第一章 相亲失败

“zhangxiansheng,jiandanshuoba,wojiehunhoujiuyouyigeyaoqiu,buchuqugongzuoniyangwo,ruguonidayingwomenmingtianjiukeyiqulingzheng”yeqingqingkanzheyanqianqingxiudenanrenshuodao。

nanrenpudeyixiaodao:yexiaojiewobuzhidaonineililaidezixintichuzheizhongyaoqiu,ruguoninshiyigeyouzisedehuapingbaizaijiazhekanhaiyoujifenquwei,kenizhishipingpingwuqiquebuchumenshangbanrangrenyangzheni,xianzaishiershiyishijile,nizheiyangdehaiyourenyaome?”shuowanbianzhuanshenlikai。

yeqingqingnaqishouzhongdekafei,zheiyangdeqingkuangtazaojiushuxile…

huidaojiali,menhaimeiguanshangye***lao*jiufaleqilai。

“nizheisiyatou,caijianmianjiurangbierenyihoubaiyangni,nidaoshixiangdetingmei!”

“zheihuansheibubeinihepaoa,jiuzheifudexingzhibudinghaidejiniancainengjiachuquni!”

yeqingqingganxiaodao:“yaoshimanzhebushuozheigetiaojian,daoshihouxiangchuxialaiyoutanbulong,qibushilangfeiganqing。”

“jiunidewaidaoliduo!”yemameihaoqidehuidao,shoubiandeshoujizhendongdaduanletaxiamianfalao*dehua,yemanaqishoujiyikan,lianshangdunshiyixi。

yeqingqingmeiduoxianghuanlexiezijinwuqule,meiduojiujialijiulailekeren,tingneisangmenbianzhishizijidedayi。

dayiheyemayitongjinlewuzi,yeqingqingzhidaolianggerenyaolaifanan,lianmangwuzhuerduodao:“biequanwowodouzhidao,ninerlaohaishishengzhediankoushuiba。”

dayixiaodao:“dayizhidaonidexiangfa,zheibuzhenweinizhaodaoleyizhuanghaoqinshi。”

yeqingqingyixiazilailejingshen,taiyanqiaoqu,dayishenshenmimidao:“tasuirannianjidaleyixie,danyoufangyouchebushuo,renjiakehaishiyigelaozong,jialideqiangouyanghaojigexiangnizheiyangdemichong!”

yeqingqingbenshigaoxingde,danzongjuedenalibuduijingdao:“buhuishigezaolaotouba?”

“dayixiangshineizhongrenma?renjiayejiubinidageshisui,sishibudaodenianjizhengshiyoumeilideshihoua!”dayiyidunluanchui,chuideyeqingqingmimihuhude,xinlidaoyerenbuzhuqidaiqilai。

“zheidaoshibucuo,neishenmeshihouyuezhejiangemian?”

“niyaoshigaoxing,mingtiandayijiudainiqujianta。”dayilianshangyixi,meiyanzhezidouqilaile。

yeqingqinghaishijuedeguaiguaide,zheizhongzuanshiwanglaowuyinggaibuquenvrena,zenmehuilunluodaoyaoxiangqinni?

“大姨有照片吗?”

dayizaoliaodaoyeqingqinghuineimewen,nachushoujiyibiandao:“fangxin,dayibuhuijinizhaozhaochoude,niqiaoqiaobushuoshigeshuaige,yesuanyangmaotangtangbushi?”

yeqingqingyuanbengaoxingdeliankanzhepingmushangzheigezhangxiangsiwendenanziyihouchedijiangzhule。

这不是小桃他爸吗?

“dayishibushinongcuole,zheiweilixianshengshiwoxueshengdebaba,wojidetashiyoulaopodea。”

dayiyouxieyiwai,niutoukanleyiyanyema,qingkeyishengdao:“zheimeqiaoa,neidaoshizhenghao,shenglebushaoshini!”

“什么意思?”

“shihuahenishuoba,zheiweilixianshengqueshiyoulaopo,keyebufangaitayangyigenia!qingqingniyouwenshunyouguaiqiao,haibushizuoyaodexingzi,niyaoshigenletabaoguanyouhaoriziguo。”

yeqingqingcengdeyixiazhanzhile,dengzheyankanzhedayidao:“ganqingnishirangwoqudangxiaosanzuoqingfua?”

