第一章 小傻子吃狗粪

“死人了……”

“a,shazibeiguiwangdasile!”

“快去叫人啊!”

吵!

好吵啊!

谁死了?

什么傻子?

zheixierendeshengyinxiangmifengyiyangzaiwengwengjiao。

bujinchao,yejinhaijuedehaoteng,hunshenshangxiadaochudouteng,yishishenxianzaiyipiannongzhongdehundunli。

hunhunchenchenzhizhong,yejinqiangrenzheshentidebushi,shifenjiannandizhengkaileyanjing。

mohudeshixianyidiandiandebiandeqingming,tahaimeifanyingguolai,yishunjianjiukandaoleyanqianneiyizhangqichouwubidelian!

“好丑!”

yejinxiangyebuxiangdejiutuokouerchu。

cihuayichu,zhouweidekongqidunshijiuningguchengbing,huayuanlizaichangderendoujingdaile。xiaoshazijuranhuole?

erqie……erqie……zheijiangjunfujiadexiaoshazi,juranhaiganmaxiongsheneshadeguiwanghaochou?

zheishibushizhendebuxianghuole?

weiguandezhongrensesefadou,etoushangdoubuzaibuduandeliuhan。

tamenzongjuedezheixiaoshaziyouyaozaisiyicile。

kongqiningzhilejimiaozhong,siyibandechenjili。

hunshenshixuedaozaidishangdeyejin,douhaimeifanyingguolai,tadebozidouranjiubeiyizhishouqiazhu,henhendiqiazhu。

“yejin,benwangkannishizaizhaosi!”

nanrendeshengyinbinglengerwuqing,tingzaiyejindeerpan,jiuxiangshidaofengyiyanghuaguo。

tadebozibeiqiazhu,huxibuguolai,yizhangmanshixuewudelianyinweizhixieryouxieniuqu。

tazhinengdengdaleyanjingkanzheyanqianzheigenanren,qidouchuanbuguolai!

duishizhijian,takandaolenanrenyinzhiercanlengdeyanjing,bidushehaiyaokepa。yejin?!

hongranzhijian,yejindenaozizhijiejiuzhakaile。

wushuzhongdehuamianxianghongshuibaofayiyang,zhanjuletadenaohai。

叶锦傻眼了。

穿越了?

tajingranjiuzheimechuanyuele?tatangtangwaikeshoushudiyidaoyejin,juranjiuchuanle?

tadejiyihaitingliuzaitahunmiguoqudeshihou,tayitianzuolehaojitaishoushu,zuihoulaoleiguodudihunguoqule。

ketazenmejiubianchengleyejin?

nandaotajiuzheimeguolaocusile?

jinjiezhe,lingwaiyiduanmoshengdejiyixilai。

tacaimingbai,tashizhendechuanle,chuandaoledazhouwangchaozheigejiaozuoyejindeshazishenshang。

zheijushentishijiangjunfudedinv,danshicongxiaoyinweibeibaocuole,yizhiliuluozaiwai。zheibujiuqiancaibeizhaohuilai,yinweishigeshazi,zaijiangjunfulisheidoubudaijianta,sheijiaotayoushayouchun?

jiangjunfuliderendouxihuanneigegaoguiyouyadeyejiuge,neigecongxiaojiudingtileyuanzhushenfendenvren!

zheixiedoubushizuikepade。

可怕的……

shiyejiugehezheigemianrongqichouwubideguiwangcongxiaojiuyouhunyue,yejiarentengaiyejiuge,jiuxiangbayejinzheigeshazisaijishengminglangjie,canrenbaonvedeguiwang!

从而保住夜九歌。

erqie,zheiguiwanghuangfuyuan,tashenzhongjudu,choujiusuanle,ju……tapengguodeneixienvren,huobuguosangeyue!

卧槽!

yejinrenbuzhufangebaiyan,tadeshoushudaoni?

taxiangtongsiyejiazheiyiqunren,qinshengdehaibibuguoyigeyangnvma?

