第6章 包子铺里的骚话

zaoshangwudian,gangchengdetianhaishimengmengliang,chenhanshengzhengdayanjingdingzhetianhuaban,tabenlaiyiweiyijuexinglaiyoujilvhuidao2019nian,jieguozhuantoukandaochuangtou《longzhu》dedanxingbenmanhua,yejiusixinle。

“kanlaizhendeyaoliuzaizheilile。”

chenhanshengtanyikouqi,jiezhekaishishuayaxilian,liangmeijuanbeiwaimiandedongjingchaoxing,qilaihoukanleyiyan:“you,jintianchengongziqizheimezao?”

“我饿了,妈。”

chenhanshengpaipaiduzishuodao。

“ganqingshibeiexingde。”

liangmeijuanconglaibuhuiguanzhezijiaerzi:“duzielezijiqumaizaocana,buyongkaolvwomen,wohenibaqudanweishitangjiejue,xianzaiyaoqushuigehuilongjue。”

liangmeijuanshuowanhaizhendehuiwoshile,shenzhidanxinchenhanshengzaichaoxingziji,juran“bada”yishengsuoshanglefangmen。

chenhanshengyizhenwuyu,liangmeijuanzuishangshuobuzhichichenzhaojunpeiyanghaizidefangshi,qishiqueyizhiqianyimohuadeguanche。

liangnianqianchenhanshenghaizaishanggaoyideshihou,liangmeijuanjiuhenjiaoaodeheniangjiarenchuiniudao,jishizijihechenzhaojunturanchuchehuo,15suidechenhanshengzaizheigeshijieshangyejueduiebusi。

dangshizheijuhuarangchenhanshengwaipoqidepokoudama,shengchengruguozheiliangkouzibunengyanghaizi,jiubachenhanshengsonghuixiangxia。

laoniangbuguanziji,chenhanshengzhinenggulinglingdezouxialoumishi,xianzaijiedaoshangdoumeishenmeren,zhiyoulinglingsuisuijijiamaizaocandeshangfanzaibaitan,kongqizhongmimanzheqingshasidebowu,haiyouyidianfuzhezaipifushangdeliangyi,dangengduoshishenqingqishuangdeshuchang。

“油条味道很香”

“鸡蛋饼也不错”

“xiaolongbaohaishiretengtengde”

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chenhanshengyilukanzhe,duziyekaishiluanjiao,maijidanbingdelaobanzhuyidaozheigeyouyixiangdeguke,yuanyuandehandao:“xiaohuozi,laiyikuaiba。”

“OjbK。”

chenhanshengkuaibuzouguoqu,shenzhizhunbeiranglaobanjiagedan,ranhoucaixiangqidangqianshi2002nian,meiyoushoujidezijiruhefuzhangni?

“坑儿子啊。”

liangmeijuanyewangjijilingqian,chenhanshengzhinenglianlianbushefangqijidanbing,qishitadaobujieyishezhang,guanjianrenjialaobanjieyi。

xiangxiangyezhenshigaoxiao,shenjiashuqianwandechenhanshengzhongshenghoujuranmeiqianchizaocan,buguotaxintaibucuo,zaijiashangyexiangduoshiyingshiqinianqiandegangcheng,yushiyanzhehuchengheyiluzouxiaqu。

buzhibujuezoulehaojigongli,zuihouzaishuangqiaogongyuantingxialai。

zheiliyijingyoubushaozaoliandedayedama,chenhanshengbenlaidasuanzuohuijiuhuijia,turankandaoyigeshuxideshenying。

居然是萧容鱼。

tazhengzaichenpao,chuanzheyundongduanku,heisejinshenfubashentiquxianwanquangoulechulai,zheirangchenhanshengkandeshiyizhenjidong。

“萧容鱼。”

chenhanshengzuozaishidengshang,huishoudazhaohu。

xiaorongyukandaochenhanshengfeichangchayi,xianzaiyejiushi6dianbanzuoyou,chenhanshengyinggaishuizaojuecaidui,tazenmezaizheilini?

