第一章 奇葩的定亲礼

wonanpengyoujiasonglaidedingqinliyezhengouqipade,yiduichansishuangkouyinshouzhuo,yizhibaiyumeihuazanzi,waijiayipihudiexiudezhensichouduanheyitaozhuanghuayunwendedahongxifu,pangbianhaibaizheyizhilaodaodiaoqidejinhe。

ruobushiqinyansuojian,wodoubuganxiangxin,shenmeniandailejuranhaiyourenyongzheimechuantonggujiudefangshilaidingqinde。

gengrangrenkuxiaobudeshi,dakaijinhelimianjingranzhuangzhelianggexiezhewoliangshengchenbazidezhihuxiaoren。

neixiaorenyinanyinv,chuanzhejianzhixifu,minzhexiaoyi,meiyanmiaohuadexuxurusheng,zayiyankanguoquxinlimomingdeyouxieshendehuang。

linhaojieshishuoshitamenlaojiadefengsu,yanqiandeshoushiwujiandoushilaoyibeichuanxialaideguwu,jiazhibufei,jialirenyuanyinachulaidangdingqinliyishiduiwozheigeerxishifendemanyi。wokanzhetadeyanshenzhenchengkenqiebuxiangshisahuangyebuhaoyisizaijijiao。

shuoshihua,qishiwohelinhaojiaowanghaibudaosangeyue,xianzaijiutanhunlunjiaweimianyouxiecangcu,danwoyichushengjiumingfanqisha,keqinfangyou,linhaoshiweiyiyigegenwozaiyiqichaoguoyigeyuehaianranwuyangdenansheng。

erqietawenroutitie,gaodashuaiqi,youfangyoucheyouxiaojinglaoren,shigejinhuwanmeidejiehunduixiang,woshizaizhaobudaorenheliyoujujuetadeqiuhun。

yushihunshijiuzheimedingxialai。

tatichuyaodaiwohuixiangxialaojiajianjianfumu,woxiangzhewoliangdouzhunbeijiehunleyuqingyulidougaiquyitang,meiduoxiangjiudayingle。

linhaolaojiabiwoxiangxiangzhongdehaiyaopianyuan,shanluqiqu,dianboleqibagexiaoshicaidaoletalaojialinjiacun。xiachedeshihoutianyijingheile,yinweishanyexiangcunlijichusheshiluohou,lubianlianyizhanludengdoumeiyou,zhouweiheiqiqideyipian,dakaishoujilimiandezhaomingcaimianqiangkeyikanqingcunlilinglingsansanzuoluozhejihurenjia。

danqiguaideshi,mingmingcaiwanshangqidianduo,jiajiahuhuqueyijingguanlemenxiledeng,goujiaojimingshengdoutingbudao,qiqinglengjidekepa,zhenggecunziyidianyanhuoqiyemeiyou。siqichenchen。

zheishi,yuanchuyouliangcuguanghuochaozhewomenkaojin,shiyiduizhongniannannv,liangrenbinjiaobiezheyiduobaisedezhihua,shoulipengzhelabaidezhutai,yefengqingchui,zhuhuoquebizhitingliwensibudong,shifendeguiyi。

zhuhuoyingzhaoxia,neiliangrendemiankongyinsencangbai,shuangmouyoulv,hedewotoupifama。

linhaojianwohaipamangxiaozhejieshi:“meishi,zheishiwobama,laijienihuijiade。”

wodangshixinlifahuangmeitaizaiyitadecuoci,mingmingwomenlianggeshiyiqihuilaide,taqueshuoshilaijiewo……

linhaodefumukandaowodefanyinghenpingdan,bingbinglenglengdeyangzi,lianshengzhaohudoumeida,jiushengyingdebengchuyiju:“zouba,zaiwanjiuganbujile。”

kantamendetaidujuebuxianglinhaosuoshuodeneiyangduiwozheigeerxifuhenmanyi,woxinligeyingdehuang,lazhelinhaoxiaoshengwen:“nibamahaoxiangbutaixihuanwoba?”

linhaochongnidexiaolexiao,manyanwenqing:“nanenga!shayatou,nixiangduole,wobamajiushixiangxiarenbudongdebiaodaeryi,kuaizouba,haideganzhequjizuzongshangfenni!”

