第一章 完蛋啦!

“niangniang,nindeshenzibenjiunanshouyun,haoburongyihuaishangzheiyitai,haibushigeer,jianglainashenmebangshenni!”

“nubidouyijingdadianhaole,neijianonghudehaizicaishengchan,shigejieshidenanwa,zhiyaoqiaoqiaobaxiaojunzhubaochuquhuanle,juebuhuiyourenhuaiyineinanhaibushiniangniangqinshengde!”

jiangjiujiuganjuezijizhengtangzaiyigeruanhuhudehuaili,erbianhaiyougengyandekusheng。

tazhengkaiyan,jiukanjianyigepiaoliangyiyizhengzhengzheyanleilianliankanzheta:“kezheishiwodeqingurou,wozenmerenxinjiangtasongqunonghujialichikua……”

啊咧?

guntangdeleidizaitaxiaolianshang,neiweipiaoliangyiyiyanquanfanhong,liansecangbai,kanshangquyiliandebushe,rangjiangjiujiuyoudianmangran。

zheishinaliya?piaoliangyiyiyoushisheiwa?tabushiyijingweilezhengjiucangshengxianjizijilema?

huangusizhou,tayihuoyaoqilexiaoshoushou。

zheilihaoxiangbushitiangong,buguopangbianbailehaoduopiaoliangdefanjianbaobei,fangziyexiudehenpiaoliang,zhuzihefangliangdoudiaozhehua。

“aiyou,wodeniangnianga,ninkeyidingyaoxiangqingchua!”

jiangjiujiuhaimeinongqingchuzhuangkuang,shouzaipiaoliangyiyishenpangdepoziquezheleji:“ninruoshishebudexiaojunzhuchiku,rihoubianduowangneinonghujialisongxieyinzi,neinonghunanbuchenghaiganrangzanmenhuaiyangwangfudejinzhiyuyeshouweiqu?”

“dengdaoxiaojunzhuzhangdaxie,ninxungeyoutouquxiangxiajiexiaojunzhuhuilai,jiushuoyuxiaojunzhutouyuan,shouweiyangnv,daoshihoushiziyeyeshininde,qingurouyezaishenbian,bushiliangquanqimeima?”

tingjianzheihua,baozhetaneipiaoliangyiyimingxiandongyaole,zhiyaozhechunbandingdingdingzheta,yanshenjiujie:“hao……jiuannishuodezuo!”

jiangjiujiujuechuxiebuduijing。

zheigepozikanshangqubuxianghaorenlie!neimanliandezheziroudouduizhejiaxiao,yishuanglaoshuyanguluguluzhuanzhe,haoxiangzhengdazheshenmehuaixinsi!

taxiayishishenshou,xiangtixingrangyiyibietingtadehua,zhangzuiquemaochuyidaonaijijidekusheng:“waa~”

哈?!

怎么个情况?

jiangjiujiuyihuokanzhezijineishuanggenlingjidezhuazichabuduodadebainenxiaoshou,dadadeyanjingxiemanmangran。

xianzaideta,juranbianchenglegemeiyoulinglidexiaonaiwawa!

jiangjiujiushouzuwucuo,eqianquehuranliangqileyidaojinguang,daduanhuiyiyongjinnaohai。

……!

tajuranchuandaoleyigehuabenzili,xianzaideshenfen,shihuaiyangwangzhengfeixulingqinggangshengxiadexiaojunzhu,yuanbenyinggaishibeishoutengaidejinzhiyuye,queshengxialaijiubeibaochulefu。

yuanzhudeniangniangsuirangentadiediehuaiyangwangjiangkedikangliqingshen,queyizhiwusuochu,haoburongyizaisanshisuizheiniancaihuaishangta,xinliqishigengxiwangyaoyigedizide。

shenbiandemamabiancuanduoxulingqingjiangtagenzijiabiaoqindeerzitihuan,huayanqiaoyushuoneinonghuhuizhaoguhaohaizi,hongdexulingqingdayingxialai。

neigegenyuanzhuduidiaodenanhaisuishuozaifuzhongyeguodebuhao,daodishiyouwangfushizideshenfen,zongguibuzhiyushoukushouzui。

eryuanzhuqueyichufujiubeizheimamamaijirenyazi,songquqinglouzuoleyahuan,daxiaochibubaochuanbunuan,haiyaosihouhuakui,caishiersuijiubeibizhemaishen。

yuanzhushisibucong,beihuohuodasi!lianzijiqindieniangdoumeijianguo!

jiuming!tacaibuxiangbeizheimezhemo!

kemeidengtaxiangchuburangzijibeisongzoudebanfa,xulingqingyijingbaozhetawanbanbushedeqinleqin,henxiaxinjiangtadijineimama:“jianghaizidaizouba,qiejibuyaolouchushenmemajiao,yidingyaozhaoguhaota!”

