《lujianbupingjiuchufa》jiemuzuguolejitiangongbulejiabinminge，fenbieshidanghongxiaohuayuyao、liuliangwanghongxinjiangmeinvayinuer、changtiaoaidoushenxingze、yinghoulinlan、qinggetianwangsonghao、guoqitongxingyuchengyijiyiweishenmijiabin。
guanyuzheiweishenmijiabinwangyoumenyouxuduocaice，yuchengdengrenqueyijingnadaoleneibuxiaoxi，quedingleshiyingdipeijinglan。
peijinglan，yulequandeyiguqingliu，heyuchengwanquanxiangfan。chudaoyilaicanyandedianshijuyanyibubaoyibu，dajiangnadaoshouruan。houlaikaishipaishedianying，youchengweileneiyuweiyiyige30suiyixiadebaiyipiaofangnanyanyuan。
yuchenghuiyileyixiajuqing，peijinglanzailimianjiushiyigebeijingban，buguoshiyigefeichangyougexingdebeijingban。
tajidezaiyuanzhuhouqi，yuyaokaozhezongyidahuo，jielehaojigehaojuben，zainajiangzhihougongkaibiaomingzijideouxiangjiushipeijinglan，quanleyi**fensi。
suhenghaiyinweizheigeshiqingchicule，heyuyaozaicheshangkaiqileyichangtataotazhuide**xima。
jieguohoulaiyuyaodefensizhijietielianwenpeijinglanxiangbuxiangheyuyaohezuo，peijinglanjuranzhidandandishuoleyijuburenshi。
henkuangyehenao，danshitaqueshiyouzheigeziben。
yuchengwangxiafanlefanpinglun，jibenshangdoushimatade。
【zenmeyouyuchenga？zhendehaohuiqi。】
【youmeiyougaocuoa？yuchengzenmedaochuceng，nengbunenggunchuyulequan。】
【yuchenggunchuyulequan！】
【e，butaiguanzhuyulequan，yuchengyoushenmeguaa？wojidetayandeneigesongying，tebielingdeyanji。】
【tayejiuneiyigezuopin，houmianyandedoushishenmea。youzuoyoubuzunzhongqianbeiyoubuaihuxiaodongwu，xianzaihaichulejinzhuzheizhongchouwen，tazhendewukejiuyaole。】
yuchengdongledongshouzhi，youdianyangyang。
marenyishishuang，yizhimarenyizhishuang。
yuchengjuedezijishijinianqiandekudoubaishoule，zaozhidaojieju，tajiuyinggaifangzongyiba。
danshidahaoyijingbeiqinlinqiangzhishouhuile，yuchengtanleyikouqi，zhuaguolailepangbiandemeiqiu，shijingdiroulehaojiba。
meiqiushiyizhibuhudeluojimao，biqitatongjimaodeyanseyaobaishangxuduo，yinweiyuchenghenzhuzhongdongtianduitadebaonuan，danshiyuchengpatabeiyouyuguobaierbeiqitajidumaoxianqi，zheicaijitaqilemeiqiuzheigemingzi。
meiqiurenyoutaroulehaojiba，shenchushetoutianletiantadeshou，maolianmianwubiaoqing，miaomiaomiaodijiaolehaojisheng。
ren，zheizhoufashengshenmeshule，nizenmewenqilaikukude。
yuchengmengxihaojikou，kaikou：“mao，rendeshinibudong。”
meiqiubuchushengle，taiqizhuazi，cenglecengyuchengdelian。
——
《lujianbupingjiuchufa》jiemucaiyongdeshizhiboheluboyiqijinxingdemoshi，zaidiyiqizhengshikaishizhiqian，jiemuzushuoyaoxianjinxingyigexiandaopiandeluru，jutidexingshiquehaimeiyoutongzhi。
yushidiertian，daoyanzukangzhezhangqiangdapao，yilubashansheshuidilaidaoleyuchengjiali。
shexiangxiaogecalecahan，youxiewuyudikaikou：“wozheixiazhidaoyuchengqianjinianneitiaoweibodeyisile。”
pangbianderenqichuanyuyudiwen：“shenmeweibo？”
shexiangxiaogeda：“tashuotajiaxiamianyoudeshiren。”
“dangshidajiadouzaichuantaguyixuanfu，jiazhuangzijishihaomenqianjin，xianzaiwomingbaile，shiyinweitazhudinglou。”
全场的人：……
budong，tamenzhendebudong。
fudaoyantongyangcalecahan，zhihuirendahaoshebei，“lailailai，kaishizhibole。”
menlingdangdangdangdixianggebuting，yuchengroulerouyanjing，mimihuhudichaomenkouzouqu。
shenshangneijiankuansongdenailongshuiyisuizhetadezoudongweiweibaidong，weibayishuaiyishuaide，moyanghantaikeju。
