第1章

第一章

pipingdahuishang,xiaozhangkoumohengfei「zaolianjueduijinzhi,youxietongxue,nibuxuexibuyaoyingxiangbierenxuexi……」

laoshimentongxinjishou,fangfowodianwulexiaocao,xiaoyoumenduiwozhizhidiandian。

wojuedecishiwobuyingzaizheili,woyinggaizaiheli。

renworuhebianjie,genbenjiumeirenting。

xiaocaoshuotiantaihei,meikanqingzhangxiang,tingshengyinxiang。

jiaodaozhurenshuo,shengaohefaxingdouduishangle,meipao。

liliyuanshangpu,woyagenburenshixiaocao,woyemeiquguoxiaoshulin。

wolianshiqingdeshimodoubuqingchu,jiubeidingzuile。

woqingqiudiaojiankong,naihexuexiaotiaojianyouxian,zhizaizhongdianfangweianzhilejiankong。

jiuzheiyangwobeishenghuowuqingdedaileyidingmaozi—lvmaozi,wobeixiaopailvle。

zheizhongganjuejiuxiang,suiranhaizibushinide,danxifushinide。

woduocizhaoxiaocaolejieqingkuang,weiziji**,doubeijuzhibanwai,lianmianyemeijiandao。

huashuowozuijinyemeiyoucaigoushiya,gangkaixue,tongxuewohaimeirenquanni,nayougongfurenshixiaocao!

yaoshuodezuirendaoshiyouyige,buguowomeikanqingneirenlian。

shangzhouwuwanshang,wofangxuehuinainaijia,zuijinxinjiazhuangxiu,zhinengjiezhunainaijia。

gangzoudaoyilouzhuhudemenkou,jiutingdaoyigelvedaifengcihebunaideshengyin。

「dajie,wodaojiale,haigenna!」

「啊?你说啥?」

wotaitoukanjianyigedizhetoumaozibanzheliandenanshengyizaimenkou,duiwochizhiyibi。

「genzongwodaojiadenishidiyige,nitingfengkuangde。」

wolengzhenglejimiao,fanyingguolainanshengdeyisi,xinxiangtawuhuilemangjieshi:

「niwuhuile,wonainaijiazhuzheili。」

taxianranbuxin:「wozenmeconglaimeijianguoni?」

manliandebuxie,haosizaishuo,zhaojiekouyeyaozhaokaopudiande。

「wozhiqianhefumuzaiwaidi,guonianyeshiheyeyenainaizaixiangxiaguo,suoyi......」meilaiguozhei。

「suoyinijiekoubiandetinghao,xiangyinqiwodezhuyi,dakebubi」

wohaimeilaidejishuowan,jiubeitadaduanle。

cishiwodeneixinyiyouxingxingzhihuo,danhaishinaixinjieshi。

「wozhenmeishuohuang,buxinnikeyi......」

「biebianle,jianduole,wozhishuoyibian,gensuiwopaizhaojianjiaodoukeyi,danbiegenwodaojia」

zaicibeidaduan,wojuedexianzaiwokeyiliaoyuanle。

kanlekantaxizaiyaoshangdexiaofu,dunshiyoulediqi:

「wei,wobuzhidaosheijinidezixin,naodaihe**zhangfanleba,haigenzongni,jiejiewozheibeizidoushibeigenzong」chuiniusheibuhui。

nanshenglengzhenglexia,gangyaoshuoshenmejiubeiwodaduan。

「haijiaowodajie,jiejiewocaishanggaoyi,pei!」

「maozihaidangzhelian,pajianrenna,zhenyiweizijishimingxingni,rangwokankandaodizhangshayang」shuozhewojiushangshouquchetademaozi。

tayeyonglizhuaizhumaozi,lachejian,wohuangjuezheiyangbushunv,juedezijibapofuyanyidelinlijinzhi。

yushijiusongleshou,zhiting“peng”deyisheng,shitouhemenqinwendejuxiang。

hedewo,dengdengdengxunsupaoshanglou,kaimen、guanmen,yiqihecheng。

nainaiyiweiwobeigounianle,lianwenyoumeiyoubeiyaodao,woshuochayidianjiuyaodaole,haihaowojiling。

