第1章 我穿成了恶毒老太婆?

“niang,ninxianzaiganjueruhe,yaofouqinggedafukankan?bushufuyidingyaoshuochulai,shenzishizuizhongyaode。”daerzibozhaofuguizaidishang,muguangkenqiediwangzhezuozaichuangbiandemuqin,“wanniangtuidaonin,shitabudui,erzihuifatade,ninbieqile。”

wenxiutaishoumolemoeshangbaozhedeshangkou,zhijuedetougengtengle。

tacaichuanyueguolai,xinfanyiluande,yishilvbuqingsixu,yigeziyebuxiangshuo。

“niang,xifuzhicuole。”weishiqieshengdao。

wenxiutaiqitou,kanxiangdaerzideqiziweishi,jiantamianseqingbai,weiweinuonuo,xinzhongpoyoujifentongqing。

“zhishenmecuo?niyoumeituiwo,shiwozijibushendiedaode。”

yitingzheihua,weishigengshijingkongbuan,mangkexiatouqu,“wozhenzhicuole,nindawomawoba。”

zheigedaerxifujiaguolaisiwunianle,yuanzhucongweijiangtakanzuozijiaren,zhidangyongrensideshihuan,dongzhedama,jiqikedai,liandaitashengdenverdoudouyekanbushunyan,meitianzhijizaowanliangdunfanchi,haichidedoushijialirenshengxiade,daozhimunvliangchangnianmianhuangjishou。

weishinilaishunshou,duizheizhongbugongzhengdaiyu,zaoyixiguan,shenzhishimamu,popozijishuaidao,guaizaitashenshang,tayebuganburen。

bozhaofushichulemingdedaxiaozi,congbuwunimuqin,zongranxintengqinv,quegenbenbuganchumianweihu。

“niang,ninshuozenmefata,zhiyaonengrangninxiaoqi,erzijuewuyiyi。”

bohaitangcoudaowenxiuerbian,taohaodao:“dasaolaoshireniangshengqi,shizaibuxianghua,dezhongfacainengzhangjixing,zhaowokan,burujiudatasanshidaban,ruhe?”

sanshidaban?wenxiujianweishihedexiaoshenbanzhiduosuo,yaozhexiachundiaolei,rengshibuganzhisheng,buyoutanlekouqi。

“wohenlei,xiangshuihuier,nimendouchuquba,zheishierdaocijiusuanle。”

shuobajingzhitangdao,fanguoshenqu。

jiuzheimesuanle?bozhaofuxiongmeiheweishijielengzhu,zheikebushiniangdezuofenga,nandaoshinaozizhuanghuaile?haishibaofengyulailinqiandepingjing?

buguojiranniangrangtamenchuqu,tamenbuganzaizheilidajiao。

bohaitangcongshanruliudijiwenxiugaihaobeizi,qingshengshuo:“niang,ninyoushenmexuyaozhiguanjiaowo。”

daisanrenchuqu,guanmenshengxiangqi,wenxiucaipingtangxia,wangzhewudingmomoweizijiaitan。

shenweiyigedahaonvqingnian,shiyezhengzaishangshengqi,riziguodezirunzhishi,queturanchehuoerwangyejiusuanle,haichuandaogudai,bianchenglegejipinepopo,zheimingyetaikule。

tabenlaicaiershiliusui,hunmeijie,haizimeisheng,haoduohaoduoshidoumeizuo,juranjiuchenglegesanshisisuide“lao”taipo。

呜呼哀哉!

gurenshoumingduan,sishijisuijiurutudeshishuxunchang,tazaizheierderenshenghaimeikaishini,haoxiangjiukuaijieshule,zheihaizenmehun?

zheiyangkanbudaoweilaiderensheng,tabuxiangjie。

wenxiuyuexiangyuebeiqi,suoxingbishangyanshuijue,ruguoyijuexinglai,faxianhaishizaixiandai,yiqiebuguoshimeng,neijiutaihaole。

