抑郁后,我却重获新生第1章

diyibaicifenshouhou,congweifuruandenvyouquezhudonghewofuhe,zhiyintayaohechuliandangzhongguanxuanchaozuo,xiwangwobuyaonaoshi。

kezheici,wobingmeiyouchicuzaihetazhengzhi,fandaozhudongweitashuzhuangdaban,qinshoujiangtasongshangchuliandepaoche。

linzouqian,nvyouxiaozheshishejiwoyigewen,jiangwocongheimingdanlifanglechulai。

「kanlainizhendechengshulehenduo,denggongsishunlishangshi,womenyegaikaolvyaogehaizile。」

ketabuzhidao,neibushichengshuwenzhong,ershizhongduyiyudefuzuoyong。

houlai,jishitahechulianguanxuandinghunwoyehaobujieyi,ketaquehuangle,hongzheyanwenwoweishenmehaibuchicu。

1

「ganmaliwoneimeyuan,woyoubuhuichileni。」

jiyaoshuozhe,yi**zuozailewohuaili,louzhewodebozizhigougoudikanzhewo。

wokanzhejinzaizhichidenvyouquebuyoulengzhu。

bijing,zheiyijingshiwohetadiyibaicifenshoule。

zhiqianmeicidoushiwozhudongtaohaojiyao,tadouyilianbuxierangwogunyuandian,zuihoufeijinqianxinwankudaoqian,tacaihuigaogaozaishangdihewofuhe。

kezheici,taquezhudongxiangwoditouhehao。

难道……

tashizhendehuixinzhuanyile?

kanwomeishuohua,jiyaoyiweishenzhangdikanlewoyiyan,suijiziguzishuodao:

「qinche,jintianxiawuyouchangfabuhui,wodasuan……guanxuanlianqingle。」

官宣?!

tingdaozheilianggezi,wodexinmengdeyitiao。

bijingzheiqinianlai,yinweijiyaopayingxiangdaoshiye,yizhimeiyougongkaiwohetadelianqing。

shidaorujin,tazhongyuxiangtongle!

kexiayike,jiyaoquebikaiwodeshixian,dishengdao:

「weilegongsinengshunlishangshi,wodasuan……heshenliguanxuan。」

tingdaoshenlidemingzi,woquebingbuyiwai。

tashirurizhongtiandeshangyexinxing,yeshijiyaodaxueshidechuliannanyou。

danfannenghetahezuodeqiye,wuyiliwaidoushijijuqianlidedujiaoshougongsi,henkuaijiunengnadaoshangyirongzi。

zidashenliyinweiyewudiaozhenghuiguohou,jiyaodezuilibianzongshibutingdiniantaozheigemingzi。

wokanzhetiqishenlishi,jiyaoyanlishanguodeyicai,buyouzichaoyixiao。

guaibudetajintianduiwozheimehao,yuanlai,zhibuguoshiyichangjiaoyi。

kezheici,wobingmeiyouzaixiangzhiqianneiyangchicuchaojia,zhishidandandidianlediantou。

「嗯,我知道了。」

kanzhewopingdandefanying,jiyaosihuyouxieyiwai。

bijinghuanzuoyiwang,kongpawozaojiulanzhetaburangta,gentachaodebukekaijiaole。

banshang,tacongbaolinachuyizhangka,xiaozhegualexiawodebizi:

「wojiuzhidaonizuihaole。」

「zuijinxiangmuzhuanlexieqian,nixiangmaishenmejiuqumaiba,bieyifushouleqidexiaoxifumoyang,buzhidaodehaiyiweiwotiantianyazhanini。」

「haola,kuaiquzuofanba,nirenxinwoezheduzicanjiafabuhuiya?」

wodianlediantou,xiangwangchangyiyangxishangweiqunquchufangbeicai。

yiqian,jiyaozongshixianqiyouyanweitaizhong,duitadepifubuhao,congmeijinguoyicichufang。

kezheici,taqueturancongbeihoubaozhuwo,jinjinyouweidikanwoqiguoshaoyou。

sihushichajuedaolewodeyiyang,jiyaoqiaopidiqiaolexiawodehounaoshao,daqudao:

