第一章无声
我自小被周家收养。
zaiershiyisuishijiajizhoushuyan，shengxialezhoumiaomiao。
xianzaiwoershiwule，shitamenfunvkouzhongshencaizouyangdehuanglianpo。
zhoumiaomiaohezhoushuyanhenxiang，zongshimuzhongwurenyoubadaoqiangying。
cengjingwohuiweitamenfunv**jingzhideyirisancan，yuntangyiwu，anxinzaijiadanggequanzhitaitai。
kedangwomaicaihuijia，kanjianzhoumiaomiaohezhoushuyanbeizhewotoutouchiwaimaihou。
我忽然有些累了。
dangzhoushuyanshoudaofayuanfalaidelihunsusongwenjianshi。
tafanzaodixianwoduoshi，“zheimeduonianlenizenmehaizheimexiaoxinyan！jiuyinweiwomenzaocanchilepanlachaoniurou？”
“dui，jiuyinweizheige。”
......
“nilaiwojiadeshihouyijingqianguohetongde，womenjiafuzeyangni，nifuzejiajiwo。”
“你现在要反悔？”
zhoushuyanningzhemeitoubuyuedikanzhewo，shibushidihaiyaokanyiyanshouwanshangdeshoubiao。
tabujuedewoshirenzhende，zhiyiweiwoyoudaolemeiyueyinaodeshihou。
zhishizheiyicinaodeyouxieguohuoeryi。
wojiangzaoyizhunbeihaodewenjiantuidaotademianqian，xinqingchenjidikaikou，“wowuyuanwuhuidisihoulenimenzhoujiashijinian，yesuanshihaiqingnimendejiuzhuzhienle。”
“zhiyuzhoumiaomiao，tashinidexuemai，wobuxianghetayourenheguanxi。wohuifangqitadefuyangquanjingshenchuhu。”
woyijingyanjuanle，leile。
meiyidinishuiheouchouwodoubuxiangzhanbian，wozhixiangganganjingjingdilikaizheigewozhengzhalexujiudezhaoze。
zhoushuyannaqiwonidingdelihunxieyiculvedisaoleyiyan，mianlujifengdidaqudao，“yifenqianbuyao，jingshenchuhu？xilewozhoujianeimeduoniandexue，jiuganxinzheimezoule？”
“niyimeiyouxueli，ermeiyouwencai，jiulianrongmaoyeshipingping，likailewoninengshenghuoxiaqu？bienaole，nixianzaigaosuwonishizaikaiwanxiao，wojiudangshenmedoumeifasheng。”
tashensedandandijiangbaizhiheizidewenjiansisui，shaoweifanghuanleyuqi，“yihuiermiaomiaoyaofangxuele，biewanglejietahuijia。”
woditoukanzhebeidiuzailajitongdezhizhang，zichaodixiaolexiao。
zhidaoxianzai，tahaishitukongzhiwo，biandiwo，dayawo，puawo。
taconglaidoubuhuichengrenzijideguocuo，yebuhuijieshouwozhishiyinweiyipanlachaoniurouerlikaita。
qiantianshizhoushuyandedaxuetongxuejuhui。
woqujietashi，yituikaimenxuannaocaozadeyinlezhendiwowuzangliufudounuoleweizhi。
wangrizhoushuyanweileweihugongsixingxiang，huizairenqiankeyidibaochishenshifengdu。
erwohetadefuqiganqingsuiranbushen，dantazhishaohuizairenqianjiwogemianzi。
kezhishiyinwochongzhewozaizhoushuyanhuailidelinwanduoshuoleyiju，“linxiaohua，zhoushuyanyijingshiyoufuzhifule，mafanlinxiaohuabaochiyixiajuli。”
tabianturanshuailewoyibazhang。
turuqilaidebiangurangzhenggebaoxiangdouanjinglexialai，wodelianjiashunjianhongzhongleqilai，yiwuzidedenghuojiulvzhong，dajiafenfenshanglaidayuanchang。
zhoushuyanyaohuangzhechongwozoulai，meiyanzhongmanshifanzao，“shenchenchennidejiaoyangni？buguanzenmeyangdoushixiangbalao，huadoubuhuishuo。”
“yihouzaiwaimiannibieshuorenshiwo，zhenshidiulian。”
beiwocongyoueryuanjiehuilai，haimeilaidejisonghuijiadenverbazhemenfengwangwuneikan，tingdaobabazebeidehuahouyechongwodahan，“mama，nizhendeshitaimeiyoulimaohejiaoyangle！”
zhidaowodaizhenverxianhuilejia，zhoumiaomiaohaizaidiediebuxiudishuo，“wojuedelinayijiuhenhaokan，tabinigengshihedangwodemama。”
jianwoshenqingbuyue，zhoumiaomiaoyoudongzuoqingroudikaozaiwodejianbangshang，bianjiedao，“mama，wohuluanshuode。nikanni，wokaiwanxiaohaishengqile。”
bukuishiliuzhezhoushuyanxuemaidehaizi，hetababayigemozikechulaide。
dagebazhangjigetianzaochi，zongshixiguanxingdishitanwodedixian。
tamenxihuankanwobeirenaodiyangzi，jianwoshengqileyoufuruananshiwo，“nikan，nijiushiyigexiaodujichangderen。”
......
