第1章 老娘要嗝屁了

“kuaibaoguolaijibengongkankan,shinanhainvhai?”

nvzitangzaitashang,miansecangbai,shifenxuruo,shengyinqiruoyousi。

“jiafeiniangniang,shigexiaogongzhu,keshi,keshixiaogongzhumeileqixi,shigesiying!”

jieshengpozhanzhanweiweidebaozhehaiziguizaidishang,yizhishousisiwuzhu。

“jiafeiniangniang,siyingbuxiang,laonumenbangniangniangdaizouchuliba,moredianxiaxinfana!”pangbiandemamayeguilexiaqu。

wodeniangwodelaowodedanaobiandazao!

jiafei?zheibushitakandeneibenguyanxiaoshuodepaohuinvpeima?bujinluodecansilenggongdexiachang,gangchushengdeguinvgengshibeihuohuowusi。

tingzhezheshuxidetaici,xiaotangtangzhenggerenjiugenbeileipileyiyang,tazheishichenglepaohuinvpeigangchushengjiusiledeguinv?

lianggerendemingjiaqilaidouhuobuguoyizhang!

laotianbugonga!tahaoburongyikaoshanglegongwuyuan,juranbeichezhuangsi。

haoxiaoxishixianzaihuole,huaixiaoxishitamashangyoudesile。

tanainaide,laodengnibujiangwude,bieguaiwokaigua!

zheibenxiaoshuotakanlewushubian,juqingjideqingqingchuchu,jiranrangtachuanguolaile,jiubiexiangneimeqingyidenongsita。

“bu,bu!zenmekeneng,wodehaizizenmehuishisiying!woyaokanyiyan,bahaizibaoguolaijiwokanyiyan!”

jiafeimiansetongku,tabuxiangxinzijidehaiziyichushengjiusile。

pangbiandedagongnvlinglongyanleiyezhibuzhudediao,tashizhidaoniangniangyouduoqidaizheigehaizide。

mamayandihuian,“niangniang,siyingbuxiang,bunengkana,chongzhuangleninjiubuhaole,haishiranglaonudaixiaquchuliba。”

【nifangpi!nicaishisiying,niquanjiadoushisiying,wodimaya,muhui,nizaibujiuwowojiuzhenchengsiyingle!】

ruanmengdexiaonaiyinzaierbianxiangqi,jiapinmengdezhengkaiyan,wuliyemeiyoubiedehaizi,erqiehaijiaotamufei?nandaoshi?

jiantahaimeisi,jieshengpobashouhuadaotadebozi,yiguzhixiganyonglai,xiaotangtangpinmingzhengzha,huiwuzhexiaoshoupuleng。

【muhui!kuaijiuwo,buyaoxiangxintamen,tamendoushiliguifeideren,shilaihainide!】

shenme?mamashitacongguogongfudailaideren,genletashijinian,juranbeipanleta?

suirantabuzhidaodaodifashengleshenme,danshitajuebuhuiyanzhengzhengkanzhezijidenverbeihaisi!

“linglong,kuai,kuaibahaiziqiangguolai,bierangtamendaizou!”jiafeijidongdecongchuangshangxialai,hunshentuoli,zhijiezaidaoledishang。

yipangdelinglongjimangqubaohaizi,yibacongjieshengposhouliqiangguolai,dingqingyikan。

huaizhongdexiaogongzhumianseqingzi,bozishanghaiyouciyandeshouzhangyin,linglongzhanzhanweiweideshenshouqutan,faxianhaizihaiyouqixi。

“niangniang!xiaogongzhuhaiyouqi,xiaogongzhumeisi!”linglongjimangbahaizibaohuiqu。

jiafeiditoukanzhehaizi,xinlimanshihoupa,pailepaihaizidehoubei。

jiafeidingzhehuailidenverkan,tatingdaodeshengyin,zhendeshizijihuailidenaiwawafachude?

kanlinglonghemamadefanying,sihuzhiyoutazijinengtingdao,nandaozheibianshichuanshuozhongdemunvlianxin?

erxiaotangtangbeitayipaiyixiakulechulai,daoshirangtashufulebushao,zhengyankanjianjiafeishi,koushuidoukuailiuchulaile。

furuningzhi,nongmeidayan,wuguanshensui,biaozhundenongyandameinva,shencaihaizheimehuola!

zheimemeidenvren,juranshipaohuinvpei,tadebianyidiedieshixialegouyanma?

