第二章贻笑大方
“nigangcaishuoshenme！？”
shenyanyishijianyouxiefaleng，huiweizhelinyishuodehua，suijicaimingbailinyihuayulimianbiaodadeshishenmeyisi。
mingbaiguolaizhihoudeshenyanrupofufabiaoyibanzhizhelinyinuhoudao：“linyi，nishibushifengle，juranganzheiyanggenwoshuohua，nishibushixiangsi！”
linyikanzhetadao：“woshuodeshishishi，nijingchangzoucuofangmen，woyinggaimeijicuoba？”
shuozhehaixunwensidekanxiangleshenyuhan，ranhouyouyitongyangdeshensekanzheshenyan。
shenyanlianseyuandu，tazenmedoumeiyouxiangdaolinyijuranganzheimegentashuohua，erqiehaishiyizheifutaidu，gengshibazheixiehuadangzhongshuochulai。
“linyi，nishibushixiangsi！”shenyanyuandudeshuodao，shengyindoubiandejianruiqilai。
linyitiaomeidao：“zheidaobushi，benlaidaoyemeiyoushenme。danshiyuhanzenmeshuoyeshiwodelaopo，nijuranrangtagennixue，wobudaying！”
“a，linyi，woshaleni，woyidingyaoshaleni！”
shenyanjianjiaozhechongleshanglai，duizhelinyizhangyawuzhua。
erzheishishenyuhanzhanzailelinyidemianqian，zudangleduifangdedongzuo。
talengzhelianduishenyanshuodao：“shenyan，jintianwaipodedashou，woxiangtalaorenjiakendingbuyuanyikandaoyourendaoluancaidui！”
shenyanyinchenzheyizhanglian，danshiquemeiyouzaixingdong，xianranyeshigujishenyuhanshuodehua。
jiandaoliangrenlikaidebeiying，shenyanlengxiaodao：“zheiyicijiufangguonimen，danshiwanshangyanhuideshihouyounimenhaokande，guolejinwankannimendaoshihouhaiyoushenmelianmianzaijiangchenglizu！”
anzhaoshenyanxianglai，jinwanzhihou，jiangchengyidameinvshenyuhanbeipogaijia，benjiushifeiwudelinyibeitichushenjia，chengweisangjiazhiquan。
xiangdaozheixie，shenyandeneixinjiuchangkuaileqilai，feichangqidaijinwandedaolai。
shenyuhanlazhelinyilikai，laidaocheshangzhihoukanzhelinyiyiyubufa。
linyijiandaotadeyanshenruoyousuogan，zheijushentidezhurenhaizhenshitairuole，juranzaiwaimianrangyigenvrenzheibanbaohu。
tazhidaoshenyuhanweihutabushiyinweixihuan，ershiyinweifuqizhijiandezeren，buguanzaizenmeyangduifangdoubuhuirenyouwairenqifuzijidelaogong，neipazhishimingyishangde。
chezixingshidaoxiaoqumenkou，shenyuhanzuozaifujiashimianwubiaoqingdao：“nixiachehuijiaquba，jinwanshangbuyaolumian！”
“buchuxian？nandaojinwanshangbuyongwobangmangma！”linyiweiweizhoumei。
shenyuhanmeiyouzaiduoshuoshenme，suirantayehenxianglinyibangmang，zhishaonengshoudezhuta，danshilinyiyouneigebenshima？
ruguobushipawairenshuoxianhuadehua，zuotianwanshanglinyijiuyijingbeidasile，nalihainengxiangxianzaizheiyang。
linyixialeche，kanzheshenyuhanjiangchezikaizou，zhouqidemeitoushuzhankailai，zuijiaogoulechuyimohudu。
“youyisi，haizhendeshitingxiangtade，buguanzenyangquehaizheimejianqiangmianduiyiqie！”
linyizhidaoshenyuhanzheisuanshizaibaohuta，yinweiyaoshilinyichuxiandehua，daoshihoupashilinyihuiluodegenzuotianyiyangdexiachang。
danzheixiedoushijianlizaizuotian，erjintianyiqiedoubuyiyangle。