可惜这是不可能的。

budaolianggeshichen,tabianxingleguolai,youdiankouke,suiqishenxiachuang。

menbeituikai,weishipengzheyizhiwanjinlai,jibuzouzhijinqiandao:“ninkuaitangzhe,xiangyaoshenmefenfuwojiushi。”

wenxiufangcaiqideji,youdiantouyun,bianzuolehuiqu,“bangwodaobeishuilaiba。”

weishimangyongwanqulewenshuilai,shuangshoudiguoqu。

“您请。”

“xiexie。”wenxiuxiguanxingdidaoleshengxie,henkuaiyouyishidao,zheibankeqibufuhetadexingxiang,touyanchoulechouweishi。

guobuqiran,weishixiangzaoleleijiyiban,zhizhilengzaiyuandi,manmianzhenjinggenjianleguiside。

“nijinlaiyoushima?”wenxiuhelejikoushui,dandingdiwendao。

weishihuanguoshenlai,huidao:“aolejitang,songlaijininchi。”

huitoujiangjitangxiaoxindipengdaowenxiumianqian。

zheilisuishixiangxia,danbojiazhiqianshizuoshengyide,zubeiliuxiabushaojiachan,jinguanrujinmeiluole,yerengbiputongjiatingyinshi,erqieyuanzhudedaerzibozhaofushenshoubucuo,changdaoshanlidalie,suoyijiarenjingchangkeyichishangrou。

keshi,jialichidezaihao,yemeiweishimunvdefen,tamenzhinenghezhouchixiancai。

“rouni?”wenxiuwendao。

weishijimanghuida:“yongwanshengqilaile,woquna。”

budengwenxiuchuyan,jiuzhuanshenquletangwu,shaoshiyouzhefanhuilai,jiangyidawanjiroubaizhuoshang。

jialideguijujiushi,suoyouchidechuandeyongdedouyaoxianxiaojingyuanzhuzheigeniang,meitafahua,sheiyebuzhunxiandong,suoyiyizhengzhijideroudouhaizai。

wenxiukanlekanweishineizhangyinyingyangbuliangerganshoudelian,shuo:“jintianmeishenmeweikou,buxiangchirou,woneifenjinihedoudou。”

weishichengmujieshe,tabushichulehuanjue,jiushizaizuomeng,niangzenmekenengshedejitahedoudouchirou?

“bielengzhe,qujiwoshengbanwanfanlai,paozaitangli。”wenxiuguyiyongminglingdeyuqi,jinliangbutuolirenshetaiguo。

“……ai。”weishibanshanghuiguoshen,mangyouchuqu,anzhaotadeyisi,shenglebanwanmifanpaozaijitangli。

wenxiumanmandichile,heguoshuihoujixutangxiashuijue。

“出去吧。”

weishiduanzhejirouchulefangjian,bozhaofuzouguolai,jianjiroumeishao,juedeqiguai。

“怎么,娘没吃?”

“娘说没胃口。”

bozhaofuyouxiebuan,niangyixiangweikouhenhaode,youqiaichirou,mobushishangtaizhongdeyuangu?

“douguaini,niangnianjidale,nihaituita,xianzaishangderoudouchibuxiale,nigaoxingle?”

“wo……”weishiweiqudinieruzhe,xiangshuozijimeituiniang,kehuadaozuibian,youyanlexiaqu。

wenxiuhunhuneeditangzhetingshi,henkuaiyouyaoshuiguoqu,waimianqueturanyouzhengchaoshengchuanlai。

“sheijinidedanziganjiarouchi?fanghuiqu!”

“是娘说……”

bohaitanghedao:“sahuang!niangconglaijiumeiyunxunimenpenghuncai!jinwojiazheimeduonian,zhishenglegepeiqianhuo,duzizhijinyemeigedongjing,nishiyuwojiayougonghaishiyoulao?zhenbuzhinalaidelian!”