第1章 穿成傻子了

ershiyishiji,wangluodaitibaozhi,gengkuai、gengzhun、genghendichuanbozhegeleixiaoxi。

‘xxshishizhangcusijiazhong,jingfangsuihouzaiqizhusuosouchuliangyixianjin,ruoganfangchan!’

‘xxfuhaobeibaobaoyangshushiqingfu,zhengpaifurenzhaokaijizhehui!’

‘zhenjing,xxmingxinghuiyingzhengrong,yuanyinjingranshiweizheige!’

putiangaididejingbaobiaotizaipingmushanggundong,gushuzhishidandandisaoguo,shubiaoxiahua,tiaoleyitiao‘nizaima?’debiaotidianlejinqu。zhijieladaodibu,guoranruwangqiyiyang,fanglejiugonggeshuziyouxi。

tashiyiming‘qingsaogong’,fuzeqingchu‘haichong’。

也就是杀手!

qishi,shashoubingmeiyouchuanshuozhongneiyangshenmi。

biruneiweicusideshizhang,buguoshitagekongshelegenxizhenjintadenaozili,jincieryi。

gushushiguer。beishashouzuzhicongxiaoyangdade,shisuijiukaishizuojiandandeansharenwu,daoxianzaiyijingershisui,zhongyucongxijiaobihunchengledajieda。

zuzhiyibantongguozheigexinwenjitafarenwu。

youxijiechulai,midiyicishi33、2、2;6、8、17。

tazhualeyibaluanzaozaodetoufa,congshuduilichouchuyiben‘shashoudeziwoxiuyang’。

“sanshisanye,dierxing,diergezi,shigu。”

“diliuye,baxing,shiqigezi,shu?”

kanzhezhangyawuzhuadelianggezi,gushulengleliangmiao,suijinaqizijidelaogudongnuojiya,anxiatonghuajian。

dianhuajietong,“gulizhu,niwanwoni?”

dianhualichuanlainvziyaoraodeshengyin,“yourenxiadan,erqiekaichudejiagegougao,weishenmebunengjieni?”

“nishuoyourenmaiwodeming?”gushubukezhixinditigaoleshengyin。

buzushipingdebizefangjianli,huidangzhetadeshengyin,“zenmekeneng?wodeshenfenchulezuzhimeirenzhidao,genghekuang……”

taturanyishidaoleshenme,“shizuzhiyaowosi?”

dianhuaneitoudenvzifangshengdaxiao,“nianzaiwomengongshiduonian,worangnisigemingbai。”

“shizhangdeshitibeisongqujiebaole,nidarutatineidezhenkendinghuibeijianchachulai,tagegeshiguoandelaozong,yaoshibeiguoanchanshang,zuzhidesunshideyouduodaniyeqingchu!”

gushuxinliyizhenbeiliang,“suoyi,nimenjiuyaoxishengwo,budui……zuzhijiranjieleshengyi,yidinghuijiangdianzidebeijingdiaochaqingchu,shini!”

gulizhuxiaodao:“wodeshameimei,niguoranhencongming,jiushiyinweinizheifencongming,suoyiwochuchubeiniyayitou。queshishiwojinifangdejiaxiaoxi,nibusi,wojiuyaoyibeizibeiniyadesiside!”

cishicike,gushubuzhidaozijishigaihen,haishigaixiao!

hengulizhujueqingbeipan,haishixiaozijitianzhen,jingranbatadangchengqinjiejielaiduidai!

gulizhudechangkuangdexiaoshengcongshoujilichuanlai,neiyangdeyixiaozhang,“shanggeyue,nideshoujibushinahuijidiweixiuma?woqinshouzailimiananzhuanglexinxingzhadan,ernigangcaibotongwodedianhua,jiushiqidonglezhadan。”

“nideshijian,zhishengxiasanmiaole!”

gushuchijing,lianmangjiangshoujidiulechuqu,fanshenqukaimen。

neitiemennianjiushixiu,buyidakai。tahaoburongyijiangmendakaile,shenhouyizhen‘honglong’shengxiang,zhenggerenyijingbeidanfeichuqu。

gushujuedezijihunshendegutoudoubeirenchaisanle,qiansuoweiyoudeteng!