tadakaimen，jiemuzudejingtoubianduileguolai，tadaoxiyikouliangqi，jingkongdidengdaleshuangyan。
meirengaosutaxiandaopianshizheimepaidea！
【woquzheishisheia？haotebiedeyizhanglian，rangwodoulengleyixia。】
【suirandanshi，wokanjianletadeyanshi……】
【aaaxiaosiwole，zenmehuiyounvmingxingchuanzheizhongshuiyiaxiaosiwole！】
【yuchengzenmezheimezhuanga？buhuiyoushiguyizhizaoredudeba？】
【wojuedezheicibushiguyidehahahatajingkongdebiaoqingbuxiangjiade。】
【woshinailong！bu，tacaishinailong！】
jiemuzuderenyemeiliaoxiangdaoshizheiyangyigechangmian，mingmingzuotianyijingdoutongzhilemeigerenjintianhuiyouzheiyangyigehuanjie。
fudaoyanhairenbuzhuzaixinlidianlediantou，bukuishiruquanshiduoniandeyanyuan，yanjiqueshibucuoa！
chouchouzheijingkongdebiaoqing，yidianyebuxiangjiade！
zheixiadajiadouzhidaotamendejiemumeiyoujubenle，yuchengzhenshimeibaiqing！
yuchengyingzhetoupikaikou：“zheiduankeyijiandiaoma？”
fudaoyanxiemeiyixiao：“baituo，womenzheigekeshizhibo。”
yuchengkezhenhuigaojiemuxiaoguo！
yuchenghongwenle，yuandibianchengyikelizhengzhanhaodefanqie。
tabilebiyan，weixiaodao：“dajiahao，woshiyanyuanyucheng，huanyingdajialaicanguanwojia，qingjin。”
【wandanleaitibierengangademaobingfanle！】
【diyicizairendeweixiaozhongkandaolejuewang。】
【xiaosiwolehahahahahahahaxiaodexiaonvzibucai，xiaodejinshanyinshanquandouyou，xiaodexiaonvziyimingwuhu，xiaodejidanyadanhebaodan，xiaodegongzixiangbeizou，xiaonvzixiangnanzou，xiaodegongzibuqinglai，xiaodejiangjunfeiti，xiaodejinyexingguangshanshan，xiaodeliuxingjielibuchuanlai！】
yuchengdejiagendajiaxiangxiangzhongdebutaiyiyang。
fugulvdeshujiahemibaisedeshafaxingchengxianmingduibi，shujiaxiafanghaiyouyigejingqiaodemaowo，chajishanghaifangzheyigetoumingdebolihuaping，chuchuchongmanzheshenghuoqixi。
yuchengquxilebalian，jiemuzuchenzhezheigeshijianjilemeiqiujigetexie。
【woquzheizhiluojimaohaohaokana，haoxiangyikouchidiao，maofahaihenbaini。】
【renjiamingmingshijiaotongjimaohaobuhaoa？】
【yinggaishijialinuanqihenzu，zheiyangdehuajiuburongyibianhei。】
【bushishuoyuchengnvedaixiaodongwuma？neitajializahaiyangmaoa？】
【haoxiangbushinvedaiba，shikanjianliulanggoushierbujian，ganjueyetingzhengchangde，buzhidaoweishayouneimeduorenheitazheiyidian。】
yuchengxiwanlianhuilai，meiqiujiucengdaoletapangbian，guaiguaidiwozaizaihuailibudongle。
节目组开始问问题。
“nipingshilvxingcishuduoma？”
yuchenghuida：“duodaowojiamaoyiweiwoshikuaidiyuan，zhengtiantuozhexiangzijinjinchuchu。”
bijingtahudaojibenshangmeiyourenhegongzuo。
“……”
“nizuinanwangdeyicilvxingzongyishishenme？”
yuchenghuida：“youyiciwozaihaibianpaizhao，jieguobeilangjuanzouletuoxie，zuihouguangzhejiaozouleyizhengtian，ganjuezijixianggexiandaibanhuiguniang，zhishimeiyouwangzilaisongxie。”
“……”
“niduizheicilvxingyoushenmeqidai？”
yuchenghuida：“woqidainengxiangdianyinglineiyang，zaijietououyuyigeshuaiqidedangdiren，jieguofaxiantashigedaoyou，haidefutaqian。”
“……”
fudaoyanshenxiyikouqi，“niduizheicilvxingzuidadedanyoushishenme？”
yuchenghuida：“wozuidanxindeshiwodemeimaohuibuhuiyinqidangdirendeweiguan，bijingwozheizhanglianzaiyiguotaxiangkenenghuiyinfajiaotongdusai。”
“噗—”
shexiangxiaogeshizaimeirenzhu，tazheiyishengfangfodianranlequanchang，yinfaleyichangbaoxiao。
kanzhexiaodedongdaoxiwaidezhongren，yuchengyibenzhengjing，“xiaomaoa？”