zheijianshiwoyemeifangzaixinshang,yinweihoulaiwoyemeijiandaoneigenansheng,meiduojiuwoyebanhuilezijijia。

zhidaoxiaocaoshijianbaofa,wocaihuixiangqi,xiangyaozhaoxiaocaoquerenshibushibaofu,tayebierbujian。

guimiquanjiewoshuoxiaocaobukenengzuozheizhongwuliaodeshi,kendingshinagenvshengpabaolu,suoyitounawoxiaopai。

woxiangzuiyoukenengtounawoxiaopaidejiushini,danshiwoliangshenxingfaxingdoubuyiyang。

huashuowoxiaopaishenmeshihoudiudewodoubuzhidao。

zhouyizhidaoxiaopaidiushi,zhouerjiushangtongbaole。

第二章

zhouyizaoshangquanxiaodaliancha,zhizhoushengmenpailiezhengqi,zaijiaodaochulaoshidedailingxiajianchatongxuedeyirong、yibiao。

xuxingheyoushouzaikoudailizuanlexiaxiaopai,xiemeideyixiao。

xuxinghekanjianyigenvshengzaifeisudefanzhaoshubao,taituizouleguoqu。

mianwubiaoqingdeshuodao:「tongxue,xiaopaimeipeidai」

wotaitouweixiaodao:「buhaoyisi,xuezhangwoxiaopaizhaobudaole」wa,haoshuai,xingxingyan。

wozuoyoukanxia,laoshibingmeiyoukanzheibian,kuaibushangqian:

「xuezhang,tongrongxiabei,yaoburangwojinbanjizhaozhao?」

「bieshuahua,nagebanjide?」

「xuezhang,nizheimeshuai,tongrongxiabei」

「buyaotaojinhu,henibushu,nibushuowojiaolaoshile」

wopiepiezui「wangxu,gaoyierban」

「gaoyide?nagewang,nagexu」

「xingwangdewang,xingxudexu」zhangdetingshuai,rentingsha,haiyoujigewang。

「nidaodixingwanghaishixingxu,buyaomenghunguoguan,houxuhuiheshi」yijiushimianwubiaoqing。

woqinaodao「woxingwang,wobaxingwang,womaxingxu,suoyijiwoqimingwangxu」

xuxinghezaibenzishangxielejibi,jiurangwotongguole,jiejushiwobeikoule5fen。

xiakelingxiangqi,jiaoshishunjianfeitengqilai,tongzhuomengmengmengdizhuaqiwodegebohaojiao:「xuxu,wotingshuoxiawudelanqiusaishuaigekeduoleni!xiaocaoyecanjiani!」

「xiaocaosheia?nabande?nizheixiaoxitinglingtonga,zheicaikaixueduojiuya,nijiuzhidaole!」woxiaohehedehuidao。

「bushiba,nimeikandaomeicifangxueyiqunnvshengzhuisuiyigenanshengma?neijiushixiaocao,shigaosan·wubande,jiaoxuxinghe,mingzishibushitehaoting!xuexihao,zhangdeshuai,jiayouqian!」mengmengyiliandexiangwang。

woshuangshoutuosai,xinlixiangzhezuijinzhunainaijia,lixuexiaoyoudianyuan,fangxuejiuzhejiwangjiapao,nayoushijiankanshuaige。

mengmengmeiguanwodeshangchunbeiqiu,jixudao:「xiawunizaodianlai,zanmenzhangehaoweizhi。」

「haolei」suizhewodehuayinluoxia,shangkede**yesuizhixiangqi。

xiawulanqiusaichangshang,renshengdingfei,wohemengmengzaojiuzhanlinglejuejiaweizhi。

suizhehuanhushengxiangqi,cansaiduiyuanyicishangchang。

「kan,neigejiushixiaocao」wokanxiangmengmengshouzhidefangxiang。

jigenanshengweizheyigezhangdehenbaidenansheng,meidaiyanjingyekanbuqingzhangxiang,yuanyuandewoganjuexuxinghehaoxiangkanxianglewozheibian。

