第4章 平衡与抉择

《anyezhuizongzhe》dechenggong,rangwodemingzizaiyulequanzhonggengjiaxiangliang。suizhierlaide,shigezhonggeyangdejihuihexuanze。jingjirenlijiedeshoujijihumeitiandouhuishoudaoxindejubenyaoqing、shangyedaiyanyijihuodongyaoqing。mianduiruciduodexuanze,wokaishisikaoyigewenti:ruhezaishiyehegerenshenghuozhijianzhaodaoyigeheshidepinghengdian?

yitianxiawu,wohelijiezuozaitabangongshili,mianqianbaizhehouhouyidiejubenziliao。womenzhengzaitaolunjiexialaidegongzuoanpai。“yaoyao,nikanzheige。”lijiedijiwoyifenjubenjianjie,“zheishiyibudoushiqingganju,jiangshuleyiweizhichangbailingdeaiqinggushi,feichangshihenixianzaidexingxiangdingwei。”

wojieguoziliao,zixiyueduqilai。juzhongnvzhujiaodexinggeshedingqueshihenxiyinren——dulizizhudanyoubushiwenrouxini,zheiyangdejiaosewuyihuishoudaoguanzhongdexiai。raner,dangwokandaopaishezhouqiyujizhangdabannianshi,xinlibumianyouxieyouyu。“lijie,”wotaiqitouwendao,“ruguojiexiazheibuxi,neibushiyiweizhezheiduanshijianneiqitagongzuodouyaozantinglema?erqie……”

“erqienihaidanxinmeiyouzugoudeshijianpeibanjiarenduiba?”lijiesihukanchuanlewodexinsi,“qishizheiyeshiwoyizhikaolvdewenti。bijingnixianzaimingqidale,henduofangmiandouxuyaojiangu。danshiwojuede,youshihoushidangdexiuxiyeshibiyaode。womenkeyitiaoxuanyixiegaozhiliangdezuopinlaipai,tongshiyeyaobaozhengyouzugoudeshijianliujigerenshenghuo。”

jingguoshensishulvhou,wojuedingjieshouzheibuxinjudetiaozhan。weilenenggougenghaoditourudaojiaosedangzhong,wotiqianyigeyuekaishilezhunbeigongzuo。chuleyanjiujubenwai,wohaiteyiqutiyanleyiduanshijiandebailingshenghuo,lejietamenrichangdegongzuozhuangtaihexinlibianhua。zheiduanjinglirangwoduijiaoseyoulegengshenkedelijie,zaizhihoudebiaoyanguochengzhongyegengjiayourenyouyu。

yucitongshi,woyeyishidaobunengyinweimangliudegongzuoerhulveleshenbianzuizhongyaoderen。yushi,wohuijinliangliyongzhoumohuojiaqishijianhuijiakanwangfumu。jideyouyicihuijiaguojie,mamateyizhunbeileyizhuozifengshengdefancaiyingjiewo。dangwomenweizuozaiyiqichifanliaotianshi,neizhongwenxindeganjuerangwogandaowubixingfu。neiyike,womingbailewulunzaiwaimianduomefengguang,jiatingyongyuanshiwozuijianshidehoudun。

suizhexinju《aizaichengshi》dekaipai,wodeshenghuobiandegengjiachongshi。suiranmeitiandouyaomianduigaoqiangdudegongzuoyali,danzaijuzulijieshilexuduozhitongdaohedepengyou,dajiaxianghuzhichiguli,gongtongduguolexuduonanwangderizi。tebieshinanzhujiaolinyu,tashiyigefeichangyouxiudeyanyuan,bujinyanjichuse,erqieweirenqianxunyoushan。womenzaipianchangjingchangjiaoliuxinde,bicixuexijinbu。suizheshijiantuiyi,womenzhijiandemoqiyeyuelaiyuehao,shenzhiyoubushaofensikaishicaicewomenshibushizhendeqinglvguanxi。duici,womendouyixiaozhizhi,bingbiaoshixiwangdajiagengduoguanzhuzuopinbenshenerfeisirenshenghuo。

zhengdangyiqiekansishunlijinxingzhishi,yiwaiqueturanjianglin。moutianwanshang,wozaifanhuizhuchudelushangyudaoleyiweizichengshijizhedenianqingrenlanzhulequlu。“suxiaojie,qingwenninduiyuzuijinwangshangliuchuandeyixiefumianchuanwenyoushenmekanfa?”tashouchiluyinbi,zhijieledangdifawen。wolengleyixia,suijibaochiweixiaohuida:“ganxienindeguanxin,buguozheixiedoushiwujizhitan,woxiangxinzhenxiangchizaohuibeichengqing。”

raner,shiqingbingmeiyouxiangwoxiwangdeneiyangjiandanjieshu。jiexialaijitianli,guanyuwodeyaoyanyuechuanyueguang,shenzhiyoureneyipszhaopianzaoyaoshengshi。zheixiefumianxinxibujinyingxiangdaolewodexinqing,yekaishibojidaogongzuo。yixieyuanbenyijingtanhaodehezuoxiangmuyeyincigeqian。mianduizheizhongqingkuang,wogandaoshifenkunrao,buzhidaogairuheyingduicaihao。

jiuzaiwogandaowuzhudeshihou,gongsixunsucaiquxingdong,tongguofalvtujingweihuwodequanyi,bingqiejijiyugedapingtaigoutongshanchubushibaodao。tongshi,woyexuanzelezhengmianhuiyingcishi,zaishejiaomeitishangfabiaoshengmingchengqingshishi,bingbiaodalezijiduiyuwangluobaolilingrongrendetaidu。zheifenjiandinglichangyingdelezhongduowangyoudezhichi,henduorenliuyanguliwoyaojianqiangyonggandimianduikunnan。

jinglilezheicifengbozhihou,woduirenshengyoulegengshenyicengderenshi。wulunshishenchugaofenghaishidigu,douyaobaochiyikepingchangxin,buyaobeiwaijiedeshengyinsuozuoyou。gengzhongyaodeshi,yaoxuehuizhenxiyanqiansuoyongyoudeyiqie,baokuojiankangdeshenti、wennuandejiatingyijizhenzhidepengyou。zhiyouzheiyang,cainengzaizhuizhumengxiangdedaolushangzoudegengjiawenjian。