第1章烫手的山芋
jinghaishi，shangwushidian，zhengshiyitianzhonggongzuozuiweifanmangdeshihou。
jinghaishirenminyiyuancikeqifenjinzhangbuyi，yishenghehushibuduanchuansuo，jiaobucongcong。
huiyishinei，qifenyansu，zhongrenzhengjiliedetaolunruheyingduiyigeteshubinghuan，meigerenlianshangdouxiezheningzhong。
“啊！散会了吗？”
turan，yigeshengyinxiangchelehuiyishi。
suoyourendemuguangdoutouxiangshengyindefayuanchu，zhanzhedexiaolinmimangdekanzhezhongren，zuijiaohaicanliuzhegangshuizheshiliukoushuidehenji。
neixiexingzailehuodemuguangrangxiaolinzhidaozijitonglouzile。
keshiyebunengguaitaa，tashuidezhengxiang，turanbeirentileyijiao，tabennengdeyiweizheiwuliaodehuiyizhongyusanchangle。
sheitmzaibeihousuanjita！
xiaolinceguotoukanlekanzuoyouliangbianderen，yigeshigaolengdeyuanhuasuqing，yigeshipingchangjiuhetaguanxibudahaodebumentongshiliaowenhan。
zheizhongquedeshikendingzhiyouliaowenhancainengzuodechulai。
xiaolinhenhendedengleliaowenhanyiyan，hailaibujibaofujiju，zuozaishouweidezhurenxuzhangjianbuyuedemuguangsaoxiangxiaolin。
“xiaolin，nilaiyiyuanyeyijingsannianle，zheiciwangxiudeshoushujiuyounilaizhudaoba。”xuzhangjianliansenankan，yuqiqueshifenpingjing，sihusongleyikouqi。
“xiaoyishenglaizhudaoshijihaode，wozantong！”
“woyetongyi，xiaoyishengzheisannianmeiyouchurenhechacuo，rangtalaizhudaoshizaishizaiheshibuguoderenxuanle！”
“……”
xiaolintingzhezheiyijuyijudekuazan，xinliquerutongchilehuanglianyiban。
sannianlaimeiyouchuchacuo，neishiyinweitagenbenjiumeiyouchuchacuodejihui，taconglaimeiyouzhudaoguo。
xiaolincaiburenweizheixierenturanliangxinfaxianyuanyijitayigejihui，gangcaihuiyishangtashishuizhele，keyitingwangxiuzheimingzitajiumingbaile。
wangxiuzheimingzijiandan，renkebujiandan。
yijingbeizhenduannaoxueguanliu，yaponaoshenjing，shoushudenandujianzhijiushiqixing，yejiushizhiyudejihuizhiyouwanfenzhiyi。
“zhuren，worenweibutuo，xiaolinmeiyoudanduzuoguoshoushu，genghekuangzheicibingqingfuza。”
yigeqinglengdeshengyinxiangqi，xiaolinganjidekanzheyipangdesuqing。
zhongrendoujiangtawanghuokengtui，zheidameinvjintianjingranjitashuohua，nandaoshiyinweitashuai？
suiranbuyuanchengrenzijiyishushuipingyouxian，danshiciketayijiushipinmingdediantou。
xuzhangjianmeitouweicu，lengzhelianshuodao，“suyisheng，womenyeyaojitayigejihuima，bunengmaimeilerencaishibushi。worenweizheijiushiyigehenhaodejihuima。”
一本正经的胡说！
gengtongkudeshi，zheixiedaomaoanrandezhuzhiyisheng，zhuanjiayishengdoumangbudiedediantou。
同意个P！
xiaolinsuanshikantoulezheixieren。
“wohetayiqizhudao！”suqingceguotouduiyipangdexiaolinshuozhe。
yuqiyijiulengqing，shenqingaoman，danzaicikedexiaolinyanliqueneimeqinqie。ruobushizhidaozheishiyigegaolengnvshen，takendingpushangquxiongbaokuangqinle。