tadenaozilixiangzhegulizhu,manqiangbeifenyanguoletengtong。

huran,yigejianjiandeshengyinchuanrutadenaohai。

“daomeidexingyuneryo,nidiaode,shizheigejingmingnaozipeilangxingoufeizhangmingbaisuini?haishizheigeyuchunnaoguapeiquexinshaofeiduanmingyaozheni?”

shenshangmeiyipianroufangfodouzaibeirensichezhe,gushuchenjinzaimantiandetongchuli,meiyoulihuineigeshengyin。

neigeshengyinchenmoleyihuier,youshuoleyibian。

“滚!”

zheici,gushulenglengdisongleneigeshengyinyigezi。

neigeshengyinzaicichenmoleyihuier,youxiangqilaile:“linghunbolichenggong。”

“langxingoufeijieruchenggong,linghunyuzaitiduijiechenggong。”

“bencichuanyuewancheng,manyiqingweikefudanxiaosan,dianliangwukexiaoxingxingyo。”

gushuhuaizhemanqiangfenmen,qiangrenhunshenqiefushigudetong,madao:“manyinigexxx!”

——

tanguo,guxiangfu,houhuayuanli。

tiangaoyundan,qiufengliangshuang。

yatouyunerjinzhangdidingzheshuaibaidehehuachizi,kandaofenhongyishanderenjianjianchenlexiaqu,youxiejiebadiwen:“daxiaojie,womenzhendebuguanerxiaojiema?”

xiangfushuchudedaxiaojiegulizhuzuozaishuxiadetiaodengshang,duijingzilian。

tingdaoyatoudewenhua,bunaifandishuo:“zanmenxiangfudemingsheng,doushibeizheishazijidaileihuailede。rujintatanwanshuashui,bushuxishuixingnisile,nengguaisheiqu?”

yunerqieshengshengdikanlekandaxiaojie。xinlifannan:erxiaojiefenmingshibeidaxiaojietuijinheliqude!

ketayigexiaoxiaodebizi,renweiyanqing,jiusuanxintengerxiaojie,yebuganweitashuohuade。

gulizhujiangmeiyanchunbidoukanleyibian,shifenmanyizijitianshenglizhi,shoulejingzi,qishenqianleqianyibai。

takanzhebowenbuxingdeshuimian,xiaozhedao:“yuner,erxiaojiediaojinchizilide,nizheitizihaibuganjinjiaorenlaijiu!”

yunerbuganweinitadehua,lianmangchekaisangzihan:“lairenya,kuailairenya,erxiaojieluoshuila!”

tingdaoyoujiaobushengchuanlai,gulizhubuhuangbumangdicaijinshuizhong,yibianzhejidihan:“shuer!shuernizainali?kuaidianhuidajiejie!shuer,nibiehehujiejieya!”

“daxiaojie!”yigelaopozilianmangxiashuilazhulegulizhu,“daxiaojiezixishangleziji,ninxianshangqu,dengxiaozimenxiaquzhaoerxiaojie!”

gulizhuzhengzhazhe,jiaoledianshuizaizijilianshang,jiayikuhandao:“tashiwodemeimei,wozenmenengyanzhengzhengkanzhetaluoshui,zaiyipangshenmedoubuzuoni?”

laopozitanlekouqi,wanghouzhaohujigexiaozilaijiangdaxiaojiezhuaihuianbian,youzhihuizhexiaozixiashuijiuren。

dengjigexiaozijiangerxiaojiecongchizilituoqilaishi,renyijingpaodebinglengfabai。

“姝儿!姝儿!”

hunhouyoulideshengyincongxiaodaoshangchuanlai,gulizhuyuanbenzaishuxiazhenglizijideyishan,tingdaozheigeshengyin,lianmangpudaomeimeideshenshang。

kuhandao:“shuerya,nizenmezheimediaopi,shuoleburangniwanshui,nihaitoumomodilaizheiliwan!”

