第1章 土包子坐飞机

“shouling,nizhendedasuanhuiqu?guoneizhongpingpingdandandeshenghuo?”xiezilinmanlianjiaojidikanzheyanqianzheigebizijinianjixiaohenduo,keshitaquexinganqingyuanhanyisheng“shouling”dishaonian。

zheishaonianyuemoshibajiusuidenianji,lianshangzhiqiweituo,keshineishuangqiheibujiandidemouziquechongmanleyutanianjibuxiangfudecangsang。

“yanjuanle,suoyi,jiulikaile。xianzai,wozhixiangguopingjingdeshenghuo。”zhouchenxiaohehedikanzhexiezilin,zuijiaogouqiyimodandandiweixiao。

laidaozheigeyiyuguoduyijingsanniandeshijianle,tayecongdangniandezhiqishaonianchengzhangweileyigenanrenle,suiranzaizheiliyouzhetadexuduoxiongdi,danshitaquezhidao,zheilibingbushuyuta!

“nandao,nandaonihaizaiyinweixiaoxuedeshiqinger……”

“goule!”jiuzaixiezilinhaixiangyaoshuoxieshenmedeshihou,benlaidaizheweixiaodezhouchenliansezhouranyibian,zhenggerendoufangfobianchengleyitouxiongmengzhijideyeshou,neishuangchongmanshaqidemouzisihuyaozerenershiyiban,wubikongbu。

xiezilinyeyishidaozijishuocuohuale,xiaoxinyiyidiyanleyankoushui,yeyouxiehouhuizijimeiyouguanzhuzijidezui,zheigeshaonianlaochengdenanren,tadenilinkenengjiushineigenvrenleba?keshizijiqueyinweixiangjiangtaliuzaizheili,erbaneigenvrentichulai,zheishizaishicuodekepaa!

xujiuzhihou,zhouchenzhongyuhuiguoshenlai,tashenshendixilekouqi,taiqitoulaikanxiangyouxiebuzhisuocuodexiezilin,xiaolexiao,shuodao:“xiedage,wozhidaonidexiangfa,keshizheilizhendebushuyuwo,wotaoyanzheizhongsishadeshenghuole,erqiepingniheqitaxiongdidenengli,woxiangxinjiusuanmeiyouwo,yemodediweiyeshiwukehandongde。”

xiezilinzhidao,zheigenanrensuirannianjibuda,keshitadexingziquefeichangdezhiao,zhiyaoshitajuedingdeshiqing,jiujueduibuhuigaibian。

xiangdaozhei,xiezilinyouxietuirandetanxiyisheng,kuseyixiao,shuodao:“chenge,nibenyinggaishizheiyipiantudishangdewang,buguorengeyouzhi,xiwang,xiwangnijianglaikeyiguodegenghao,wosongsongniba?”

“buyongle!”zhouchenbailebaishou,shuodao:“songjunqianlizhongxuyibie,jiuzaizheiligaobieba!haiyou,rangneixiejiahuobuyaozailaizhaowole,tianxiameiyoubusandeyanxi,wozhixiangguopingdanyidiandeshenghuo。”shuowan,zhouchenbeishangzijidexinglibao,xiaosaliqu,zhiliuxiayilianshiluodexiezilin。

kanzhejianjianyuanqudenianqingrenxiaosadebeiying,xiezilinyouxiewanxideyaoleyaotou,dibukewendidao:“chenge,qishidangchudeshiqingzhendebuguainia……”

……

“meinv,zheige,zheige,haiyouzheige,en,quandouzaijiwolaiyifen。”feijishang,yigeshenchuanhuisezhongshanzhuangdenianqingxiaohuozizuilichizheyimian,tongshihaihemeilidekongjiesuoyaozheqitashiwuheyinliao。

zheiyangdexingweidunshirangfeijishanghenduodechengkeluchulexianehebiyizhise,qizhongyigeshoushangdaizhesansigejinjiezhi,bozishanghaiguazheyitiaojinlianzidetutounanzichixiaodishuodao:“zhenshitubaozi,hezheizhongsuzhiderentongzuoyibanfeijizhenshiyoushishenfena!”

“jiushi,zhenbuzhidaozheijiahuoshizenmezuoshangfeijide,gaibuhuishiqiangjiefanba?”

