第1章
河滨咖啡厅。
jigenvfuwuyuanzhengduizhechuangbianyigeweizhizhizhidiandian。
“kan，zheigexiaogegehaoshuai！”
“jiushi，kantadepifu，biwohaibai，wohaihualezhuangni！”
“zheiqizhi，zheiwuguan，woganjuewoyoulianaile，nimensheiqubangwoyaogeweixinwozuoniuzuomadouxing！”
ercishi，shenweizhongrenyilundejiaodian，zuozaichuangbiandezhouyisuanlesuanshijian，suihouyiliankubidenachuwudiqianzaizhuozishangsuiyibainong。
anzhaozhiqiandeguaxiang，jinlezheijiakafeitingjueduinengzhaodaotaxiangyaodedongxi，zenmedaoxianzaichulenanchideshiwuhefuwuyuandebaiyanshenmedoumeiyou。
xiangzhe，zhouyinaqishouzhongdewudiqiankaishihuaiyishifujiaozijidezheixiedongxigaibuhuishipianrendeba？
buduia，neilaojiahuotiantianchuixuzijidangnianshidaoshangguajingyishudeyijue，zichengjuedingyiren。
shuodexuanhu，juedingtadaoshizhenjuedingle，naodaishangdefaliangkanyou，buguokanzheixienianyizhidouyourenzhaoshifusongdongxiqiubanshiyoubuxiangshijiade。
zhouyikaishiyouxiehouhuijiuzheiyangchongdongxiashanle。
xianzaitasuiranyoubenshile，danshitaduizijidefumuyiwusuozhi，jiuzheiyangcongmangxiashanbushizitaokuchima？
meicuo，zhouyizheicixiashanjiushixiangzhaozijifumude。
tadacongjishiqizaishanshangzhangda，shifushuotashibeidiemayiqide，danshitabuxin，yinweitamohuyoudianyinxiangganjuezijidediemaduizijihaoxiangbucuo。
suoyitazheicixiashanlaijiushixiangzhaozijidiemaquerenzheijianshide。
ruguotazhendeshibeiyiqi，takendingbuhuidaliduifang，danwanyizhendeshiyoushenmenanyanzhiyinni？
zhouyiqishitingxianmuneixiejiatingxingfudexiaohaide。
danzheimangmangrenhai，yaozhaodaozijidefumutanherongyi。
zhengxiangzhe，kafeiwaiyiliangbaisedebenchitingxia，chemendakai，yishuangxianxibaixide**shenchu，yigeshounamingpaibaobao，shenchuanxiangnainaigaojidingzhidedameinvcongcheshangzoulexialai。
tayichuxianzaikafeidiannei，zhouweisuoyourendunshidouxiangdaoleyouqianlianggezi。
youqianyouyoushencaikanzheiqizhilianyejueduibucha，laotianduitayetaipianaileba。
erjiuzaizhongrengantanzhiji，zheigemeinvzaikafeidianneihuanguleyizhou，jingzhizaizhouyimianqianzuolexialai。
“nijiushilinshenjieshaolaideren？”
“wokexianshuohaole，wozheirenxingziyaoqiang，gongzuomang，zuitaoyanpingshijijizhazhasishenghuobujiandianderen，suoyinigenlewozhihou，nimeitianyaoqunali，yaozuoshenmeshidoushiwoshuolesuan，pingshiyaojianshenmeren，jiaoshenmepengyouyeshiwoshuolesuan，dangran，qiankendingshaobulenide。”
linyuxuanshuozhe，beikaozheyizi，zhaixialezijidemojing，luchulezijiguosetianxiangdelian。
zheiyimurangzhenggekafeitingliderendoudadieyanjing，yerangkafeidiandexiaojiejietongtongdoushuaisuilexin。
tamendanyanxishuaiqijiatianzhendexiaogegezenmehuishiyigechiruanfandexiaobailian！