“zenmebucheng?”dayibielebiezuidao,“nibujiuxiangzhezhaogenanrenyangzheni,rangniyihoubuyongganzaijiaguochishankongdemichongrizi。”

“rujinzheilixianshengjiachanwanguan,nizhiyaotianyanmiyuhongzhe,niyaoshenmejishenmea!”dayifenxidetoutoushidao,sishihenzijinianjidale,ruoshinianqingzaojiushangganzhequzuozheimen“haoqinshi”le。

yeqingqingniutoukanxiangyemadao:“nizhidao?”

“qingqingbushinizongshuoxianmuyiqiangushihoudeqie,rujinzheibujiushiyigehaojihui?”

“zheigenbenjiushiliangmashi,qiezaibujiyeshiqujinmen,zhengerbajingjialiyifenzi。rujinshiyiqiyifuzhi,zuoxiaosanneishitoujimogoudeshier,wobugan!”

yemalianseyibian,zhuazheyeqingqingdeshounudao:“yaomenilaoshizhaogebucuoderenjiale,biechenineiyitaowaili。niyaojixuxiangzhezuomichong,neimejiugenzhedayiqujianjianneiweilixiansheng。”

yeqingqingshuaidiaoye***shou,youdianbukezhixindao:“nandaoniyaobiwoquzuoxiaosan?”

yemalianseyouxienankan,dayizaipangbangqiangdao:“xianzaizheigeshehuixiaosanbiandidoushi,neixienanrenleyimeinaozidejitamensongqian,zheibutinghaode。bunabaibuna,dayijuedetingbucuode,lixianshengshouxiadefangchankebuzhiduoshaoni!nigenletadingranyitaobieshushinengnongdaode...”

yeqingqingtuikaidayi,shuaimenzoule。

yinweizheishiyeqingqinghaojitianmeihuijia,zhidaozuzongjisiderizidaole,zheicaipobudeyiyiqihuilelaozhaiqu。

laozhaishiyizuoguseguxiangdesiheyuan,yejiazushangshiguanshangshijia,buguoyeqingqingbingbushiyejiazhengtongmayipaide。

laozuzongbenshigeshuzi,nengdezheiruodafengguangdezuzhai,quanshitashengmudegonglao。shengmusuishiwuyitai,keneifengguangbucengzhengqiduoshao,yizhiyurujinneiyejianainaihaishichangniantaoneiwuyitaidechuanqigushi。

“neishitamenyehewoshuole,queshibuxianghua!”yenainaitiyeqingqingbaobuping,wenroudezhuazheyeqingqingdeshou,jingenzhenachuyigezhuozitaodaoleyeqingqingdeshouwanshang。

“nainaizhidao,congxiaonierrumuran,tingduoletaizu***shi,zheicaiyouleneixieniantou。”nainaitanleyikouqi,“keshidaizongguibutongle,neixiedongxiyezhicunzaineigeshidai,rujinhaishiyaonuliguohaozijirizi,moyaozongxiangzheyizhangnanren。”

“zheigezhuozishizutainainaicengdaiguode,jingeernainaisongjini,yexiwangninengmingbaiguolai。”

nainaihuayuwenrouciai,yeqingqingzhidaonainaishizhendeweizijihao,xiangrangtadaxiaolezuomichongdeniantou。

“nainai,zheidiandaolisunnvhaishimingbaide。”yeqingqingmuguangzhuozhuo,shifenrenzhenzhuantoukanleyanguazaiqiangshangdeneifumeirentu。

“sunnvshenzhishidaibutong,suoyicaijianjuejujueledayishuodeshi。”

“sunnvzhiyixiangzuogemichong,yebudandanshiyinweitaizu***shi,shiyinweizheigeshidaideganqingtaiguolianjia,wojianguotaiduonvrenqingzhuyiqiezuizhongluodeyishencanbai。”taqingtanleyikouqi,“ganqingzheizhongdongxixuwupiaomiao,sunnvjuedezijimeibenshizhuazhu,haiburushengzaineigushihouzuogeqie,anfenshoujidebeiyangzhe。danzuoxianshidexiaosan,wojuebuyao!”

yeqingqingzhijuedeshenziyizhui,zhouweimohuleqilai,biyanzhengkai,zhenggeshijiedoubianleyang。