wosile,sizaijiehunjinianridangwan。
zaizhengyan,wochengleyizhibuoumao,zhengbeiwodexiongshou,yejiushiwoneishenqingkuankuandezhangfu,wenroudibaozaihuaili。
tayibianfumozhewodemao,yibianduiwozuihaodeguimishuo:「biepa,zheicideyaoliang,jueduiwanwuyishi。」
wojiaolinwan,shengqianshigeren,xianzaishizhimao。
jutilaishuo,shiyizhijiazhisanwankuai,xuetongchunzheng,yanruxingchendahaidebuoumao。
erbaozhewodenanren,shiwojiehunsanniandezhangfu,shenzhou。
tazhengyongneizhangcengrangwowushucichennidejunmeilianpang,shenqingkuankuandicengzhewodelianjia,shengyindichenerbeitong:「wanwan,nizenmejiuzheimezoule……liuxiawoyigerenkezenmeban?」
tayankuangxinghong,leishuiqiadaohaochudigunluo,dizaiwopengsongdemaofashang,wenrede。
ruguobushiyixiaoshiqian,woqinyankanjiantajiangwusewuweideduyaotuijinwodejingmaishuyeguan,wokenengzhendehuiweizheiyingdijibiedeyanjiguzhang。
e,duile,tahuailihaibaozhewodeguhuihe。
erwo,linwanbenzun,zhengyiyizhong「linghunzaichang,roushenchenghe」deguiyixingshi,pangguanzhewozijidezangli。
wohoulonglifachu「gulugulu」deshengyin,zheishimaobiaoshishushidefangshi。danwoqishixiangtu。
wozhengzhaleyixia,xiangyongwoxindede、fenglidexiaozhuazi,zaitaneizhangxuweidelianshangliuxiajidaoaideyinji。
kewogangyishenzhua,jiubeipangbianyizhishouwenroudianzhule。
「xiaokelian,gangdaoxinjia,biehaipa。」
zheishengyin,woshuxidaoguzili。
shiwodehaoguimi,shenzhoudeqinmeimei,shenyao。
tachuanzheyishendetideheiqun,huazhejingzhidedanzhuang,meiyanjiandaizheqiadaohaochudeaiqi。taxiaoxinyiyidicongshenzhouhuailijieguowo,dongzuoqingroudefangfowoshishenmexishizhenbao。
「ge,nibietainanguole,saozizaitianzhiling,yebuxiwangnizheiyang。」taroushenganweizheshenzhou,yanboliuzhuanjian,quedaizheyisibuyichajuededeyi。
shenzhoushunshiwozhutadeshou,manyanganji:「yaoyao,xiexieni,zheiduanshijianyaobushinipeizhewo,wozhenbuzhidaogaizenmechengxiaqu。」
wobeishenyaobaozaihuaili,shijiaowanmei。
wokanjiantamenjiaowodeshuangshou,muzhizaiduifangshoubeishangaimeidimosuo。
weiliyoushiyizhenfanjiangdaohai。
这对狗男女!
woshengqianshiguoneixiaoyoumingqidexuanyimanhuajia,yongyoujibaiwanfensi,banshuihezhoubianshourubufei。ershenzhou,shiwodaxueshidexuezhang,yigemeishenmemingqidediaosujia。
suoyourendoushuotapeibushangwo,danwoaicanletaneifuyouyuyishujiadefaner,bugufumufandui,yiranjuerandijiajileta。
hunhou,wobaolanlejialideyiqiekaixiao,zhichitazhuiqiuyaobukejideyishumengxiang。
wodeguimishenyao,zongshizaiwoerbianshuo:「wanwan,niduiwogetaihaole,tashangbeiziyidingshizhengjiuleyinhexi。」
xianzaikanlai,tamenxiongmeiliangcaishishangbeiziyiqizhaleyinhexideemo。
wobinglesangeyue,yizhonghanjiandexueyebing,yishengshuoyouzhiyudexiwang,danfeiyonggaoang。
wobasuoyoujixudouqulechulai,jiaojileshenzhou。
jieguo,wodebingyuelaiyuezhong。
zhidaozuihouyike,wotangzaisirenliaoyangyuandebingchuangshang,kanzheshenzhoujiangzhenguantuijinshuyeguanshi,wocaimingbai,wodebing,huoxugenbenjiushiyichangjingxincehuademousha。
erwodeqian,kongpameijifenyongzaiwodezhiliaoshang。
「ge,zheizhimao……zhendeyaoyangzaijialima?」shenyaobaozhewo,zhuangsidanyoudiwen,「wanyinikanjianta,jiuxiangqisaozi……」
「jiushiyaokanjianta,cainengshishikekedoujizhewanwan。」shenzhoudeshengyinchongmanle「shenqing」,「zheishitashengqianzuixiangyangdemao,woteyituorencongguowaikongyunhuilaide,hualehaoduoqianni。kexi,tameidengdao。」
我呸!
