jigeyuemeihuijia,womaduzilipingkongduoleyigeweichushengdedidi。
zhiyinweishiwobaergenziruan,zaiqinqidetiaosuoxiayangerfanglao。
wodachaoyijiahouhetamenduanjueguanxi,houlaiwobaqueguizaidishangqiuwohuijia。
1.
wobaergenziruan,chuanshuozhongdelaohaoren,zheishizhongsuozhouzhideshiqing。
pianpianzhiduiwohewomawoliheng,duiwairenshuohuakekeqiqi,huijiabianyuanxingbilu。
congxiaodaoda,zhiyaotajianeibiandeqinqishuodeshiqing,tajiugewaitinghuashangxin。
yiqianshenmetiqinqidanbaohaidaikuan,tingxintamentiaosuowuruchuanxiaozuzhijiubushuo。
qichuwohaijuedewomashigeshouhaizhe,zhidaoneiciwomacongwozuilipianchulediannaomima。
houlaiwoyexiangqingchu,yigebeiwoshuibuchuliangzhongren。
woshibasuigaokaoneinian,benlaifenshukeyibaokaoshengwaiyisuo985gaoxiaowangpaizhuanye,yingshengshengrangtajiwogaichenglebendideyisuoputongshifanxuexiao。
zhiyinweiwogugugentashuo:「nvhaizipaoneimeyuan,yidanrangtafeichuquchibangyingle,zhuaidouzhuaibuhuilai。」
「zaijiaxianchengzheibiandanggexiaolaoshi,gongzuowendingyouyoubianzhiduohao,zuizhuyaodehainengjinimenliangyanglao。」
jiuyinweizheijuhua,womatoutoucongwozheidedaolemima,youhewobahehuomanzhewotoutougailebaokaozhiyuan。
suirannanguo,xiangzhewobawomayangwoyichang,shunletamendeyisi。
zicongshangdaxuehou,wonulizhaoshixishuajianlitigaojidian,yinweizhuanyehexuexiaodeyuanyin,zuikaishilianshixidejihuidouzhaobudao,zhongyuzaibiyehounadaoledachangoffer。
wobenyiweihuidedaowobadekuajiang,sheizhidaofanerhuanlailetadexunchi。
zhiyinweigongzuodidianbuzaijiagenqian,yinqilewobadebuman:「haiburuzaijiazheibiandanggelaoshi。」
woguguyijiadangzhewodemiangonghuodao:「zheishengnvhaijiushibuxing,buyangye,paoneimeyuan,gongzigaoyouyoushenmeyong,nimenyougesanzhangliangduanmiandoujianbudao。」
yushiwobianyoulehaiweichushengde「didi」。
2.
wangsicongshiliusuizhidaozijishishoufuerzi,jieqingshuaiershiwusuizhidaozijijialishiyiwanfuweng。
woershibasuishuadouyincaizhidaozijiduolegejijiangchushengde「didi」。
wojiaoyinmengyao,shidushengzinv,buguomashangjiubushile。
上次回家还是过年。
shangmenjiqinqibainianshi,wogugudangzhezhongrenmianshuo:「mengyaozheimedalezenmehaibulinggeduixianghuijia,nvhaiziguosanjiumeiyaole,kedezhuajin。」
wozhualebaguazibiankebianshuodao:「zaizhuajinyebiganbushangbiaodi,tingshuobarenjianvhaiduzigaodale。」
kandaoguguliansebuhao,wojixudao:「gugunifangxin,dengwodazhizichushengwoyidingjibaogedabao。」
wobabawozhuaihuijiahou,bianshanglexin,yiqiansuiranzheji,zhishikoutoucuicui,woyonggongzuomangjiunengjiekoutuidiao。
zheicihuijiahoutabianhewomabianzhengtianzaiwoerbianniantaorangwozhaoduixiang,hainazhewodeshoujisiziyicixingjialeshiduogexiangqinduixiang。
「mengyao,niliaoliao,zheishinigugutuorenzhaode,wokanzhedoubucuo,nilaodabuxiaole,kedeshangshangxin!」
wobuxiangjiehun,lianliaodoulandeliao,yonggezhonggeyangdejiekoujujuelexiangqinduixiang。
「buhaoyisi,womenbunengjiehun,yinweiwomenshijinqin,womendouyouyigegongtongdemuqinjiaozhongguo。」
woyongfafengwenxuequantuileyiqunqipaxiangqinduixiang。
womayoupianwochuqu,shuoshirangwopeitaguangjie,guangzheguangzhebiandaoleyijiacanguan。
woguguchaowomenhuishou,wobianzhidao,tameibiehaopi,tuiwuketuiyingzhetoupijinqu。
guobuqiranyigemoshengnanzijiuzuozaitapangbian,shanglaibianpilipala。
duolipu,sanshisuilihundaiwa。
直接让我当后妈?
