第1章
sishiwuloudegaodu，dimianshangdeyiqiedoumiaoxiaoruchenai。
被推下去的一瞬间。
suxinmoxiangqilezijizheiyisheng。
活得卑微又讽刺。
tanaohaizhongbuduanshanguozhangyitingdemianrong。
tashuo：“suxinmo，nishiquanshijiezuihaopiandenvren，yeshiquanshijiezuichunde！”
事实也如他所言。
shinianhunyin，taweitaqingfuleyiqie，ouxinlixuedibangtazaididoulizu，bugulianmiandibangtazhengduozhujiadecaichan，yijingfangdilesuoyoudezitai、zunyan。
bierenshuotahenlawuqing，tazhizaihutadepiankewenrou。
danjiusuanshizheiyang，shiniandeganqing，yijiunanyiwureyikeshitouzuodexin。
weilededaoyifenhetong，zhangyitingbuxijiangsuxinmomiyun，jietadeduziyunyuchourendehaizi，ranhouzaitazuigaoxingdeshike，wuqingdigaosutazhenxiang。
ruofeiruci，taxianzaidouhaishahuhuzuozhedang“muqin”demeimeng。
zaisishiwuloushi，suxinmoniutoujiuduishangleneishuangxiazhangdeyanmu。
“niduzilidehaizi，jibushiwode，yebushinide，gengbushizhaojiadezhong。”
“ershiwosuiyifangdeyigeyezhong！”
“benxiangdengnishengxialaihou，zaihenhendi**ni。”
“meixiangdaobeinitiqianzhidaole。”
“不过也没关系。”
“fanzhengjieguodoushiyiyangde。”
张义廷笑着。
苏心沫心如刀割。
“niweishenmeyaozheiyangduiwo？”
zhangyitingxingleyixiabizi，yanshenedudidengxiangsuxinmo。
“为什么？”
“nihaiganwenwoweishenme？”
“bushinizhuangjianwohejiaoerdeshi，woyouzenmehuishejishaleta，laiannidexinni？”
“doushini，suxinmo！”
“rangwoshalewozheibeizizuixinaidenvren！”
zheiyijuhua，shunjianrangsuxinmoxiangqileyixieshiqing。
dangniandinghunyandeshihou，zhangyitingyutadeyimeisujiaoxijingranshuizaitongyizhangchuangshang......
ruofeihoulaisujiaoxichulechehuoyiwaishenwang，jiazhizhangyitingkukuaiqiu，zijizenmekenengyuanliangta？
细雨朦胧。
tayaopolezuichun，“wofumudesi，doubushiyiwai，ershiniyishoucehuade？”
zhangyitingrengdiaoleyusan，deyiqiechangkuangdixiaozhe，renyouyushuixishuazhetadelian。
“那你说呢？”
“buranzenmemanichunni？”
xiangshiyouwanqianmayizaisiyaosuxinmodexin，tazhangkailekou，quefaxianzijifabuchuyidingdiandeshengyinqumata，liangjiu，caichunchijianjichuyiju，“zhugouburu。”
“suxinmo，nizhendeshitaiguotianzhenle，dangchunifaxianwohejiaoertouqing，nijiubuyinggaiyuanliangwo。”
zhangyitingyibubudijiejinzhesuxinmo。
“wocongshizhizhongsuoshenaizhederen，jiuzhiyoujiaoeryiren。”
“niweishenmeyaoxihuanshangwoni？”
“wozhihuidaijiniwuqiongwujindetongkua？woshinibeicanyishengdedizaozhea！”
suxinmoyanqiandezhangyitingruwangchangyiban，xuweidixiaozhe。
yanqianzheigerushexiebandenanren，zhendeshitayiqiandezhiaime？
haimeidengtahuanguoshenlai，tabianbeizhangyitingtuixialegaolou。
erbianshihuhudefengsheng，naohaizhongjinshitazheiyishengdehuamian。
“zhangyiting，nibudehaosi！”
“pa”deyisheng，suxinmochengleyitanlanni，zhiyouyijiudeyu，zaixishuazheta。
......
yishixianyuheian，kezhuanshunjian，suxinmojiuxingleguolai，quejuedezijihuxikunnan。
yigefuyoucixingqiefennudeshengyinzaierbianxiangqi。
“buguanshisheisongnilaide，nidoubiewangxiangchengweichengtaitai！”
“nikeyihuiqurangtamensilezheitiaoxin。”
“zaiwochengmodexinli，congshizhizhongjiuzhiyoumoeryigeren，rujintasile，wojinshengdoubuhuizaiqu！”
chengmohunshenshangxiasanfazheyigujiuqi，taxuehongzheyan，qiazheyanqiannvrendebozi，faxiezhezijixinzhongdenuhuoyubeishang。
tazuixihuandenvren，zaijintiantiaolousile，shuaichengleyitanlanni。
jinjiezhe，jiazuneibianderen，jiuzaitachuangshangsaileyigetongmingtongxingdenvren，zheirangtaruhebuqi？
suxinmopinmingpaidazhechengmoqingjinbaoqideshou，simingzhengzhazhe。
tajidezijicongsishiwulougaoduzhuixia，juewushenghaidekeneng，zenmeyixinglai，jiuzaizijidesiduitouchengmodechuangshangle？
zhouzaomoshengdeyiqie，haiweirangtanongmingbai，keshiyanqianchengmosisiqiazhutabozideshouzaiyicirangtaganshoudaolesiwangdekongju。
“fang......fangshou......”suxinmokuaiyaojuewangle，yishiyekaishijianjianmohu。
jiuzaitakuaiyaoyunguoqudezuihouyike，nanrenfangkaileshou，
suxinmodiezuozaichuangshang，dakoudakoudehuxizhe，
haiweidengtapingfuxialai，chengmoyouyibaqianzhutadeshouwan，
dongzuohaobuliuqingcubaodejiangtacongchuangshangtuoxialai，zhijiejiangtachedaomenwai，pengdeyishengguanshanglemen。
“滚！！”
suxinmoroulerouyijingfaqingdeshouwan，liangliangqiangqiangdewangwaizouqu。
suiji，takanjianchuanghubolishangzijidedaoying，
一个陌生的自己，
suiranxingganyoupiaoliang，danjuebuduishitiaolouqiande“suxinmo。”
nandaozijizhongshengzailelingwaiyigenvrenshenshang？
suxinmoduizheboli，molemozijixianzaidelian。
chuganzhenshierxini，jueduibushizaizuomeng。
tayaozhuya，jiranlaotianjiletayicihuodexinshengdejihui，
tayidingyaorangsuoyourendouzhidaozhangyitingzheigechushengdezhenmianmu，henhendebaofuhuiqu！
zhishi，suxinmomuguangfuzadekanxiangchengmosuozaidefangxiang，
meixiangdaozheigecengjingdesiduitou，juranduizijiyongqingzhishen......