第1章 乡巴佬?

“xuejie,ni**doupole,yaobumaiyishuangba。wozheilide**,haochuanbugui。”

“xuejie,wojuedezheigentoushengjianzhihenishijuepei。”

“ei,neigedama,nibiewangshenshangtaole。”

jiuyuedelinzhouyanyanggaozhao,liqianzuozailinzhoudaxuemenkou,yibianyaozheshanziyibianshouzaiyiliangposanlunqianjiaomai。

jintianshikaixuederizi,tazaozaodebaowanmingjiuqizhesanlunchulaibaitanle,jinjinshiyishangwu,jiuwanchengleshouchuyibaijianshangpinderenwu。

“heihei,zongsuanshibajintianderenwuwanchengle,yebuzhidaozheicinenghuanlaishenmedongxi?”

liqianlaizilinzhoudeyigepianyuanshancun,jialiyouxiepinkun。tatongguozijidenuli,haoburongyicaikaoshanglelinzhoudaxue,kejialiquenabuchuxuefei。

weileburangfumucaoxin,taduzilailaidaolelinzhoudagong。

yizhouqian,taxiabanhuijia,jiuleyiweibaiditandedaye,bangmangsongjinleyiyuan。

kexidayemeiyoutingguodiertian,linsiqianjiangtadeposanlunsongjileliqian,binggaosutameitianzhiyaomaidiaoyibaijianshangpin,sanlunchelijiunengsuijihuodeyijianliqiancongweiyongyouguodedongxi。

baozheshishidexintai,liqianjieshouledayedeposanlun,bingkaishibaitanshoumai。

jieguorangtadadieyanjing,maiwanyibaijianshangpinhoudeneitian,sanlunchededouliguozhenchuxianleqitadongxi。

qichushishiwankuaiqian,jiezheshichaopaocheyaochi,ranhouyoushihaohuabieshu,zuotianyoushidingshengdashadechanquanhetong。

xianzaideta,shenjiayijingchaoguoshiyi。

dangliqiankuaiyaobeijieerliansandaolaidejingxichonghuntounaodeshihou,tahuranfaxian,neiliangsanlunchelidehuowu,jingrannengzidongbuchong。

zheiyejiuyiweizhe,zhiyaotaxiang,jiunengyuanyuanbuduandecongsanlunchelihuodegengduodedongxi。

liqianhuaiyi,shiyourenbanyetoutoudejitabuchonglehuowu,bianzaishouzaisanlunchepang。kelianxujiwan,tadouhuibuzhibujuedeshuiguoqu,xinglaideshihou,sanluncheyijingbeisaidemanmandangdang。

shoushiwandongxi,liqianjiuyaoqichehuijia,zhunbeihaohaokankanjintiandejingxidaodishishenme。

youyushikaixue,xiaomenrenchaoyongdong,liqianjiannandeqixingzaiqizhong。

meizouduoyuan,renqunzhonghuanhuanshichuyiliangbaoshijie,zhenghaodangzaileluzhongjian。

liqiankanlekanliangce,faxianmaluliangpangtingmanleche,genbenmeiyoucuokaidekongjian。

baoshijiepaochebutinganlingcuicu,meibanfa,liqiandiaotouwanghuizou。

“砰!”

haimeidengtacaixiataban,baoshijiejiuyingshengshengzhuangleshanglai。

suiranchesubukuai,danrengranbaliqianchuangderenyangmafan,chedoulidehuowusanleyidi。

“哎哟!”

liqiancanjiaoleyisheng,rouroutongchulianmangzhanleqilai,kaishishoushidishangdehuowu。

“xiangbalao,nishizaizhaosima?wodoudaleduoshaocilabale,buzhidaoranglua!”