hexiaolindejidongbutong，qitarentingdaozhihoudougenkanwaixingrenyiyangkanzhesuqing。
neifeitoudaerdezhurenxuzhangjiangengshirenbuzhuyansudeshuodao，“suyisheng，ninandaobuweizijideqiantukaolvma？”
“zhuren，nizheihuashishenmeyisi，duiwoshuoshiyigehaojihui，duisuyishengqueshuorangtakaolvtadeqiantu？zheimeshuonijiwowalegekeng，kandaosuyishengyetiaojinlaijiuzhuanghaoren？”
shidaoruci，xiaolinyesihaobukeqile。
fanzhengjiletazheimeyige“dahaodejihui”，tadeweilaiyeshiyipianheian。benlaijiuduixuzhangjiankanbushunyan，xianzaifanershisihaodoubujidanle。
xuzhangjiannule，tashenchushouzhizhexiaolinzhandoudeshuozhe，“nizheihuashishenmeyisi？”
“zimianshangdeyisi，zhuren，nandaonideyuwenchadaowufalijiezheimeqianxiandejuzi？”xiaolinfanwen。
“zheijiushinidetaiduma？”xuzhangjianzhidaozijidoubuguoxiaolin，limabaichuyifulingdaodejiashiheqichanglai。
yaoshipingchanghainenggouhudezhuxiaolin，cikequeyidianxiaoguodoumeiyou。
“zhuren，woyaohuiquyanjiuhuanzhedeqingkuangle，budaraonimenkaihuile，zaijian！”
huayishuowan，yebudengxuzhangjiandaying，xiaolinyijingdayaodabaidezouchubangongshi。
ruguoshipingshixiaolinyebuhuiyouzheiyangdejudong，danshijintiantadexinqingbushuang。
不爽到了极点！
zuotiantabuguochaocaiduofangledianyan，tanvpengyoulimeijiuhetanao。
nvren，chongguanle，yangdiaole！
tayigedananrenhuichaocaijiubucuolehaoma？tajingranhaiganchao，bujidianyansekankanshibuxingle。
xiaolinxiangyemeixiangshuaimenerchu，dadianhuajigemenqudapaidangjiaoleyixiangjiu。
dabanyehuidaozufang，yuanbenyiweilimeikendingzhaotazhaofengle，kantahuilaibidingshixiongbaozhetakukutitiderencuo。
danshitaxiangcuole，limeibujianle。
bujinrenbujianle，jiulianxinglidoubujianle。
dangran，tayeliuleyixiedongxijixiaolin。
birushoulineifengfenshouxin。
xinshangzhiyoujiandandejigezi，shenzhilianyigefenshoudeliyoudoumeiyou。
xiaolinshoulinazheneifengxinluomodezouchuyiyuan。
xianzai，tazhiyouyigexiangfa，huiqushuiyijue，huoxuyiqiedouzhishizuomengni？
shounazheneifengfenshouxinyaohuangzhewangqianzou，naozilidoushihelimeizaiyiqideshiqing。
心口很痛！
xiaolinquantoujinwo，yinweiyongliguoduzhiguanjiefabai。
daxuesinian，chulaigongzuosannian，tayiweitamenshizuiweilejieduifangde，chizaoyouyitianhuiburuhunyindediantang。
quebucengxiangshangdikailegexiaocha，tazoule。
huiyihuiyixiuchuletadedongxibudaizouyipianyuncai。
还**的潇洒啊！
xiaolinshouyisong，xiangyaoshenshouqudoulitaoshouji，ganghaibeisisizhuaizaishoulidefenshouxinpiaoluozaikongzhong。
风一吹，往前飘去。
xiaolinerhuabushuowangqianzhuiqu，wulunruhezheikeshilimeiliujitazuihoudedongxi。
tahaiyaonazhetaquzhiwenlimeiliyou。
fenshouxinzaiqianmianpiaozhe，xiaolinzaihoumianpaozhezhuizhe。
吱……
cierdechacheshengxiangqi，xiaolinfanranxingwu，kandaodeshiyingmianerlaidechezi。
