“我穿越了？”
kanzhemianqianmangliudepianchang，linbeiyilianmengbi。
林北。
rezhongyukandianyingdeputongrenyimei，qianyimiaohaizaiwangluoshangtucaoxiaoxianrouyanjibuxing，xiayimiaojiuchuanyuechengle《jiangshixiansheng》juzudegongzuorenyuan。
laoqinyayizhexintoudenuqi，kanzhemianqianzhuangshuaishuakudexiaoxianrou，xinliyouyiwanjumamaipibuzhidaodangjiangbudangjiang。
“陈华！”
“nizhidaoshenmeshidaoshima？”
“jinidejubenkanlemeiyou！”
daoyanlaoqinduizhemianqiandexiaoxianrouyouxiekezhiditixingdao。
tashizaishikanbuxiaqule，touzifangnaozilidoujinleshuilema？
zhaolexieshenmeyaomoguiguailaidangzhuyan！
laoqinganjuetasuibianzhaogegongzuorenyuanpaidedoubitahao。
mianqiandechenhuahaiyouxiebugaoxing。
tachenhuahaodaiyeshixingyuchuanmeipeiyangleliangnianbandelianxisheng，beilaoqinzaizheimeduorenmianqianshuolejijulianshangyouxieguabuzhu。
“woyanxiconglaibuxuyaojuben，neiwanyierbujiushiqiyigecankaozuoyongdema？”
“wodelaoshi，shangyidaxuejiaoshoujiushizheimejiaowode。”
“haohaohao！”laoqinqijishengxiao。
你什么水准？
碰瓷上艺大学教授？
zhendangzijitinglejijiekejiuyoulelaoxigushushiniandeyanjile？
“mingtiannibuyonglaile！”
chenhuayilianjinge，buganzhixindikanxianglaoqin。
“你说什么？”
“你还敢开劳资？”
“nizhibuzhidaoxingyuchuanmeijinitouzileduoshaoqian？”
bushuohaihao，shuodaozheililaoqinyixiazijiubeidianzhele。
“huiqutongzhinimenxingyuchuanmei，zheibitouziwobuyaole！”
“made，zhenshishenmerendouganpaodaolaozidetoushanglashile。”
“nixinbuxinwosuibianlagegongzuorenyuanlaidouyandebinihao？！”
zhenyiweizhenggejuzumeiletajiubunenghuole？
zailaoqinkanlai，chuleliangshendazaodejiaoseyiwai，qitadejiaose，yanyuandoushiketidaipin。
hekuangchenhuashiyande“jiushu”zhishiyigezhongyaopeijiao。
xiangdaozheili，laoqinniutoukanxiangleyipangkanxidelinbei。
“你！”
linbeichiguachidehaohaode，yichuanyueguolaijiuyouxinengkan，tahailehehedikanzhexini。
turanbeilaoqinzhizhe，linbeiyouzhongbuhaodeyugan。
“我？”
“ni！dui！jiuni！worendeni，lailejuzuyoujitianle，tingqinkuaide。”
“nishuoshuo，zheigechenhuayandezenmeyang？”
“shihuashishuojiuxing，laozizhaozheni！”
“呃……”
linbeiyishiyusai，jiaojinnaozhizhaodaolenaohailidejiyi，chenhuadeyanji……
只能说一言难尽。
chuleshuashuaiyiwai，qitadeyigaibuhui。
pianpiantashiyandehaishi“jiushu”！
yiweidegaowangzhongdemaoshangaorenlengshibeichenhuayanchenglezhihuishuashuaideyouninan。
可是……
他也不会演戏啊！
“chenhuabiaoyandebijiaoyougexinghua。”
陈华委婉的说道。
laoqinyiting，lele：“nixiaozihaitinggaoqingshang。”
“shuohaotinglejiaogexinghua，nantingyidianjiushizhihuiyanziji，jiaoseshiyidianeryebuhuiyan！”
“ni！pishangdaopaoqujilaozishishi！！”
linbeiwunai，tayezhishiyigeputongdezawurenyuan，“danshidaoyan，woyebuhuiyanxia！”
“dadanquchangshi！”daoyanlaoqinsihushikanchulelinbeidenanchu，bailebaishou。