「zenme,nihaipawotouxuenidechuyia?」

「neidengfabuhuijieshu,wohuilaiqinzijinixiachuhaobuhao?」

taxiaodehenkaixin,jiuhaoxiangwomencongweifenshoulengzhan,yizhishiyiduienaidexiaoqinglv。

kewozhidao,zheibuguozhishijiyaoxinxudebuchang。

……

chiwanfanhou,jiyaojiedaoleshenlidedianhua,wodazhesanzhudongsongtashangche。

shenliyaoxiachechuang,yishenxizhuang,xiandegewaijunlang。

tatiaoxinbandikanwoyiyan,caiguzuoqianxudiduiwoshuodao:

「qinche,nikeqianwanbieshengqi。」

「wohejiyaozhishichaozuoeryi,henkuaijiubatahaijini。」

还给我?

wozhidao,shenlihualiyouhua。

dantashuodedaoyemeicuo,jiyaobenlaijiubushiwode。

woshenmeyemeishuo,zhishidandandixiaolexiao。

linzouqian,jiyaokanwobuchaobunao,jianglisidejilewoyigewen,suijibawocongheimingdanlilalechulai。

「qinche,kanlainizhendechengshulehenduo。」

「denggongsishangshihou,womenyegaikaolvyaogehaizile。」

duiyujiyaodechengnuo,woquebuyiweiran。

wozhidao,zheibuguoshitayishixingqidekouhaibale。

zheixienian,tabuzhidaojiwohuaguoduoshaodabing。

meicidoushixinshidandan,zuihoudouchenglekongtouzhipiao。

wozaojiumamu,lianchaojiadexinsidoumeile,zhishidianlediantou,titaguanshangchemen。

zhidaoqichezouyuan,wocaizuanjinlezijikoudailidezhenduanshu。

七年了。

jiyaohaibuzhidao,woyijingshizhongduyiyu。

tazuilidechengshuwenzhong,buguoshiwozhongduyiyudefuzuoyong。

zheixienian,woyiweizhiyaowozugouaita,zugoubaorongta,tazongyouyitianhuihuidaowodeshenbian。

kexiaodeshi,daotoulai,wolianzijidounongdiule。

zheici,wobingmeiyouhuijia,ershizhuanshendachequleyiyuan。

「wangyisheng,woxianghaole,jinwanjiuzhunbeinaobuqianyedeqiechushoushuba。」

wenyan,yishengquezhoumeizaicixiangwoquerenleshoushudefengxian。

「xiaoqin,nizhendexianghaolema?」

「shoushuyouyanzhongdefuzuoyong,nidenaobushenjingshousun,kenenghuishiqusuoyoudeqinggan,baokuoai、hen、kuaile、beishang……」

woquezhishizichaoyixiao,dianlediantou。

「meiyouqinggan,duiwohechangbushiyizhongxinsheng。」

2

tangzaibinglengdeshoushutaishang,shoushushidedengguanghuangdewoyanjingfasuan。

jishishixiaodushuideweidao,yegaibuzhuwocikexindifanyongershangdekuse。

zheixienianhejiyaozaiyiqidehuamian,xiangzoumadengyiyangzaiwonaohailishanguo。

zuikaishi,womenyecengyouguotianmideshiguang。

neishidejiyao,haibushigaogaozaishangdejizong,zhishiyigegangbiye,duiweilaichongmanchongjingdexiaoguniang。

erwoyebushixianzaizheifusiqichenchendemoyang,woleguankailang,xianggexiaotaiyangyiyang,zongshixiangfangshefadoutakaixin。

womenyiqichilubiantan,yiqizaichuzuwulichangxiangweilai,yiqiweilemengxiangpinjinquanli。

