第1章 相亲走错桌子的兵王

叮!

电话**响起。

zhengzaidakeshuideqileishandianbandecongyizitiaoqilai。

伸手去腰间摸枪。

modaoyibandeshihoucaixiangqilai,zheilibushizhanchang。

tuirantanxiyisheng,naqidianhuashuodao:“haole,laoma,wodaole……”

guaduandianhuazhihou,qileiduizheshoujitanxi。

tajinnianershiliusui,tuiwusannian,zaiyijiasiqidangzhiyuan。

月薪三千三。

zheibu,laomadanxinzhaobudaoduixiang,congtuiwudierniankaishijiubangzhezijizhangluoduixiang。

xianzaizheishidijichangxiangqinjutayijingjibuqingle!

yaoleyaotou,qileizoudaokaochuanghudeyigezuoweipangbian,taiqitoukanleyiyanduimianzuozhedenianqingnvzi……

然后眼睛猛地一亮。

zheinvren,jueduidejipina。

maomeifubaidazhangtui,youqishineixiongkoudequxian,yikanjiushinanrenwufazhangwodezhu……

咳咳!

kanduole,qileideshixianluozainvrendeaimashishoudai,yijishoubianfangzhededaiyousangembiaozhidecheyaochishangmian。

tanxiyisheng,zhidaonvrenbuhuixiangzhongziji,tongshikaishizuoziwojieshao:“wojiaoqilei,ershiliu,tuiwubingyimei,yuexinsanqiansan,meifangzi,meichezi……”

neinianqingnvziyanjingyiliang,shixianluozaiqileideshenshang,mihuodiwendao:“nishi?”

“xiangqin,ninandaobushi?”qileifanwen?

“e!”nianqingnvziguguaideyixiao,ranhouzuozheziwojieshao:“wojiaolinxiyue,ershiliusui,hafogongshangxueyuanjinxiubanshuoshi,gerenzichanershiyi!”

shuowanzhihou,linxiyueyongwanweidemuguangkanzheqilei。

houzhenaolenaotoupi,jixugangadidao:“tingyiwaideha,meixiangdaowolaomajiwozhaolaizheimeyigechusedemeinv,neige,wojuedewomenlianggekeyijixulejieyixia!”

“wozheigeren,haishitingyouneixiude……”

qileiqishihenxianggaosulinxiyue,zijicengjingshilongguozhanbutezhongbuduidezongjiaoguanjianlongyabuduiduizhang。

绰号龙王。

cengjiheshi,longwangdemingzizaizhanbuneijiushiyikuaijinzizhaopai。

zhishiyinweiyixiewuqibazaodeshiqingcaituiwude……

buguo,yixiangduifangkendingkanbuzhongziji,zuoneitiangouganma,buruleiluoyixie。

yaoleyaotou,qileitaiqitoukanzhelinxiyue:“jibenjiushizheiyangle,meinvnikan,womenkeyichangshizhejiaowangyixiama?”

“wobaozhengkeyidangyigehegedenanpengyou……”

“nanpengyou?jiaowang?”linxiyueyaoleyaotou,zuijiaodoushiguguaidexiaorong,ranhouyongshouzhilezhikafeizhuopangbiandepaizi:“xiansheng,nikankannishibushigaocuoleshenme?”

qileikanxiangleneipaizi,suizhifaxianzijijingranbaliukanchenglejiu!

douguaizijiganggangshuihulunle。

dunshi,qileigangawubideqishen:“baoqian,baoqian,wozoucuole,duibuqi!”

shuozhe,qileijilinxiyuejuleyigong,zhuanshenlikai。

erlinxiyuezeshikanzheqileidebeiyingyaotoukuxiao。

buzhidaoweishenme,tahuranjianjuedeqileidebeiyingtingshuaiqide……

叮!

电话**响起来。

linxiyuejietongledianhua,jihutongshishensebiandeyansuqilai:“hao,mama,nifangxin,wojintianyidingdainanpengyouhuijia……”

guaduandianhuadetongshi,linxiyuekanxianglezuozaipangbianliuhaozhuodeqilei……

erhouzhezeshizuozaileyigeshencaimiaotiao,rongmaomeiyan,danshijuzhidabanhenshiqingfudenianqingnvzideduimian!

cike,neigenvzi,zhengyibianyongzhijiadaomozhehuahualvlvdezhijia,yibiantaiqitoubunaifandekanzheqilei:“meichemeifang,yuexinsanqiansan,nixiangshenmeqina?”

“shibushijuedewohaohunong,paozheililaidouwowanlaile?”

“meinv,zheiyangbuhaoba!”qileimeixiangdao,zijizuowanziwojieshao,zheiliuhaozhuodemeinvzhijiejiuzhale,biannaixindidao:“maimaibuchengrenyizaime?”

