第1章
tiezhalandeyinyingbanbodiyingzaichenmolianshang，kongqizhongmimanzhehanchou、meiweiheyancaodehunheqiwei。juliushili，jigenanrenhuozuohuotang，shenqingmamu。
yigechuanzhezanglansezhifu，daizhe55shidayanmaodejingcha，nazhetangcigangzi，manyouyoudihezheshui，quanranbuguwuneihunzhuodekongqi。
chenmoroulerousuantongdetaiyangxue，sixuruchaoshuibanyonglai。
2024nian，kuanchangmingliangdedongshizhangbangongshi，luodichuangwaishifanhuadetongchengyejing。chenmozhanzaichuangqian，shouzhongwozheyibeihongjiu，yanshenfuza。taxiangqizijiweilinyouranfuchudeyiqie：weileta，tazhongshenweiqu；weiletasuoweidemengxiang，taqingjinsuoyou，shenzhibuxinuoyonggongkuan；weileta，tazuizhongluodeshenbaiminglie，langdangruyu。
“chenmo，nitaishale，niyiweiwozhendeainima？”binglengdeshengyinzaierbianhuixiang，linyouranjingzhidelianshangmanshichaofeng，“wobuguoshiliyongnibale。”
“haiyouniduzilidehaizi......”chenmozhandouzheshengyin，buganxiangxinzijitingdaodeyiqie。
“shigeyuande。”linyouranlengmodituchusigezi，xiangyibajiandaocichuanlechenmodexinzang。
geyuan，geshuangdefuqin，tongchengyelianchangyuanchangzhang，neigechouxiangdenanren，chenmobuganxiangxinlinyouranzaihuayiyangdenianjijingranjiangwanmeidezijijiaojileyigelaonanren。
linyouranlianshangdaizhedeyidexiaorong：“chenmo，nishule，congyikaishinijiushule！”
huiyijiaranerzhi，chenmomengdizhengkaiyanjing，yanqianshi1983nianyinanchaoshidejuliushi。
tahuangusizhou，shuxiqiepojiudeqiangbiheshengxiudetiechuang，yiqiedoushineimedezhenshi。taditoukanlekanzijishenshangdelansegongzhuang，youmolemokoudailideliangpiaohejizhangmaopiao，xinzangjulieditiaodongqilai。
“wo…wohuilaile？”chenmonannanziyu，yigunanyiyanyudejidongyongshangxintou。taqingchudijide，1983nian，zhengshitarenshengdezhuanzhedian。
neitianqingchen，tacongshuimengzhongxinglai，faxianzijihelinyouranzaiyizhangchuangshang。tawanquanbujideqianyiwanfashengleshenme，zhijuedetoutongyulie。linyouranzuozaichuangbian，shoulinazheyigeyinzhemudanhuadehuanuanping，dizhetou，yiyanbufa。yangguangtouguochuanghusajinlai，zhaozaitaroushundetoufashang，fanqiyicengjinsedeguangyun。
“youran，wo…wo......”chenmoxiangyaojieshi，quebuzhidaogaishuoshenme。
linyourantaiqitou，yankuanghonghongde，shengyingengyan：“chenmo，ni…niweishenmeyaozheiyangduiwo？”
jiexialaidejigeyue，duichenmolaishuorutongemeng。
linyouranhuaiyunle，yikouyaodingshichenmo**leta。zaineigebaoshoudeniandai，“liumangzui”shizuyihuidiaoyigerenyishengdezuiming。weilebaozhuerzi，chenmodefumubianmailequanbujiachan，caijiangtacongjuliusuolilaolechulai。
chenmochuyuhou，manxinkuijiu，tashizhongrenweilinyouranduzilidehaizishitade。
tazhaodaolinyouran，xiangyaohetajiehun，jitahehaiziyigewanzhengdejia。
“jiehun？nipingshenme？”linyouranlengxiaoyisheng，yanshenlimanshibiyi，“niyiweiwohuijiajinizheigeliumang？”
chenmozhanzailinyouranjiamenkou，kanzhetalengmodebeiying，xinrudaojiao。tabuzhidaozijizuocuoleshenme，weishenmehuiluodaorucitiandi。
“youran，nitingwojieshi......”chenmoxiangyaoshangqian，quebeilinyouranhenhendituikai。
“biepengwo！”linyouranyanediduokai，“wobuxiangzaijiandaoni！”