woqueshixiangyangmao,danwoshuoguowoxihuanjiediqidezhonghuatianyuanmao,zuihaoshinengzhualaoshudeneizhong。
zheizhijiaodididebuou,fenmingshishenyaozuixihuandepinzhong。
wogandadu,zheimaojiushitatiaode。yongwodeqian。
「ge,nizhenhao。」shenyaogandongdeyanquandouhongle,「jiushi……woyoudianguomin,niwangle?」
shenzhoulikejinzhangqilai:「yanzhongma?yaobu……womenhaishibatasongzou?」
「bie!」shenyaolianmangyaotou,lianshangdaizheshengmubandeguanghui,「saozizuihoudeyuanwang,wozenmenengyinweizijizheidianxiaomaobingjiupohuaini?meishide,wochidianyaojiuhao。zhiyaonengpeizhege,rangwozuoshenmedouyuanyi。」
haoyiduojiaoruoyoujianqiangdebailianhua。
worenwukeren,zhangzuijiuchaota**deshouwanyaolexiaqu。
「miaowu!」(qusibani!)
raner,wogaoguleyizhiyoumaodeyaoheli。
zheiyikouxiaqu,duishenyaolaishuo,dagaijiugenbeiwenzidingleyixiachabuduo。
ta「aiya」yisheng,songkaileshou。
woxianggemaoxianqiuyiyanggunluozaiditanshang。
shenzhoulikechongguolai,jinzhangdijianchashenyaodeshouwan:「yaoyao,nimeishiba?youmeiyoupopi?zheixiaochusheng!」
tazhuanguotou,yanshenyinlengdidingzhewo。
neiyanshen,hewolinsiqiankandaodeyimoyiyang。
wohunshendemaodouzhaleqilai,bushiyinweihaipa,ershiyinweijizhidefennu。
他想杀我。
一只猫。
「ge,bieguaita,tazhishizhixiaomao,shenmedoubudong。」shenyaoyoukaishibanyantaderenjiantianshile,「kenengshiwonongtengtale。」
tadunxialai,shituzaicibaowo。
wocizheya,houlonglifachuweixiede「ha——」sheng。
jiuzaizheishi,menlingxiangle。
shenzhouqukaimen,menkouzhanzheyigechuanzheheisexizhuangdenanren,shiwodelvshi,licheng。
「shenxiansheng,jieai。」lilvshibiaoqingyansu,「guanyulinwannvshideyichan,womenxuyaotanyixia。」
shenzhoulikehuanshangbeitongdebiaoqing,jianglilvshiqinglejinlai。
shenyaobaozheshoubei,zhanzaiyibian,yanshenliquetouzheyisijinzhangheqidai。
tamenyiwei,wosuoyoudecaichan,baokuowodefangchan、cunkuan,yijiweilaiyuanyuanbuduandebanquanshouyi,doujiangshunlichengzhangdichengweitamendenangzhongzhiwu。
wopazaiditanshang,lenglengdikanzhetamen。
meicuo,anzhaofalv,shenzhoushiwodediyishunweijichengren。
dantamenbuzhidao,wolinwan,yigehuaxuanyimanhuade,zenmekenengbujizijiliutiaohoulu?
wosiqianyizhou,jiuyugandaolebuduijing。
womanzhesuoyouren,xiugailewodeyizhu。
lilvshidakaigongwenbao,quchuleyifenwenjian:「shenxiansheng,genjulinwannvshizuihouyifen,yeshiweiyiyifenjingguogongzhengdeyouxiaoyizhu,tadesuoyoucaichan,jiangyoutadechongwu——yizhimingjiao『baofu』demaojicheng。」
ketinglisiyibandejijing。
shenzhouheshenyaodebiaoqing,xiangshibeileipiledehuohuashi,jingcaijuelun。
lilvshiqingleqingsangzi,buchongdao:「yizhushangtebiezhuming,zheizhimaodetezhengshi:juse,gongmao,meixinyouyicuobaimao,xinggehuopo,nengchinengshui。」
tadunledun,tuiletuiyanjing,muguangsaoguowozheigexuebaixuebaidebuou,yousaoguoneiduishihuadegounannv。
「qingwen,『baofu』zaina?」
shenzhoudelian,congshabaizhuanweitieqing,youcongtieqingzhuanweijiangzi。
tasisididingzhewo,fangfoyaozaiwoshenshangdingchugedonglai。
erwo,yizhirouruowugudexiaomaomi,neixinyijingxiaodaodaming。
meicuo,woqueshiyouzhimao,jiao「baofu」。
yizhiwoconglubianjianlaideliulangdaju。
zaiwoyuganbumiaoshi,wobatasongdaolewozuixinrendechongwuyishengneilijiyang。
erxianzai,wo,linwan,yigeshenjiaqianwandefupo,bianchengleyiqiongerbai,shenzhijijiangbeisaodichumende「xiaosanmao」。
erwodechouren,zhulandashuiyichangkong,haiyaomianduiyigejijiangshangmen、jichenglewosuoyoucaichan、mingjiao「baofu」de……qingdi?
zheiqingjie,kebiwohuaderenheyibumanhuadouyao**duole。