womeizaihetajiuchan，zhuanshenquxingli。
lihunlengjingqixuyaoshijian。
zaizheilishenghuoleneimezhangshijian，wonengdaizoudezhiyoujijianxidefabaideyifuhepojiudelaodiannao。
kanwoshenmedongxidoumeiyoudaizoudeyisi，zhoushuyanyikaozaimenkuangpangchixiaoleyisheng，“yanxihaiyandetingxiang。”
“jirannixianglihun，neiwojiupeiniwanwan。shenchenchen，kebiedaoshihouzaikubizi。”
zheiyiciwomeizaibeitajinu，ershishensepingjingdizhuanshenzhishita，“woxianglaishiyigedaduderen，nadeqifangdexia。”
bijingyigelajizaiwoyanli，haibuzhiyunengyinqiwodeqingganbodong。
zhoushuyanxiangshipeiwowannile，zhuanshenbianjinleshufang。
yinweitajianxin，likailetadewogenbenhuobuxiaqu。
congqiandangwoxiangyaotaolishi，wuneilingsuidewupin，daiyoushenghuoqixidejiaju，haizidewanju......douxiangwushugechushoujiangwosisikongzhizhu。
wobushedezheige，bushedeneige。
现在。
wopingjingdesaoshileyiquan，faxiandangchunabuqifangbuxiadedongxi，yebuguoshixiewoyongbushangdedongxi。
dangwozhunbeilikaishi，zhoushuyanyoulanzhulewo，“miaomiaoshuojintianyoujiazhanghui，nibiewanglequ。”
“taqidailehenjiule，tingshuozuijinkaoshikaodebucuo。”
wotaiqitou，tuikaitalanzaimianqiandeshou，“nishitadefuqin，niqujitacanjiajiazhanghuiba。”
zhoujiarenyoubushisiguangle，zhoumiaomiaohainengquewozheigeqinren？
maichudamenshi，congcongcongzijifangjianlipaoxialaidezhoumiaomiaozhuaizhewodeyibaibusongshou。
tadelianshanghaiyouyinlajiaoheniurouerguomindehongbanshuipao。
buguoshiyinweilinwandeyiju，“wozaiwaiguojingchangchilajiaoheniurou，xiaciqingnimenfunvyiqichi。”
zhoushuyanbianyidazaojiudaizhezhoumiaomiaodianlewaimai，shenzhizhidaowohuishengqi，haizangzaiciwoliyiqitouchi。
woqingchudijidezhoumiaomiaoyibianhuhazhehongzhongdezuichun，yibianxunwenzhoushuyan，“baba，nishuodezhiyaowojingchangchiniurouhelajiao，wojiubuhuiguominle，duima？”
“niruguoxiangyaoranglinayikaixin，jiudekefu。buranzaicanzhuoshangguominjiutaishilile。”
yidayixiaodaizhemanlianshuipaodachitechi，wanquanjiangwodedingzhupaozainaohou。
“mamaniqunali！woyaorangnijiwokaijiazhanghui！babaxuyaozhuanqian，wobuyaotaqu！”
wotanlekouqi，yigengenjiangtarouhuhudeshouzhibaikai，dunxiashenlaiyiziyijujiaodaidao，“yihoutingnibabadehua，wodehuajiubuyongtingle。”
shuowan，wobuguzaishenhoukunaodezhoumiaomiao，zuoshangzaojiutinghaodechuzuche。
zheigewohuaitaishiyue，pengzaishoulipashuailehanzaizuilipahualedehaizi，wozhongjiushishedefangxiatale。
......
