第一章 你长得太丑!

yejiadaxiaojietuileshengjiadehun!

zheixiaoxichuanchuquchadianmeirangjiudianyanhuiliderenquandoujingdiaolexiaba!

sheibuzhidaoshengjiazaibshikeyishuoshiquanshitaotian,renrendouxiangzhengzheqiangzhebajiedemingmen,xianzaishengjiaxiaoshaoyejuranjiuzheimebeiyejiadechounvjituilehun?!

“shengziluo,nitingqingchu,jintianwogennituihunbushiyinweibiede,shiyinweinizhangdechouwokanbushangni!”yesijinshuiseyingyingdemouzhongfangfodaizhewanzhongfengqingban,jifengdesaoxiangzhanzaiyanhuizhongyangdejunxiunanzi,shuochudehuaqueshikengqiangyouli!

tadaodishangbeizishizenmexiangdejurannengkanshangzheizhonglajihuose,pinweishenmeiweimianyechataiduoleba?

shengziluonaxiangdaozheiyixiangweiweinuonuogenzaitashenhoudefeizhujing,jurandangzhongyaohetatuihun?erqiehaishuotazhangdechou?!

“yesijin,niyouzaiwanshenmebaxi?!bieyiweiwanyuqinguzongdezheizhongshouduanwojiunengduokanniliangyan,yaotuihunneijiutui!”

shengziluojianzhibeiqifengle,tazenmenengsuanchou?!zhenggeashibuzhidaoyouduoshaonvrenbawangzhenengpashangtadechuang!zheinvrenjuranshuotazhangdechou?!

tayaozheya,mouzhongdexianehaobuyanshi,“yesijin,niyiweiniruguobushiyejiadaxiaojiedeshenfen,niyepeigenwodinghun?nizijishenmezhangxiangshenmeshencaiyebuqingchu?youchouyoupangjiushitouzhujingzhuanshi!nizheiyangdelianwozhenshikanyicituyici!”

“dajie,nixiangqingchu,tuihunzheizhongshikebushiwanxiaohua,yaoshirangbazhidaokendinghuidasinide。”yesichunaxiangdedaozheizhujingjuranhuituranlaizheimeyitao,jiuliantashenbiandeshengziluoyeshiqidezuanjinlequantouyaoyaqichi,tajiermangquandao:“youhuazanmenhuijiazaishuo,mianderangrenkanxiaohua。”

yesijinbiyidesaoshiletayiyan,“xiaohua?nizheigesishengnvbujiushiyejiazuidadexiaohuame?”

zheihuadunshijiurangyesichuxiumeidelianshangyipianshabai,mouzhongdeyingyingleihuakanderenjianzhixinshenglianxi。

kehaiweidaiyesichukaikou,yesijinjiuhaobuliuqingdezhaletayiju,“biegenwowannineitaowojianyouliandebaxi,liuzhezheigegongfuquhaohaogoudaniqianrenjiefuba。”

“yesijin!nibietaiguofenle!yaotuihunjiutuihun!bielaihamaxiangchitianerou,wokandaonijiuexin!jiusuanyaowanyuqinguzongdebaxiniyemeineigeziben!”shengziluojinjindiyaozheya,“wobenlaikanshangdejiushisijiao,shinizijihouzhelianpiyingcoushanglaijiezheyejialaotaitaidemianzigenwodingdehun!woconglaijiumeikanshangguoni!”

“ng?”yesijintiaomei,zhijuedezijizheishoushangshizaishiyangyangxiangyaochougerenlaijiejieqi,tawangzhezhanzaimianqiandezheiliangrenlengxiaodao:“yuanlaishengdashaoyeconglaidoumeikanshangguowo?neikezhenshiweiqunile,yibiandayinggenwodinghunyibianyougenwomenyejiadeerxiaojiesidixiatouqing,ze,shengjiadashaotouqingweihunqimeimei,zheitiaobaguayaoshibaochuqule,zhipashengbofuyaoqiaoduannidetuiba?”

“nihushuoshenmeni!”shengziluobeitadehuashuodexinjing,shengpazheihuazhenbeichuanlechuqu,naodao:“yesijin,shinizijibuyaoliandaotiewo,woconglaidoumeikanshangguoni!niyebukanzijigoubugouzigepeideshangwo!”

“dui,woyesijindequeshipeibushangnishengjiashaoyedeshenfen,danwoxiannichougennideshenfenbanfenguanxidoumeiyou!nichoujiushichou,woxianqijiushixianqi。”yesijinjianzhiweizijishangbeizikanzhongguoshengziluozheijianshigandaoxiuchiyoudiulian。

jiuzheizhongpixiangherenpintajuranhaidangchengguobao?jianzhishixialeyan!

haibudengshengziluoshuohua,yesijinjiujiezhekailekou,“jiranwoheshengdashaodouhuxiangxianqikanbushang,neizheihunyuejiuzhijiezuofeileba,wanghouzanmennanhunnvjiagebuxianggan,yemiandeshengdashaohewomeimeijianmiankaifangdoudeduozheren。”

tazheijushishirandehuawuyishirutongjingleibanluozailejiudianyanhuidedatingnei,lingdezaichangsuoyourenyizhenhuaranzhenjing!

yesichugengshibeiqidechadiandangchanghunguoqu,tademingshengjiuzheimebeiyesijinjihuile!jianzhijiushiyaobisita!

yanhuidatingneisuoyourendemuguangrutongdaozibanguazaitadeshenshang,lingdeyesichuhunshendoubuzizai。

tayadilesheng,yuqiqirandedao:“dajie,jiusuannizaitaoyanwo,niyebunengzheiyanghuilewoheshengdashaodemingshenga?”

yesijinshangbeizizuitaoyandejiushiyesichuzheifushouhairendeyuqi,tasixiaofeixiaodedingzheyesichudao:“shime?youbenshituilehunzhihounimenlianggejiubuyaodinghun,zuihaozheibeizidoubuyaoyouqianche,zenmeyang?”

zheihuadudeyesichuyakouwuyan,tajinjindezuanzhequantou,zhijiajihudoukuaiyaoxianrurouli。

budinghun?kaishenmewanxiao!

tafeijinxinjicaidashangshengziluoweidejiushijiajinshengjia,xianzaiwanshijubeizenmekenengjiuzheimefangqile?!