chenmotuirandizhanzaiyuandi，kanzhejinbidefangmen，yiguwuliganyongshangxintou。tabuzhidao，zheiyiqiedoushilinyouranhegeyuanjingxincehuadeyinmou。
“chenmo，”juliushili，yigemanlianluosaihudenanrenpailepaichenmodejianbang，“xiangshenmeni？zheimerushen？”
chenmohuiguoshenlai，yaoleyaotou，meiyoushuohua。takanzheyanqianzheigemoshengdenanren，youkanlekanjuliushilideqitaren，yanshenzhujianjiandingqilai。
“zheiyici，wobuhuizairangbeijuzhongyan！”chenmowojinquantou，ananfashi。tazhanqishen，zoudaotiechuangbian，kanzhechuangwaihuimengmengdetiankong，shenxiyikouqi。
chenmohaiweicongsixuzhongchouli，tiemenbian“kuanglang”yishengdakaile。yigenianqingjingchazhanzaimenkou，mianwubiaoqingdishuodao：“chenmo，tishen。”
chenmoshenxiyikouqi，genzhejingchazouchulejuliushi。zoulanglihunandedengguangzhaozaitalianshang，xiandeyouxiecangbai。tayiluchenmo，jiaobujianding。
tuikaishenxunshidemen，yiguhunzhuodekongqipumianerlai。fangjianliyanwuliaorao，jigechuanzhezhifuderenzuozaizhuohou，shenseyansu。qiangshangguazheyifu“tanbaicongkuan，kangjucongyan”debiaoyu，xiafangshiyizhang1983nianderili，xianhongdeshuzifangfozaitixingchenmocikeshenchuhedi。
geyuanzuozaizhengzhongjian，shoulijiazheyigenyan，tunyuntuwu。tapangbianzuozhezhangyuanchao，meitoujinsuo，yiyanbufa。jigejingchazuozaitamenliangce，shoulinazhebihebenzi，zhunbeijilu。
linyouranzuozaiyipang，dizhetou，jianbangweiweizhandou，sihuzaikuqi。linfulinmuzuozaitashenbian，butingdianweita。geshuangzezhanzailinyouranshenhou，yilianguanqiediwangzheta。yutamenxingchengxianmingduibideshichenmodefumu，tamenzuozailingyice，manliandanyoudikanzhechenmo，zuichunzhandouzhe，quebuganfachurenheshengyin。
“chenmo，”geyuanzhongzhongdixileyikouyan，ranhoujiangyantouhenhendienzaiyanhuigangli，“nihaiyoushenmehuashuo？”
chenmohuanshisizhou，yanshenpingjing，meiyousihaohuangluan。takanzhelinyouran，youkanlekangeshuang，zuijiaoluchuyisibuyichajuedelengxiao。
“gechangzhang，qingwenwofanleshenmecuo？”chenmoyuqipingjingdiwendao。
“nihaizhuangsha？”geyuanmengdiyipaizhuozi，nuhoudao，“nipinxingbuduan，zuofengbaihuai，dianwulelinyourantongzhideqingbai，nihaiyoulianwenzijifanleshenmecuo？”
linyourantaiqitou，leiyanposuodikanxiangchenmo，gengyanzheshuodao：“chenmo，ni…niweishenmeyaozheiyangduiwo？wo…woyizhidou…douneimexiangxinni......”
geshuangyezhanchulaibangqiang：“chenmo，nitairangwoshiwangle！woyizhiyiweinishigezhengrenjunzi，meixiangdaonijingranzuochuzheizhongshiqing！”
chenfuchenmutingdaozheili，zaiyerenbuzhule。chenmukuzheshuodao：“gechangzhang，qiuqiuni，fanglewomenjiaxiaomoba！ta…tahaishigehaizia！”
chenfuyegenzheshuodao：“womenhuichengdansuoyouzeren，qiuqiunimen，jitayicijihuiba！”
chenmokanzhefumujiaojideshenqing，xinzhongwuweizachen。tashenxiyikouqi，pingjingdishuodao：“linyouran，nisuoshuodezheixie，youzhengjuma？”
linyouranshenziweiweiyizhan，yanshenshanshuo，zhizhiwuwudishuodao：“wo…wojiushizhengju......”
“nijiushizhengju？”chenmolengxiaoyisheng，“nishenshangdehenjishiwodezhengju？niduzilidehaiziyeshiwodezhengju？”
“shi…shide......”linyourandeshengyinyuelaiyuexiao，jihutingbujian。
chenmoshangqianyibu，bishizhelinyouran，yiziyijudiwendao：“niduzilidehaizi，shiwodema？”