linyizuijiaogoule，kantazheiyang，xianranshimeidasuanrangshenyuhanyigerenmianduijinwanshangjiangyaofashengdeqingkuang。
linyisisuoleyixia，zuihoukaishidongshouqilai。
zijixianzaideqingkuangbuyunxutanachuduomejingtiandongdidebaowu，danshiduiyutazheigeyuangudijunlaishuo，jibianshiyikuaiwanshi，yenengrangtabianchengyijianguibao。
linyizhaolaiyibaxiaodaoyongxiweidelinglikaishidiaoke，anzhaojiyizhongdeyizhongjulingzhenkaishizaiheisedewanshishangdiaozhuo，meiyidaodouyunhanlelinyidelinglihedaoyun。
jinguanzhishiyibaxiaodao，bingmeiyouzhuanyedegongju，danshilinyibingbuzaihuzheixie，zaitashouli，jibianshiyibaxiaodaodounengbizhuanyedegongjuhaiguanyong。
zhishitaxianzaideqingkuangyouxian，shentishousunhaiweiwanquanhuifubushuo，guangshitazheiyishizhongshengjiuchuxianlewenti。
zaohualunhuigongzhongjiuhaishiyoujixiande，bukenengrangtameiyishidoudounenggoudaizhewanzhengdegenjizhongsheng，xianzaizhongshengdaozheiyangyijuyisidequtishang，erfeishicongtaierkaishi，jiuyinggaizhidaoqingkuangdeyanzhongxing。
yiduanshijianzhihou，jiushilinyidoubujinliansefabai。
“zheiyishiyinggaijiushijixianle，burandehuazenmehuilianzhizuoyikejulingzhudouzheimejianxin！”
qingkuangsuiranyanzhong，danshilinyizuijiaoyijiudaizhezhaopaidexiaorong，yongyuandoushineimezixin，neimedewanshibugong。
“yo，zheibushi‘zhunzhaofuren’ma？zenmejinwanshangzhiyouniyigerenchuxian，gaibuhuishinidefeiwulaogongbuganlaileba！”
yewandeshihou，shenyuhanganglaidaoshenjiashouyanxianchang，yidaojiansuandeshengyinjiuchuanruleerzhong。
shenyuhananziyaoya，danquemeiyouzuochuhuiying，buxianggenshenyanzheizhongrenguoduoqianche。
zhibuguotasuiranbuxianggaoshi，danshibudaibiaoshenyanhuifangguota。
shenyanzhuizheshenyuhan，kandaotadailaideliwuzhihou，dunshidashengdechaoxiaoleqilai：“aiyowei，zheibushishanggeyuewodidimaijibierendeyupeima？nijurannazhezheijianliwulaidangshouli，zheishizaimaitaisheini！”
tashuohuadeshengyinhenda，sihupabierentingbudaoyiban。
guoran，suizhetadehuayushengxiangqi，yanhuichangzhongderendouwangleguolai，dezhiqingkuangzhihou，yigegekanzheshenyuhandeyanshendoudaiyouguguaizhise。
shenyanjiandaozhihoudeyiqilai，tiaoxindeduishenyuhanshuodao：“zenme，nandaowoshuodebuduijingma？nibawodidimaichuqudedongxinalaidangshouli，zheibushizaimaitainainaima！”
“shenyannishuogoulemeiyou！”
shenyuhanliansebinglengdekanzheta：“zheishishenjiajunmaichuqude，danqueshinainaixihuandedongxi，songjishenjiajunzhihoutabuzhidaozhenxi，wotinainaimaihuilaiyoushenmecuo？”
“huashizheiyangshuomeicuo，danshidouyijingchushoulededongxi，ninahuilaijiusuanle，xianzaijuranhaidangzuoshouli，zheishuochuqupashidoubuhaoyisi！”shenyanfanbo。
shenyuhanlengxiaoyishengdao：“nainaixihuandedongxi，yinweitengaishenjiajuncaisongjita，jieguoshenjiajunbuzhidaozhenxi，nandaohaibuzhunwoxintengnainaibucheng。haishinirenweinainaidexihaohaimeiyouwuzhigengyoujiazhi！”
“你......”