cangtiana，dadia，zheigeshijiedaodizenmele？
erjiuzaizhouweiderenyipianaihaodeshihouzhouyibenrenzijiyemengbile。
“你刚刚说什么？”
nvrenbuyuedekanzheta，xiuqidemeitouweiweizhouqi。
“怎么，不乐意？”
tashuozhe，manlianbuyuedejiangzijideyanjingwangzhuomianshangyireng。
“shuoba，yaoduoshaoqian！”
zhouyikanzhetazhuoshangdeyanjing，xiuqidemeitouyeweiweizhouleqilai。
zheidaobushiqiandeshi，zhuyaotabuzhidaotayaorangtaganshenmea？
tingtaganggangshuodehua，nanbuchengshiyaorangtadangxiaobailian？
“bushi，zheiweixiaojie，niganggangshuorang**shenme？”
zheihuabieshuoshizhouyile，jiushilinyuxuanzijiyelengzhule。
“zenme，jieshaonilaiderenmeijinishuo？”
jiuzaizhouyibuzhidaogaizenmehuidadeshihou，zhitingpayisheng，duimiandenvrenyijingganjingliluodejiangyifenwenjianpaizailezhouyidemianqian。
“zheishiwomendehezuoxieyi，nizixikankan，ruguojuedemeiwentijiubahetongqianle，qitadeshiqingwomenyihouzaishuo，woxianzaihenmang，meishijiangennizaizheierlangfei！”
nvrenshuozhe，bunaifandekanleyiyanshijian，haoxiangzhendehenmangside。
zhouyijiangneifenwenjianbalaguolaikanleyiyan，henkuaimingbaiguolai。
yuanlaizheishiyifenhezuoxieyi，bingbushibaoyangxieyi。
duifangxianzaiyinweigerenyuanyin，jixuyaoyigelaogong，ertajiushibierenjieshaolaide‘laogong’，fuzebangzheiweinvshijiejueshenghuoshanghegongzuoshangdeyixienanti。
zheiweinvshihuijichuxiangyingdebaochou。
zhiyuzheibaochou......
zhouyishunzheneifenxieyiyizhiwangxiakan，kandaolezuihoudebageling，hedezhenggeyanjingdoudengdale。
bageling，zheideduoshaoqiana？goumaitamenshanshanghaojigemiaoleba。
keshi，tabushiduifangjieshaolaiderena！
tajiangzheifenxieyifangxialai，zhengxiangkaikou，duimianmeinvdeshoujiquezaizheishihouxiangleqilai。
meinvbuyuedejieqi，yitingduimianshuodehua，zhenggerenjiujidongdezhanleqilai。
“nishuoshenme！zhunbeihaodezhuboquanpaole！”
“nirangwoxianzaiqunalijinizhaozhubo！”
linyuxuanshuozhe，shixianluodaoduimianzheigexiaogegeshenshang。
zhangxianghaixing，shencaihaixing，jiushibuzhidaokoucaizenmeyang？
tajiangshoujishaoweinuoyuanleyidian，bijinmianqiandezhouyi。
“niyiqiandangguozhuboma？”
“没当过。”
“相声呢？”
“xiangshengyemeishuoguo，zhishijirensuanguogua......”
ok，koucaiyemeiwenti。
“xingle，nimendengzhe，woxianzailimadaiyigezhuboguolai。”
linyuxuankuaisuguaduandianhua，jiangxieyicongzhouyideshouliqiangleguolai，shundailaqizhouyidegebo。
“laibujile，nixianzaixiangenwoqujiugechang，heyuedeshiqingwomenzhihouzaishuo。”
“keshi......”
zhouyihaixiangjieshi，danshiquebeiduifangcubaodedaduan。
“nayouneimeduokeshi，genwolaijiuxingle！”
budengzhouyikaikou，duifangjiujingzhijiangtasaijinzijidehaocheli，yangzhangerqu。