neiduanrizisuiranqingpin,queshiwozheibeizizuikuailedeshiguang。

kewohejiyaozhongjiubushiyiluren。

woshidachengshidetuzhuyixiangleguan,ertacongdashanliyibubupachulai,suoyiduiyugongchengmingjiujidukewang。

yezhengshiyinci,napawoyouyisidexiedai,fanleyisidecuowu,douhuimianduitawuxiuzhidechizehebiandi。

wolijietadeyali,yelijietadeyexin。

wonuligongzuo,xiangyaozhengmingziji,xiangyaojitaxiangyaodeshenghuo。

kejiyaoduiwodetaiduquehaishiyuelaiyuelengdan,yuelaiyuebunaifan。

wojidezuiqingchudeyici,shijiyaoshuoyaochuchaneitian。

wochulechehuo,takandoumeikanyiyan,baworengdaolubian,zijijiuqucheqianwangjichang,shuoyaoganzhechuchatanhezuo,rangwodajuweizhong。

zheizhihoudezhengzhengyitian,tadoumeijiwofaguoyicixiaoxi。

daohoumian,haishilurenkanbuxiaqujiaodejiuhuche,caijiangwosongdaoleyiyuan。

woyizhiyiweitazhishijigongjinli,yishihuangleshen。

zhidaohoulai,wocaicongtongshideshoujili,kandaoleshenlidepengyouquan。

zhaopianli,shenlizaijichangbaozheyigenvren,lianshangyangyizhexingfudexiaorong。

peiwenshi:haojiubujian,wodeairen。

keneidaban,fenmingjiushijiyao。

neishiwocaizhidao,yuanlaineitianwanshang,jiyaogenbenjiumeiyouqutanhezuo,ershiqujichangjietadechuliannanyoule。

erwo,zheigebeitapaoqizailubiandekelianchong,zaojiuyijingbeitawangdeyiganerjingle。

xiangdaozheili,wozichaodixiaolexiao,yanleiquezhibuzhudiliulexialai。

rujinjiyaoyoujiekouweilegongsishangshihoudegujiataisheng,yaoheshenlichaozuolianqing。

shijishang,zhipashiweilemibutadangchuneiduanwujierzhongdelianqing。

kongpazhidaoxianzai,tahailezaiqizhong。

wokuseyixiao,zhishaojiexialai,wozhongyukeyibuyongzaimianduizheicankudexianshi,keyibuyongzaichengshouzheiwubiandetongku,yinglaizijidejietuo。

suizhe**xiaofazuo,wodiyicianxindeshuiqu。

……

zaixinglaishi,queshibeijiyaodedianhuachaoxing。

wonaqishouji,kandaopingmushangxianshizhe「jiyao」lianggezi,yijiyilianchuandeweijielaidian。

zhengzhengshiyitongweijiedianhua。

wodexinlituranyongqiyigumomingdexiwang。

nandao,jiyaohaizaihuwo?

youyuyifan,wojietongdianhua,haimeilaidejikaikou,jiutingdaojiyaopitougailiandiduiwoyidunchouma:

「qinche!nidaodizaigaoshenmegui!」

「zhibuzhidaoxianzaishishenmeshihou?nijuranganjiwowanshizong?!」

「gongsimashangjiuyaoshangshile,nizheigeshihoujiwodiaolianzi,nishixianghuilewoma?!」

jiyaodehua,xiangyipenlengshui,doutoujiaomielewoxinzhongzuihouyisixiwang。

wozheicaixiangqi,jintianshigongsishangshiderizi。

yeshi,jiyaozenmehuituranguanxinwo?

tazhishipawoyingxiangdaotadegongsishangshibale。

huoxushiyinweiyijingzuowanleshoushu,wobingmeiyouhenshangxin。

zhishigankai,jiyaohaishineigejiyao。

huoxuyinweiwoshitananyou,huoxushipawoliyonghetadeguanximousi,taduiwozongshigewaideyanke,jiwohendadeyali。

wozichaodixiaolexiao,yuqipingjingdekepa:

