“laoyezi，ninzhenyunxuwomenzhiboma?”
“yunxu，zhiyaonimenkaixinjiuhao。”
qinyaoxiaozheshuo：“buguo，juwosuozhi，baozhixiangyaomaidehao，bixuyouxiyinrendedongxi，wopingpingwuqi，zongshirangwoshangbao，kongpanimendebaozhixiaoliangbuhuitaihao。”
“这个……”
yishijian，jiemeiliangbuzhigaizenmejieshile。
zheiweilaoyeziderenzhi，haitingliuzaibaozhishang，gujiliandianshishishenmedoubuqingchu。
nigentashuozhibo，jiangwangluozhishi，kongpatayetingbudong。
baixinyoudaleyigepenti，anweidao：“ninganggangzaishuimianshangxingzou，jiuqilianggehaizi，yijinghenjingbaole，guankanzhibodewangyouzengjialehaoduoni。”
“zheiyangdediaochongxiaoji，yenengyouxiyinli?”qinyaochayidiwen。
zheihua，jiangdanmuzaiyiciyinbaole。
“66666……”
“laoyeziyoukaishichuile!”
“taxuewuhen，tashuiwubo，doushichuanshuozhongdewugong，zaitazuilihaoxiangbuyaoqianyiyang。”
“chuiniujishuneijiaqiang，jinrihaikanlaoyezi。”
“erhuabuduijiukaishichui，wojiuxihuanlaoyezineiyibenzhengjinghushuobadaomoyang。”
“fenlefenle，xiaosiwole，yihoubulunsheizhibolaoyezi，wo358tuanyidinglaipengchang。”
danmushuadehenkuai，buguodaduoshuwangyou，doushibeichuiniushengongxiyinzhude。
bingmeiyouqinyankandaotazhanxianjueji。
keshi，jiuzaixiayimiao，guankanzhibodewangyoumen，huxidouguiyidetingzhileyixia。
zhijianmantoubaifadeqinyao，qingqingbashoudazaibaixinxiaobeishang。
zheigehunshendoushitoudeguniang，shenshangshunjianzhengtengqibaiqi。
shiluludepijianzhangfa，rouyankejiandebiangan。
shenshangdeyifu，gengshixiangbeihongkaoganjingyiyang，kanshangqumeiyouzhanzheyisishui。
“?????”
“woteme，zheishichuanshuozhongdeneili?”
“卧槽!气功!”
“牛逼!”
“我彻底服气了。”
“jiade，jueduishijiade!”
“jiusuanbanifangdaohuozaixianchang，yebukenengzhengfadezheimekuai。”
“shichuile，zheilaoyezijueduishixiuxiande。”
【niheweibuleguan】dashangfotiaoqiang+1
【heitaozi@】dashangkuailexingqiu+100
【zongyoujianfuyaoxianhaibengong】dashangbaoshijie+5
“guankanrenshuchaoguoyiwanwule!”
杨雨晴睁大眼睛。
zhenhanyulaoyezijueshishengongdetongshi，yeweiguankanrenshudezengzhangsuduerxinjing。
“好些了吧?”
qinyaocixiangdeshengyin，rangbaixincongdaizhizhongxinglai。
lianmanggongshendiantoudao：“xiexieyeye。”
qinyaolvzhezijideshanyangbaixu，youlimaodehaizisheidouxihuan。
xinweidishuo：“wohuolezheimejiu，haimeiyouyierbannv，nishidiyigehanwoyeyede，zheiyeshiwomendeyuanfen。”
“laoyezi，zheishishangzhenyouneili，qigongzheixiedongxima?”
杨雨晴忍不住问道。
tongshi，tayeshizaitizhibojiandewangyoumentiwen。
“youshiyou，danyejinjinzhinenglianchuqigan，ziwotaozuiyixiahaixing，dangqigongyongshibukenengde，dangshichuwozhiwai，qitarendoushidiaomingguyuzhibei，bukejinxin。”qinyaoshuo。
“……”姐妹俩。
“……”众多网友。
“zhenmeikanchulai，zheilaoyezixianqipiaopiao，queyidiandoubuhanxu。”
“tianshangdixialaozizuiniu，chunizhiwai，doushitujiwagou，laoyezinikezhenganshuo。”
“laonianren，jingshenhuanghule，dajiayidingyaoyuanliangta。”
“zhuboshenshangkendingzangzhezhengqishebei，ganggangdeyiqiedoushiyanjiwomenkande。”
“laoyeziniyaozhenzheimeniu，lishishangkendingyouniyibi，zenmekenengshiwumingzhibei?”
