,chuan**yuebuzhongyao,bianchengsheiyebuzhongyao,zhongyaodeshiyoumeiyougua,zheigeguahaobuhaoyong,yaobuyaohuaqian,tazheigemuqianjiuganjuezheigeguafeichangdebucuo,yikanjiushichongqianjiubianqiang,feichangshihetazheizhongchenggongrenshi。

zhengsuoweibukaiguaderenshenghaowuyiyi。yigewaigua,rangtashunjiantingzhileyaogan。

“yihouyouhaoriziguole,hahahaha!”

hetiezhuduozaifangjianlidaxiaojisheng,xiaozhexiaozhejiukuleqilai,tahaoxiangmeiqianle,zhishengxiajialiqibabaikuaiqian,shengxiadequanbeijiajia“jie”zoule!

“wuwuwuwu,weishenmeyaochuanyue,mingmingyouguale,rangwoyuandifuhuobuhaoma?”

xiangqizijishangbeizidecunkuanhe“hongyanzhiji”,haiyoulaojiadedabieshu,tajiurenbuzhuxiangku。

yuanbentadoujihuahaole,buguanzheibiandadezenmeyang,niandihuijiajiehun。

xifutadouxuanhaole,yigeshijiusuidedayinvsheng,piaoliangdehen,cailiqiandoujileyibaiwan,huiqutajiugangmanershi,jiuzaitashengrineitianlingzhengjiehun,yitianyebulangfei。

zheixiayoubuzhidaobianyinagezaolaotouzi,shuobudinghaiyaobeihexiaozhujieshou。

干!操蛋的人生!

buzhishiershiduopingdefangzitaixiaole,haishitadekushengtaida,shengyinrangwaimianderenjitingdaole,yigeshengyinchuanlejinlai。

“zhuzi,nizailimianganshani?tingzheishengyingaibuhuishikuleba?haishiniyouqingyouyi,buguoniyebietaishangxin,dongxudeshisheiyebuxiangzheiyangde,zheidoushitademing。rujinshiqingjiranyijingfashengle,womenhaishiyaojianqiangzhenzuo,chulihaotadehoushicaixing!”

wuwaideshengyinhunhou,daizheyisiguanqiangweier,shigezhongnianrenshengyin。

shunzhenaohaizhongdejiyi,hetiezhuyixiazijiuxiangqilai,zheishengyinshisiheyuanyidaye。

shangxin?taketaishangxinle,naohaizhongjintiandejiyikaishifuxianzainaohai。

jintianyidazao,gangshangbandejiadongxuzaishengchanchejianjiubeigongjianyasi,zhengzaichufanghechadeshazhubeiyidayejiaoguolaibangmang。

mangqianmanghoudelaihuipao,xianshijiaojiashuguolai,ranhouyougenxudamaobarentailehuilai,youbeiyidayefenfuzuofan。

leilebantiandeshazhuduozaiwulixiuxileyihuier,xiangqiyihoukeyiheqinguafumeixiumeisaodezaiyiqi,zhijiejiulesile。