“duie,nikankan,tachuandeduohansuan,yinggaimeiqianzuofeijideba?”

mianduizheixieliuyanfeiyu,zhouchenhaobuzaiyi,yijiushiziguzidimaitouchizhezijideshiwu,buguotaxinliqueyouxiebuxiedelengxiao,“nimenzheixiejiahuoyouzenmehuizhidaoshiwudezhongyaoxingni?”suiji,jixulangtunhuyanqilai。

zhouchenmeiyoushenmexiangshoumeishidexiguan,yinweizaifeizhou,dabufenshijiandouzaishengsizhijianduguo,ezheduzisharenshijiachangbianfan。jinkuaidejinshi,huifutili,caishishengcundewangdao。

chibaolefanzhihou,zhouchenshushufufudedalegebaoge,zhengzhunbeituodiaoxiezishushufufudeshuiyijue,quetingdaozijideshenpangyigelenglengdishengyinchuanlai:“zheilishigonggongchanghe,nixiangshuijuemeiwenti,danshiqingbieyingxiangdaoqitaren!xiexie!”

tingdaozheihua,zhouchenzheicaixiangdaozhouweihaiyouqitaren,tashanshanyixiao,zheicaizhuyidaozijideshenbianjuranshiyigenvhaizi,bujinruci,zheigenvhaizihaizhangdefeichangdepiaoliang,baisedelianyiqunjiangtaqinglengdeqizhichentuodelinlijinzhi,jingzhidewuguandapeidefeichangdewanmei,henzhangshijianmeiyoujiandaozheiyangmeilidedongfangnvzile,zhouchenyishijianjurankandechushenle。

taniangde,zaiguowaijiandaodedoushiyixiedayangma,zheiyangdongfangqizhichuzhongdexiaoniutanalijiandaoguoa,zhouchenbuyoudeanziqingxingzijiyunqihao,juranzuoyitanghuiguodefeijidoukeyiyushangzheiyangdejuesenvzi。

sihuganjuedaolezhouchendeyanshen,baiyinvziliumeiqingzhou,jianglianpiandaolingyibian,duiyuzheiyangdeqingkuangtanglinzaojiuyijingjianguaibuguaile,yitaqinglengdexingzi,genbenlandequhechi,erhuixuanzelengmoduidai。

buguozheicitanglinxinliyouxieqiguai,tashenshangbinglengdeqixiyibannanrendoushibuganzhishide,keshizheigexiaozijuranyidianerganjuedoumeiyou?

heng,jiusuanzheiyangyouruhe?gujijiushigedanzidadiandetubaozibale。

ganjuedaotanglindedongzuo,zhouchenhuiguoshenlai,heiheiyixiao,diaozhenglegeshufudezishi,huanhuandibishangleshuangyan。

“geweiqinaidechengke,dajiahao,henbaoqian,jinimendelvtudailailejingxi,wohewodexiaohuobanzuijinshoutouyoudianjin,suoyi,qingdajiaduoduopeiheyixia,jiangzhiqiandedongxidounachulai,ruoshibupeihedehua,hehe,kejiubieguaiwomenxiongdixinhenshoulale!”

huran,yigezhangxiangyinlengdenanzizhanqishenlai,juzheshouzhongdeshamozhiyingshouqiang,xiaoxixidishuozhe。

benlaiyijingjinrushuimianzhuangtaidechengkemenquandoujingxingleguolai,tamenzenmeyemeiyouxiangdao,zheizhizaidianshihexiaoshuolidejingtoujuranhuichuxianzaitamendetoushang。

youxiedanxiaodenvrenrenbuzhujianjiaoyisheng,keshisuiji,“peng”diyisheng,zhenggeshijiedouanjinglexialai,benlaihaixiangyaojianjiaodenvrenmendeshengyindunshijiaranerzhi。

zhiqianjiaoshengzuidadeneigenvrencikeshuangyanyuanzheng,sihuhaibuxiangxinzijijuranjiuzheiyangsiqule。

zheishihou,suoyourendouyishidaoleyijianshiqing,zheibushipaixi,zheishizhendejieji!

jiandaozaichangderenquandouanjinglexialai,neigekaiqiangdefeitusihuhenshimanyi,tachaoshenhoudeshouxiahuilehuishou,shuodao:“dajiabuyaowuhui,womenzhiyaoqiancai,bingbuxiangyaonimendeming,ruoshinimenhaohaopeihedehua,wokeyidanbaonimenmeishi,ruoshinimenshebudepocaixiaozai,neimejiubieguaixiongdimenbukeqile!”