「wozaiyiyuan,zhongduyiyu,gangzuowanshoushu。」

dianhuaneitoudunshiyileng,chenmolejimiao。

jinjiezhe,yigewenroudenanshengchalejinlai:

「jiyao,qinchetakendingshizaidianshishangkandaoleneixiechaozuodehuabianxinwen。」

「tayixiazijieshoubule,yeshiqingyoukeyuan。」

「yaobu……nihaishiduoqupeipeitaba,gongsizheiyouwodingzhe,woaoyejiajiabanjiuhaomeiguanxi,nimenliangkeqianwanbieyinweizheijianshichaojiashengqi。」

tingdaozheigeshengyin,wobuyongcaiyezhidaoshishenli。

jiyaoyiting,yuqidunshilenglexialai,daizhehaobuyanshideyanehechaofeng:

「qinche,qinianle,meijianniyouduodabenshi,fandaohaixuehuisahuangpianrenle?」

「zheijinianwojinihaochihaohejinigongzuo,woyigenvrenzaiwaidapin,woshenmedoumeishuo,wodouhaimeiyiyu,niyiyushangle?」

「nizenmebushuonisile,rangwoqujiannizuihouyimian?」

jiyaodeshengyinlichongmanlebunaifan,fangfoduoshuoyijuhuadoujuedelangfeishijian。

banshang,tasihucaiyishidaozijiyouxieguoji,wunaidao:

「suanle,wobuguannidaodiyaonaonayang,mingtianwoyaoheshenlizaimeitiqianguanxuandinghun,nibiejiwozhengshenmebiedeyaoezi,zhidaolema?」

wotingzhetadehua,xinlimeiyouyisibolan,zhishengxiawujindebeiliang。

「嗯,恭喜你。」

3

wodandandiyingleyisheng,yuqipingjingdexiangshizaishuoyijianyuzijiwuguandeshiqing。

dianhuaneitou,jiyaodeshengyinjiaranerzhi,xiangshibeirenturanqiaduanlexinhao。

banshang,tacaichiyidikaikou:

「qinche,nishenmeyisi,zhishichaozuoeryi,nishibushiyoushengqile?」

womianwubiaoqingdiyaoyaotou,yuqidanmo:

「没有。」

「gongsishangshi,gujiayenengyincitaisheng,woyehengaoxing。」

dianhuaneitouchenmolejimiao,ranhoushishenlideshengyin,daizheyisibuyue:

「qinche,bushiwoshuoni,jiyaoyeshiweilenihao,nimeibiyaozheimeyinyangguaiqiba?」

「wohejiyaosuirancengjingyouguoyiduanlianqing,danneidouyijingguoqule,xianzaizhishiweilegongsi,weilegujiahezuoeryi,nibieduoxiang。」

「dengshiqingjieshu,wojiubajiyaohaijinibujiuhaole?」

还给我?

worenbuzhuzaixinlilengxiaoleyisheng。

huanzuoyiqian,wotingdaozheizhonghua,kendinghuibaonu,henbudelimachongguoquzhaotasuanzhang。

kexianzai,woqueyidianganjuedoumeiyou。

「ng,wozhidaole,wohuizhunshidaochangde。」

shuowan,budengjiyaoshuohua,wobianzhijieguaduanledianhua。

kexiayike,shoujipingmuturanliangleqilai。

是季瑶发来的消息。

「qinche,wozhidaonixianzaixinqingbuhao,dangongsideshiqing,woyaliyehenda。」

「yihoubiezaigenwosahuang,shuoshenmeyiyuzhengle。」

wokanzhezheitiaoxiaoxi,xinliwuweizachen。

zheishijiyaodiyiciyongzheizhongyuqigenwoshuohua。

meiyouwangrideqiangshihelengmo,fanerduolejifenguanxinhewenrou。

zhikexi,yiqiedoutaichile。

genghekuang,zhidaoxianzai,tayemeixiangxinwoshuodeyiyuzheng,juedewoshizaichicunaopiqi。

