钮钴禄鸟，强势归来
9、
wokangfuzhihou，benxianghuijiaguonian，naihelaojiadefumuyebinglele，pachuanranjiwo，bianjiaowobuyaohuiqu，jiudiguonian。
jiuzheiyang，woliuzaiyuandi，guoleyigejiweiguadandenian。suoxingwuzilibuzhiyouwoyigehuowu，wogandaowuliaodeshihou，hainengqudoudousanbai。
rouroutadexiaonaodai，batadoudehaixiuzhamaozhihou，zaidaxiaozhepaodiao，yebushiweiyizhonglequ。
……
nianguowanzhihou，chuntianjiulaile。
keke，wodeyisishi，wodechuntianyeturanlaile。
jintianxiabandeshihou，zuozaiwoduimiangongweineigelaishixidenandaturanjiaozhulewo，hanxiudaiqiediwenwoxiabanzhihouyoumeiyoukong，taxiangqingwokangedianying。
“jiudanghuibaojiejieduiwoyizhiyilaidezhaogu。”shuozheihuadeshihou，nandadelianhonghongde，jihuyaodidaoxiongkouqu，kanshangquchaojikeai。
e，wodelaotiannaia，zhongyumingbainanrenkantianmeishishenmeganjuele。
wozuoweiyigeershiliusuidezhengchangqingniannvxing，xianglaiduikeaidenandayoutianrandehaogan，nalijindeqizheiyisheng“qianbei”，yikelaoxindunshihuachenglechunshui，yushimangbudiedidayinglenandadeyaoqing。
xianeryijian，nandaduiwoyoudianyisi。
tatiaodeshiyibuaiqingpian，zaikandianyingdeshihou，haiyizhibashentiwangwozheibianqingxie。
woshenzhinengganjuedaotazaiwojingwobianyuanbujingyijianliuxiadewenretuxi。
yunyunhuhudi，wozhijuedeneizhongxiaonaigouteyoudetianxianghebaomihuadexiangqiyiqiyimanlewodezhenggexiongqiang。
……
dianyingsanchangdeshihou，nandadeshouyijingzirandiloushanglewodejianbang。
taditouwangzhewo：“jiejie，xianzaizheimewanle，buru……quwojiazuozuo？”
“wojiayangdemaohuihoukongfan。”
tingdaozheili，woyuanbenwumisandaodeyanjingdunshiqingmingleqilai。
woxintagegui，zheixiaobieduzihuaidehen。
shenmezuozuo，wokantafeijinxinsidizhengzheimeyiwanshang，shixianghewozuozuo！
wopaikaitadazaiwojianbangshangdeshou，lengkudihuijueleta，bingqiewushiletazaiwobeihoufachudehuhan。
呵，男人。
10、
wozouchudianyingyuan，zongganjueyounalibuduijing，danyoushuobuchulaishinali。
turan，wosongranjingjue：“……niao！wojintianmeiweiniao！”
zaochenwochumendeshihou，jiukanjianzidongweishiqilideniaoliangyijingjiandile，wodangshibenxiangzhexiabanhuijiajiumashangbaliangjisanbaimanshang，quemeixiangdaobanlubeinandayuequkanledianying，yizhidangedaoshenyecaihuijia。
woqiazhiyisuan，anzhaosanbaideshiliang，takendingyijingbaniaoliangquanbuxuanwanle，xianzaigujizhengchuyuedexiangkenpendezhuangtai。
“aaaasanbai！mamaduibuqini！guangguzhejinizhaobabale！！！mamazheijiuhuilai！“
huaichuaizheshenzhongdefuzuigan，woguangsufeibenhuijia，yilushangdouduixukongzhongdesanbaisuisuinianzheduibuqi。
guobuqiran，dakaijiamendeyishunjian，yidaofennudehuangbaiseyingzijiuhudaolewodelianshang。
“jiujiu！！jiujiujiu！！！（zheimewancaihuijia！！nixiangesiwoma！！！）”sanbaiyongzhuazijiuzhewodelingzi，zuilihaibuganbujingdimazheniaoyu，jiuchameizaiwotoudingshanglashixiefenle。
