第1章 怼儿子怼老公怼婆婆

guchendongyuanshiyiminghuiji,huaiyunneinianchadianliuchan,danweibenshenjiujidanyunqinvzhiyuan,zaijiashangdiyitaijingui,yushibiancizhizaijiayangtai。

yushijinguideerzigaoshaochenbianchushengle,gaoshaochenjianglindeneitian,guchendongjuedechiduoshaokudouzhide,fashiyaohaohaopeiyangerzi。taneimecongming,haiyoulaogongshilvshi,zenmedounengpeiyanggeyouxiudeerzichulaiba?zaijiashangyingzaiqipaoxianshang,budezaozaoshijiao?

zheiyangyilai,guchendongjiumeidasuanhuizhichangle,peiyangerzishiyixiangweidagongcheng,nanzhuwainvzhunei,gonglaoyouwodeyibanyeyounideyiban,gaoxuchurushishuo。gaomaoyidai,guchendongzheigequanzhimamadebiaoqiansuanshidingxialaile。

quanzhi“jiwa”,shouxiangumamajiubutongyi,nvrenzenmenengmeiyougongzuoni?nanengquanzhiwangnanrendeni?gumamajiushiyinweibuqufuyudananzizhuyizhixia,zheicaililehun,neishiguchendonggangxiaoxuebiye,weicitahensimamale。munvliangguanxiyizhilaibulengbure,yushiguchendongrangtabieguanta,dangchuninbuyeshiyiyiguxinglihunma?neininjiubieguanwo。

haiyouyigerenbutaizanchengde,jiushiguchendongdeguimixieyanfei。xieyanfeibiguchendongzaoyinianshenghaizi,tajuedehaishibunengbagongzuodiudiao,yushitabahaizisonghuilelaojiayouyeyenainaidai,tajianyiguchendongyezheiyang。zheiduoshaoyoudiankanbuqiquanzhizhufu,guchendongshizheiyangxiangde,liangrenhaiyidunaodeyoudianbuyukuai。

danlingyiweiguimimominlitingguchendong,yinweitayedasuanquanzhi“jiwa”,guchendongdeerzichushengdeshihoutahuaiyunbageyue,yijingzaozaodasuanquanzhi“jiwa”le。

tamensanrenshidaxuetongxue,biyehouyiqiliuzailewendeshi,lianai、jiehun、shengzi,doushiqianhoujiaodeshi。tamenyesuanshizaizheigechengshizhaxialegen,suoyixieyanfeijiuxiangbazijidemingyunlaolaozhangwozaizijishouli,yougongzuojiunengyou“ziji”。guchendongzerenwei“jungongzhangyounideyibanyeyouwodeyiban”,fuqiliangbujiudehehuxianghezuoma,nanengjingxiangzheziji?ermominshichuncuilaogongyangdeqijia,tabuxiangneimelei,nvrenhuaiyunqueshilei,mominzaihuaiyunqijianchanshengzheiyangdexiangfayewukehoufei。zuizhongyaodeshixianzaihaizijiaoyuneimezhongyao,buzaozaozuojihuanaxing?suoyiguchendonghemominjiuzaiyitiaozhanxianshangle。

“jiwa”budezaozaozhuaqi?haimeihuizoulujiudezhuale,zheijiuyouyinlaipoxidazhan,yiqianwomendoumeizenmeguangaoxuchu,neitaxianzaibuyeshijingyinglvshile?wodehaiziwolaiguan!guchendongkebudangshouqixiaoxifu。

suishuogongpomeiheguchendongtamenyiqizhu,danzheigewentishigen“ci”,zheimeduonianlaimeishao“dazhan”。

zhuanyangaoshaochenjiusuile,xiaoxiaonianjidaishangleyanjing,zheigexiaogaoguidehen,zidadongshiqijiugenguchendongduizhegan。

“nikannidoubawobichugexiaoyanjinglaile……”

“wojiuzhibashifen,nifeidebiwoyibaifen……”

“duibuqiwoyoucuo……wobushitiancai……wodeqinmanijiuraolewoba……”

changchangbaguchendongbideyizhenshizihou。

“woduibuqinihaoba?”

xionghaizibuhaodai,zaijiasannianzhunnengrangyigetimiannvxingbiancheng“shizihou”,hekuangzheizaijiajiunianni?

guchendongshizhenzhuakuang,daizhegaoxuchujiufalaosao。

“haoleia,laogong……”

“shinilaogonghaolei……”

gaoxuchuhedezuixunxundihuilai,shitianyouwutianshizuiguizhuangtaihuijiade,huantadehuashuowoyangjiarongyima?

