第1章
开局傻厨子
“wopei！shazhu！woyaojizheidaoyanjidaopian！”
diannaoqianyibianzhuijudeheyuzhuzhenshiyuekanyueqi：
zheihezigetongmingdenanzhujiao，heyuzhu，jianzhijiushigedashazi！
yaobushiyinweitongming，tayebuhuidui《qingmansiheyuan》zheibudianshijuyeduolexieguanzhu，yizhizhuidaodajieju。
keshibuzhuihaihao，yizhuitajianzhiyaobeizheigelimiandeheyuzhuqisi——rensha，qianduo，beirenwan！
mingmingshiyigeyoufangyougongzuoyoujishudedahaoqingnian，yingshengshengdebeimansiheyuanderendaodebangjia，jiqinhuairuyangjiayangwadangtiangou。
qinhuairudaoshitingnengsuanji，jiandaoshazhurenshaqianduobuaijijiao，tajiu“xihuan”renjia，keshizheizhongjiyuxianshitiaojiandexihuan，genxianzaidewanghongxihuangandieyouqubiema？
qinhuairusuandeqishikejingle，zongranzigehaizizhanbianyi，haideshazhuqubudaolaopo，rangrenjiabangzigeshanyanglaorenfuyanghaizi，zuihoubazhanrenjiadeqianhefangzi，jiangshazhuzheibeizidousuanjideqingqingchuchu！
guanjianshimansiheyuanderendoujuedeqinhuairushigehaonvren！
daoyanbianjuzheimeanpai，dabufenguanzhongyejiupaishoujiaohao！
可是确实如此吗？
qinhuairujiushigexinjinv！yizhidiaozheshazhubushuo，haijiangtawandetuantuanzhuan，jitazigedangniuzuoma！duishazhuyeconglaiyemeigehaolianse！
heyuzhujuededianshijulideqinhuairushigexinjinvliyouyousan：
yi，qinhuairuconglaimeiyouzhengyankanguoshazhu，napashitadacaihuilaibangzhuqinhuairuyijia，qinhuairufancaizhaochi，ganxiedehuadoumeiyouyiju，fanershishuorenjiabuqianzui！
zheitemeshenmeluoji？renjiabuqianzui，zadi？qianni？niqinhuairujiushigetianxian，feiderangrengongzhe？
er，shazhudegongziquanna，yifenqiandoubujisheng，keshirenjiazhuanwaikuaimaidedianshi，meikanjiujibanzoule！gengbieshuohoumianzhuandaqiandeshihou，jiqinerzidadianhuadoumeiqian！
zheishenmenvren？xixueguiba？
san，haoburongyiba，zheiqinhuairushuoyaogenshazhuzaiyiqile，keshinidaoshipenga！shuoshiyinweierzi，yingshengshengdetuozhe，haiburangrenjiashazhuzhaonvren！feidehaozherenjia！
zheijianzhijiushizhadaojizhidexinjinva！
yiweidizuotiangou，tiandaozuihouzigefandaoshiyiwusuoyou！
shazhuduiqinhuairuyijiahaodetiexintiefei，qinhuairuyijiakedoumeibashazhudangzuojialiren！
kankantamenyijiazuodeexinshier：
yidayepashazhumeirensongzhong，sihuobutongyishazhulihun；
qinhuairupopoyizhiduishazhulengbizilvyanjing，zhidaohoumianfaxianshazhushizhenbazigedangqinmagongzhe；
qinhuairudezinvgengshibaiyanlangsa，buguanshenmehaochudoushiqinhuairuweixian，yaoqianhuozheyudaokunnan，jiuzhaoshazhu！
zongzhi，qinhuairuzenmekandoubushiliangpei，fanershilouxiaoepiaoliangnengganyoupoli，conglaimeiyouyinweizigeyoukunnanjiuqusuanjihedaodebangjiashazhu！
keshizheiyangyigehaoguniang，queduzishengxiahaizi，fanershiqinhuairuzheimegejingyusuanjideguafuzhanjinbianyi！
zheinalishi《qingmansiheyuan》，jianzhijiushi《taolusiheyuan》！
气啊！
heyuzhuqidezhichuopingmu：“yaowoshiheyuzhu！wotamacaibuhuihuochengzheigeguiyangzi！”
“haode！xitongyiqidong......”