“renyizai,sheihenirenyizai?”neimeinvbishididao:“nizheizheizhongqiong**si,jiuhuogaiyibeizizhaobudaoduixiang……”

“jianniyimianwodouexinsantian……”

shuowanzhuaqishuibeijiuyaowangqileidelianshangpo……

nazhidao,zheimeinvdeshouqueshizhijiebeilingwaiyizhixianxianyushoujianzhule……

zhuanshendetongshiqueshikanjian,yishenxingganzhuangshu,yourugaogaozaishangdenvwangyiyangdelinxiyue,jingranhenshenqidechuxianzaileliuhaozhuodebianyuan。

tadeyanshenhuanhuandicongqileideshenshangyidongdaonvhaideshenshang。

“e,lin,linzong!”nvhaihuanhuanqishengangadekanzhelinxiyue!

“maxiaorou,jintianbushinizhibanme?nidegongzuozuowanleme?”linxiyueyuqibinglengdiwendao。

“shishishi!”maxiaoroujimanglikai。

nazhidaomeizouduoyuan,jiutingjianlinxiyueduiqileishuodao:“qilei,ganggangniwenwoyuanbuyuanyihenijiaowang,womeijihuida!”

“xianzaiwokaolvhaole,wotongyihenijiaowang,zuoninvpengyou!”

“keke!”maxiaoroukesouleliangsheng,xianxiebeibanleyigedagentou,zhuanshenyourenbuzhutoutoukanleyiyanqilei。

……

kafeiguanwaimian,qileiqiguaidekanzhelinxiyue:“neige,meinv……”

“biewuhui!”linxiyueshuodao:“jialicuideji,woganghaoyoubutaoyanni,jiudaihuiquyingfuyixialaoma!”

shuowanfangfoshidanxinqileibudayingyiyang:“dangranle,zaizheiqijianniruoshinengdadongwo,woyekeyihenijiaowangyixia,bijingwozhendemeiyounanpengyou。”

“bangbangmang,jianghujiuji……”

“neige,haoba!”qileidiantou:“zhishi,linzongniyeyiyang,zheiqijianruoshiwomamaneibian……”

“fangxin,wobangnigaoding!”linxiyueshuodao。

“chengjiao!”qileishenchushouxiangyaohelinxiyuepaishou。

buguo,tadeshixianluozailinxiyueneijiebaideyouruciqiyiyangdexiaoshoushangmianzhihouyousuolehuilai!

linxiyuemeiyouhetajizhang,ershiminzuiweiweiyixiao,zhuanshenzouxianglezijidemaibahe:“neige,qixiansheng,xianzaipeiwoqujianwoyeye……”

“zheimekuai?”qileiyouxiemengbile……

“meibanfa,woyeyebingzhongle……”

linxiyuedaizheqileilaidaolelinjiagongguan。

yijinmen,qileijiukanjian,yiloudedatinglimianbaimanlexiandaihuadeyiliaoqixie。

xianranzheiliyijingbeigaizaochengleyigelinshiyiyuanle!

qijianyigezhuguangbaoqi,zhangdewumeidongrendezhongniannvzicongloutishangmianzouxialai。

neinvziyijianlinxiyuejiujicudiwendao:“xiyue,ninanpengyouni?”

“zaizheili!”linxiyuezhilezhishenbiandeqilei:“tajiushiwonanpengyouqilei,zheishiwomama……”

linmamahenshisuibiandedaliangzheqilei,yanjinglimiandebiyiyishanershi,tongshiwendao:“zainagongzuo?”

齐磊刚要回答。

linxiyuebianqiangzhedao:“wogongsidezhiyuan!”

“xingle,zheibuzhongyao!”linmamameiyouzaikanqileiyiyan,ershilazhulezijinverdeshoushuodao:“niyeyehunmizhiqian,wohetashuoniyinhunle,huitouzhoushenyirangniyeyexingguolai,nibieshuoloule……”

“keshi,mama!”linxiyuejiaorangleyisheng。

“mashenmema,buzheiyangnengrangniyeyegaiyizhume,niyebuxiangniyeyedejibaiyijiachandouluozainiershutamenneibianba!”linmamashuodao。

“keshiwohetahaimeidengjini……”linxiyuegangadidao。

“huitoubuyigejiuhaole,zhiyaoniyeyehaiqingxing,zheibushishadashi!”linmamaxiangfangjianlimianzouqu。

linxiyueguyihelaomalikaiyiduanjuli,zhuanshenqianyidekanzheqilei:“baoqian,qingkuangyoudianfuza,womenkenengyaomashangdengji……”

“keke!”qileizaiyicishangxiadaliangzhelinxiyue。

shuoshihua,lengbudingdecongtianshangdiaoxialaizheimeyigemeidemaopao,jiacaiwanguandelaopo,qileihaishitingkaixinde。

danshiyouyixiangzheimeinvyagenjiubuxihuanziji,hezijidengjijiehunyeshizhishiquanyizhiji,neiyihoudemafanshierduolequlele。

bianlengjinglexialai,tongshiwendao:“youmeiyouqitabanfa……”

“you!”linxiyuetanxileyishengshuodao:“bawoyeyejiuhuo,neiyangjiubucunzaizhengduojiachandeshiqingle……”