womazaitingdaoyoucheyoufang,bendibianzhigongzuo,bianyanjingfangguang,yebujieyierhun。
woquanchengbailan,ziranmeicheng。
huijiawobianbeiwobajiuzheerduoma:「nibujiehun,womenzenmeanxin,yangnidaodahaiburangwomenshengxin,nizenmezheimezisi!」
zisi?bujiehunjiushizisi?
tadexinsizhishixiangrangwozhaogebendidebagongzuoyici,huijiajitamenyanglaobale。
「我不想结婚!」
「bujiehunnimeihaizi,laolezhihousizaiwulidoumeirenfaxian!」
「zenme,nihewomasile,wofaxianleyoushayong,hainengjinimenfuhuo?」
「yuanyishengnizijisheng!」
wojiangwobaqidegouqiang,paoquwogugujiadatukushui,haimeidengtahuilaiwojiunazhexinglidinglejipiaohuilegongsi。
yiqianbeima:「dingzui,renle,ku。」
xianzaibeima:「limalikaijia。」
3.
直到那天。
woguimijiwofaxiaoxi:「ayihuaiyunle?」
「哪个阿姨?」
「你妈啊!」
suihoutabianjiangduanshipinfajiwo,shipinliwomadazheduzi,wobazhengpeitaquzuochanjian,didianzhengshijianeibian。
wojinnianershibasui,womaneigeniandaisuiranjiehunzao,keshitayeyijingsishiliusuile。
gaolingchanfuduoweixiantazijibuqingchuma,zijideshentiqingkuangyouduochabuzhidaoma!
wolimaqingnianjiafeihuijia,gangdakaijiamen,wojiuzaixuanguanchu。
tingdaowoguguzaiwojiagenwomashuo:「nitingwodejiuduileba,shuohuaijiunenghuai,nizheiduzijian,kendingshigenanhai,zheihuikeyouzhiwangle。」
wodemawodelao,wodeguaziwodeao!haizhenshiyouzhiwangle!
lianggemeiyouzhengshigongzuoderen,yemeiyoutuixiujin,zaiershinianqian,kaodalinggonggongnverdushu,haoburongyinverdushubiyegongzuole,lianggerencoucouqianzaixianlimailefangzi。
keyiyiyangtianniandenianji,zaiwogugudetiaosuoxia,juranxiangyaogeerzi。
suihoubianchuanlaiwomadeshengyin:「mengyaohaibuzhidaoni。」
wogugushuo:「buyongguanta,nimenliangtoutoubahaiziyisheng,tahuilaileyezhinengshayan,hainengbahaizijinimenliangsaihuiduzili?」
「zaishuolezhidaoleyedegaoxing,shenggedidijitahuanjieyanglaoyali,genghekuangnideduzi,nixiangshengjiusheng,guantaganshenme!」
wobayezaiyipangfuhe:「shia,shenggexianglixiangyiyangdeerzi,lijiajin,zhaogexifu,zanliangchenghuanxixia,duoxiangfua。」
wotuimenerru:「shia,duoxiangfua,xiangwobiaogeneiyangguaigeguniangjiujiehunle,zhijinmeijianguowoguguneiqinjiagongqinjiamu,quleyebeirenjiadachulaile。」
shafashangdejirenmanliancuoe,suihouwoneigugubuganshiruo:「nizheihaizi,shuohuazheimenanting!」
xianwoshuohuananting,nizuoshibieneimenankana!
woguguganjinbianlian:「mengyaozenmehuilaile?」
「zheibushiwojiama?zheilibaokuoduzilineige,sheishiwairensheibuqingchuma?」
jigerenmianmianxiangqu,liansenankan,kongqizhonggangadeqifenmanyan。
gangashenme?zaoxiaorendeshihougangalema?
wokaikoubianrangqifenyougangalejifen:「ba,nikezhenlihaia,xiandemeishichuqudadapai,bielaozaijiadigu,tingdasuishule。」
4.
「jirannizhidaole,womenjiugaosuniyisheng,wohenimadasuanshenggedidi。」
woyiyanbufa,wobawomayouxiehuangluan。
neishigaosuma?ruguobushiwofaxian,zhenxiangpingkongjiwobiangedidichulai。
tamenlianglejiewodepiqibingxing,jinggaowo:「zheihaiziwomenfeiyaobuke,nikebiedongshenmewaixinsi。」
waixinsi?wonengdongshenmewaixinsi?