woxianglexiang,zuizhonghaishimeizailihui。

……

diertian,dinghunyishiruqijuxing。

jiyaoyixibaisewanlifu,zhangfawanqi,luchuxiuzhangdebojing,jingzhidezhuangrongqueyangaibuletayanzhongdepibei。

shenlizechuanzheyishenjiancaihetideheisexizhuang,muguangsaoguorenqun,luozaiwoshenshangshi,zuijiaogouqiyimodeyidexiaorong,daizhejifentiaoxindeyiwei。

erwomianwubiaoqingdikanzheta,xinlihaowubolan。

yuanchu,jiyaoyezhuyidaolewodecunzai,jianwoshizhongmeiyoufanying,tadelianseweibian,sihuyouxiehuangluan,chenzhesixiawurenlianmangcoudaowoerbian,dishengshuodao:

「qinche,nibiewuhui,zheizhishiyanxi,henkuaijiuguoqule。」

我淡然地点了点头。

「嗯,我知道。」

jiyaosihuduiworucipingjingdefanyinggandaoyiwai,talengleyixia,shenshouxiangyaochupengwodelianjia,quebeiwoduokaile。

zhidaocike,tacaichajuedaowodeyiyang,guanxindao:

「qinche,nizenmele?」

「shibushishentibushufu?」

wokanzheta,yanshenkongdong,meiyouyisiwendu。

「没有,我很好。」

「只是……」

「dengzheiyiqiejieshu,womenjiufenshouba。」

「分手?!」

jiyaoxiangshitingdaoleshenmetiandadexiaohua,yanjingdengdelaoda,bukezhixindikanzhewo。

「qinche,woshuonizenmejintianbuduijing。」

「ninengbunengdongdianshi,chicuyedeyougeduba,nifeiyaozheiyangguyiqiwoma?」

taxiongkoujulieqifuzhe,yuqilidaizheyisinanyiyanshidehuangluanhefennu。

woweiweizhoumei,bumingbaitaweishenmehuiyouzheimedadefanying。

「weilegongsishangshi,weilegujia,wodangrankeyipeiheniyanxi。」

「danxiyanwanle,womenyegaijieshule,youshenmewentima?」

woyuqipingjing,fangfozaichenshuyijianzaipingchangbuguodeshiqing。

jiyaoxiangshitingdaoleshenmebukesiyidehua,jingzhidezhuangrongyeyangaibuletacikedenuhuo。

「qinche,wozheimexinku,doushiweileshei?」

「haibushiweilewomendeweilai,weilewomendehaizi!」

「nidaohao,xianzaigenwoshuojieshu?niyoushenmezigegenwotizheixie?」

tazhizhewodebizi,shengyinjianruicier,fangfoyaobasuoyoudeweiquhefennudoufaxiechulai。

wokanzheta,yanshenpingjingwubo,xinliquefanqiyisikuse。

孩子?

womencengjingyechongjingguoweilai,chongjingguoyongyoushuyuwomenzijidehaizi。

keneiyijingshiguoqushile。

「wozhidaonidoushiweilewohao,danwobuxuyaole。」

wodandandishuodao,yuqilitingbuchusihaodeqingxubodong。

「nizhidao?nizhidaogepi!」

jiyaonuhuogengsheng,yibashuaikaiwodeshou,jingzhidelianshangmanshiyanehechaofeng。

「qinche,nibieyiweiwobuzhidaonizaixiangshenme。」

「nibujiushijuedeshenlibiniyouxiu,qianglenidefengtou,jidutama?」

「nixianzaiguyizhuangzuobuzaihudeyangzi,bujiushixiangyuqinguzong,xiangrangwoqiuzhenihuidaonishenbianma?