wodaxuexuedeshijisuanji。
dangchuyinweizhoumamadeyiju，“nineigexilinanshengtaiduole，biexuele。zaishuomiaomiaoyexuyaomama，biebajinglilangfeizaibuxianggandeshiqingshang，zhuanqiandeshiqingzhoushuyanganjiuxingle。”
wojiubeipocongxuexiaolixiulexue。
houlaiwozaijialixixinzhaoguzhetiruoduobingdezhoumiaomiao，shengpayigeshuhurangtashoushang。
erzhoushuyanweileweihugongsixingxiang，conglaibudaiwozheigejiatingzhufuchuxihuodong。
quanzilidouzhidaozhoushuyanjiehunle，kequebuzhidaozhoufurenshishei。
huanjuhuashuo，sheidoukeyishizhoufuren，zhiyaozhoushuyanchengren。
zheixiewodoubuzhidao，wozhiyimenxinsiweileyirisancandeyingyangdapeibenzouyucaishichang，weilehaizidechengjiouxinlixue。
zhoujiademeigerendouzaiyaoqiuwo，zhoumuxiwangwoshiyigegujiadeqizi，zhoushuyanxiwangwoshigehegedeqizi，zhoumiaomiaoxiwangwoshiyigerangtajiaoaodemama。
可我却忘了成为我。
wocengtingzhoushuyanzuiqinjindepengyoumendaquta。
“zhouge，nishuonizheinianshaoyouweide，peigezaokangzhiqiyetaiburuliuleba。”
“takanqilaipingpingwuqide，nizhendexiadequshouma？wozheizuijinwuselejigeshencaichaodingdemote，rangtamensihousihouni！”
“biea，sheibuzhidaozanmendaxuedelinxiaohuahuiguole，zhouzongzheishititashoushenruyuni。”
dangshizhoushuyanbawanzheshouzhongdejiubei，yanshenhuisenandong，“hebierenzaiyiqiwobufangxin，bijingshicongxiaoyangqilaide，yongzheanxin。”
buguozhiyuweishenmehoulaitayouhelinwanjiuchanzaiyiqile，wobuzhidao。
dagaishizhoushuyanyinglaidierchunleba。
meicixiyifushiwodounengwendaozhoushuyanyilingchunongyudexiangshuiwei。
linwandiyicilaiwojiashidaideliwu，shiyikuanxiangshui。
就是这个味道。
xianzaiyoushijianzhongxinshiqikebenle。
xinghaoxiuxuedeshijianbuzhang，wobujiaohaoxuefeihoujiubeifendaolesushe。
shoushiwanyiqiehou，woxialouguanlerenaodebuxingjie。
qingchunyangyidenvshengsanliangjieduidiguangzhejie，tamentaolunzheshixiazuiliuxingdeshishang，biaoqingzixineryangguang。
wojianjiandiyexiangqilai，woyebuguoshigeershiwusuidenvhaieryi。
meixiangdaoyizhouhoudezaozixi，wojiedaolezhoushuyandedianhua。
tadeyuqijizaobansuizheyizhenxisufanzhaosheng，“miaomiaolianshangquanshihongzhenheshuipao！youmeiyouguominyao！”
wozaixindilengxiaoleyisheng，“taduiniurouhelajiaoguomin，nibuhuibuzhidaoma？”
“woyiweitahewoyiyang，meiyouneimelihai，keyikefude！”
“suoyinixianzaijiwodadianhuashi？”
dianhuaneitouzhoumaleyisheng，yuqizhongmanshizebei，“ruguonihaohaozhaogutatayebuhuiguomin！nishuonimeishinaoshenmelihun？”
womeishuohua，zhijieguaduanledianhua。
bijingzaozixi，zhouweidetongxuedouzaixuexi，wodashengdadianhuataimeiyoulimaole。
shouqilaidedianhuachenjilejimiaohouyouzhendongleqilai，sihuzaizhiwenwoyoushenmeshilikeyiguaduantadedianhua。
bijingcongqianwokeshisuijiaosuidao，24xiaoshiquantiandenghoudebaomu。
wolaheiletadehaoma，zaicitourudaozhishidehaiyangli。
qianpaibuduandanaodeenaiqinglvrangwonaohailifuxianchugezhongcengjingdehuamian。
wogangdaozhoujiashi，duiwochuchuguanxindezhoushuyan。
chuzhonggaozhongyizhibangwobuxi，peiwoaoyedezhoushuyan。
dianyingyuanliwuzhuwodeyanjing，shenqingwenwodezhoushuyan。
......
yiji，duiwoyanjuanledezhoushuyan。
suizhexiake**dexiangqi，wogenzheyuyuederenqunzouchulejiaoshi。
gangxiangnaqishoujijishitangdechuangtaijiezhang，yizhenmoshengdelaidianyintiaozhuanchulefukuanjiemian。
wokanzhemoshengdehaoma，limaodixunwenleyisheng，“nihao，qingwenninshi？”
“ninhao，woshishizhongxinyiyuandemenzhenyisheng。qianyiduanshijianwojininnverkaileyixiezhiliaoguomindeyaowu，kezheicilaifuchafaxiangengjiayanzhongle。haizibababuqingchushiqingdejutixijie，tashuokeyixunwenni，qingwenninkeyishuoyixiahaizizhiliaoqijiandejutishixiangma？”