wozizhilikui——fangzheweiwoshijideqinergulinglingzaijia，fanerpaochuquhexinhuaipocedeyenanrensihun，haoxiangqueshiyoudianshuobuguoquha。
woyimianjiweishiqilitianliangtianshui，yibianhaiyaotengchuyizhishoulaianfutoudingbaozaodexiaoniao：“sanbaiguai，jintianshimamadecuoha，mamabuyinggaiwangjiweinide，doushimamabuhao……”
hongzhehongzhe，suiransanbaihaishijijinongnongdizaiwotoudingdunang，danshihenmingxianpingjinglebushao；tadezhuazihehuihaishibuanfen，danhaishinengganjuedaoxianzaidedongzuohefangcaidebutong。
gangcaisanbaihenmingxianshizaixiefenshidizhuoren/batoufa，xianzaizeshimamalieliedizaitiwoshunmao。
我松了一口气。
这祖宗总算消停了。
11、
沈三百很生气。
shenkezheigehuainvren，chumenguihundaozheimewan，haiwangjiweita，jianzhishibukeraoshu。
yaobushishenkebaozhetayouqinyoumo，haishuoshenmezuixihuanta，tacaibuhuiyuanliangta。
……ze，shenkechuquguihunyejiusuanle，zenmeshenshanghainongdezheimeluan？toufaheyifulingzidouxiangbeipibengguoyiyang。
eduile，tayoumeiyoujianzui，zenmedaliziji？
suanle，wodaniaoyoudaliang，bangtaliyixiasuanla。
sanbairushixiangzhe，biebieniuniudishenchuhuitishenkeqinglileqilai。
shenkezhenshide，mingmingdoushijialiyouniaoderenle，juranhaitiantianyigerenchuquxiaosa，liuxiajialideniaodushoukongfang。
sanbaibiantishenkeshutoufabianfenkaidixiang，guorannvrendoushichaosanmuside。
qianduanshijianxiangzijiqiuoudeshihouyigezuilian，zijidayingtazhihou，taguorizideshihouyoushilingyifuzuilian。
shenkezhenshishenzaifuzhongbuzhifu，chulezheidaomen，tashangnaliquzhaozijizheiyangxianhuidehaoniao？
……
turan，shensanbaifaxianleyijiannengrangtaxinzangzhoutingdedongxi。
tacongshenkejianbangshangdeyifuzhezhoufenglifaxianleyigenbushuyushenkedetoufa。
shenkeyiniansijidoushiheisedebanzhangfa，danshizheigenheizongsedetoufamingxianduandebuzhengchang，erqiehaidaizhejuan。
cishizaizixiwenshenkedeshenshang，hainengfaxianyigunihuhudexiangwei。
sanbaibuyoudetingxialezuishangdeshulidongzuo，zhengzhiniaodouqideweiweifadou，congtouguandaoweiyu，hunshenshangxiasuoyoumaodouzhaleqilai。
fuxinnvshenkeduisanbaidebianhuahunranbujue，haizaineimeixinmeifeidishaxiao：“zenmele？sanbai？zenmebushule？”
woshunigedatougui，niquchishiba。
“e^sanbainiganmaya，tongtongtong，nisongzui，zhuaziyesongkai！”fuxinnvfachulecanjiao。
nuhuozhongshaodeshensanbai（yuanfuban）wanquanbuweisuodong，zhuodegengqijingle。
songzui？hehe，bukenengde。
jintianbunaosinizheigebuanyushidefuxinren，laozijiubujiaoshensanbai。
12、
diertianqilaideshihou，wojianzhizhenggerendoubuhaole，yuanyinwuta——zuotiansanbaibuzhidaoweishenmeturanfafeng，kaishizaiwotoudingshangfengkuangzuoluan，bawodetoufaquandoujinongdedajiele。
wozaixishoujiandejingziqianmianshulezhengzhengshifenzhong，quezenmeshuyeshubutongtoushangneixiesijie。