“zaichahainengchaguochenhua？”
laoqinbuyoufenshuo，shangqianbaxiachenhuashenshangdedaopao。
linbeihaimeilaidejijujue，daopaojiuyijingbeilaoqintaoshangle。
“qushishikan，jiuzuofashideneiyiduan！”
mianduilaoqindefenfu，cishidelinbeiquechichimeiyoudongshen。
jiuzaitabeilaoqinpishangdaopaodeneiyike，linbeishunjianzhengzhule。
shenmideshengyinzainaohailixiangqi。
【yingdidaojuyihuode！】
【系统已激活！】
【道具影帝系统！】
【宿主：林北
yijihuodaoju：jiushudedaopao！】
【jiushudedaopao：chuandaihoukezanshihuodejiushusuohuidequanbumaoshanfengshuishu、maoshandaofa、maoshanliantishu、jiangyaochumozhishi……】
林北瞬间震惊了。
系统？！
“hailengzheganshenme？kuaiqu！”
laoqinkanzhelinbeidaidaidizhanzaiyuandi“buzhisuocuo”deyangzi，chushengcuicudao。
taduilinbeimeibaoshenmetaidaxiwang。
kuangqiejiuxiangtashuodeneiyang，danfankanyikanjuben，biejizijiqiangxingjiaxi，yandehainengbichenhuachabucheng？！
linbeikanleyiyanjuben，xiayishidejuqisangenxiang。
“renzuipasanzhangliangduan，xiangzuijiliangduanyizhang。”
“pianpianjiushaochengzheigeyangzi！”
“jiazhongchucixiang，kendingyourensang。”
……
zhenggejuzucishicikefangfoanxialezantingjian，zhangdalezuibakanzhelinbeidebiaoyan。
zhijianlinbeishuliandenadaohuaguogongjidebozi，qulejixue。
liangshouzuofa，numuyuanzheng！
quyilinuomiyuyoushoushizhi，zailazhushangyihui，zhijianhuoguangyishan，xiangzheshengzhejixuedewanrengqu。
xianchangdesuoyourendoujingdaile！
这是在变戏法吗？
bujizhongrenchuanxideshijian，linbeidebiaoyanhaizaijixu。
quheigouxuejiaruwanzhong，liangzhizaihuoyanzhongqingjiao，baguapanyikou，zhenxiezhixuedirumodoudangzhong！
chenhuazhangdalezuiba，yijuhuayeshuobuchulai。
tayiweilaoqinshuodesuibianzhaogegongzuorenyuanpaidebitahaoshixiaohua，meixiangdaoshilaizhende！
zaizhenjingdetongshi，xindidejidunanyiyizhideshengzhangqilai。
不是，哥们儿！
niquedingnibushizhiyedaoshi？！
buguangchenhuaruci，xianchangdesuoyourenkandaozheiyimuquandoukandaile！
laoqinzuilidiaozheyan，yandouyijingshaodaoyan**ledoumeifajue，zhidaoyanhuiranjin，diaoluozaishoushangtacai“aiyo”yishenghuiguoshenlai。
“haoxiaozi！nitemelaizhendea！”
laoqinbaoleyijucukou，xianshuguoduandedongzuo，zhuanyedejiqiao，zheisheikanlebudeshuoyiju***？！
haimeijiesandejuzuyefangfoyouanxialebofangjian，jingtanqilai。
“zheigemenershishenmemaoshanzhengzongchuanrenma？”
“juzuqingleyigezhendaoshi？！”
“nikanzheidongzuo，zheiyansudebiaoqing，jiuhaoxiangshizhendemaoshangaorenyiyang！”
“zhenshijuele！woxunsizheibujiushi‘jiushu’deqingchunbanma？！”
“nihaizhenbieshuo！zaitakaishizuofadeshihouwohaizhenyiweiwodejiaosecongjubenlilaidaoxianshile！”
bianjuyeshiyiliandibukesiyi。
tameinengxiangdaojuranzhendeyourennengbayigejiaoseyandaozheigefenershang！
erqiehaishiyigexugoudejiaose！