第1章 举着个仙人掌砸脸

yuchunlouzuihaohuadebaojian,jiangtangzhanzhe,jieshouyizhongnannvhuowanweihuoxixuedemuguang。

“xiaotang,nijiupeiwohelezheigejiaobeijiu,rihouniyoushenmewentijinguankaikou,wobangni,zenmeyang?”

shuohuaderenmingjiaorenxun,qinglinchengwankuzidideqizhongzhiyi,qianxierizibanyenaoleshibeisongdaojizhenshi,duizhibandejiangtangjianseqiyi,wanquanbugujiangtangdexiangfa,yifansichanlandanaodeyiyuanrenjinjiezhi。

qianliangtianyoujiyiyuanjuanleyipiyiliaoqixie,ruobushichengjiaoshoudingzhe,yuanlineixielingdaozhichabajiangtangdabaohaosongdaotamianqian。

jiangtangduitashinengbizebi,buliaojintianchumenmeikanhuangli,jugehuihaizhuangshangle,jieguojiushibeitaqiangxingtuojinzheibaoxiang。

jiangtangzhizheyaoban,mianwubiaoqingdikaikou:“baoqian,wobuhejiu。”

renxunkanzhejiangtang,xiangyaozhengfudeniantoubudanmeitui,fandaoshiyufaqianglie,tajiuxihuantazheiguqingchunlengyandejing。

tatiaozhemeishuo:“nizheishibujiwomianzi。”

yibangliuxupaimaderen,xiangzhetaohaorenxun,yourenzhudongqishenjitamendaojiu,guyijijiangtangdaolemanmanyibei,haishigaonongdudebaijiu,mingbaizhexiangguandaota,xipixiaolianshuo:“jiangyisheng,youbushirangnipeishui,zhishihegejiaobeijiujiutishayaoqiudouxing,bierenqiudouqiubulaizheijihui,cuoguoleduokexi,dajiashuoduiba?”

huayinluoxia,manshidehongxiaoyufuyi。

jiangtangyanshendouranbianleng,zheihuiershouliruoshiyoubashoushudao,taxiangzhijiepoulezheigenanren。

renxuntixiaoyangnu,“quququ,jiunihuaduo!”taishoupailepaijiangtangdejian,“xiaotangnibiegentayibanjianshi,yihoutamensheiganqifuni,wobangnishoushishei!lai,zanmenhejiu!”

shuohuajian,tanazhebeizideshouzuoshiyaoraoshangjiangtangdebeiwan,jiangtangmeijitajihui,gebozhouyishou,bikaile。

任勋一僵。

jiangtangsuijipingjingshuodao:“hejiukeyi,danwoyouyigetiaojian。”

renxunyanshenyiliang,gaoxingdao:“hao,nishuo!”

jiangtangshuo:“zhiyaorenshaobaozhengyihoubuzaiduiwojiuchanbuxiu,wojiupeinihelezheijiaobeijiu。”

cihuayichu,baoxianglidunshiyaquewusheng。

jiangtangbujibuxu,“zenmeyang?chengjiaoma?”

renxunzhuijiangtangbeijuyebushishaxianwen,kexinzhidumingshiyihuishier,beishuochulai,haibeizhimingdaoxingshuoshijiuchan,youshilingyihuishierle。

zheijiangtangyebuzhidaonaerlaidexiongxinbaozidan,jianzhishijuzhegexianrenzhangzarenlian!zhongrenmianmianxiangkui,kanlekanliangren,jinruohanchan。

renxunmianziguabuzhu,yigaixianqiandeheshan,yanluxiongguang,tiaoxinbanshuo:“ruguowopianbuni?”

jiangtanggexiajiubei,“neihenbaoqian,shunanfengpei。”youtanranbusheng,“wojiubudaraogeweiyaxingle。”shuoba,zhuanshenwangmenwaizou。

zheixiachangmianhezhiganga,jianzhisiji。

renxunmeixiangdaotaganzheimezhibai,dangjinushangxintou,shouzhongdejiubeizhijiezazailecizhuandibanshang,sanzuoliangbuzhuishang,yibacheguojiangtangdeshoubei,jiangtatuohuishuaizaileshafashang。

jiangtangbeishuailegecuoshoubuji,zhengzhaqishenjiannumashengbijin:“cao!jingjiubuhehefajiu!laozijiubuxinzhibuleni!”

tapuxiangjiangtang,ranerhaimeipengdaoren,jiubeijiangtangyijiaochuaizaixiaofushang,houtuilebanbuyoubeiyingmianpoleyibeijiu。

jiangtangshoulizuanzhegekongjiubei,chenzheliansenumudengyan。

“wochenima!”renxunnashouguozheizhongqi,chedibeijideshiqulizhi,chongshangquqiazhulejiangtangdebozi。

zaichangmeirenbangmangzuzhi,jiangtangyebuzhiwangtamenhuichushouxiangbang,huangluanzhongshenshouzhuadaoyigejiuping,raneryourendedongzuobitagengkuai,“peng”deyishengzhaxiang,jiushuihunzazhebolixisuijiandaoletadelian,bozishangdelidaoyesuizhicheli。

renxunwuzhehounaoshaomaniang,touhaimeizhuanguolai,xiayikejiubeirenzhuazhetoufayizhuai,zhijiewangpangbiandedalishizhuoshanghenhenyizhuang。

zhuangjishengxiangqidetongshihaiyoujiupingdesuiliesheng,dalishizhuomianshangyouhongsedeyetiguguerliu,fenbuqingshihongjiuhaishirenxundexue,baojianlichongchizhelingrenzhixideweidao。

dichenlenglidesangyinxuxuxiangqi,“niyiwei,zheishisheidedifang?”

renxunpazhemeidong,buzhidaoshibushihunle,jiangtangmengshenguohoutaiqishixian,kanqinglenanrendelian,xintougedengyixia,dunshipingzhulehuxi。