gengkeedeshi，zaiwohetoushangdesijiedouzhengdaodishiyifenzhongdeshihou，neizhishizuoyongzhejuranhaigandayaodabaidiputengzhechibangfeijinlai，duizhewofachuchaoxiaoyiyangdeshengyin。
kanzhexishoutaishangzhengzaiyaotouhuangnaodebianmaochusheng，wozhongyushengqile。
sheijiachongwu，zuochengzheifudayemoyang！
bierenjiadechongwudouduizhurenyantingjicongde，zaibujiyeshiwenrouxiaoyi，nahuixiangwojiazheizhichouniaoyiyangzuoweizuofu？
bianshipaobianlezhenggeshangjing，pashiyezhaobuchuwozheibanwonangdezhuren！
wohaizuoshenmezhurena？haishishoushishoushi，xishouyutazuosunziba！
woyuexiangyueqi，yuexiangyueqi，zhongyu“pa”diyisheng，yonglidibashuziguandaoxishoutaishang，hedeneizhizhengzaiyaowuyangweidechouniaosuolesuotou。
woheizhelian，genbenbuxiangduokanzheigetaozhaidejiahuoyiyan，fanshoushuaishangxishoujiandemenjiuchuqule。
zoudaojiamenkou，woshunshouyoucongmenkoudeyimaojiashangnaleyidingmaozi，quandangzhechou，huluanyigai，jiudingzheyitouluanzaozaodejiequshangbanle。
13、
dengdaowohuijiadeshihou，yijingshiwanshangqidianduo，tiansejianjiananchen，xiaoqulidezhuhukaishiliangqidengguang，meijiameihudechuangkoudoushanshuozheyanhuoqi。
wotuozhepibeideshenzipashangwulou，zaijiamenkouzhanding，danshoutaochuyaochikaimen。
wuzilizhaolishiyipianheian。
woqiaoqiaosuantongdejianbang，congtoushangquxiazhechoudemaozi，huanshangtuoxie，jinmenjingzhidaoshafashangchengbitichongzhuangtangxia。
ai，zuorenzhendehaonana。
xiangzhejintianneigenangaodejiafang，haiyoumingtianneigeyouchouyouzhangdebumenhuiyi，wozhijuedeshifenxinlei，buyoudezhangzhangditanleyikouqi。
wodetanxiyouyoudihuidangzaifangzili，chendezhouweidehuanjingyufadijijing。
……等等，寂静？
woturanyishidao，haoxiangyounalibudui——jintiandefangzili，queshihaoxianganjingdeyouxiefanchang。
wangchangdezheigeshihou，sanbaizaogaicongbuzhidaonagejiaoluolizuanchulai，pushanzhechibangzhandaowodejianbangshang，chongwojiaoqidijiujiujiao，zhenggeketinglidoushitadeshengyin。
danjintian，sanbaiqueyifanchangtaidibuzhidaoqulenali。
对了！
洗手间！
wojuranguanlesanbaiyitian！
baitianchumenshangbanqianfashengdeneixiechangjingturancongwodenaohailimaolechulai，woyiguliupaqilai，jicongcongdixiangxishoujianpaoqu。
sanbaibuhuishieyunleba？tabeiguanzailimian，kendingmeibanfachulaiquzidongweishiqineilichiliang。
我忐忑而自责地想。
wozaizenmeshengqi，yebugaixiangbaitianneiyang，buguanbugudibamenyishuaijiuzou。
bijingsanbaiherenbuyiyang，tazaizenmehun，yezhishiyizhixiaoniao，yidaobeishuaishangdemenduitalaishuojiuyijingshihendadezhangaile。
tasuirancongming，danbijingzhiyouneimedianliqi，zhikaoziji，shiwanquanwufachulaide。
raner，dangwodakaixishoujiandemenzhihou，queshenmeyemeiyoukanjian。
xishoujianlikongkongdangdang，chuledishangdiaoxialaideneipianxiaorongmao，jiuzaiyezhaobuchudongwucunzaidehenji，henmingxian，sanbaiyebuzaizheili。