baoshijietinglexialai,dachelizouchulaiyigechuanzhedixiongrekudenvsheng,zoudaoliqianmianqianzhangzuijiuma。

tagangcaijiaoshaoshaosongleyixia,chezijiuwangqiancuanlechuqu,meixiangdaoquezhuangdaoleren。

haozaizheirenqideshiyiliangposanlun,hunshenyouchuandejiweiputong,kendingbushiyouqianren,suoyiyemeiyouxinlifudan。

liqiantaiqitou,yiliandejinge。

“nihaijiangbujiangli?nimeikandaowoyijingzairangnilema,nijingranhaizhuangshanglai,nizheishiguyizhaoshi。”

jianliqianhetajulilizheng,nvshengdelianshangshunjianlailehuoqi。

“woguyizhaoshi?nishibeishaishaleba,mingmingshinibukanlu,guyiwangwozheibiankao,wokannijiushixiangpengci!”

tingdaozheijuhua,liqianlianshangfuxianchuyisikuxiao,dunangdao:“bujiushiyiliangpobaoshijiema,zaiwokanlai,haimeiyouwodesanlunchezhiqian。”

nvrenqidehunshenfadou,zhizheshenhoudebaoshijieche,jiushuo:“xiangbalao,nizhidaozheiliangcheduoshaoqianma?sanbaiwan。gujibanimaile,doumaibuqiyigeluntai。”

liqianmeizailihuita,hezheizhongrenjiangdaoli,genbenmeibanfashuotong。

jianliqianbuzaihetazhenglun,nvshenghaixiangshuoxieshenme,quekandaoliqianzhengjianqileyidaduideneiyi**。

“aiya,yuanlainishigechouliumang,jingrantoulezheimeduodenvshineiyi**。”

“kuailairenna,zheiliyouliumang。”

nvshengdehua,shunjianxiyinlelurendezhuyi。neixieyuanbenzhejiganzhequbaomingdexuesheng,yedoufenfentingxialejiaobu,qiqichaozheibianweileguolai。

“huo,zheimeduonvshineiyi**,zheigemenerhaoshouduana。”

“zheirenchuandezheimehansuan,zhangxiangyouweisuo,meixiangdaohaishigeneiyidadao。”

……

“heihei,gemener,juelea,jingrannenggaodaozheimeduohaohuo。jiushibuzhidaoyoumeiyouxuejiede**a,xiongdiwoquanbaole,nikanzenmeyang?”

zhizeshengzhong,yigeshencaishouxiao,moyangweisuodenanshengqiaoqiaodecoudaoleliqiangenqian,cuozheshouduitajimeinongyan。

liqianmeihaoqidebailetayiyan,yemeilihui,shoushihaodishangdedongxizhanleqilai,dashengduineinvshengshuo:“guangtianhuaride,nikebieyuanwangren。wobaiditanshiweileqingongjianxue,zheibufanfaba。”

nvshengwanghoutuileyibu,shuangshouwuzhulezijidexiongkou,zhizedao:“wokannishijiaobian,nayourenbaiditanmainvrenneiyide。”

liqianbiebiezuiyouxiewunai,baiditanmaishenme,genbenbushitanenggoujuedingde。sanlunchelidehuowu,doushiyixienvrenyongdedongxi,youqishineiyi**zuiduo。

“niguanwomaishenme,nengzhengqianbujiuxingle?”

shuowanhua,liqianjiuyaotuizhesanlunchelikai。danzhouweiderenyuelaiyueduo,genbenmeiyoutongxingdekongjian。

tahuitoukandaoleneigedingzhechedoulidedongxi,yanshensemimidejiahuo。pailexiatadejianbang,shuodao:“xiongdi,bangwotaiyixiache,yihuierwosongnijige。”

liqianchongtashilegeyanse,neinanshengshunjianjiumingbaiguolai,xibuzisheng。

“hao,hao,hao,nishuozenmenongjiuzenmenong。”

nanshengshenchushou,jiubazhulesanlunchedechetou,liangrenyishijinger,chezijiubeitaileqilai。

gangxiangzou,queyoubeigangcaideneigenvshenglanzaileshenqian。

“zhanzhu,chouliumang,niwangnalizou?”

liqianlandehetajiuchan,raoguotajixuwangqianzou。

meixiangdao,cishimianqianyouduoleyigedaizhejinsibianyanjingdenanren。

“wei,xiangbalao,meitingdaoxueyanmeimeijiaonizhanzhuma?nizenmezheimemeiyoulimao?”