第一章结婚
我父母是骗子。
tamencongxiaodaizhewosichuxingpian。
xiaoshihoupiandanchun,zhangdahoupianhun。
woyijingwangjilewopianguoduoshaonanren,pohuaiguoduoshaojiating。
zhidaowoyudaoleneigenanren,tarangwozhaodaolerenshengdeyiyi。
1
“jiranwomenshuangfangdoumanyiduifang,neiwomenjiutantancailiqianba。”
“wonverkeshihuanghuadaguinver,anzhaowomenneilidexisu,cailizhishaodeshierwan,haidepeisanjin!”
muqinyongzhejiansuankebodeyangzidingzheduifangyijiaren。
fuqinzeshiyifuheshilaodeyangzi,xiaohehedeshuodao:“zhouweizheigexiaohuoziwohaishihenxihuande,cailiqianhaoshuo,fanzhengwomenyezhiyouqiujuanyigehaizi,daoshihoudoushinimende。”
zheishitamendeguanyongjiliang,yigechanghonglian,yigechangheilian。
bujinrangduifangkanbuchurenheduanni,erqiehaihuijiaojiwubidetiaojinkenglimian。
wofeichangpeihedebiaoxianchuyifuyiyibushedeyangzi,zaimuqindeqiangpoxiabeizhuaizou。
zoudeshihou,haibuwangduizheneigejiaozhouweidenanrenansongqiubo。
zheishiwomenyijiarendeguanyoutaolu。
woyijingwanglezheishiwomenpiandedijigenanren。
congnandaobei,womenhuanlewushushenfen,xunzhaolewushumubiao。
meiyigexiashoudeduixiang,doushijingguozixidiaocha,moqingchuletamenyijiadexixinghejiadi,zuochuzhenduidefangan。
jibenshang,jiumeiyoushishouguo。
kezheiyici,womenquewupanleduifang。
2
anzhaoguanli,haiyouwomenduizhoujiadefenxi。
shierwancailiduiyutamenlaishuoshiyoudiangao,danshidongpinxicou,zaijieyidian,wanquanshimeiyouwentide。
youqishizhouweizheirenshishilibaxiangchulemingdeyangaoshoudi。
zhangzhezijidulejitianshu,jiuqiaobuqizheige,kanbuqineigede。
suoyixianglewushuciqin,doushiyinweitabujuededuifangpeibushangtaerjujuele。
zheiciweilegaodingzhouwei,wohaiteyinonglegedaxueshengdeshenfen,dulehaozhangyiduanshijiandegushici,nongdezijiwenzhouzhoude。
erqiehaiteyizhizaolehezhouweideouyu,rangtachanshengleduiwodeganqingzhihou,cairangshuangfangfumujianmiande。
keshimeixiangdao,shuidaoquchengdeshiqing,zhouweidefumujingranbudayingle。
“zou,ganjinzou,shierwanmeiyou,yifenqiandoumeiyou。”
zhouweidemuqinbiwomahaiyaopola,huiwuzheshou,ganzhewomen:“womenjiazhouweizheimeyouxiu,xiangyaojiaguolai,meirangnimennaqiandoushibucuole,haixiangyaowomennacaili,mendoumeiyou!”
neiyike,bawomenyijiadoujinongmengle。
jiulianqianxiandaqiaodemeipoyebuzhidaogaishuosha,gangadezhanzaineili,zhenggeliandouqingle。
benlaihaihaohaoshuohuadebaba,douxiangshibeidaleliangbazhang,qifendeyishuashou,daizhewolikaile。
zhiyouneizhouwei,zhejidexiangshireguoshangdemayi。
xiangyaolaizhuiwo,beitadefumujilanlexialai。
“youdianchuxi,meijianguonvrenma?”
“yinidetiaojianshenmeyangdenvrenzhaobudao,jiuzheihuose,haixiangyaoshierwancaili,zuomeng!”
“gungungun,ganjingun,yihoubielaile!”
3
womenyijiashibeizhouweidebabanazhesaobaganchulaide。
yaobushiwaimianyouwogekaichedengzhe,lazhewomenpaole,pashiyaoaishangjigunzi。
meipoyeshigenzhewomenyiqishangdeche,tazhenggerendouhedehunshenjuzhan。
zhidaochezikaidaolehenyuan,suoyourencaipingfulexinqing。
mamazhiwenzhemeipo:“huajie,nizheishizenmedatandexiaoxi?zenmehuizheiyang?”