wodeshixianyixiangxishoujiandechuanghu——tashikaizhede。
……
三百飞走了。
是我的错。
14、
woyecengchangshiguoxunzhaosanbai。
wozaigezhongpingtaishangfabudaizhetongchengdingweidexunniaoqishi，xijizheneixiekandaosanbaiderennengshanxindafa，batahaijiwo。
suiranzheizhiniaodexinggehenyiyannanjin，shiertitie，shierbaozao，shierxianggediajing，shierxianggeyuanfu，shierxianggeerwubawandedaye……
danshiwohaishihenxiangnianta。
bijing，zailiugandelangchaoli，zaiheiandefangjianzhong，zaihunluandegaorehejianaozhong，zaigudandedaniansanshi，zailengqingdezhengyuechuyi……zaineixiebuzuweiwairendaodeshunjianli，shizheizhiniaopushanzhebingbuqiangjiandeyuyi，zaiwozuixuyaozhaogudeshihou，yizhimomoshouzaiwoshenbian。
sanbaiduiyuwodeyiyi，qishizaojiubuzhishiyizhiniaole。
zaozaiwomeiyouyishidaodeshihou，wojiuzaoyibatadangzuoyigezuiqinmidepengyouhejiaren，baorongzhetadechaonao，xiangshouzhetadepeiban。
tasuiranzhishiyizhiniao，danqueweiwotigonglechaohuyibandeqingxujiazhi。
jiuzheimeshuoba，ruguosanbaishigenandehua，woshuobudingzhendehuixihuanshangta。
……
keshi，suoyouxunzhaosanbaidechangshi，zuihoudouwuyiliwaidishichendahai。
wosuozaidechengshitaida，gaoloutaiduo，erwoyaoxunzhaodemubiaotaixiao，sanbaizhishiyizhiyoudianaojiaobieniudexuanfengyingwu，yongliangzhishoujiunengbatawanquanbaozailimian。
jiuzheiyang，wohewodexiaoniaoshisanle。
15、
zhuanyanjianchunqudonglai，youshixindeyinian。
wodenianlingzhengyiyizhongjiweiyinxiandesudu，qiaoqiaozengzhangzhe，yibuliushenjiufanguoleershiliu，daodaleershiqi。
ershiqisui，zaiwodelaojia，suanshiyigehenweimiaodenianjile。henduorendoushicongzheigenianjikaishishoudaolaizifumudecuihuntonggaode。
我的父母也不例外。
shuodaozheili，jiubudebukuajiangyixiawomaneiwusuobunengdeshentong：
congwolaojiadaodidou，yigongyiqianduokuailiangqiangongli，tajuranyouzheishouyantongtiandenengnai，sanzhuansiweidizhaoguanxi，tiwowuseleyigetongzaiyanjingdetongxiangnansheng。
duici，womajianzhideyidebunengzaideyi，sanlingwushendigaosuwo，bixudequhezheigenanshengjianmian，buzhunyangfengyinweifangrenjiagezi。
wobeitafandeshoubule，xiangzheqinmayanxuandexiangqinduixiangyinggaiyebuzhiyutailipu，bianhuluandianlegetou。
……jieguo，kandaozhenrenzhihou，wodashisuowang。
zuozaiwoduimiandenanshengbiwodasisui，xianniansanshiyisui，zaijiedaobangongzuo，gongzuowending，xingxiangdunshi——zhangdehendunshi，shengaoyimiliuwutizhongyibailiushijin，huoxianggetingchechangmenkoudeshidunzi。
cinanbujinzhangxiangdunshi，yantanjuzhihesanguanyepoweishoujiu，mouxiefayanzheshiyouxiegudian，lingrenbuzhiruhejiehuashihao。
biruxianzai，woganggangzuoxia，tajiudingzhechuangwaiduimiandapingshangdemingxing，luchuletongxinjishoudebiaoqing：“kankanxianzaidezheixiemingxing，zheimeshourenzhuipeng，queduishehuimeiyougongxian，zhenshidaofantiangang！”