shenyanbuzhidaogaizenmehuida，zhidaozijizaizheishangmianzhaobuleshi，yushijiuzhuanyihuatichaoxiaodao：“zheigexianbushuo，wodaoshixiangyaozhidaolinyiqunalile，nanbuchengzhendeshihaipabuganlailebucheng。”
shuodaozheilitaeleyisheng，huangrandao：“shia，bijingzuotianwanshangdouyijingneimediurenle，jinwanqueshishimeilianjianrenle，bijingrendouyaoyizhanglianbushi！”
“jiushia，biaojie，bushiwoshuoni，dangniannizenmejiuxiangbutongyaotingyeyedehua，jiajilinyineiyangyigefeiwuni！”
zheishiyoushiyidaoshengyinchuanlai，shenjiajunlaidaoxianchanggenshenyanzhanzaiyiqifengcidekanzheshenyuhan。
suijixianchangyouchuxianjiren，doushishenjiadeneiburenyuan，yigegekanzheshenyuhanyanshenchongmanchaofeng。
zheifumoyang，xianranshimeiyoubatadangzuozijiren。
shenyuhanqideshentiqingzhan，tajiuzhidaojintianwanshangbuhuiyouhaoshifasheng，haihaomeiyouranglinyiguolai，yaoburansheizhidaohaihuifashengshenmeshi。
“sheishuowobuganlaide！”
jiuzaizheigeshihouyidaoshengyinchuxian，lianseyouxiecangbaidelinyilaidaolexianchang。
zhibuguogenqitayigegexizhuangpigederenbiqilai，yishenlianjiafushidelinyixiandegewaihansuan，tongshiyeyichangdetuwu。
kandaotachuxian，shenyuhanlimajile，duizhelaidaotashenbiandelinyiyaoyadishengdao：“sheirangnilaide，wobushirangnidaizaijialimianma！”
linyizuijiaogoule，kanletayiyandao：“nainaiguoshou，wodangranshilaiheshoude！”
shenyanzheigeshihoujiugaoxingle，yinweilinyilaile，tamenzhongyuzhaodaoyigetupokou，rangshenyuhanmeiyoubanfafanbodetupokou。
“nilaiheshoudangranmeiwenti，buguoniyaozhidaozheigedifangbushishenmerendounenglaide，nijuedeniyouzigema！”
shenyankaishijiangmaotouduizhunlinyi，jianjiexingdegongjishenyuhan，rangshenyuhangenzhediurenxianyan。
ranerlinyibujuedeyoushenmediurende，gouledezuijiaoxiandeyouxieqingtiao，pingjingdeshuodao：“woyoumeiyouzigebushininengjuedingde，nanbuchengwoyouzigenihaihuilaiyingjiewobucheng！”
“yingjieni？nipabushizaizuomeng，xiangduoleshiba！”shenyanqijibaihuaideshuodao。
tabuxiangjiuchanneimeduo，zhijiejiangmaotouduizhunlinyi。
jiandaotashoulinazhedeyigexiaomuhe，yiyanbiankanchuzheigenbenjiushiputongmutouzhizuode，xiangbilimianyiyangbukenengshishenmehaodongxi。
“nishuonishilaiheshoude，neinibanideliwunachulairangdajiakaikaiyanba，kankannidoudailaileshenmepolan！”
linyiyagenjiubudalita，zijianzhaoxianzaideqingkuangjingxinzhizuochulaidedongxi，zenmekenengshizheixierenxiangkanjiunengkande。
他们，还不够格！
jiandaolinyimeiyouxingdong，shenjiajunshangqianyibaqiangguolelinyishoulidemuhe，ranglinyimeitouyizhou。
yaobushixianzaishentiyouqingkuang，nalirongdeleshenjiajunzheimefangsi。
“zheishishenme，yikuaiposhitou？nijurannazhezheiyangyikuaipolanlaidaozheili，buxiandiurenma！”shenjiajundakaihezijiandaolimiandejulingzhuzhihou，dunshijiujiaoleqilai。
zhongrenkandaotashoulinazhedeneikeheibuliuqiudeshitou，yigegemianseyichangguaiyi。
zhiqianshenyuhansongdedongxihaihaoshuo，zhishaoshilaofurenxihuande，keshixianzailinyizheige......
zhongrenzhiyoushixiaoyaotou，lianpingjiadoubuxiangzuochule，yinweizheizenmekandoushiyikuaihebiandeposhitou。
“nimenbiezheiyangshuo，bijinglinyijialidetiaojiandajiayedouqingchu，yuhanyigeyueyebujiandehuijitaduoshaoqian，nengmaideqiliwujiusuanshibucuole！”shenyanzheigeshihouyouzuoyaodeshuodao。
shenyuhanliansefaqing，zhenhenbudejilinyiyibazhang，danshizaiwairenmianqiantazhinengrenzhu，zhishaozaiwaitayaogenlinyizhanzaiyibian。
linyipieleshenyanyiyan，dandingziruodeshuodao：“wozheikejingxindiaokedepozhuziwanjinnanxun，nimenfaxianbulejiazhizhinengguainimenzijimeijianshi！”
“sha？wanjinnanxun，linyinizhendeshizuomengba！”
“hahaha，xiaosiwole。haiwanjinnanxunni，wojiniyibaikuai，nazhequditanmaiyijianliwuhuilaiyebinixianzaizheigehaoa！”
“haiwanjinnanxunni，wokannishihuozaimengliba！”