【wodenianglei!wocao,zheijiushiwomuhuima?haomei,bianyidiediezhenshixialegouyanjuranbatadarulenggong!】

【haihaomuhuijiulewo,yaoburanjintianjiudexitilenggongdalibaole,liguifeidouzaiganlaidelushangle!】

haimeilaidejinongqingchuguinvkongzhongdelenggongdalibaoshizenmehuishi,biantingjianyigediaomandenvsheng。

“huangshang,qintianjianshuodejiushizheili,houfeidanxiasiying,duiguoyunyouhai,jinrijiuzhiyoujiafeishengchan,dingshizheile!”

“jiafeidanxiaduiguoyunyouhaidehaizi,huangshangkebunengrenbuguana!“

liguifeimianlubuxie,tashencaijiaoxiao,youaizandemantouzhuhua,kanqilaituotuojiushidatouwawa。

xiaotangtangdemuguangluodaotapangbianshenzhehuafudenanrenshenshang。

tashencaigaoda,wuguanxiangdiaokechulaideyibanjingzhi,shenshangdeqichanggengshiyadepoganshizubiaoqingdanmodekanzhetamen,xiangkanxiyiban。

daoshixiaotangtangfanqilehuachi,“【woleigedou,zheiqichangzheimeqiangda,nandaoshiwodebianyibaojundiedie?】

xiaoshunyidebiaoqingyizheng,youxiebuganzhixindekanxiangjiafeihuailidewawa,shizheiwanyizaishuohua?tajuranganzheiyangshuoqu,wokeshidazhouhuangdi!

tataitoukanxiangqitaren,kantamendoumeifanying,xiangshidoumeitingjianside。

nandaoshi,tagenzheixiaotuzaizixinlingxiangtong?zenmehuiyouzheimehuangmiudeshi,kanzheneigenaituanzihuangrandawu,takeshitianzi,nengtingdaozijinverdexinsiyebushiqishi。

bijingtakeshijiuwuzhizun,tianxuanzhizi,nengbeitatingjianxinsheng,shizheixiaonaiwaderongxing。

xiaotangtanghaibuzhidaotatingjianle,haizaineigankai。

【zhangdezheimeshuai,zenmejiuxialeyanni?nanguaihuiluodeguopojiawang,haibeirenxianjianhousha,zheimeshuainanrenkanleyexindonga!】

【guorannanhaizichumenzaiwaiyeyaobaohuhaoziji。】

gangyaokaikoudexiaoshunyishenseyijiang,yanshenandanxialai,yuguangdingzhexiaotangtang,biaomianbolanbujing。

shijishangxinjidehen,gaisi,zhenkeshitianzi,sheiganbazhenxianjianhousha,tamuguanganzangshaqi。

zhiyaoxiaotangtangzuilibengchuyigemingzi,tayidingyaobaneirenzhemosi,napacuoshayibaiyebuhuifangguoyige。

erxiaotangtangkangkaiwan,jiumaijinlejiafeihuaili,xiaoyingerdetilitaiyouxian,tayanpishangxiazhidajia。

xiaoshunyidingleyihui,meizaitingjianneigeshengyin,meitouweiweizhouqi,xiangdaoliguifeishuodehua。

zheixiaodongxibuhuizhenshisiyingba,neiganggangzijitingjiandeshishenme,shitadelinghunzaigenzhenduihua?

ketahaimeishuoqingchuni,daodishisheixiangcuanwei,haixiangbazhenxianjianhousha,tadaodizhibuzhidao,huashuoyibanjisirena!

xiaoshunyimeitouqingtiao,yishuangruyoutanbandemouziweiweimi

qi,muguangsenlengyichang,youruhanbingcigu。

“jiafei,liguifeisuoyanshifoushushi,nidanxiadeshisiying?”

jiafeibaozhehaiziguizaidishang,cangbaidelianshangmanshileishui,taweishifendaidelianshangyeyanshibuzhujingzhidemeiyan,ranerzheifenjingzhitongyangbuzhegaiyijingmimanlemanliandeqiaocuixuruo。

kudelihuadaiyu,“huangshang,chenqiedehaizibushisiying,shijieshengpohemamaxiangqiasita,haihaobeilinglongfaxianle,yaoburanxianzaipashimeiminglea!”