第二章幻想破灭
4
春去秋来。
gegezhongyujuedinghuilaile。
wobutaiqingchutadejinkuang，dantingbamadeyisi，tahaoxiangmeinadaobiyezheng。
wobingbujuedeyihan，mannaoziquanshiyazaishenshangdedanzizhongyuyaobianqingyixie，xinliyebuyoudeyouxiequeyue。
pingjiezijidenuli，woconggongchangtiaocaodaodagongsi，gongziyegenzheshuizhangchuangao。
danzheijinianjingjibuhao，bamabenjiujiejudeshourugengshizhuojinjianzhou，nanyifudangegedekaizhi。
yushiwolisuoyingdangdefudanqiletadeshenghuofei。
meigeyuegongziyidaoshou，jiuhuibeiwolijifenchengsanbi，quanbudahuilaojia。
rangmamabangmangcunzhedeqian。
给哥哥的生活费。
haiyoudanduyonglaibutiebamashenghuodejiayong。
zheisanbiyiwaishengxiadeyidianqian，bianshiwoliujizijideshenghuosuoxu。
fangzu、huoshi、jiaotong......yaoyongqiandedifangtaiduole，womeigeyueshengchijianyong，yejiunengjizijiliuxiasangualiangzaoyinggeji。
pengyoudouxiaohuawonianjiqingqingjiubeishanglejiatingdezhongdan，danwojuedeyemeishenme，bamaguodehaojiuxing。
suiranwoqingchu，dajibabayonglaibutiejiayongdeqian，tamengenbenmeishedezijihua，quandajiwogele。
buranzenmejieshimeicihuijia，taliangneifujinbabadejiongpomoyang。
qianxieriziwomahewodadianhuadeshihou，yigezimeitidaoqian，danhualihuawaidoushijialiqueqian。
哥哥要回家了。
马上要过年了。
tamenzhengaiqingxingyouwozheimetiexinyounenggandehaonver，woqianduanshijiangendexiangmuyijingchenggongshangma，niandiyinggainengshoudaoyibijiangjin。
zugouwopaizhexiongfuzaidianhualihewomabaozheng，jinnianguogehaonianbuchengwenti。
zhengdangwomeizizidechangxiangjiatingshiguang，xianshiquehenhenjilewoyigebazhang。
我被优化了！
zuijinshichanghuanjingbutaihao，gongsixiaoyidaburuqian，douzaichuankenenghuicaiyuan，danwozenmeyemeixiangdaohuilundaowotoushang。
lingdaozhaodaowo，shuowozhiqiangendeneigexiangmuhuikuanbuxing，zhisuoyihuikuanbuxing，shiyinweiwoweiguicaozuo，rechuledawenti。
tarangwozhudonglizhi，zheiyangxiangmuchuwentideshiqingkeyijiwangbujiu，tahaiyuanyizaiwozhihoubeidiaodeshihouweiwomeiyanjiju。
fouzedengdaoshangtouzhuijiuxialai，jiubuzhishilizhineimejiandanle。
woqingchutashiweixiewo，shuodequanshiwujizhitan，kewozhishiyigexiaoxiaodeyuangong，zenmegenzheimedadeqiyekangheng？
zheigenian，pashibuhaoguole。
5
woxintaihao，meikongbeichunshangqiu，chulewentijiuhaohaojiejue。
shuoshiwoweiguicaozuorelehuo，neizongdenachuzhengju。
gongsiburen，jiubieguaiwobuyi。
wochengren，zhiqiangenxiangmudeshihou，youxieliuchengdequebutaidaowei，danneidoushizailingdaodeshouyixia，weilejiakuaixiangmujinducaiqudecuoshi。
dangchudouzhengyizhiyanbiyizhiyan，xianzailaigenwosuanshenmezongzhang？
momingqimiaodeheiguoyaokouzaiwotoushang。
zenmejiuyouzheimebuyaoliandezhuyini？
我当然据理力争。
kewobijingshigepingtouxiaolaobaixing，hegongsizheizhongpangrandawuxiangbi，wuyiyuyiluanjishi。
zuihou，weilezhengqudaoyidiandianlizhibuchang，wohegongsisuanshichedisipolelian。
gengongsibanliwanshouxu，zaijiazhenglidongxideshihou，fangdongjuranjiwodalegedianhua。
wozheifangzishiyigejidufuyicizujin，benxiangdengzhefagongzideshihoujitazhuan，xianzaigongzichenglebuchangjin，yishibanhuierhaifabuxialai。
wozhishengxiaweishubuduodecunkuan，yongyibishaoyibi。
siqianxianghou，wojiwomadalegedianhua。
jietongdeshunjian，wodalehaojiudefugaoquandougengzailesangzili，renbuzhukulechulai。
“zenmele，xiaofangnizenmele？”dianhuaneitoudemamahuangle，“shoushenmeweiqulewodehaonver？”
