第一章穿越
genxinhunlaogongyiqichuanyuejinxiuxianshijie，tabianchengtianzhijiaozi，bujinshineimendashixiong，haishizhangmenjichengren，erwozeshizuiputonghaobuqiyandewaimendizi。
laogonglikefanlianburenren，bujinkanduanwodegebo，haichuyanfengciwo：“zaojiukannibushunyanle，jiupingnizheidianzise，jiwotixiedoubupei！”
womeixiangdaoyixiangtashikekaodeliangrenzhenmianmujingrucichoulou。
ketabuzhidao，qishiwomengenbenmeiyouchuanyue，zheizhishiyichangyouxi，tadesuoyouxingweiquanbubeiyouxihoutaijiluxialai。
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wohewolaogongzhangmingliangshidaxuetongxue，suiranwozhangdehaokan，jialitiaojianyouhao，kewoyizhimeiyoutanlianai，yinweiworenweitamenbushituwodelianjiushituwodeqian，zhidaowoyujianzhangmingliang。
talaoshimune，danquetashikengan，yeshizhenxinduiwohao，napajialitiaojianyibanyouqimaobuyang，wopengyoudoujuedewobeitaxialejiangtou，wohaishiyiwufangugentazaiyiqi，bingqiejielehun。
benlaishixinhundumiyue，meixiangdaowomenyunqijicha，yushangfeijishishi，dengzhengkaiyanjing，yijingdaolelingyigeshijie。
wokanjianxiaoditushangdaibiaowanjiadelvdianjiuzaibuyuanchu，kuaibuzoushangqian，buyihuierjiukanjianzhangmingliangzhengbuzhisuocuozhengzha：
“nimenshizaipaixima？wokemeiqianguoyue，haishishuozaigaoshenmezongyijiemu？”
“biepengwo！zhidaowolaoposhisheima！zhidaowolaozhangrenshisheima！zaiguolaiwobaojingle！”
yiqunchuanzheguzhuangdenannannvnvzhengweizhezhangmingliang，ertayechuanzhetongyangdeyifu，zhishixiukouyijiaodehuawengengweijingzhi。
“dashixiong！nizenmele？”
“nanbuchengshixiuliandezouhuorumolema！”
jigerenshouniejuexiangyaochakanqingkuang。
tahuanglihuangzhangjiaozhebieguolai、biepengwo，zhengzaishouzuwucuozhiji，jianwolaileyanqianyiliang：
“老婆！你来了！”
“zheilishinalia！shizanbatouzidejuzuma？kewozenmejidewomenlianggezaifeijishanga？feiji......duile......feijichushile！”
tashangxiadalianghouyixiabaozhuwo：“xinghaonimeishi！wodanxinsile！”
zheiyixiarangneixienannannvnvzhaleguo：
“dashixiongzheishizaizuoshenme！”
“neidizifushi......buguoshigewaimensasaodizi，zenmepeidashixiongrucizhejin？”
gengyouyigemianrongjiaoqiaodenvzishangqianbawochekai：
“haoyigewaimendizi，buquzhiqin，jingranluanhuangdaozheili，haipingzheyizhanghumeiziliangouyinweilaizhangmen，dadan！”
tayouduizhezhangmingliangsajiaodao：
“dashixiong！liuwushuangbuguoshigebeiweidewaimendizi，xiuweijinsiyuwu，zhiyouyizhangliannengkan，nikeqianwanbiebeitaqipian，dangelexiuxing！”
zhangminglianglenglengdikanzhezijideshou，shangmianshilianjianliuxiadejianzi，younaqizijishencepeijian，jianqiaoshangxiangqiandebaoshimingliangtouche，juefeifanpin。
“nandao......chuanyuele？shile......feijishishile......wokendingshisile......”
tanannandao，muguanglijinshimangran。
“wokantianshangshibushiyourenyujianfeixing，tamenyoujiaonidashixiong，kanlaizheishiyigexiuxiandeshijie，nichuanchenglemenpaidashixiong，haoxianghaishiweilaizhangmen，erwozhishiwaimendizi，”woguzuokeliandao，“dashixiong，nikebunengbuguanwoya。”
zhangmingliangquechongerbuwen，zheishitadiyicimeiyouhuiyingwodesajiao。
wozhidangtashibeichuanyue**henle，pataxinlichuwenti，zhengxianglazhutadeshounaixinjieshi：
“nifangxin，zanmenlianggenbenjiu......”
“dadan！”shuliao，tajingborandanu，“ququyigewaimendijiandizi，zenmeganzaiwoshenbianrucifangsi！sheigennizanmenliang！”
womeifanyingguolai，haixianglata，xiayiketabachubaojianjingzhijiekanduanlewodegebo：“bieyongnidezangshoupengwo！”
“a——！”wocanjiaoyishengdiedaozaidi，tengdeyanleidouchulaile。
quanxiyouxideaizhushouchajuedaowoshoudaogongji，zidongdiaodiwodetongjueganzhi，danneiyishunjiandetengtonghaishirangwohunshenzhanli。
“zhangmingliang，nifengle！”wobukezhixinkanta。
cishitadeshenserangwomosheng。
zhangmingliangjugaolinxiakanzhewochixiao：
“liuwushuang，nigaogaoqingchu，rujinwomenzaoyibushizaihepingdexianshishijie，ershiruorouqiangshidexiuxianshijieli，nishigezuidijidewaimendizi，woshidashixiong，shenfengaoshiliqiang，niesinijiuxiangniesimayi。”
wozhigougoukanzheta，haoxiangbeicitongyiban，taxinxudixiatou，quezaipiejianzijideyishishiyoudeyiqilai：
“gaosuni，nixianzaiyijingbushiadaxiaohua，yebushigaogaozaishangdeliuda**le，woquannishixiangxie，meizhunniduoqiuwoliangju，wohainengrangnilaineimensaodi！hahahahahaha！”
“wobashuodeshizhende，niguoranshigexuweidexiaoren！yuanlaineimeduoniannidouzaipianwo！”woqideyaoming，weilejiajita，wochadiangenwobamaduanjueguanxi，keshishiquezhengming，wocuole！cuodelipu！
tagenbenbushiwodeliangren！
“woxuwei？liuwushuang，ninandaojiubuxuweima？nibuguojiushiwangoulexiangzhaowozheigelaoshirenjiepan！burannihuiliancailidoubuyao？niyiweiwosha？”talengxiao，“nigennibamayiyang，dacongxindiliqiaobuqiwo！”
“nisongwoliangwandeyifu，daiwoqugaodangxiaofeichangsuo，buguojiushixiangxinshangwoshouzuwucuodejiongtai，yicimanzunieliedequwei，wozaojiukanchuannile！biezaijiaxingxingzhuangmozuoyang！haozailaotianyouyan，fengshuilunliuzhuan。”
“zhidaoshenmemoqishaonianqiongma！liuwushuang，rujinzanmenlianggeqingshidiandao，woquannifangxianideda**jiashi，zhengkaiyanjingkankanba！”
zhangmingliangshuodejidong，koushuipenchulaoyuan。