‘啪’
jimuyijixiangliangdeerguang,henhenshanzaiwodelianshang。
touyunmuxuanjian,tayibajiuzhulewodeyiling。
“yuewanwan!zheigehunnijieyedejie,bujieyedejie!”
结婚?
wofenming**laicanjiahunlide!
jitianqianyinianduobucenglianxidejimutianbeileituranqucongxiangxialaolaoneiliqinzijiewo,shuo**rangwojitongfuyimudemeimeitianmizuobanniang。
yuanbenwo**genbenbuxiangqude,keaobuguolaolaodequanshuo,biangenzhetianbeileizoule。
kelinjinziye,taqueqiangpowochuanjiayi。
“不!”
woyonglizhengzha,keshentiqueshibushangliqi。
xiangqizhiqiantianbeileiqinzijiwoduanlaidetiantang,shunjianmingbaileshenme。
“jianpizi、tuoyouping!wohaoshuodaishuo,feibiwodongcu!”tianbeileiqijibaihuaideshuodaozhei,yibahaozhuwodetoufa。“gujiacaidashidake**haichengdeshoufu,nengjiaqu**nibabeizixiulaidefuqi!”
“zheizhongfuqizenmebujininver?”
maozuliqi,wohouchuzheimeyiju。
mingming**houde,keshengyinque**qiruoyousi。
zicongfuqinqushihou,womenjiuxianshaolaiwang。
turanshangmen,juran**juxinpoce。
“居然还敢顶嘴!”
tianbeileiqiazhuwodehoulong,sisidedingzhuwo。
neiehenhendeyanshen,xiang**zaikanzijideshafuchouren!
“huashuonijianeigexiayanlaobusideyijingyoubashiduosuileba?wanyichugeshenmeyiwaisuanbusuandeshang**xisangni?”
tianbeileidehua,rangwoxintouyijing。
takouzhongde‘laobusi’,zheng**wodelaolao。
zicongmuqinqushihou,wohelaolaoyizhixiangyiweiming。
meixiangdao,tianbeileijurangannatalaiyaoxiewo。
“niganshanghaiwolaolaoshishi!”
tangruoyanshenkeyisharen,xiangbitianbeileiyibeiqiandaowanguale。
laolao**wozaizheigeshishangweiyideqinren,ye**woyongyuanbunengchujideruanlei。
“ruguonibulaolaoshishidejiwojiadaogujiaqu,wobaozhengnihenkuaijiunengjineilaotaipokangfan!”
shuodaozhei,tianbeileisonglesongshouzhi。
wobeiezhudehuxi,zhongyushaoshaosongxie。
chengzhezheigejihui,wodakoudakoudechuanxi。
“guaiguaide,biezhengzha!jizhu,congxianzaiqinijiaotianmi!ernideshengri**renwunianjiuyueshiwuwushi!”
buyoufenshuo,tianbeileibiankaishibawodeyishang。
dengzhishengxianeiyideshihou,taturanbaikaiwodetui。
erhou,nachuyimeiyiliaoqian。
kandaoneibaminghuanghuangdejinshu,wodunshidajingshise。
xiangyaozhengzha,queyinweiyaoxingruandexiang**tiaosishelanshan。
“nidaodixiangganshenme?”
“gujiarenzhidaotianmibu****,ruguofaxiannihai**wanbizhishen,qibuyaoluxianle?gujia,kebu**shenmeshanlei!”
shuodaozhei,tianbeileijiangchuntieshangwodeerpang。
“yuanbenzhunbeizhaoxienanrenjiniposhende,dankexishijianshangbuyunxu!suoyi,suannizouyun!”
huabi,tianbeileijiangbingliangdeqianzihenhencijinwodexiashen。
……
douzheshuangtui,wobeitianbeileilianladaizhuaidediushangyiliangqiche。
zongshibeixialeyao,kexiashendetengtongqueruoyinruoxian。
qurudeleishui,buzhengqideliuxia。
“daxirizibuxuku!bujilide!”tianbeileiguzuocixiangfalileliwodehunsha,erhouyadishengyin。“neilaobusidenengbunenghuodaomingtian,haidekannizhihoudebiaoxian。”
wofenhendedingzhetianbeilei,yingshengshengdebiezhuyanlei。
zhuanguotou,kaishidaliangsizhou。
nei**yiliangjinshugouzao、quebaozheeyupideqiche。
kezixiyikan,bu**eyupi。
yinwei,eyumeiyoulinpian。
zheikanqilai,gengxiang**shepi。
ke**,nalaidezheimedayizhangshepi?