“woyebuzhidaoa?”meipoliansetieqingdeyaozhetou:“yiqianneiliangkouzikeshijidebuxing,xiangzhaogeerxifu,weilerangwozhao,sailewobushaohongbao,haishuocailishadebushiwenti。”
“doushitaerzikanbuqi。”
“sheizhidaozheicitaerzikanshangle,taliangkouquebianle!”
“shibushitamenzhidaolewomendeshenfen?”woyihuodewendao。
chulezheigedaan,wozhendexiangbuchurenhededaan。
所有人都是一愣。
henkuaimamajiuyaoleyaotou:“bukenengde!”
“yaoshitamenzhidao,zenmekenenggenwomentanzheimejiu,zaojiuqubaojingle!”
“zheiqizhongyidingyoushawenti,shiwomenhulvelede!”
“huajie,nihuiquzhaorenganjindatingdating,kankandaodishizenmehuishi。”
“zheiciwomenhualezheimedadejiaqian,zuolezheimeduozhunbeigongzuo,yaoshijiuzheiyangbaifeile,keyoudiandiumianzile!”
womenjiangmeipofangxiazhihou,lijiganhuilelincunzudeyigefangzilimian。
zheilishiwomenweizhuangshenfendedifang。
“ba,ma,womenyaobuyaozanshilikaizheili,zhaogedifangduoqilai,kanqingchuqingkuangzaishuo?”
wohaishiyouxiebufangxin,danyoudewendao。
事出反常必有妖。
woparuguoduifangzhendeshikanchuleshenmeduanni,wanyibaojingdehua。
keshi,woganggangshuowan,gegejiuyibaqiazhulewodebozi,xionghendedengzhewo。
“nishibushigenneigenandeshuoguoshenme?”
4
woganjinpaidazhetadeshou,pinmingdeyaozhenaodai。
“womeiyou,woshenmedoumeishuo...keke......”
“nimeishuo,neinipashenme?”gegemeiyousihaofangkaiwodeyisi,fanergengjiayongliqiazhewo:“zaicheshangnijiuzaishuo,xianzaiyouzaiti,nizheimingxianshixinxule!”
bamajiuyilianlengmodezhanzaiyipangkanzhe,yezaidengdaiwodedaan。
tamenduiwodeqiling,wozaojiuyijingxiguanle。
congxiaodaoda,wodouxiangshigewairen,chulecuo,zongshizaizhaowodezeren。
napayoushihoushigegefandecuo,aidadeyeshiwo。
wojidebabadangchuanweiguowo,shuojializhongnanqingnv,rangworenzhedian,qishitamenxinlishiaiwode。
ranhouhuimaixieliwulaihongzhewo,woyemanmanjiuxiguanlezheizhongshenghuo。
shenzhiyoushihou,haihuihenqipanbeitamenshoushi。
neiyangdehua,wojiunengdedaowoxiangyaodedongxile。
zhishisuizhenianlingdezhangda,youqishizheixieniankaishipianhunzhihou,woyouxiebianle。
dangwuzhiwufamanzuwodeshihou,wokaishixunzhaojingshenshangdedongxi。
youqishicongxiaoshenghuozaizheizhonghuanjingzhong,dangneixienanrenzhenxinshiyiduinihaodeshihou,ninanmianhuiyousuogandong。
woyecengtiguohenduoci,buxiangzaipianxiaqu,xiangyaozhaogerenanwenguorizi。
dangshigegebaozoulewoyidun,chadianbawodajinleyiyuan。
zuihoubabazhaowotanleyigewanshang,shuoyaoshiyudaoheshide,huitiwokaolv,rangwojiaguoqu,ranhoutamenjiulikaile。
“chouniangmen,nishibushixihuanshangneigechouxiaozi,xiangyaodianlewomen,ranhouquguoanwenrizi?”
gegehenshifennu,qiazhewo,jiangwodingzaileqiangshang:“bushuolaoziqiasini!”
jiuzaicishi,fangmenbeituikai。
zhouweicongwaimianzoulejinlai,shoulihailinzhelipin。
kanjianwobeigegezheiyangzhuazhe,erhuameishuo,linzhedongxijiuduizhegegedaleguoqu。