“nijiuzheiyangqule,jiaojiejiekezenmebanya?”

tanguodeshouxiangguyunbeilaoguanjiachanzhexiaopaoguolai,jianzijilianggenver,yigehaowushengxiditangzaidishang,yigehunshenshilulude,xintongwubi。

“zhuer,shuerzheishizenmele?”suiranqinyankandaole,keguyunrengshibuganxiangxin,zhandouzheshengyinwen。

gulizhuqishenlai,zhuantoujiupudaolefuqinhuaizhong,kuzheshuo:“caigangwoquzhaomeimeiwan,jieguoyunershuotachuqule,wojiudaizheyunersichuzhao。meicengxiang,zhaodaotadeshihou,yijingzaichizilile!”

tashuozhe,youanandengzhepangbiandeyuner。

yunersesefadou,hedeguixia,shuo:“shizheiyangde。”

gangcailazhugulizhudelaopozishuo:“womenwenshengganlaishi,daxiaojiehaizaichizili,yaoganzhequjiuerxiaojieni!”

“zhuer,xinkunile!”guyunjinjinlouzhezijidanver,kandaotangzaidishangdeernver,laoleizonghengqilai,“laotianye,wojiujingfanleshenmecuo,niyaozheiyangchengfawo?daizoulewodeqizi,rujinyouyaodaizouwodeshuerma?”

“fuqin!”gulizhuduozaifuqinhuaili,zaizhongrenkanbujiandedifang,deyidigouzhezuijiao。

shengyinquegengyanzhe,“meimeiyijingshizheiyangle,dangxiazuizuijinyaode,shiyaojiangmeimeidesangshifale。haiyouyijianshi,qianliangritaihoucaishuoyaorangmeimeirugongweihou,rujinmeimeizaoyuyiwai,kezenmexiangtaihougumujiaodaiya?”

“ai!”guyunbeitongditanleyisheng,moleyibaleishui,qiangyatongkushuo:“taihouneitou,weifuhuiqushuode。xianbanimeimeidesangshibanle,yidingyaorangtafengfengguangguangdichumen。”

laozhurenfalehua,xiatoulaopozilianmangshangqianqujiangerxiaojietaileqilai。

sheizhitamenganggangjiangrentaiqilai,erxiaojiejingrankeleliangsheng,zhangkaileyanlai。

“诈尸啦!”

buzhidaoshisheihanleyisheng,yizhongxiarenhedeshilehuner,zhijiefangleshou,barenrengzaidishang。

好痛!好冷!

zicongchurenwulai,gushuyeshouguodadaxiaoxiaodeshang,danhaiconglaimeiyoubeizhadanzhaguo!

zheitongchuzhenbushiyibanrennengrenshoude!

tatangzaidishang,wangzhelantianbaiyun,ganshouzhehunshenshangxiaxixisuisuidetonggan,xiangdaogulizhujingranneiyangduita,hendeyayang!

“shuer?”kandaozijinverzhengkaiyanlai,guyunjinglebanshang,fanyingguolaihou,lianmangtuikaihuailidegulizhu,pushangqianqu。

“shuer,nizenmeyangle?youmeiyoujuedenalibushufu?”guyundanyoudiwen。

“shuer?jiaowo?”gushuwangzhemianqiandelaoren,zhouqimeilai,“nishishei?”

guyunjingle,“shuer,nibujidefuqinlema?shifuqinya!”

“fuqin?”gushumeitouzhoudeyueshen,“biehongwole,wofumuzaojiusile!”

“a?”guyunjingdeyakouwuyan。

gulizhumeixiangdaogushuhaihuozhe,lengleyihuier,lianmangyepushangqu,kuhan:“shuerya,nishifenglebuchengma?zenmenengzhoumafuqinni?”

gushubenlaihaishiyitouwushui,ketingdaolegulizhudeshengyin,kandaogulizhudelian,manqiangyuanhenyongshangxinlai。

tayegubushangzijihunshensuantong,qishenjiuchaogulizhupuguoqu,qiazhutadebozi,yaoyadao:“gulizhu,woyaonichangming!”