“ding，gongxisuzhu！chenggongwanchengrenwu，huodesuijichoujiangyici，jiangzaishimiaozhonghoufanhuixianshishijie。”
WTF？
十秒？
十秒钟能干吗？
tongyishike，zhibojianqiandeguanzhongyesisidedingzhepingmu。
要开始了么？
下一瞬间——
“砰……”
“嗷……”
yijiaozhixia，jifeidanda。
“nigechou……bujiangwude，jingrantouxi！nibushishuoyaobaodawome？”
“niyiweiwoshisansuixiaohaia，nonggezhenzideyingxianghaijiuxiangranglaoniangyishenxiangxu？laoniangtisini！”
【shuijuntonglingweizhubodashanghuojianyimei。shuijuntongling：xidapuben，shuishuihaishineigeweiwubunengqudeshuishui，zheiyijiaotidehao，gouzhubo，kannihaiganzhanwomenjiashuishuidebianyi。】
【gouzhubonihaiganshan？kanwojiashuishuishandianwulianbian，yibian，liangbian……】
【tongweinanren，wozhixiangshuoyiju：shuilaoshi，zaitiyibaibian。woqu，zenmeheipingle？gouzhubobeitisileme？】
……
“tengsilaozile，zheinvrenxiajiaozhenhen，gouxitong，xiacibieshimiaole，zhijiemiaohui。”
linhaobizhibojianzhongdeguanzhongdoujidong。
zheizhongteng，sheishisheizhidao。
“ding，gousuzhu，nizaizhoumabenxitongyiju，benxitongjiangquxiaogousuzhudejiangli。”
“aiyouwoqu，gouxitong，nihaiting……”
“ding，jianyugousuzhuduibenxitongbujing，gousuzhuzaizhibozhonghuodededashangjunbunengtixian。”
“nihaiganheilaozideqian？laozidoushoushangle，nigegou……”
“ding，jianyugousuzhuduibenxitongbujing，gousuzhuhuodedesuijichoujiang……”
沃曰。
随机抽奖！
林昊瞬间化身舔狗：
“buyaoa，gou……gousuzhudeweidadexitongdaren，nintingcuole，xiaodeshigegousuzhu，ninlaorenjiakeshizuiweidadequannengdexitong，heihei，weidadexitong，wodesuijichoujiang……”
“ding，suiransuzhupaimapideshuipinghencuo，buguobenxitongdarenbujixiaorenguo，suijichoujiangyifafang，suzhukeyisuishikaiqi。”
tingdaoxitongdehua，linhaoliandouxiaochengjuhuangdehuaduole。
终于保住了。
“zuiweidadexitong，neidashang，shibushiyeneng，heihei……”
“ding，xitongfabudejuedingbunenggenggai，buguo，suoyoudashanghuiyinimingfangshijuanzengjicishanjigou，tongshi，suzhudexinxiyejiangbeilieweijuemi，jiusuansuoyourendoujuedeshisuzhuzaizhibo，yejueduichazhaobudaorenhezhengju。”
zaozhidaobuneimejidongle。
buguo，juanzengchuquyehao，jiudangshijileifubaole。erqie，youxitongzai，kendingrihouyouzhengdaqiandejihui。
“系统，抽奖。”
“ding，gongxisuzhu，chouzhonghaoyunfuyizhang，haoyunfusuishenxiedai，monianshiyongbiankeshiyong。”
“haoyunfu：shiyongzhihou，yunqibaopeng，chixuyigexiaoshi。
beizhu：duboleiwuxiao，ruohaoyunfanbei，zehuichanshengqingweifuzuoyong。”
这不是废话么？
youlehaoyunfusheihaiquduboa，maicaipiaotabuxiangme？
buguo，caipiaohaoxiangyesuanduboba。
e，chulechoujiangheshuilaoshi，shibushihaiyoushenmeshiqingwangle？
linhaoxiayishideroulerouhounaoshao。
“suanle，mingtianzaishuo，xianzaishuijue，xiwangmenglimianshuilaoshihuiwenrouyixie。”
tongyishike，longguomoudujiajiudian。
tuiquanhoudenvxingshuijingkongzi，mengrancongmengzhongjingxing。
“yuanlaishigemenga，taizhenshile，meiyoushangdaorenheren。”
suiranzheimeshuo，shuijingkongzihaishiyouzhongyinyindeshiluo。
zaiyudaozheizhongchounanren，yidingyaoduotijijiao。
踢？
shuijingkongzilianmanglakaibeizi，kanxiangzijideyouzu。
zhijianyuanbenbaixidejiaoya，xianzaijingranyouxiexudeshuizhong。
“nandao，neigemengshizhende？suanle，mengzenmekenengshizhende？buguo，mengliwochuandeneijianyifudaoshihenbucuo。”