“ma，wo......”huadaozuibianshuobuchukou，wowozheshoujizhibuzhudeliulei，“......wojinnianjiubuhuilaiguonianle，wobeikaile，shoutoumeiyouduoyudeqian。”
benyiweihuitingdaolaizimamadeanwei，kewodedaodezhiyoushiwang。
dianhuaneitouchuanlaijiqiedeshengyin，mamadeshengyinzhongjinshidanyouhebuan：“xiaofanga，zhiqianbushishuojinnianguonianyaohuijiadema......nirenbuhuilai，neiqianzenmebanya，jialijixuyongqiana。”
judadeshiwangjiangwojichuan，womeixiangdaoyizhiwenroutitiedemama，zaiwozuishoushangdeshihoujuranhaixiangzhewodeqian。
wotanlekouqi：“jinnianguonianjiujiandandianba，woshizaishimeibanfale，mashanghaiyaojiaofangzu。”
“shenme？！”womajihuzaijianjiao，“nizhiqianbushishuoyoujiangjinma，jinnianhaoburongyinigehuiguo，nibuhuilaineiduobuhaoya！”
suoyiwohuijiajiushiweilejigegezuopeima？
woqidebuxing，renbuzhujiangzijideweiquyituweikuai：“naerlaidejiangjin！wobushuolegongsicaiyuanma！womeigeyuewangjialidaneimeduoqian，nimenbunengxiangxiangbanfama！”
“ma，wodexianbafangzujiaole，buranwoliangezhudedifangdoumeiyou。”
“nibukenengshederangwoshuimaluquba？”
6
guolehaoyizhen，dianhuaduimianzhishengxiachenmo。
zaicixiangqishengyindeshihou，shibabajieguoledianhua：“ai，haohaizibiekule，babazhidaonixianzaiqingxubuhao，huanlesheixinxinkukuyizhengnianjuranbeicaileyuandoubuhaoguo。”
“nimabuhuishuohua，nibieshengtadeqi，tashitaixiangnile，shebudeniyigerenzaiwaitouguonian，gugudandan。”
babadehuashaoshaoanfulewodexin，wobuyoudeyouxiehouhui，ganggangbugaiduimamaeyanxiangxiang：“duibuqi，wobushiguyineimedashengshuohuade。”
“shahaizi，nimachadiankuchulaile，tashizuixintengniderenla，”babadeyuqilihaidaizheyisixiaoyi，“nishuoni，zenmehaishibudongshini？xiangxiangnige，takeshihaigui，dengtahuilejia，zanmenjiadehaorizihaiyuanma？”
“bamazheishidiyicizhengjingguanniyaoqian，suirannixianzaihenkunnan，danjializuijinqueshiyoujiyong，ninengbunengxiangxiangbanfa？”
gangganghaijuedeyouxiewenqingdewojiushigeshazi，babadehuarubingliangdedaozi，yidaodaozaiwoxinshanggelaigequ。
“neiwoni？wozheibuchangjinhaiyouyiduanshijiancainengnadao，woxianzai......”woturanjuedehaolei，“nimenzhendeweiwokaolvguoma？”
dianhuaneitou，babadeshengyinlengdanlejifen：“lifang，jialideqingkuangnibisheidouqingchu，nishizhuandaqianderen，jialipingshishixinkunile，danxianzaigengshixuyaonideshihou，nibunengtaizisi。”
我自私？
wowanwanxiangbudaowozaibamaxinlijurannenghezisicheshangguanxi。
aobuguofumu，wozhinengjiangzijijinshengdecunkuannalechulai。
babamamajingxinzhunbeileyizhuozidehaocai，huanyingwogehuiguo，yiqichituanyuanfan。
除了我。
buhuijiashiwozuihoudepanni。
“xiaofanga，zanjiadoupanzhenihuini，nizenmejiumeimaizhechepiaoni？zhenkexi，womendouxiangnile！”
wokanzhebamaxuqingjiayideshipindianhua，zhijuedekexiaozhiji。
“daguoniande，jiubiezaiyiwole，wobuyinggaizheimezisi，jiaoledajiadexingzhi。”
danianchuyi，woyigerenwozaixiaoxiaodechuzuwuli，kanzhepengyouquanlibierenshaidelvyou、jucan、xinyifu、xinxie......
zijiyigerenchileliangtongpaomian，shualeyitiandedianshiju。
doulidedianhuazaixiang，pengyoumenzaiqunlizaishuahongbao，wodingzhepingmushangdehongbaoliangyanfangguang，shoudoukuaishoukuaichoujinle，zhongyuqiangdaoleyigehongbao。
wobenyiweizheishigehaozhaotou，yushizhewonianhoujiunengzhaodaogongzuo，kemeixiangdaozheishiweiyiyigehongbao。
真晦气。