zuihouyijuehenhendihuarangfeijishangdesuoyourendounieleyibahan,tongshitizhedexinyefangsonglexialai,bijingtamenzheiyangderenzhishiqiucai,erqiancaiduiyutamenlaishuogenbenbusuanshenme,qianmeiyoulehaikeyizhuan,danshimingquezhiyouyitiaoa。

ranertanglindeliansequebiandeyichangdenankanleqilai,taxiaoxinyiyidijinlejinyizhibeitazhuazaishouzhongdebaoguo,yishizhijianquebuzhidaogaizenmebanle。

“zenmehuizheimeqiao?!”tanglincikexinzhongyichangjiaoji,tazheiciquouzhoujiushiweileyaonahuizheijianshuyutamuqindedongxi,weilefangzhiyouxinrendeguanzhu,tahaiteyixuanzechengzuolezheizhongputongcang,keshiquemeiyouxiangdaohaishiyushanglezheiyangdemafan。

huran,tanglinnaohaizhongyigeniantoushanguo,sihuxiangdaoleshenme,mofeizheixierenjiushichongzijilaide?dunshi,tanglinxinzhongdenuqicengcengshangyong,shenshangneibinglengdeqizhiyegengjiadelengliqilai。

“en?zheigenanrenzenmehuishi?douyijingfashengzheiyangdeshiqingle,tajuranhainenggoushuidezhe?”huranjiandaozijishenpangneigechuanzhezhongshanzhuangdenianqingchihuonanjuranhaizaishuijue,tanglindunshijuedeyouxiehuangtang,keshizhuannianyixiang,taxinzhonghuranyouxiexianmuyanqianzheigexiaonanrenle。

yaoleyaotou,tanglinlandejixudalishenpangdenanzi,ershiyouxinchongchongdejinlejinshouzhongdebaoguo,tamentangjiahuafeilehendadedaijiacaijiangmuqindedongxijinongdaoshou,quemeiyouxiangdaohaishibeirensuanjile。

zenmeban?nandaojiuzheiyangjiangdongxijiaochuqume?!

“heihei,xiaoniu,jiangnishenshangzhiqiandedongxiquandoufangjinlaiba。”

dangzhenshipashenmelaishenme,tanglinxinzhongzhenghaipazheneixiejiahuolaizhaoziji,danshigailaidehaishilaile。

buguanruhe,tanglinhaishijiangzijishenshangdeshoushiquandouzhaixialaihuanhuandifangjinledaililimian。

suiranyijingxiangdaobeirensuanjile,danshitanglinxinzhonghaishibaozhehendadehuanxiang,huanxiangzhezijidecaiceshicuowude。

“xiaoniu,nishoulidedongxikehaimeiyoujiaochulaini,kuaidianba。womengejigezhiqiucai,buxiangshangrenxingmingde。”neigefeitulengxiaozhekanzheyouyubujuedetanglin,sihuchidingyanqianzheigenvrenle。

tingdaozheigejiahuodehua,tanglinmengrantaiqitoulai,neishuangqinglengdemouzishanshuozhebinglengdeguangmang,raoshifeituxionghanyichangyebeiyanqianzheiweibingshanmeirenbinglengdeyanshenjiheleyitiao,“shisheipainimenlaide?”

“ha,haha……”neifeitushaoshaoyileng,suijihahadaxiaoleqilai,shuodao:“xiaoniu,ninaomenzhuanghuaidiaoleba?shenmesheipaiwomenlaide?jieji,womenzheishijieji,nitamadebudonglaozishuoshenmema?”

“heng,jieji?!”tanglinlengxiaoyisheng,shuodao:“nimencongtoudaoweidoumeiyouyaotaiguizhongdedongxi,zhishiyaoleyixieshoushi,ruguozhenshineiyangdehua,neimenimenzheiqunfeitushizaishitaiguoyuchunle,feijipiaonandaobuyaoqianme?erqiejiejidefengxianyaogengdaba?”

meicuo,tanglinzhidao,zheijiushiyichangyinmou,yichangzhenduitadeyinmou!

“wei,woshuonimenhairangburangrenshuijuelea?”jiuzaineifeitubeitanglinbiwendewuyanyiduideshihou,zhouchendalegehaqianzhengkaileyanjing。