“nitiantianzaijialeishenmelei?huoeryouayigan,nijiujiesongyixiahaizinengyouduolei?”

“haizishiyitianbengshanglaijiusuide?”

“bushiyoubaomudema?”

“wojitafudaobulei?”

“neishipeixunbandegonglao……”

“gaoxuchu!”guchendongbatadewaitaoyishuai,naole,zhuanshenhuifangqu。

“aiyanizheigeren……”gaoxuchujiusuanzuiyezhidaolaoponaole,tazhuishangqu。

“piqizenmeneimeda?”

“wopiqida?dui!wopiqida,nishikankantiantiandaixionghaizipiqidabuda?”

“耐心一点嘛……”

“wobugounaixin?yahuanyiyangsihounimenyeliang……”

“zenmeyoucheshangwole?wonayoudezuinile?”

“nidangzheishilvguanbushijia,nidangfuqishiyingyeshifuqi……”

“qiaonishuode……bushishuohaolenizhuneiwozhuwaima?zhuwaibudoudezheiyangma?woyaoshitiantianzaijianijiuyouhuixianqiwowonangle……biebuzhizu……”

“shi!wobuzhizu,wojirendangyahuanbuzhizu……”

“hujiaomanchanbushi?dongdonga,nikankannixianzai……jiuyimajiepofu……”

“gaoxuchu!”guchendongnumudengta。

高旭初举手投降。

“hao……gunainaiwocuole……jiwonongbeifengmishuihaoma?”

guchendongbulita,zhuanshenjinwu“peng”yishengzhongzhongbamenguanshang。

“laopo……”gaoxuchutanqiangshang。

neibianfangmenkaile,gaoshaochenrouzheyanjingchulai。

“吵死了……”

gaoxuchuqishenqujiutaerduo。

“yourenimashengqileshibushi?”

“wojintianceyanshuxuekaolebashifen。”gaoshaochentingyoulide。

“wojiuzhinengkaobashifenle,feibiwokaoyibaifen……”

“bashifena?”gaoxuchudashouroutadeliandan。

“换我也生气……”

“keshinainaishuole,babaxiaoshihouyemeikaoyibaifen,xianzaibuzhaoyangshidalvshi?”

“xianzainishiwoerzi!”guchendongchulaile,manliannurong。

“gaoxuchu,nihaohaogennimashuoqingchu,buyaozaijigaoshaochenguanshuneitaodushuwuyonglun……”

“zenmejiudushuwuyonglunleni?womameiyouzheiyanga,zhishiyaoqiuzankuailejiaoyuma……”gaoxuchuzhanqishendao。

“rangniyouzhedian……gaoshaochendaiyanjingzheishiniyouzeren……”

“he!daoshiwodezerenle?shisheishuoyaohaohaojiaoyuhaizide?”

“shiyaohaohaojiaoyuhaizi,danmeirangnibatayanjingjinonghuaile……”

gaoshaochenjinshiyousanguang,zheishiergaomamabaquanzetuidaoguchendongshenshang,jianyihuitaoyihui。

“jinshiyouyichuan!nijinshiwojinshi,gaoshaochenjinshihenzhengchang……zaishuole,bushikeyizuojiaozhengshoushuma?niwodouzuole,youshenmewentima?”

“nizheishituixiezeren,wodouhouhuizuozheigeshoushule,fengxianshiqingguangyan!nijiubuweihaizixiangxiang……”

“hao,woyoucuo,shiwoduibuqinimenyelianghaoba?”guchendongzhuanshenhuiquyou“peng”yishengbamenguanshang。

“mulaohu……shizihou……”gaoshaochenzaineilitushe。

“nixiaozi……”gaoxuchuyizhangqingpaierzinaohou。

“shaorenimashengqi,haohaokaobuxingma?”

