第1章 穿越成肥婆

“xiushuwomingrijiuzhaorenxie。ninazhexiushu,gun!”

mingjiunianghoubeipengdaoqiangshang,dunshi**laditeng。

miaode,zheigenanren,liqikezhenda!

tongshi,daliangdejiyiyongrunaohai,mingjiunianglengzailedangchang。

tajingranchuanyuele?erqietianzhidaoyuanshenyouduochun!

mingmingshijingchengdajiazudedinv,quebeishumeisuoshi,bazijichichengleyigeliangbaijindefeipo,haixiangpataizidechuang,jieguotaizidechuangmeipashang,fanerbeisuanjipaletashenbianqinxinxiaotiecede,ranhoutaizidaotai,xiaotiecebeiliufang,youbukenjitaxiushu,tazhinenggenzhelai。

weilenadaoxiushuzaodianhuijing,yuanshenzaizheibianhandeliaodongzhidisimingnaoteng,haiqiannudaoqinshengerzitoushang,ririnvedai,yizhiyusansuideerzidaoxianzaihaibuhuishuohua,danxiaotiecechulemeicitanaodetaiguodeshihouyelimodaoheta,jiushisihuobujixiushu。

yuanshenbunenghuijinghaibeiweixie,yushiyibuzuoerbuxiu,xiangyaoqiasierzi,dusixiaotiece,danganggangqiazhuerzi,jiubeixiaotiecezhuangjian,nanrenbatawangpangbianyishuai,yuanshenjiuzheiyangguale。

ranhoumingjiuniangjiubeipochuanyueguolai。

mingjiuniangyukuwulei,tahaohaoyigeguojihuijishishiwusuolidegaojicaiwujingli,yankanzhejiuyaohunchenghehuoren,nianruqianwanzhirikedai,quebuxiangzaidujiadehaitanshangdalegeduner,xinglaijiuchuanyuechengjiakongchaodaidedaomeifeipo,mianduitazuochulaidezheiyidalantanzi。

xiaotiecelandeduokantayiyan——ruguobushierzishebudeqinniang,ruguobushidanxinerzirihoudongshimaiyuanta,tahuiyizhirongrenta?

danshixianzaikanqilai,tadacuotecuo。

taganggangjinmen,fenmingkanjiantachadianqiasiyeer!zheiyangdenvrenliuzheyebuhuizhidaohuigai!

mingjiuniangkanxiaotieceyanshenjueran,baozheerzidabuwangwaizou,gubudeshenmexingxianghejinchi,doudongzheyishenfeirou,paoguoqujiubaozhutadeyao,kudebitiyibayanleiyiba:“xianggong,xianggongwocuole!wozhendezhicuole!niyuanliangwozheiyici。”

kaiwanxiao,qianshenlinbuqing,tanaoziqueqingxingzheni!

likaixiaotiece,tazenmenenghuoxialai?

yuanshenzufushitaizidangdesiduitou,yaoshihaikenguanta,zenmekenengrangtabeirensuanjijiajixiaotiece,ranhoubandaoletaizi,rangtagenzhebeiliufangdaoliaodongzheiniaobulashidedifang?

suiranxiaotieceliufangqianbeifeileyoushou,dantachulaizhadao,xiangyaohuoxiaqu,bixubaojinzheitiaodatui。

xiaotieceyanedikanzhezheituanguazaitashenshangdefeirou,youqikandaotabitiyanleidoucengdaozijishenshang,erzizaihuaizhongdouyaobeitajidao,bukeqidibokaita,lenglengdidao:“mingjiuniang,niyouxiangshuashenmehuazhao!nibushiyizhixiangyaoxiushudema?”

mingjiuniangnengqunengshen,“xianggong,wocongqianshizhuyoumenglexincaixianglikainide。woyihoudoutingnidehua,nirangwozhanzhewojuebutangzhe,rangwoxiwanwojuebushuaguo,nijiuliuxiawohaobuhao?”

xiaotiecemiansetieqing,muguangyoushen,jianmeijincu,xianranbingbuxiangxintadehua。

mingjiuniangzhongyukanqingchuletademianrong,yekanqingchuletaejiaoyougeqingsedecizi“zui”。

neibingbuciyan,fanerrangtadeyinghanqizhigengtuxianchulai。

xiaoyekanzhemingjiuniang,yaozhexiaozuichun,suiranhenhaipa,danshihaishishitanzheshenchushoulaititacalei。

明九娘哭得更凶了。

——zheimehaodehaizi,beinvedaichengzheiyanghaiguzheniang,yuanshenliangxinshibeigouchilema?

bu,tagenbenjiumeiyouliangxinjigouchi;ruguoyou,yeshigoudoubuchi。

xiaotiecekanzheerzidejudong,liansedunshiyouxiesongdong。

mingjiuniangyanbabadikanzheta。

zheishihouwuwaiyoushengyinsiwujidandixiangqilai。

“feipozheishishouleshenme**?”

“sheizhidaoni!buzhidaoyoudashenmeguizhuyi,xiangyaopiantiejiangni!”

明九娘炸了!

谁他娘的这么贱哪!

pazairenjiamenkoutingqiangjiaohaizheimeduohua,xiaotieceyaoshitingjian,bujiugengyaoxiuletalema?