lanqiusaijinxingzhe,tingzhedajiabuduandijianjiao,woyejuederexueshangyong。

zheishi,lanqiuhudixiangguanzhongxizalai,shenhoutongxuejingjiaolianlian,woxiangzuopaodetongshi,beimengmengxiangyoulazhu。

jiuzheiyangwozhizhidebeilanqiuzagezhengzhe,xuxinghexiaopaoguolai。

「tongxue,baoqian,xiacizhuyi」shengyindaizhexiexuxingzailehuo。

woxiedaozaidi,wuzhetou,kanzhezheigezaoshangkoulewo5fendenansheng,bansuizhehoumiannvshengmendejinghusheng「xuxinghe,haoshuaiai!」

woshuochumeiguanxidetongshi,jiwodezhishiyigebeiying,haomeilimao。

就莫名其妙的。

第三章

wanshangfangxue,gangchuxiaomenmengmengmengdijinzhuawoshouwanwangqianpao,chadianmeibandao。

「shaqingkuangya?mandian,yaoshuaidaole」wobianpaobianduimengmenghandao。

「xiaocao,qianbianshixiaocao,meikanzheimeduonvshenggenzheme,kuaidian」

woyidianyebuxiangquzhui,wobaoyuanzhexuxinghezaoshangkouwofen,xiawuyongqiuzawotou,rangbenbucongmingdedanao,chengshoulexiexubeishang。

mengmengshuowoxiaorenzhixindujunzizhifu,jianchajiushiyaoyishitongren、gongpinggongzheng,dalanqiufashengyiwaiyehenzhengchang。

yingyingchuochuojian,wokanjianlexuxinghedecelian,tadaizhemaozi,shuangshouchadou,zuilidiaozheweidianhuodeyan,shuobuchuderangrenmilian,zhizhixiangqianzouzhe,genbenbuguanhoumianyoumeiyoumimeigensui。

「zheiwokanzheyoudianyanshu,haoxiangzhiqianjianguo,buguotaxiyanbupabeilaoshizhuame?」wodunangzhe。

「zheidoudaoxiaowaile,zaishuolerenjiayemeidianhuo,zhenmeijiantaxiguoyan」

「neijiushiweileshuakubei,zhenchoupi,haoxiangtianxiajiutazuishuaiyiyang,zilian}cishidewojueduibuhuizhidao,juranyibuxiaoxinjiushuochulezhenxiang。

xiangbudaodiertian,wojiubeitongbaojiledaguo,liyoushiwoweixiexiaocao。

wozongjuedeyourenyaohaiwo,haojichengwodezuoye,danshiwomeiyouzhengju。

pipingdahuineitianzaihoutai,xuxinghexiaofubanchang,yikaozaizhuozishang。

xiangshenglizheyiyang,tiaoxinzhewo。

wodunshijiuhongleyan,zhizhetahandao「laoshi,tayuanwangwo,taxianhaiwo」

ranerbingmeiyourenxiangxinwo。

zheishixiaozhangzouguolaiduixuxingheshuo:「zhuyiyirong、yibiao,yihuishangtaini,xiangshenmeyangzi」

yuqimeiyouzebei,haiyoudianchongni。

wotandao,yuanlaizhangdehaoxuexihaoderen,lianxiaozhangdoupianai。

houlaiwocaizhidao,xiaozhangshitajiu。

ziciyihou,wohexuxinghedeguanxijiushitongshuihuo。

dangranshiwodanfangmiande,tayijiuguangmangwanzhang,woyouruguojielaoshu。

zaibanjinvshengmenshuyuanwo,nanshengmendiaokanwo。

zaixiaoyuan,xiaoyoumenduiwozhizhidiandian,yilunfenfen。

zaijialigengbietile,wodieshuowoyaoshibuhaohaoxuexijinggaomeiyongdejiurangwoquhexibeifeng。

duixuxinghedehuaihenzhixin,gengshangyicenglou。

weilewanhuiwozailaoshihetongxuexinzhongdexingxiang,wofenfatuqiang,jijicanjiabanjirenhehuodong。

weilebulusujietou,wotouxuanliangzhuicigu。

zhongyuyoubianhuileneigerenjianrenai,huajianhuakaidexiaokeai,xuexichengjiyeyilubiaosheng。