tadenaoziyipiankongbai，shoujiaosihurutongyouqianjinzhizhong，rangtameibanfanuodongbanbu。
砰！
zaipangrendejinghushengzhong，tazhijuedezijideshentipiaoqilaile，suihouquanshenrutongbeinianyayibandetong，zairanhoubianmeiyouzhijuele。
buzhidaoguoleduojiu，xiaolinzheicaihuanhuanzhengkaiyanjing。
ciyandeguangrangtajuedeyouxiebushiying，touyouxieyun，yanjingyeyinweijiushuideguanxieryouxiemohu。
“xingle？”hushilengmorujixiebandeshengyinchuanlai。
“jiushuozheisunzishizhuangde，tamadequanshenjianchadouzuole，meiyidianwentizenmekenenghunmi，zheishipengci，xiangewoqian。”
haiweidengxiaolinfanyingguolaijiutingdaozheiyangfenkaideshengyin，taitoukanzheyanqiandenanren。
chuanzhemingpaixizhuang，bancuntou，hunshenshangxiamanshijianghuwei。
xiaolinweiweicumei，takebujidezijirenshizheimegeren。
“kanshenmekan，laozijintianyidingshichumenmeikanhuangli，pengdaonizheimegezhaoside！”tabuyiburaodeshuozhe。
zheishi，chuanzhezhifudejingchaguolai，xiaolinzheicaixiangqi，tachuchehuole。
yanqianzheirenjiaoyangjiang，yejiushizhuangtaderen。
草！
xianzaizhuangrendedouzheimexiaozhanglema？
benjiuxinqingbuhaodexiaolinduizheyangjiangyaozheyahouzhe，“nizenmeshuohuade，jigeyisi，zhuanglewohaiyoulileshibushi？yaobushikanwomeishijuebigennimeiwan。”
yangjianglengxiaoleyixia，“wodaoshixiangkankannizenmegenwomeiwan，nixianzaimeishileshiba，laoziyoushi！”
shuozhe，yangjiangzhuanerduizheyipangdejingchashuodao，“jingchatongzhi，wokeshilianghaoshimin，niyekandaole，zheirenjiuyizhuanyepengcide，wochexianzaikeshibeizhuanghuaile，tadepei！”
xiaolinjuedezhenzhengmeikanhuanglichumendeshita！
benlaidasuanjiuzheiyangsuanle，tingdaozheihuapiqiyixiajiushanglaile，“wokanbujinnichehuaile，ninaoziyehuaile，zhuanglerenhaixiangyaoweixiufei，**zheicaishipengciba。”
yangjianglengyankanzheta，angzhetou，yifuxiaozhangdeyangzi。
sihaobuzaihujingchazaichang，zhizhexiaolindebizi，“nizaishuoyijushishi，xinbuxinwofeileni，yebudatingwoyangjiangshishei。”
“goule，xinbuxinjiangnimenliangdoudaizou。”jingchayishenglihedaduanliangrendezhengchao。
zheixialiangrencaidouanjingxialai。
yangjiangkanlekanjingcha，yaozheya，zhizhexiaolinrengxiayiju，“jiwodengzhe。”
“dengzheni，panishisunzi。”xiaolinchongzheyangjiangdebeiyingbusixindehouzhe。
bisangmenda，sheipasheia，dahuasheibuhuishuo。
“xiaoyisheng，niyoumeiyoushenmebushufu？”hushilengdandexunwenzhe。
xiaolinmeitouweicu，zheibuyinggaia，tasuiranmeiyouzhuguodao，danshizheirenyuanguanxihaishitinghaode。
tazixidejianchaleyixia，dongledongshoujiao，“chuleyouxietouyunzhiwaimeiyouqitadebuduijing。”
“meiyoubuduijingjiuganjinqubangsuyishengba，suyishengdouyaobeinihaisile！”xiaohushidunangzhe。
苏清！手术！
xiaolinlimakanleyiyanshoubiao，kandaoshangmiandeshijianshiyegubushangchuanxie，wenlexiaohushishoushudedidian，touyebuhuikuaisudepaolechuqu。