jiashizuodesiji,chuanzhebitingdezhongshanzhuang。
daizheyifuyuankuangmojing,rangwokanbudaotadeyan。
erfujiashizuoshang,zeyonganquandaibangzheyigeguaiyidetanzi。
guanshangchemendeshunjian,turanyoudishengxiangqi。
sichuxunzhao,quezhaobudaoshengyindelaiyuan。
qianzuodetanzi,zegenzhejiezouweiweidehuangdongqilai。
zhengyutantoukangezixi,yitiaoyanjingshemengdecongtankoutanchunaodai,bingqiesuizhedishengdejiezoulaihuibaidongqilai。
蛇!
weishenmejieqinhaiyaodaishangyitiaodushe?
dishengtingzheyouyang,quebisuonashenggengjiaguiyi。
peihezhehuhudefengxiao,xiang**shangxiudejuziyixiayouyixialazaizuimingandeneigenshenjingshang。
“新婚快乐!”
tianbeileituranpailepaiwo,sixiaofeixiaodekaikou。
wohenhendengzheta,quelianzuanjinquantoudeliqidoumeiyou。
“tianbeilei,wobuhuifangguonide!”
“neijiudexiankankanniyoumeiyoubenshile!”
tianbeileishuodaozhei,‘peng’deyishengjiangchemenzhongzhongdeheshang。
erhougezhechechuang,duiwohuanhuandebaishou。
……
yesenongzhong,shepiqichehuanmanxingshizainongwuzhizhong。
jinguanwoyizhihunhunyushui,quehenhenyaozhuzuichun。
yaodaoxianxuelinli,liyongtengtongqiangpozijiqingxing。
shenmerenhuixuanzaisangengbanyesongqin?
shenmerenhuikaishepicheguolaiyingqin?
songqinheyingqinde,doubuzhengchang!
tianbeileirangwodingtitianmichujia,yidingyouzhebukegaorendemude。
tianmideshengchen**renwujiuyueshiwuwushi,shuyang,baziweiyang。
erwodeshengchen,qiahaoxiangfan。
xinsinianeryueqirizishi,shushe,bazishuyin。
yigejiyang,yigejiyin。
tianbeileirangwojiazhuangtianmidemude,daodi**shenme?
ganghuanghudaozhei,chezituranchazhu。
chemendakaihou,yishuangzhoubabaqieguanjieyichangtuchuzhongzhangdeshoushenjinwodeshixian。
“新娘落地!”
yigeshayadaoxiang**nongtandulehoulongdeshengyin,zaierbianxiangqi。
zongshiwoxinbuganqingbuyuan,danhai**shenchuleshou。
yinweigaitouzhezhuleshixian,wozhinengmianqiangkandaozijidejiaojianheqianmianneishuangchuanzheheibuxiedejiaohougen。
zaineishuangheibuxiededailingxia,woshunzhepingzhengdeqinghuashibanluzoudaoyichuaotubupingdeeluanshixiaodaoshang。
meizoujibu,turanpingdiqifeng。
yiduihuangsefenmo,heranpiaodaowodexiezishang。
neiweidao,xiangjileliuhuang。
shenweizhuyoupodelaolao,beixianglirenchengweibanxianer。
cengjingzaizhizuoliuhuangfendeshihou,gaosulewotadegongxiao。
zheizhongdongxi,**zhuanmenyonglaiquganshechongshuyide!
kedaxiderizi,zenmehuiyourensazheige?
jiuzaichayizhiji,wodegaitouyibabeixiankai。
zhijianyigelianpidaladelaomama,zhengzhigougoudewangzhewo。
tashenshangdeneitaozangqinglandebushan,xiangjileshoufu!
erlaomamadeshenhou,**yijianguazhebaidenglongdecitang。
baidenglongshang,herantiezheyigecimude‘xi’zi。
heshenrendebaise,xingchenglexianmingdefancha。
“xingming、nianyue、shichen!”laomamaturanyashengkaikou。
“wojiao……tianmi!”xiangqibeixiepodelaolao,wozhideyingzhetoupisahuang。“renwunianjiuyueshiwuwushi!”
“够阳!”
laomamashuodaozhei,zuijiaoshengyingdeshangyang。
zhihou,mengdetuikaicitangdemen。
qingkejian,shikuailingweiheranrumu。
erqizhongyige,kezhejingran**……‘tianmi’?!
神经病!
haimeidongfang,xianlipaiwei?
zheigujiadaodi**geshenmeguidifang?
不行!
我必须要离开这里!
“suyuyouyun,zhangyouyouxu!”laomamaturandilaiyibeicha,“shiyiniang,qingjijiuweifurenshangxiangjingcha!”
……