shinengsilanwoneigugudezui,haishinengrangwoneiweichushidediditaisifuzhong。
wozhenshihenbudelimagenzheijiahuaqingjiexian。
zheinalishijiwoshengdidi,fenmingshiyaojiwoshenggeerzi。
lianggerendoukuaihuangtumaibanjieshenzideren,jiwozaochugedidi。
tuoliyanghaizizheimeduonian,zheiliangrenyagenmeipansuanguoxianzaiyangyigehaizidaodiyaohuaduoshaoqian,congchushengdaoshangxuezaidaobiyezhaogongzuojiehunshengzi,yaoyongduoshaojinglicailiqupeiyangyigehaizi。
wodingzhewomalongqideduzi,yebuzhidaoshijigeyuele。
woguguzaiyipangbangchen:「mengyaoa,nibamadoushiweilenihao,shenggedidijinifendanyanglaoyali,nimenyihouhaohuxiangfuchi,nizheihaizidongdianshi,shaorangtamendanxin。」
wolengxiao:「fendanyanglaoyali,guguzenmebugengufuzaishengyigejibiaogefendanyali?」
「nizheihaizi,zenmeyouyanbujin!」
raoshizheiyang,yesihaobutuirang:「wojiufangxiayijuhua,youtameiwo,youwomeita!」
wobabeiwoqideliansefaqing,neiyanshenlingli,sihushizaijinggaoworangwoshaoshuoliangjuhua。
womazaizuibiannieruzhe,youyuzhezuihouyeshiyijuhuameishuo,buguowodouxiguanle,zheimeduoniandoushizheimeguolaide。
xiaoshihoujialiqiong,napawokaoshanglewomenxianchengliweiyideyisuozhongdiangaozhong,wobahaishibeiwoguyingxiang。
wogujuedexiaoguniangduneimeduoshumeiyong,tongguwobarangwoshaonianshu,zaiguojinianzhaogehaorenjiasuanle,wochadianshangbushanggaozhong。
woquqiuwomarangtaquanquanwoba,rangwojixubashunianxiaqu,womazhishizaiyipangtoutoumoyanlei:「mengyao,tinghua,zanmenbunianle。」
tayifuyuwobazheimeduonian,wanquanmeiyoulezijisikaodulidenengli,zheigeshihouziranshizhiwangbushangde。
「woyangnizheimeduonian!gongnidushugongnishangdaxue,wohainengdongdanni,nixianzaigangenwojiaoban!dengwotanzaichuangshangnishibushidejiwomenrengchuqu!」
gongwonianshu?zheimeduonianliangrenyizhimeiyouzhengjinggongzuo,jiulianzaijiafujindechaoshi**yeshisantiandayuliangtianshaiwang。
wobaaihejiuaidapai,piqida,shenmegongzuodouzuobuzhangyuan,shangdaxuehouwojiuzaimeigenjialiyaoguoyifenqian。
xuefeishijiedezhuxuedaikuan,shenghuofeishizijishangxuezaigezhongbianlidian**,zijigongzijibiyehoukaishiwangjialimiannaqian,wobayaoqiuwomeigeyuedaqianhuijiawoyezhaozuo。
woxiangzhefumuyangwozheimeduonianyeburongyi,xianzaibuzhiyaoyangtamen,haiyaoyangtamendetuoyouping。
biyehouwobuxiangquganqianshaodejiaoshi,fanerjinlehulianwangdachangjiushiyinweixinzigao,napazaikuzaileiwoyebupa。
xianzaijiwoshenggedidi,hewozhijieshenggeerziyoushenmequbie。
「zaishuoyiju,youtameiwo,youwomeita,yaomedadiao,yaomewozou!」
wobazoushangqian,lunyuanlejilewoyibazhang,taxumanleliqi,naoziwengwengde,suihouwodelianshangshunjian**laditeng。
「wohenimahaimeiyongniyangni,jiugangenwomenjiaoban,chibangyingleshibushi!」
suihouzhuaizhewodetoufa,jiangwocongchajihoumianzhuaidaoshafashang,toupibeizhuaizhe,wozhengzhazhequehaishidongdanbude。
meifanyingguolaibianbeidiuzaishafashang,buzhidaoshinalizhaizhuaidiaoleyikuaitoupi,woyongshoumoqu,shunjianxianxueyongchu,shoushangnianhuhude,chuanlaixuexingdeweidao。
womazuozaiyibianhuzheduzi,taxianglairuci,wobadawoshi,conglaibuganshangqian,shengpaqianliandaotaziji,yejiushitazheifunuoruodexingzi,genwobaguodaoxianzai。
woguzaiyipanggengshiyifukanhaoxideyangzi,bietibangwoshuohua。
shunbiantianyoujiacudao:「chibangyingle,zhenshiguanbulele,douganweixierenle,zheidengnimenlaolehailede。」
wogubushangteng,chaoqichajishangdechagangxiangwogugushuaiqu,chagangkedaotadeyachishang,shunjiandiaoleyigemenya。
xueshunzhetadeyadizaiwojiaxuebaidedibanshang:「nizheihaizi,juranduiwodongshou……」