suizheyidaobaiguangshanguo，dengdaoheyuzhuzaicizhengkaiyanjing，yijingchuanzheyishenbaisechushiyifuzhanzailechufangzhizhong。
naohaizhongjiyikaishifanyong！
dengtaxiaohuawanquanbudejiyihexinxi，tacairenbuzhumaleyijuguoma：
zige，jingranchuanyuedaole《qingmansiheyuan》，chengweilejuzhongdeheyuzhu！
erxianzai，zhengshiyijiuliuwunian！
“ninyichengweiheyuzhu！qinghuochunindejingcai！”
baiguangzuihoushanxianchulai，chedixiaoshi。
何雨柱懵了：
来真的？
wozhendechengweileheyuzhu？
woyaoweizigeerhuo！wocaibuyaoshenmeqinhuairu！
不对！
laozibujinbuyaoqinhuairu，haiyaofankeweizhu，yizhaozhunshijijiudeexinyifanta！
heyuzhuwangzhetiankonglianshangluchuwunaidebiaoqing，xiangdao《qingmansiheyuan》zhongshazhudebeicuizaoyu，zaikankanxianzaidechujing。
唉......
xiangzheshazhumeiyuesanshiqikuaiwudegongzi，xianzaiyejiuliuxialeyibailaikuaiqian，zhenshimeijigeqianna！
shenweidisanyagangchangshitangdeyimingchushi，shazhujingchangcongshitangdabaobushaohaochidedaihuisiheyuanjiqinhuairu，bangzhugaishantamenyidajiazideshenghuo，kemeicidoubeiqinhuairulehehezhijiejisouguaganjing，huiquweiletajiadeyiqunbaiyanlang，liujishazhudedongxishenzhidoubugoutayigerenchide，yizhizaifuchucongweiqiuhuibao，kexianzaimeimeihuixiangdaoneizhongqingjing，heyuzhudouhuiganjueweilizuoou，nanguaibeirenchengweishazhu，zheiyiqiedoushizitaomeiqu！
zhendegandaohuiqi，zhentemejiushiyigehuotuotuodexinjinv，gundanbaqinhuairu！
xianzaimansiheyuanderen，nengrangheyuzhuzhenxinshiyidexianghaohaoduidaiderenyezhiyousange。
diyigebianshilongerlaotaitai，yejiushishazhudenainai。
qicishilouxiaoe，keshirujinlouxiaoeyijingjiajixudamaozheizhongdaomaoanrandeweijunzidanglaopo，yejiubuhuizaiquxiangzheishi。
zuihouyigejiushizijiadeqinmeimeiheyushui。
youyushazhuzheimejiuyilaigesanchawudeduiqinhuairuyijiarendetebiezhaoliao，zijiazheigemeimeiheyushuiyuqinhuairuyijiarenguanxichudeyehenbucuo。
bunengzairangzijiademeimeizaihulihutulikaizheijia，derangzigedemeimeimingbaiqinhuairuzheiyijiazidechouezuilian，suiranshazhudemeimeiheyushuixianzaihaizaidugaosan，jiazhiguanhaizaiweiwanquanxingcheng，danrujingaishishihougaijiuzhengyixiatadesixiang，zhishaoderangqinhuairucongzijiadefangzilijuanpugaigunchuqu。
zhengdangheyuzhuxiangdaocikezhishi，hurandanaoyipianweimang。
heyuzhudangchangdoulengzhule，zheichurenyiliaodezhuangkuang，rangtashunjiangandaotouyunmuxuan，shanyaodidong。
yihuierdegongfuzhihouheyuzhucaizhujianhuangguoshenlai，zigejingranshenchuyuyigeheiqiqideyichangkongjianzhinei。
zhishimiaoleyiyan，jiandaojiaodixiazheiyidapiandehuitudi，heyuzhuzuoweiyigecongxiaoshancunzouchulaiderenyiyanjiukandehenmingbai，zheipiantudizuishaoyouyimu。
dayuezhangsanshiduomi，kuanershiduomi，feichangjuda。
yimuduodetudi，zheikeshi666pingfangmia！
zaizheiyimudizhiwaidedifang，heyuzhuwufakanqingyuanchudeyiqie，neilidaizheyiguhundunbuqingdedanlvsewuqi。