shuijingkongzinaohaizhongbuyoufuxianchuzijichuanfensediaodaiqundeyangzi。
“huoxu，wozhendehenshihechuanfense。”
dakaishouji，dengshangjingbaoduo，kaishisousuo，pingmushangshunjiandanchuleyilianchuandemingci——
“zhibojianshuijingkongzitongkuanfensediaodaiqun。”
tongshixiafanghaiyouyigewangyouluzhideshipinlianjie，diankaizhihou，shuijingkongzizhenjingdehuxidoujicuqilai。
keshi，zheixiebudoushizijideyigemengme？
weishenmehuibeizhibochulai？
kanzhehuamianshangbeizijitilezhihoubiequdexiaonanren，shuijingkongzirenbuzhulianseweihong。
“xiaonanren，nichenggongyinqilewodehaoqixin，dengzhe，woyidinghuidiaochaqingchuzheidaodishizenmehuishi。”
……
chuzuwu，shuimengzhongdelinhaojianxixidexiaozhe，sihaomeiyoufaxiandianshiyijingwushengkaiqi。
jiezhe，yigejiaoxiaodeshenyingcongdianshizhonghuanhuandipachu。
jiaoxiaodeshenyingxuanfuzailinhaomianqian，wuheidezhangfaxia，yishuangyouyuandemouzisisidedingzhelinhao。
“chouzhuren，huaizhuren，shuohaodezhaogurenjiayibeizi，jieguoyizhuanyanjiubarenjiawangle。”
“haiyaodangzherenjiademian，duineigehuainvrenyouhuaihuaidexiangfa，chulerenjia，qitanvrendoushihuaide。”
“chouzhuren，shuijuedouxiaodezheimehuai，kendingmengdaoleneigehuainvren。”
“buxing，jiusuanshizaimengli，chouzhurenyeshizhenzide。”
shuowanzhihou，huanhuandexuanfuzailinhaodeshangkong，yilvyouyilvdezhangfa，huanhuandijianglinhaoyanmei……
zheiyiye，linhaoshuideshi**。
chuntiandemengheemenglunfanshangzhen。
yihuimengdaolefengqingwanzhongdeshuilaoshi，gangzhunbeizuoxiuxiudeshiqing，xiayimiaojiushiyijiaotilai……。
suizheyishengcanjiao，linhaocongemengzhongjingxing。
zhengkaiyanjingdeshunjian，yishuangcanbaideyanzhuzizhengsisidedingzheziji。
“沃曰。”
jinghuyisheng，linhaozhijiecongchuangshangfanlexiaqu，yitunbuzuozaidishang。
bansuizhechuanlaidejutong，linhaoyezhongyuqingxingguolai。
kanzhezhengxuanfuzaichuangshangdezhenzi，linhaozhabaleyixiayanjing。
贞子？
zijideqiushengzhushou，zhenzi？
yuanlaizuotianwanshang，wangleguanyuzhenzideshiqingle。
kezhenzibushiqiushengzhushoume？zenmechuxianzaixianshishijiele？
“gou……a，neishaxitong，chulai，zhenzizenmechuxianzaixianshishijiele？”
“ding，gousuzhusuannifanyingkuai，zhenziyijingrenzhu，hesuzhubenshenjiushiyitide，suzhuzainali，zhenzijiukeyichuxianzainali。”
“ding，tebietixing，zhenzisuiranrensuzhuweizhu，keshiqueshidandudegeti，yongyouwanzhengdesixiang，yinweisuzhuzuowanshangduiyuzhenzidelengmo，zhenziyijingduisuzhuchongmanleyuannian，qingsuzhujishipingfuzhenzideyuannian，fouzexiayicizhibozhongkenenghuichuxianmouxiebukekongdeyiwai。”
好吧。
hexitongyouguanxidedoushidaye。
“xitong，nikeyiguianle。”
shuowanzhihou，linhaojichuxiaorong。
“xiaozhenzhenna，duibuqiha，zuowanshangwotaikunle，zhibojieshuwojiushuizhele。”
“nishuijueshiyinweiniduineigehuainvrenyouxiangfa。”
zheisheijiaxionghaizi，xiashuoshenmedashihua？
“keaidexiaozhenzhenna，nizaijialidengwo，wochuqumaihaoduohaochide，haiyoupiaoliangdexiaoyifuhaobuhao？”
“buhao，chouzhurenchuquyidingshiquzhaohuainvren。”
aiyouwoqu，zheixiaoguniangyidiandoubukeaile。
qiandinglewushubupingdengtiaoyuezhihou，linhaocaipingfulezhenzideyuannian，dayingguaiguaidezaifangjianlikandianshi。
熊孩子太可怕了。