第4章 滚!我师尊是菩提老祖

fangcunshanxia,xiangjianxiaodao。

“kuailairena,zhuatougouzeia。”

“kuailairen,cunlizaozeile。”

“aiyou,woqu,paozheimekuai,zenmexiangzhihouzi。”

yiqunnongren,shounamugun、chutou,aoaojiaozhe,zaihoumianfengzhui。

zhuishenmezhui,bujiuliangzhixiaogouma?

sunwukongshifenwuyu,yihouerlangshendawodeshihou,tafangxiaotianquan,wobunengmeigouziyonga。

“kuai,dasizheigetougouzei。”

“扔石头。”

sunwukongyanzhuziyizhuan,heiheixiaodao:

“sheiganreng?woyaonimenliangtiaogou,shijinimenmianzi,zhidaowoshizunshisheima?lingtaifangcunshan,xieyuesanxingdongtingshuoguomeiyou?

putizushitingshuoguomeiyou?woshitadedizi。”

shuoba,paodegengkuaile……

……

斜月三星洞。

“呜……”

putizushidelaoliandunshikualexialai,zuilixiangshibieleyikouqi,quesibiezhetubuchulai。

“laoye,ninzheishizenmele?”

“你先出去。”

“是。”

灵云连忙退出。

dongmen‘kuang’deyishengguanshang,putidelaoliandunshizhangdetonghong,henhendao:

“wanhou,mingwanbuling,yubukeji。toufanrendegouzaizi,juranbaobenzuominghao……shisuanle,benzuoshisuanle。”

suishishanggulingmingshihou,kezhongjiushizhihouzi,guoyuludunle……

huhuchuanxiyizhen,tashenxiliangkouqi,liansezongsuanpingdanxialai:“lingyun。”

“老爷,弟子在。”

menwaidesihoudelingyun,lianmangtuimenjinlai,gongshenxingli。

“daishangqiancai,susuxiangdongsouxunwukong,bangtabagoumaixialai,lingwai,batayedailai。”

啊?

lingyunliansemimang,maigou?

“速去。”

“是。”

‘kuang’deyisheng,dongmenguanbi。

菩提忍不住嘀咕:

“yaohou,yubukeji……xiangbudaoa,xiangbudao,youyiribenzuojuranyaotitamaigou,xinghao,xinghao……”

taandao,xinghaolisunwukongdanaotiangong,haiyouhaoqibanian。

guanzhutadeshenxian,yeshaozhiyoushao,shenzhimeiyou。

yaoburan,diurenjiudiuda。

tangtangzhunsheng,weilezijidemingsheng,tihouzimaigou。

shuochuqu,jiurerenxiaohua。

不多时。

menwaixiangqilingyundeshengyin:“shizun,sunshidilaile。”

“呵呵。”

putixiangbianliandashiyiban,shangyimiaoqidelaoliantonghong,zheiyikehuranluchutiandandexiaorong:

“悟空,来来来。”

“是,师傅。”

tuikaimen,sunwukongbaozhelianggegouzaizi,heiheiyixiao。

suiranzhangdejianzuihousai,queluchuyifuhanhouxiang:“dizibaijianshifu。”

“haohaohao,lailailai,jinqianlai。”

daisunwukongshangqianliangbu,putilaozuhuanhuandao:

“wukong,nilaiweishizheili,longgongduoshaosuiyuele?”

shubuzhitadexiaolianfandaorangsunwukongxinzhongdalegehanzhan。

这是打感情牌?

又来?

又要套路是吧?

baozhebinglaijiangdangshuilaituyandexintai,sunwukongnaolenaotou,yifuyumugedadeyangzi:

“zheige,shizun,diziyudun,zhijidetiantiansaodi、cazhuozi,elejiuqushanjianzhaiyetaozichongji。”

“hehe,tingniyanyu,duishifuyuanqipoduo。”

“shizunshuoxiaole,dizibuneng,dizitiantiansaodicazhuozi,zheishentiyeyinglanglexuduo。

dizihaideduoxieshifuni,duile,jiushuogangcaiba,yaobushishifupailingyunshixiongjiuwo,wojiubeineixiediaomindasile。

shifu,nindedamingbuhaoyonga。

wodoubaonideminghaole,tamenhaiganzhuizhedaanlaosun。”

zheibushuomaigoudeshi,haihao。

yishuo,putizuijiaodejirou,dunshibuzijuedechoudonglejixia。

tashenxiyikouqi,huanlehuan,tiandandexiaorong,zhongxinhuidaolelianshang:

“hehehe……wukong,jinriniwoshitu,cengzaihoushanxiangjian,weishiyanyu,keyouwutou。”

“弟子悟透了。”

悟透了?