除非······

xiaorongyuturanmingbaile,calecabiyishangjingyingdehanshui,youyuyixiazhongyuhaishiduichenhanshengshuodao:“xiaochen,wozhidaonidexinyi,danshiwodaxuezhendebuxianglianai。”

“什么鬼?”

chenhanshengchijingdekanzhexiaorongyu,xinxiangzheirennaodaichuwentileba,dazaoshangdetanqingshuoai。

kandaochenhanshengdebiaoqing,xiaorongyuyouxiewunaideshuodao:“ninandaobushiweiledengwo,caizheimezaozhuanmendengzaizheilidema?”

陈汉升愣了一下。

“还有。”

xiaorongyujuezhehongrundezuiba:“zuotiannijiazhuangburenshiwo,dagaidoushixiangyinqiwodezhuyiba。”

“hansheng,qishinibubizheiyangde,woxianzaibuxiangtanpengyou,zhixianghaohaowanchengxueye。”

xiaorongyurenzhenerchengkendeshuodao。

chenhanshengmeihuida,jiannandeyanlekoutumo。

“buzhisheng,shibushibeiwoshuozhongle。”

xiaorongyuxiuzhangdeyanjingfangfoyihongqingquanyingyingliudong,daizhezixindeguangmang。

chenhanshengzhengzhengdekanzhe,zuizhongjurandiantouchengren:“nishizaitaicongmingle。”

“zheiyangba,woqingnichizaocan,bianchibianshuoba。”

shenshangyimaoqianmeiyoudechenhanshengzhudongshuodao。

guobuqiran,xiaorongyuyaoyaotou:“qishiyinggaiwoqingni,dushushiniyizhizhaoguwobijiaoduo。”

“haode,jiuzheiyangyukuaidejuedingle。”

chenhanshenghenshuangkuaidediantou,haizhudongjianyidao:“menkouyouyijiaweidaohenhaodebaozipu,zaipeishangdoujiangheyouzhadehuangdou,xiangxiangdouhenyouweikou。”

“我们去尝尝吧。”

chenhanshengyouxiexingfendeshuodao。

xiaorongyuyoudianmeishiyingzheizhongjiezouzhuanbian,xiaolianyizhenmihu,zenmeganjuechenhanshengsihuduizaocandexingqugengda,zhinengmangrandediandiantou。

zheijiabaozipushengyidequehao,qianshichenhanshengjiujingchanglaizheilichi,youyuzaimenkou,haiyoubushaochuanzhezhifuderenjinjinchuchu,yourenhexiaorongyudazhaohu:“xiaoyuerchizaocanlea。”

shuowan,tamenhaikanleyiyanmenzhetouchibaozidechenhansheng。

xiaorongyufanlianghenxiao,dabufenshijiandouzaikanzhechenhansheng,tadagaixiangshuoshenme,danshiyoubuzhidaozenmekaikou。

“还是太年轻啊。”

chenhanshengzhuangzuomeikanjian,dakuaiduoyidechilesanlongroubao,zheicaikanzhezijidupishuodao:“nia,yihoukebunengzheimebaoyinbaoshi,wanyizhongnianzhangpangzenmeban?”

chenhanshengqishishiyouganerfa,xiaorongyuquejuedehenyouyisi,ranhouwendao:“chibaomeiyou?”

“chibaole,xiexieqingke,wohuijiale。”

chenhanshengdiaolegenyaqianzaizuili,huanghuangyouyoudezouchubaozipu。

laobanyanbabadengzhetafuzhang,chenhanshengnayouqian,taniutoukanleyiyan,xiaorongyuzhengzaihoumianzhatoufa。

zuoyoutayetingbujian,yushichenhanshengkaiwanxiaoshuodao:“dengzhe,wonvpengyouyiqiji。”

zheishicongwaimianzoujinyigeguazheerjijingduxiandezhongnianjingcha,yezhenghaotingjianlezheijuhua。

“youdianyanshua,gujishifumudepengyouba。”

chenhanshenghetaduishiyiyan,danshizaixiangbuqimingzi,zhinengdiantouzhiyi。

buguozaimenwaidengdaideshihou,chenhanshengkandaoneigezhongnianjingchazhengqinnidebangxiaorongyucashihanshui,baozidianlaobanzhizhezijizheibianbuzhidaozaishuoxieshenme。

“坏了。”

chenhanshengturanxingwuguolai,tarengdiaoyaqiandashenghandao:“xiaoxiao,wojialiyoudianshi,xianhuiqule。”

yebudengxiaorongyurenhehuiying,chenhanshengliuzhejiaobujiuhuijiale。

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