“niangniang,ninjiufangxinba。”

pozizuijiaogouqiyisidechengdexiao,baoqijiangjiujiubianchaomenwaizou。

jiangjiujiuxiaolianhedeshabai,xiaojiaoyaheruanhuhudexiaoshounulizhengzha,quebeibaobeiyiguo,quanranmeifazhengzha。

【完蛋啦!】

【niangqin,nibuyaorangtabawodaizouya!tadoushipiannide!yihuitabawomaiquqinglouli,nijiuzaiyejianbudaowola,wuwuwu……jiuming,wocaibuxiangtiantianaidahaiyaobeibizhejieke,wanyisilewoyehuibuqutiangongzenmebanya?】

xulingqingzhengzhengzhengdingzhenverdexiaolianfadai,hurantingjianneijinghuangdexiaonaiyin,huxiyizhi。

ganggangneishishenmeshengyin?sheizaijiaoniangqin?zongbunengshitagangchushengdenverba?

kenayoucaichushengdehaizihuishuohuadeni?

tazhengzaixiangshibushizijisongzouhaizineixinqianjiuchanshenglehuanjue,neishengyinquezaicixiangle。

【zheigeliumamaheneiduinonghubenlaihaikeyijiwoyitiaohuolu,napabawozhengchangyangzaijialiyehao,jieguojuranyinweipadiaohuanhaizideshiqingjianglaibeichaichuan,zhijiebawowanghuokenglitui,haipianniangqinshuowosile!】

【niangqinshengwodeshihoushentijiubutaihao,shibushihaixinkouteng,zheiyixiashoubuzhudajizhijielianmingdoudiule,a!tamenjianzhitaihuaile!】

xulingqingzhouranzuanjinlequan,zhijuexinkouyoushiyizhenteng!

nanbuchengzheizhenshitanverdeshengyin?

liumamazheienu,zhenhuibatadeguroumaiquneizhongazadifangrangtashoucuotuo,haizheiyangkuangpianta?

yankanzhetayaojianghaizibaozou,xulingqingdexinyuelaiyuehuang,zhijuehaoxiangzhenyaogennvertianrenyongge!

tabuganzaiyouyu,chaozheliumamaliheyisheng:“zhanzhu!baxiaojunzhubaoguolai!”

liumamashentiyijiang,yanshenxianranyouxiexinxu,quezhuangchuyifujiaojiguanqiedemoyang:“niangniangshishebudexiaojunzhule?ninbiedanwule,wangyeyijingzaiganhuilaidelushangle,zaibujiangxiaojunzhubaochuqu,pashijiumeijihuilea!”

“ninjinhouyaoshixiangjunzhu,yekeyiqiaoqiaochuqukande,hebiyaozaizheigejieguyan……”

xulingqingqiaozhetaneifubizijihaishangxindemoyang,bianjuechulexieyichang。

zheiyebushitaniangjiadailaidejiashengnucai,zenmeganweitamaozheimedadexian?

tamouziliangleliang,zhangkoudao:“biyan,jiangxiaojunzhubaoguolai!”

neipozihuangleshen,haiyaoshuoshenme,houzaiwaimiandebiyanyijingdabuzoujinlai,hengtayiyanjianghaizibaozou,shunshiyijiaochuaizaitaxiaotuishang。

“niangniangdehuaniyeganbutingle?zhaoda!”

poziyanzhongshanguoyisibugan,queyezhinengweiweinuonuoguixia:“shi,nubigaisi,dannubiyeshiweileniangniangzhexianga!”

xulingqinglengyankanzhetaweizhandeshou,molexiadingjuexin:“biyan,jiangzheipozidafachuqu,zixixiechuli,bierangtashuochubugaishuodehua,zaiqubinggaowangye,bianshuowohexiaojunzhumunvpingan。”