悟透了,来听经啊。

到底悟透什么了?

putiwuyudao:“haohaohao,shuoshuo,nidouwuchuleshenme?”

“是……呃……”

sunwukongyangzhuangdaibi,naolenaotou,xixixiaodao:

“shifu,ninzaihoushan,shuoleshenmelaizhe?diziyoudianjibuqingle,haiqingshifutidianyier。heihei,tidianyier。”

啊!!!

putishouyiduosuo,shoulidepushan,chadiandiaodishang。

这就是悟透了?

“nizheihusun,weishizuoxiadizi,jiesaodiqinian,chuchenqinian,tingjingqinian,caikechuanshoushentong,kezhiweihe?”

“弟子不知。”

sunwukongsaomeidalayan,chengshidehen。

zheihaiwule,wugeguia,putiyufawuyu。

sunwukonggangjinshandeshihou,tiantianqinkuaideyaosi,yixinqiuxianfangdao。

youshilingmingshihou。tabenyiweizheihouzi,yinggaijilingdehen。

sheizhidao,ganggangtingjingyitian,jiuluchulebenlaimianmu。

劣徒一个。

haiburuneitoushuichilidewangbawuxinggao!

putimuguangzaifangjianlizhuanlezhuan,yaxialedasilietudechongdong,hehexiaodao:

“ershiyinian,fangkexuedeshentong,naishimolianxinxingeryi。nibenshiwanhou,xinxingbuding,ruozaozaochuannishentong,haibuzhidaorechuduoshaohuoshi,donglema?”

“懂了。”

putizhangchuyikouqi,shuoderucimingbai,yaoshihaibudong,neikejiushibukejiuyaole。

“niqiejizhu,rihoubulunheshi,bulunhedi,bulunheshi,doubuxutouluweishiminghao,jizhulema?”

“jizhule,jizhule。”sunwukonglianliandiantou。

“bale,bale,weishifale,tuixia。”

半个时辰后。

putifangxiachawan,huranxinligedengyixia。

buhao,neihouzi,daoditingdongshenmele?

benzuojuranbeitaqide,wanglewenta。

他不会还不懂吧?

“lingyun,qiaoxiangqingshi。”

“是。”

putishenyingyihuang,chuxianzaidaochangdegaotaizhishang。

suizhe‘dangdangdang’deqingshisheng,xiangcheshanjian,waimiandunshixiangqicaozadejiaobusheng。

henkuai,diyigedizidaochang,bushiwukong。

dierge,dierge,jinlaigongshenxingli,qiangleputuanzuoxia,haibushiwukong。

呼啦啦。

piankejian,daochangneizuodemanmandangdang,queshizhongbujianwukong。

putishuangyanyibi,shoudouduosuole。

zheigeyaohou!yubukeji!

他懂什么了?

“悟空!!!”

taqiangrennuyi,zuichunqingdong,shengyinbuda,quechuanbianleshanye:“suoyoudizi,qielaitingjing。”

“suoyoudizi,qielaitingjing……”

“suoyoudizi,qielaitingjing……”

tadeshengyin,yuanyuanbuduan,zaishanjianbutingdehuixiang。

后山。

tingdaoputidehansheng,sunwukongzhijuehaoxiao。

tinggeguidejing,woziyoubailanzhengdao,ganmayaoting。

爱死不死。

wangbanianjing,aitingbuting。

“快吃,快吃。”

sunwukongnachujinrixitongjianglidexiantao,yiqieliangban,rengjiledahuanghedahei。

neiliangtiaoganggangzhengyandexiaogou,weibayaodefeikuai,wuwujiaozhekenshiqilai。