“shangfen?xianzai?”wodengyuanleyanjingjingchadekaikou,“nayourendawanshangshangfende?”

linhaojinjindeqianzhewodeshoufangfopawopaodiaoyiyang,naixindejieshi:“zheishiwomencundefengsu,xinxifuerjianjiazhangyaoxianqubaijiyixiazuxian,dedaozuxianderenkecaisuanshizhenzhengdelinjiaxifu。”

haiyouzheimeqiguaidefengsu?woxuqingqingjintiansuanshikaileyanjiele。

buguoshilibutongfeng,bailibutongsu,meigedifangdefengsuxiguandoubuyiyang,suoweiruxiangsuisu,woyebuhaoshuoshenme,zhinengmomodegenzailinhaofumudeshenhou。

lushangsheidoumeishuohua,sixiajijingyoushen,zhiyouyizhiyeyagenzhewomenshenhou,zaiheianzhongfachu“guagua”detijiao。

阴冷瘆人。

zouledagaiyouyigeduoxiaoshi,linhaodefumuzhongyuzaibanshanyaotinglexialai,jiezheweiruodezhuguangwoduozailinhaodeshenhoutoutoumiaoleyiyan,yinyuekandaoyigeguangtutudefenbao,shangmianzacaobusheng,haoxiangcaiganggangrufenmeiduojiuyiyang。

bushishuoshilaijibaixianzume?zenmebawodaidaoleyigexinfenqianmianlai?

woxinlianziyouxiedigu,danyoupazailinhaodefumumianqianfanleshenmejihui,zhinengxianjiangmanduzideyiwenzanshiyaxia,xiangzhedenghuihuiquzaixianglinhaowengejiujing。

“qingqing,lai,jiwomenlinjiaxianzushaoxiexianghuo。”linhaonachulezhunbeihaodeyiluozhiqianhesanzhixiangsaidaowoshoushang,linhaodefumubabailazhutaibaizaifenbaoqianmian。

sanshuangyanjingjiuzheimeqishuashuadedingzhewo,buzhidaoshibushiwodecuojue,zongjuedetamendeyanshenzhigougouderangrenhenbushufu,yinyingchuzuijiaosihuwangshangweiweiyangleyang……

linhaojianwochiyi,lveyouxiejiaojidecuicu:“qingqing,shihoubuzaole,ganjindeba。”

woxiangzhezaodianjieshuganjinhuiqu,yushiyingzhetoupizhaozuole。

kebuzhizenmede,neisanzhixiangdianlaidianqudoudianbuzhe,gangcaideyeyaluozaifentoupangbiandelengshanshushang“guagua”zhijiao,shengshengqiqie,jiaodewoxinlifamaotoupifama,hunshenshangxiajipigedadouqilaile。

linhaodemamaturanyongyizhonghenyuandudeyuqiduizheneiyeyasihou:“bianmaochusheng,biehuaiwoerzihaoshi!”shuozhejianqiyikuaishitouchaoshuzhizaqu。

yeyashoujingfeizou,yeyashoujingfeizou,xiangyixiazijiudianzhele,yidianyidianhuaweihuijinluoxia。

woyeshaoguoxiangjiguozu,buzhidaoshibushicuojue,zheixiangsihubixunchangderanshaodekuailexie。

“linhao,womenganjinhuiquba。”wolalelalinhaodeshoubei,shengyinfazhan,zhenggerendoukuaikuchulaile。

kelinhaobitingtingdezhanzaiyuandiliankandoumeiyoukanwo,shixianzhizhidedingzhewoshenhou。woxiayishidehuitoukanleyiyan,faxiantamamabuzhidaoshenmeshihounachuleyiduizhizhadexiaorenshaoleqilai。

womeijicuodehua,zheiduixiaorenzhengshilinhaodingqindeshihousongguolaide,shangmianhaiyongzhubixiezhewogentadeshengchenbazi。

dengdeng!woxiangqilaiyijianshi!

congjiaowangzhijinwocongweigaosulinhaowodeshengchenbazi,tashizenmezhidaodefenhaobucha?erqie,yongzhubixieshengchenbazibenjiubujili,ruguonalaishaodiaodehua,juwosuozhizhiyouyizhongqingkuang……

祭奠死人!