第1章

zhibolianzong,wodingzhesurenshenfenheqipananxiangqin。

qipananxianbaizhezijidebaidafeilishoubiao,tiaomeitianyadingsaibangziwenwo:

「nijuedeshuoshihenanshinagejibiegenggao?」

wolengxiaoyisheng,chaoqishoubiandekafeipoxiangta:

「nigunainaiwodebazhangjibiezuigao!」

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zhibolianzong,woshenweilianzongliweiyidesuren,beianpaiheqipananxiangqin。

erqitaxiaohuazeheliuliangxiaoshengyiqitianmihudong。

daoyanzuxiangyaocengxiangqinderedu,quebuganzhaoyoushilidexiaohuadezui。

ganghaozuoweitouzishangdewoluguo,tingdaoyaoqiuzhihouzhudongqingying。

danshiwomeixiangdaoxiangqinduixiangnengzhaliedaozheigechengdu。

kanzheduimiandingzheshualexieyoubanheiliangtoufadeshangwunanshi,wozuijiaochouchu,yingshijichudianlijiexingxiaorong。

neinandezuijiaogouqiyimoweixiao,guyitaishouluchuzijibaidafeilishoubiao。

对我笑道:

「buhaoyisilaichile,jintiandeshichangbodongbijiaoda。」

shuowanhaijiwoleyige「nidongde」deyanshen,wozuijiaoweiweichouchu,quetingtajiezheshuodao:

「womenzheixingma,jiushigongzuoshizhanggenzheshichangzou。」

kanzhetayilianzixinqietaozuideyangzi。

***xiaoliangsheng,wuzhudikanleyiyanzhanzaitashenhoudedaoyanhejingtou。

daoyanquejilewoyige「jixu」deyanshen,wozhinengyingzhetoupikanxiangyanqiandenanren。

shubuzhizhibojiandedanmuyijingbeishuadefeiqi:

【woc,shijinrongzhuangbinan!】

【benlaijuedemeiyisi,yikanshizhuangbinanwomashangweiguana!】

【zheigejiezhendeshizaiyanwoxiangqin,wuzhuqiegangahahaha。】

yankanzhexianchangjiuyaolengchang,wojizhongshengzhidikanxiangtafangzaizhuoshangdecheyaochi:

「gezheicheyaochihaitinghaokandeha。」

neinandeyanjingyiliang,tingdaokeyifahuidedian,mashangzhangzuishuchu:

「haihaoba,chetisubucuo,yejiushibimeilianchujiangxizhihoudeshichangfanyingzaikuaiyidiandianba。」

「duilenizhidaomeilianchuma?」

woheheliangsheng,haimeilaidejishuoshenme,jiubeitamashangdaduan:

「nizhidao?neirangwokaokaoni。」

zheijuhuayichu,danmushangmashang「hahaha」shuaping。

【「rangwokaokaoni」taidianlehahaha。】

【zheigesurenjiejiezhendecan,shanggezongyidouyaobeicuicanhahahaha。】

jinrongnandezuijiuxiangzhijiguanqiang,meirenlitatahaizaidadadashuogebuting,zuihouworenwukeren,taishoudaduanta:

「zhuangbixiansheng,rangwoshuoliangjuhuaba。」

neinandetiaomei,xiekaozaizuoweishang,fumozhexiabakanxiangwo:

「zenme,beiwomizhule?」

wowushitaneiwaizuixiexiaodebiaoqing,lengjingdao:

「shouxian,nishoushangdebiaoshijiade,baidafeilidebiaobudiaozuanha。」

「qici,duizhexiangqinduixiangluchuzijick***biaoqianzhendehendiaojia,gandehaoxiacibieganle。」

「zuihou,gangcainizaimenkoujiedianhuadeshihouwotingdaole。」

「nizheigechunhuojuranchaobitebichaodepeijinquyizhengniandegongzihahaha。」

「nizhendeshixuejinrongdema,zenmezheimechunahahaha!」

duimianneizhuangbinanshunjianbiaoqingjiangying,xianzailundaowowaizuixiexiao:

「hai『rangwokaokaoni』?zheizhonghaoweirendiedezhuangbiguaiganjinpahaoma!」

wozheibianshuowan,zhibojianmashangyoushi「hahaha」shuaping。

bushaoguanzhongdoubeiwokuangshanjinrongnanliandehualijudongxiaosi,zhibojiandashanghereduzhixianshangsheng,daoyankandaozhihouduiwoshulegedamuge。

woqingxiaoyisheng,tiaoxindikanxiangzuozaiwoduimiandenanren。

zhuangbinanbeiwoshuodenaoxiuchengnu,zhouzhemeidao:

「nizhidaonizaiganshenmema?」

yibianshuozhe,yibiandoudouxiuzi,buzhehenjidizangqizijidiaozuandejiabiao,yilianyansudikanxiangwo。

反正导演不阻拦我。

woyefangfeiziwo,mashangkaishiyouganqingdijietashuodehua:

「我这是在玩火!」

说完我差点笑弯腰:

「maayigejinrongmingong,zhuangshenmebadaozongcaiahaha。」

zhibojianyegenzhewohahadaxiao。

kenengshiwoxiaodetaifangsi。

neinandeqidetoudingmaoyan,hudiqishen,lalelazijidechenshanyibiandangzhuck***,

随后落荒而逃。

wosuishounaqifangzaizhuozishangdeshouji,dakaizhibojiankandanmu,faxiandanmushangdoushizaikuawo:

【xiaosiwolemade,zheigejiejiehaohuishuoa。】

【wokandaoneinande***bianle,wozhendehuixiea!】

【zheibubixiaohuamenfarengongtanghaokan!woyaozaizheigezhibojianyanglao!】