这还是不是人?

zheinashibiyejinjiaren,fenmingshiqusongsi。

jiuzaiyejinjuedezijiyaobeiqiasideshihou,neiyilianshaqidehuangfuyuandouransongkaileta,xianqisidebatadiuzaidishang。

“zaiganwangbenwangshenshangpu,xiayici,benwangshaleni!”

huangfuyuandiuxiazheijuhua,shuaikaiheisedepaozi,zoule。

“yejiaxiangyongnilaitangsaibenwang,zuomeng!”

yejinyoushuaidetouyunyanhuade,shentitaipibeile,bantiandoupabuqilai。

“jinjin,nizenmeyouchuanghuole?nizheimebutinghua,woyaogaosufuqin。”shudi,yidaowenrousishuidenvshengxiangqi。

yejintaiqitou,kanguoqu。

lairenyixiqianlvsedejinxiuzhangqun,pifubaixishengxue,meiyanwumeierwenrou,zhoushenshangxiadouliutangzheyigudajiaqianjindeguiqi。

takanyejindeyanshenhenrouheguanqie,keyejinqueyaoyaqiechide!

naozilicancundejiyigaosuta,zheiweiwenrourushuideguniangjiushiyejiuge!

keyejiugecaimeiyouneimewenhewuhai,yejiugeshenghuozaijingchengli,huibuzhidaoguiwangzuitaoyannvrenle?

tapianchishadeyejinqujihuangfuyuantouhuaisongbao,bujiushixiwanghuangfuyuanyiqizhixianongsiyejinma?

yejinbeihuangfuyuanyizhangpaifeile,zhuangzaileshitoushang,zheibu……

她才来了!

放心。

congxianzaikaishitajiushiyejin,jirantalaile,tajiubuhuirangyejinwangsi!

“jie……tengteng……jiejiebuyaogaosufuqin。”yejinyanzhuziyizhuan,zhuangchuleyifuchishademoyang。

tachulaizhadao,haibushuxizheijiangjunfu,zuihaodebanfa,jiushizhuangsha!

yejiugeyandishanguoyimoyane,henkuaijiuxiaoshibujian。

tashangqian,qinzifuqileyejin,shengyinwenhe。

“jiejiezaizheili,buyaopa。”

“womenxianxiaqushuxiyixia。”

“失陪。”

yejiugeluoluodafangdixiangzaichangdeqianjinxiaojiemenxingleyili,daizheyejinxiaqu。weiguandeqianjinxiaojiemen,yourenfachugankaisheng。

“niqiao,zheiyejiugezheiyishendeqipai,zenmeyebineigeshazigengxiangshidinvba?”

“sheizhidao,zheishazicaishizhendedinv,ai。”

“fenghuangyichaobianchengyejilou!”

yejiugeyuanyuandijiutingdaolezheixiehua,yizhangliandouqidelvle,gangcaishizairenqian,tabuhaofazuo,xianzai,yikansixiawuren。yejiugesixialeneiyizhangwenroudemianju,fanshoujiuyibazhangchouzaileyejindelianshang。

野鸡?

tayejiugeyongyuandoushiyejiadedinv,tabuhuizuoyejide!

yejishizheigechishadeyejin!sheidoubiexianghetazhengqiangshenme!yongyuandoubukeneng!yejinbeida,cubujifang,chunjiaoliuchulexueji。

“nizheigeshazi,niweishenmebusi?nijingranhaiyouminghuozhe,guiwangzenmebunongsinini?”yejiugedeyanjinglishanshuozheedudeguangmang。

yejinruoshibeiguiwangnongsile,guiwanghaihaoyisiqiuqutama?

zheimenhunyue,tasidoubuhuidayingde。

yejinbenxiangfanji,yanjiaoyuguangsaodaobuyuanchuzoulaideyixingren。

suiranburenshineishishei,danshikanneiqishixiongxiongdemoyang,taxindiyeyoushule。yinggaishitingshuoyejinchushile,guolaizhaotadeyejiayixingren。

tadunshijiushoulianlenuyi,tazhuangzuohaipadewuzhelian,nanguodekuqizhe。

这狗日的夜九歌!

lairi,laoziyidingnashoushudaosiponidelian!

“jiejiebuyaodawo……buyaogaosufuqinwochuanghuole。”

“姐姐,好不好?”

yejinshizuipayelaoyede,yelaoyeyanliqilai,keyibarendasi,yebudaiyidianliuqingde。

yejiugehaibuzhidaoyourenlaile,haixiangfaxiezijineixindefenhen。

tayibazhuaizhuyejindetoufa,“shazi,niyaoshibuxiangwogaosufuqinnichuanghuole,yekeyi。”

yejiugeyanzhongdaizhechaofeng,saoguocaoconglidegoufen!

tadeyidizhizhecaocongdegoufen。

tadao:“neilishijiejieweinizangdegaodian,nichiganjingle,jiejiejiubugaosufuqinle。

“你还不快去吃?”