高少辰好委屈。

“baba,wochinaideliqidouyongshangle……”

gaoshaochenrenxiaojilinggui,congwusuiqijiuhuihebamadingzuile,zhangzheyouyeyenainaichengyao,youzhidaozijishidushengzi,quanjiabixuchongta,jiuyuefafangsi。xiezuoyebushitoukanmanhuajiushiwanwanju,zaiyaomejiushiheshuipinpinshangcesuo,weishangcesuozheishiguchendonghaodunzouta。jieguogaoshaochenxiangnainaigaozhuang,nainaidiertianjiushaguolaile,neiyisishiwobuganshenifudaoerzigongke,dandawosunzijiubuxing。rucixunhuan,guchendongnengbuleima?

gaoshaochensuirantaoqi,danzuitiannatameibanfa。erqiexuexiyezhenmeiyoudaoshude,zaibanshangjiuzhongdengba,huannainaidehuashuo,jiuyiputongrenjiahaizi,renmingba。yihuishuozijierzishijingying,yihuishuozijisunzishiputonghaizi,guchendongshifulezheige“jingfen”nainai。

zheiyihuiguchendongshiqidale,diertianyizaoqilaijiukailiu,zaocanbuzuoyebusongerziqushangxue,jiuranggaoxuchushishidaierzishibushineimerongyi,zheixienianlaigaoxuchuzhibaerzidangwanju,huijialaidoudouwanwan,dangranqingsongle,erzidangrankeaile。

“nizheishihaodele……”

mominbianshaiyifubianheguchendongshuo。

“popozhishiouerlaiyitang,wozheijiuzhuzaizheierle,gengfanzao……”

yishuoqilaipopodeshi,mominyoukaishixutao。mominzheibianhepopozhuyiwuyanxia,shiqingjiuduoqilaile,zidamominnverchusheng,dashixiaoshimeishaopengzhuang,fanzhengmeiciguchendongyilai,doubianchengmominde“chuqitong”。

mominyuanlaidezhangtoufajianle,qierduanfayoudianluan,liansefahuang,zheihaishiwangrineigeyujiema?

guchendongzaiwangwuneihuangu,paobujishangguazhewazi、xiaohaibeixinluanqibazaode。tazaiyemeiyouxinqingzuoxiaqule,zhaolegejiekoukuaisulikai。

chudelaitazhangtuyikouqi。

sanshiwule,zhuanyantamendousanshiwule,douhuanglianpole。

xieyanfeiyuanlaishijujie,houlaikaolegexinlizixunshizheng,xianzaiyijiaxinlizixunjigoudangxinlizixunshi,tingshuoyicizixunxialaishoufeihaojibaini。

xujiumeijianxieyanfeile,guchendongkaichequzhaota。

yaojianxieyanfeikeburongyi,deyuyue。zhidaoshiguchendong,xieyanfeirangtazaihuiyishilidengtayiqichizhongfan。

guchendongzuozaihuiyishili,sicengxiangshideganjue,tayouduojiumeiyoutajinzhichanghuanjingle?yiqiefangfogeshi。

guchendongzaikankanzijideyifu,talimapaoqubolichuangneilizhao。limianderenqijianlihuatou,haihaotashangzhouxinzuodezaoxing,shenshangyifuyehaihao,danliansebutaihao,tameiyouhuazhuang,zhenggerenqisebutaihao。gongzuoderenhebugongzuoderenqubieshitianshanghedixia。

黄脸婆!

guchendongnaoneiyishan,tahenbudemashanglikaizheili,tanabaozhengyaolikai,neibianmentuikai,xieyanfeijinlaile。

xieyanfeibenshenmiaotiao,danlansexiaoxizhuangdalingdaizheimeyichuan,tuotuozhixingbailingyimei,qierduanfayoubushiroumei。

guchendongbuyoudezaikanyiyanziji。

“buhaoyisiadongdong,rangnijiudengle,eleba?zanmenquchiriliao,haojiumeiyikuaichifanle。”xieyanfeireqingdilazhetadao。

yiqianshixieyanfeizaiguchendongmianqiantaibuqitou,xianzaidaoguchendongtaibuqitoulaile,tagangaxiaoxiaodao。

“wo、wodehuiqumaicaile……”

zenmejiushuodaomaicaileni?shuobiedebuxingma?

“zheimejiubujian,shuoshenmeyedechiwanfanzaizou……”xieyanfeilazhetawangwaiqu。

zongbunengshuaishoujiuzou,guchendongzhinenggenzhezoule。

zheiyidaishishangwuqu,zheihuichizhongfanxixirangrang,daochudoushibailingmendeyingzi。

xirizijibuyezheiyangma?

顾宸冬恍如隔世。