danmudehuobao，daozhiguankanrenshuhaizaifengzhang。
danyangyuqinghebaixin，yijinggubushang，yanliwanquanwufayanshiduiqinyaodechongbai。
guanzhongmenkenenghuaiyizheiyiqiedoushijiade。
dantaliangqueshiqinyansuojian。
zheilaoyezi，jueduishichuanshuozhongdewulingaoshou!
baixin：“laoyezi，ninyinggaiyinshihenjiuleba?”
qinyao：“meiduojiu，yejiucongminguobiguandaoxianzaieryi。”
“……”baixinheyangyuqingyanjiaochoulechou，buzhigaishuoshenmehao。
niyaoshuonishijueshigaoshou，womenkendingxiangxin。
dannibiguanlejiangjinyigeshiji，zenmenengrangrenxiangxin?
erguankanzhibodewangyoumen，dangchangdouxiaozhale!
“zheigelaoyezizhenyouyisi。”
“zheifenzhuangdayeshengong，zhenrangwobeiwangchenmoji。”
“laoyezi666，wojiadoubuhuile，jintianjiukannichui!”
“逼气无双啊!”
“哈哈哈……”
【liuyanbushaji】dashangkuailexingqiu+100
【waixingrentanmi】dashangzhumengmotuo+50
【yangyangbuchifan】dashangzhishengji+10
danmubeishuabaodetongshi，gaoededashangyezaishuaping。
yangyuqingjiajingfeifan，butaizhuyizheixiedashang。
danbaixinquezhijiekandaile。
guangshinei10gezhishengfeijidedashang，bianshiyiqianduokuai。
goutayigeyuedeshenghuofeile。
erconglaoyezichuxian，daocike，tadedashangshouyi，yijingyouzuzuyiwanduokuaiqian。
zheiwanquanchaochuletazheigenongjianvhaidexiangxiang。
guankanrenshugengshibaozhangdaoleliangwanjiuqianren!
biyixiesanxianmingxingzhiboderenqihaiyaogao。
“nidefensishumashangjiuyaodaoshiwanle!”
yangyuqingdeshengyinyouxiefadou，nanyanneixindejidong，weizijideguimikaixin。
火了!
真的火了!
yihouzhiyaogenzhezheigelaoyezi，zhibotaderichangshenghuo，zaiouerlaigetashuiwuboshenmede，zheigezhanghaoyidinghuihuobaoquanwang。
danhenkexi，laoyeziyikanjiushineizhongshenchuguimeideshiwaigaoren，shuobuzhunmingtianjiuhuilikai。
ercikedebaixin，daizhiguohou，mianduizheimeduodashang，minleminzuichun，henkuaibianzuochuzijidejueding。
tabaliancouguoqu，chuxianzaijingtouqian。
jinguanzheiyanghuidangzhulaoyezi，rangwangyoumenbuman，dantahaishishuodao：
“nengzhibolaoyezizhanxianshenji，shiwoheyuqingderongxing，tongshiyeganxiedajiadeguanzhuhedashang，jintianzhibodailaidesuoyoushouyi，wodouhuiduihuanchengxianjinjiaojilaoyezi，ganxiedajiaduitadezhichi。”
……
baixindejiajingbutaihao，chushengpianpishancun，fumudoushichunpodenongmin，yizhongdiweisheng。
nenggongchutazheigedaxuesheng，yijingshiquanjiarendejiaoaole。
wancanhenpingchang，xifanhemantou。
danqinyaoquechidejinjinyouwei。
erbaixinheyangyuqing，yeguandiaolezhibo。
yeliguangxianbuhao，paichulaidejingtouhenmohu，xuyaozhuanyedeshebeicaixing。
jialidedengguangyeyouxiehunan，zongbunengnazheshoudiantong，yizhizhaozhelaoyezizhiboba?
zaiyige，baixinbixutuichuzhibo，cainengjiangwangyoushuadeliwu，conghoutaitixianchulai，jiaojilaoyezi。
baixin：“qinyeye，ganggangwomenzhiboleyihui，kouchupingtaidefencheng，yigongtixian6835kuaiqian，niyoushoujima，woweixinzhuanjinin。”
qinyao：“shoujishishenme?”
一家人：“……”
baixinwunai，zhidenaixindejieshileyifan。