「nibujuedezheihenyouzhima?kuiwozhiqianhaijuedenizhongyuchengshulexie!」

tayueshuoyuejidong,shengyinyeyuelaiyueda,yindezhouweiderenfenfencemu。

wokanzheta,yanshenyijiupingjing。

「随便你怎么想。」

wodandandishuodao,zhuanshenzhunbeilikai。

「qinche,nijiwozhanzhu!」

jiyaoyibalazhuwodegebo,jingzhidelianshangmanshinuhuohebugan。

「niyiweinizheiyangwojiuhuituoxiema?wogaosuni,bukeneng!」

tashuozhe,mengdizhuanshen,kanxiangbuyuanchudeshenli,zuijiaogouqiyimotiaoxindexiaorong。

「shenli,nibushiyizhixianghewozaiyiqima?wodayingni!」

shenlixianranyemeixiangdaojiyaohuituranlaizheimeyichu,lengleyixia,suijilianshangluchukuangxidebiaoqing。

takuaibuzoudaojiyaoshenbian,yibajiangtaloujinhuaili,zaitaerbiandishengshuodao:

「yaoyao,nifangxin,wohuihaohaoduinide。」

jiyaomeiyoushuohua,zhishitiaoxindikanlewoyiyan,suijirenyoushenlilouzheta,hezhouweidejizhementanxiaofengsheng。

「shenzong,ninheji**shishenmeshihoukaishijiaowangde?nenggenwomenfenxiangyixianimendeaiqinggushima?」

「shenzong,nindasuanshenmeshihouheji**jiehun?」

yishijian,jizhemendewentiyigejieyige,shenlilianshangshizhongdaizhezixindexiaorong,yiyizuoda。

「woheyaoyaodequeliangqingxiangyue,womenzaiyiqiyijingyouyiduanshijianle。」

「zhiyujiehundeshiqing,womenhaimei……」

shenlihuahaimeishuowan,jiyaoturanqiangguohuatou,yuqijiandingdishuodao:

「womenmingtianjiuqulingzheng!」

shenlijingxidikanzheta,yanzhongmanshiaiyihegandong。

「瑶瑶!」

「nizhendeyuanyijiajiwoma?」

tashuozhe,congkoudailitaochuyigejingzhidehezi,limianshiyimeishanshanfaguangdezuanjie。

yishijian,zhouweidejizhemendunshifeitengle,fenfenjiangjingtouduizhunletamen,shanguangdengbutingdishanshuo。

「jiajita!jiajita!」

renqunzhongbuzhidaoshisheidaitouhanleyiju,suiji,zhenggeyanhuitingdouxiangqilezheneryulongdehuhansheng。

jiyaotiaoxindikanlewoyiyan,suijishenchushou,renyoushenlijiangjiezhidaizaitaxianxideshouzhishang。

「qinyige!qinyige!!」

renqunzhongzaicixiangqizhengqihuayidehuhansheng。

shenlishenqingkuankuandikanzhejiyao,huanhuandixiatou,zhunbeiwenshangtadehongchun。

wozhanzairenqunzhong,kanzheyanqianzheiyimu,lianshangquemeiyouyisibiaoqing,shenzhipeihediguleguzhang。

taheshenlizaiyiqihuoxuyebucuo。

zhishao,duibiciyeshiyizhongjietuo。

wobenyiweizheiyangpeihe,jiyaojiuhuixinmanyizu,womenzhijianzheichangnaojuyehuichedijieshu。

kelingwoyiwaideshi,jiuzaishenlidezuichunjijiangchupengdaojiyaodeshunjian,taquemengdituikaileta。

suoyourendoulengzhule,bukezhixindikanzheyanqianzheiyimu。

jiyaoquexiangshimeiyoukandaozhouweirenzhenjingdemuguang,tahongzheyanjing,diediezhuangzhuangdichongxiataichaowopaolai。

「qinche,nidaodizenmele?」

tazhuazhuwodegebo,shengyinzhandouzhe,daizheyisikuqiang。

「weishenmenibuchicu?nibushishuozheibeiziwozhinengjiajinima?」