wotinglezheihua，youxieganga——sheijiaxiangqinduixiangjianmiandiyijuhuajiushuozheige？
danchuyujiaoyang，wohaishishunzhetademuguangchaochuangwaikanqu。
neigezhengzaichuangwaidapingshangshenqinggechangdenanxing，sihushizuijinxinhongdeyigegeshou，mingzihenqiguai，qiahaohewodiuledeniaoyimoyiyang，doujiaoshensanbai。
jianwomeiyoufanying，neinandebiandiaozhuanlefangxiang，dingzhewoshoushanggangzuodemaoyanmeijia，yifubuzantongdeshense：“nizenmezuomeijiaya？yidiandoubutashi，youzheiqianhaiburuchuquchiyidun。”
“erqiea，wotingshuo，zuomeijiashihuidaozhibuyunde。nizheiyangdehua，womenjiehunyihouzenmeyaohaizi？”
我：……？
jieguozheiweirenxiongcuobawodewuyudangchenglechenmoderenke，fangfoshoudaoleguwuyiban，jixukankanertan：“shuoqihaizi，wozheigerenbijiaochuantong，juededuoziduofuzhendeshiyoudaolide，niyihouzhishaodeshengliangge，zhidaoernvshuangquan，couchengyigehaozi，zheiyangcaiyuanman。”
woyueting，meitouzhoudeyuejin。
ernvshuangquancougehaozi？nibazijidiaosihainengcouge**/zini！
kecinandeqingshangsihuzheshiyouxiekanyou，kanwoyizhibukaimai，jurandengbizishanglian，duizhewodeshoujipingbaokaishidafangjueci：
“zheishinihenichongwudehezhaoba？hai，yaowoshuo，renjiubuyinggaiyangzheixiechusheng。xianzaiderensanguandouniuqule，duifeiqinzoushoubiduizijideqindieqinmahaihao……”
“erqiezheixiedongxideshenshangduozanga，buzhidaoyouduoshaochongzi，duihaizibuhao。”
zheixia，takeshichechedididicaidaolewodenilinshang。
wodeshoujipingbaoshiwohesanbaidehezhao。
yinianyilai，sanbaizoudiuzheijianshiyizhishiwodexinbing，maizainaohaili，shibushidihaihuiyinyinzuotong。
eryanqianzheigehewojinyimianzhiyuandenanren，juranziyiweishidaokaishipipanwohesanbaizhijiandeganqing！
wonuhuozhongshao，zhangzuijiuyaokaishiniaoyuhuaxiang。
raner，jiuzaiwoyaokaimaideyishunjian，yizhiniaofeileguolai，zhizhidijiangluozaizhuozishang。
zheishiyizhixuanfeng，hunshendemaodouzhakaile，kanqilaixiangdangbaozao。
wokanzheyanqianfennudexiaoniao，xintiaoyishunjianjiujinle：“……sanbai？shinima？”
tingdaowoshuohua，yanqianxuanfengdedongzuorouyankejiandiyidun，jierjixujianlidijiaozhe，shenchujianjiandezhuazihehui，xiangwoduimiandexiangqinnanpuqu，zhuodetajingjiaolianlian。
“**，zheilizenmehuiyouniao？！”
“jinglini？woyaojiannimencantingdejingli！”
tawuzhetou，liangundaipadixiangyuanchupaoqu，beiyinglangbeibukan。
zhuozishangdexuanfengyingwuxiongjiujiuqiangangdichazhechibang，duizhexiangqinnanlikaidefangxiangjianshengdajiao，xiangshizaiyongniaoyupokoudama。
zheixiaozhangzhamaodeyangzi，huotuotuojiushisanbai。
“sanbai？”woshitanxingdijiaota，xiwangtanengjiwoyidianzhengxiangdefankui。
beiduizhewodexiaoniaohunshenyijiling，zhuantouyongtawuliuliudeyanjingchoulewoyiyan，bianyidianjiao，pulenglengdicongzhuobiandechuanghukoufeizoule。
15、