guangyinsijian,xuxinghezhongyu、zhongyugaokaogunqiule。

meiletadeyingxiangxiaoyoumenzaojiuyiwangleneijianhuangdandeshi,woyezhongyunenganshengle。

youjingguoliangniandeshiguang,woyeruyuandekaojinlelixiangdedaxue。

shuolaiyeqiao,jiumengmengneigecaijijuranyeyaxiankaojinlaile。

buguowomenbuzaiyigexi,danshisushejiuzaishangxialou。

mengmengzuijinmishangleyigedasanlanqiuduideshuaige,genbenmeikongdaliwo。

cidibuliuye,ziyouliuyechu。

wokanshiyouwanwangzhewandefengshengshuiqi,woyeyangqiuzhetadaiwo。

zheiyiwanjiuxiangxiaodaola**,kaiyanerle!

gezhongxiaohtu,ske,gaoxiaogeng,dakailexinshijiedamen,woyaodangaiqingdeqiutuhaha!

第四章

zheitianzhoumoshiyoudouquyuehuile,wozheigedanshengoujiuzhinengdayouxile。

wozuijinxinjiagebenxiaodezhandui,xiangzhaogedatuibaoyibao。

qunlijingqiaoqiaode,zhengshiwoshanliangdengchangdehaoshihou。

xianfageegaohuoyuexiaqifenba!

yexu:「quezhongdanma?woxiaoqiaozei6」peishangge0-30-0dexiaoqiaozhanji。

meiyourenherenmaopao,douquyuehuile?

再来一条。

yexu:「jiewanglianbenxiandaijian,renheshijianrenhedidian,500kuaiyimian,liangxindaijian,beiqinleyaojiaqian。nilaogongzhangdechouwojiutinizhijiefenshoule,nilaogongzhangdehaokan,duibuqi,tayihoujiushiwolaogongle!」peishangegaotu。

shuxingxing:「@yexu,**jiejiedanma?tongyixiahaoyouxishuo。」

mengzhongqingding:「zheigehao,woshouzangle」

chaoshen1v5:「@shuxingxing,paixingbangyige,baodatui」

zheishilailegexiaohongdian,shishuxingxingfalaidehaoyouqingqiu。

jiranshidatui,nayoububaodeshuo,xianhuyouzhedaiwoshangfenba。

jiashanghaoyoulejieqingkuanghou,wojiuyoudianhouhuichongdongle。

zheilaogeshiyongnvhaowanxiaohao,zhaolegecp,jieguorenjiayaojianmian,tapaluxian,yijingjujueduocile,zhenghaokandaowodeguanggao,lingjiyidong。

wojiunamentayaoshipaixingbangyige,haiyongbierendaifeima?

wenjiushicpjidetaiduo。

wobenlaijiushihuluanfade,meixiangdaohaizhenyouzheizhongxuqiude。

sikaolehuier,wohaishijujuele。

wo:「baoqian,wonaozhewande」

shuxingxing:「wozhidaoniyougulv,fangxin,doushibenxiaode,jiuzaiguangchangjianyimian」

wo:「e......」

shuxingxing:「500yimian,baonigegesaijiwangzhe」

wo:「wozhixihuanzijida」

数猩猩:「我带飞」

我:「成交」

我:「什么时候?」

shuxingxing:「buji,xiacitazaishuodeshihou,woxiandainishangfenba」

youzheihaoshiwobabude,lianmangjiudengluzhanghaobaodatuile。

wenlewodeduanweihou,laogexuanlegexiangdangduanweidehao。

zaiwowushucibeiduiyouxianqi,laogezhaohuanwowuguohou,tazhongjiushimeirenzhu。

「fangxianideshenduan,dakaimaikefengjiaoliu,nizhibuzhidaoshenmejiaodaifei?」

yi?shengyinhaohaoting,haoxiangtingguodeganjue。

「bujiushinikairui,wosuiyima?」wolizhiqizhuang。

「bierendouxianqini,nengbunenggenzhewo,bushijinifaxinhaoleme?」

「a,woyiweinijiaobierenni!」wodunangdao。

「nibiejiaoyexule,jiaoyezhuba,xianzaiqitingwozhihui,dong?」