xiangqinjubuhuanersan，woyebeiqipadexiangqinduixiangexindegouqiang，genbenwuxindouliu。
chengzheditie，woyigerenduzihuilejia。
zouzailushang，womanxindoushifangcaineizhituranchuxiandexiaoniao。
zonghetadegezhongfanying，wojihukeyikending，neijiushiwodesanbai。danshi，buzhidaoweishenme，taquebukenrenwole。
三百生我的气了。
yishidaozheiyidianzhihou，wowubijusang。
……
husiluanxiangjian，wobuzhibujueyijingzoudaoledanyuanmenkou。
wotuikaidanyuanmen，tuozhechenzhongdejiaobushanglou。
danzhengdangwozhanzaijiamenkou，taochuyaochidasuankaimendeshihou，yidaogaodadeshenyingturancongloudaodeyinyingchushanlechulai，jiangwoyibaandaoqiangshang。
wodiyifanyingshiyudaolehuairen，beihedexiayishixiangyaojianjiao，danhaimeidengjianjiaolouchuhoulong，yizhikuandadeshouzhangjiufuleshanglai，bawodezuidudeyanyanshishi。
enzhewodeshiyigegaodadebaifaqingnian，loutijiandeguangxianbijiaohunan，wobunengwanquankanqingtadelian，zhishiyinyuejuedetajiwodeganjueyoudianyanshu。
louxiayouchekaiguo，xueliangdedadengbeiboliyifanshe，yingdaoleloudaoli，baneirendelianzhaoliangleyishun。
woturanrenchulaitashisheile。
——neijuranshigangcaixiangqinjushang，woheneigexiangqinnanliaotianshitidaodegexing，shensanbai。（wohaianangantanguotademingzihenqiguai，juranhewozhiqianyangdeyingwudemingziyimoyiyang）
tayigemingxing，weishenmehuizaizheili？
yanqiandeqingniankanshangquweiquyoushengqi，yanquanhonghongde，badabadakuangdiaoyanlei，zuanzhewodeshouwanbukensongkai，xiangshipawopaodiaoyiyang，zhuadesijin。
raner，tajiexialaishuodehuaquerangwodadieyanjing：
“shenke！nipingshenmeshiluanzhongqi？”
“mingmingzhiqianshinixianxiangwoqiudeou，nihaishuoshenmezuixihuanwo，yaoyibeiziduiwohao……jieguoquandoushipianrende！”
“你这个大骗子！”
“qianjiaoshuowohao，houjiaojiuquhebierenxiangqin！”
shuozheshuozhe，zheiqingniandeqingxurouyankejiandejidongleqilai。
wobeitahudeyileng，xinxiangzheipabushigeshenjingbing——wosuiranhaoseledian，danqishibenzhihaishihendanxiaode，conglaidoumeiyouxiangnanshengbiaoguobai，erxianzai，zheigenandejuranshuowoxiangtaqiuguoou？
“neige……xubuxuyaobangnibodayixiaqiyuandedianhua？”woweiwandikaikou，jinliangrangyuqibianderouhe，“wojuedeninkenengxuyaoyidian……xinlifangmiandeshudao？”
jieguoqingnianyitingwozheimeshuo，sihugengjiaweiqule：
“nibujinshiluanzhongqi，nijuranhaimawoxinliyouwenti？！”
“shenke，nizhenjueqing！”
shuozhe，tasakaileshou，dengzheyanjingxiangwotaoyaoyijiandongxi：“wosongnidepinlimaomaoni？nikuaijiwohaihuilai！neikeshiwozuipiaoliangdeyigenyumao！”
……shenme？yumao？songwode？
dianguanghuoshizhijian，woxintoushanguoleyigehuangmiudecaixiang：“ni，ni，ninandaoshiwoyangdeneizhiniao？shensanbai？”
qingnianditounushizhewo，yifuhenshengqideyangzi：“shia，jiushiwo！”
“keshinimingmingshizhiniaoa？”wozashe。
“shiniaoyouzenmeyang！nandaoduiniaojiubuyongfuzelema！？”