“yesijin,nibiexuekoupenren!dangchushinisihuofeiyaojiajiwo,woconglaidoumeikanzhongguoni!woqusheigenniyoushenmeguanxi!”shengziluoqidemiansezhanghong,tayaozheyanudao:“xiangnizheizhongyoupangyouchoudenvren!chufeishixialeyandecainengkanshangni!”

yesijintingzhetazheihuashenshendexilekouliangqi,xingkuia……

xingkuitatizaozhongshenglehuilaicainiuzhuanlejumian,meiyourangshengziluokaikoutituihun。

jibianxianzaidouzaichaofengtatuihunzibuliangli,danyenenglashangshengziluoyiqidiuren!huodouhuoleyici,tajuebuhuizairangzijishoubanfenweiqu!

“neishengdashaodeyisishicongqianxialeyan?”yesijinsuishuopang,kezheiwuguanmoyangshengdequebucha,tabiyidelengxiaolesheng,“ze,shengdashaodepinweiguoranbuyiyang,yuanlaikanshangweihunqidemeimeijiubusuanxialeyanle。”

yesijinxiaolianshabai,“dajie,wo……”

yesijinlenglengdedaduantadehua,“nizaiduoshuoyijuhua,wokenengjiudedangzhongzhangnidezui,yaobuyaoshishi?”

“nibietaiguofenle!”shengziluoyanedeyaojinya,“wokannihaishishaozizuoduoqing,jiunizhangdezheifumoyangwanshenmeshouduanwodoukanbushangniyouchouyoupang,woyaoshinijiubuhuichulaidiurenxianyan!”

zhishitazheihuacailiaoxia,yesijinjiutaishoushijinglidaoshuailetayierguang!

“pa——!”zheibazhangdadeshiyouxiangyouliang!rangshengziluodoulaibujifanyingguolai,zaichangkanrenaoderenqungengshiyizhenjinghu!

shengziluobeidadeshiyuntouzhuanxiang,nanyizhixindewuzhebeichouzhongdezuolian,**ladetengtongganrangtahaobantiandoumeihuanguolai,“yesijin,nihaigandawo?!”

“zenmezhe?danihaidexianwenniyisheng?”yesijinshuaileshuaisuanmadeyoushou,takezhenshishizujingqudadezheiyibazhang,xintoudeeqidouxiaolebushao,liuxiadedoushiwubidechangkuai!

shengziluonumuyuandeng,“nizaigandawoshishi?!”

“pa——!”youshihenhendeyibazhang!zhibuguozheihuiyesijinhuanlezhishouqulunzheibazhang,haiyinweibuxiguanermeishizujing,rangtashaoshaoyouneimeyisiyihan。

shengziluobeijinule,etoushangqingjinbaoqi,“yesijin!woshaleni!”

zhishitazheishengnuheyebazaichangderendoujijingdehuiguoleshen,lishijiuyourenhuangmangshangqianlanzhe!

zheiyejiadaxiaojieheshengjiadashaoyedaqilaineikebuhaokan,shuobuzhunmingtiandetoutiaobaguajiudeshizheijianshile!

“zenme?ganggangkeshinijiaowodade。”yesijinzhengdaleyanzhuangsiwugubandekanzheta,zhishiyanshenlidechaofenglingdeshengziluohendedouyaozhualekuang!

yehenhendizhenzhuleyesichu,lingdetadaizhanzaiyuandiyagenbuganduoyan。

yesijinzheishifenglema?!

dangzhongtuileshengjiadehunyejiusuanle,xianzaijuranhaidaleshengjiadedashaoye,jianzhijiushihuonile!

“yesijin,nitingqingchule!jiusuanshiquantianxiadenvrendousiguangle,laozidoubuhuikanshangni!jintianzheihunyuezuoba,wanghounixiangdoubuyaoxiangnengpanshangwo!”shengziluonuhoudao:“jiunizheizhongbizhuhaichoudenvren,chufeishinajianandexialeyancaihuiyuanyiquni!”

zheihuajihushirangyanhuitingneisuoyouderendoutinglegeqingchu,daliangdeyanshendaizhejifengheshaoxulianminzaiyesijindeshenshangtingliusaoshi,qizhongxingzailehuodechengfenzhanzhedaduoshu。

yesichuyanxiameijiandexise,tasaolezaichangrenmianshangdebiaoqinghou,guzuodanyoudekaikoudao:“dajie,nixiangqingchu,zheishizhenbushinaozhewande,zhenyaotuilehunniyihoukezenmeban?”

zheibenjiushiyijumeiyoubaohanduoshaozhenxindeketaohua,yesijinqingchutapashibabudezijijiabuchuqu。

ketaningyuanjiabuchuquyebuhuizaigenzheizhongxuqingjiayiderenyoubandianqianche,shengziluoshishenmeyangderentabisheidouyaoqingchu,qingchudaorangtazuooudedibu!

yanhuidatingneiciqibifudetaolunshengdididexiangqi,quebingbunanruzaichangsanrendeerzhong。

“tafengleba?haizhenbazheihunjituile?tazhangzheimepangsheiganqutaa?”

“shengjiazheihuntuiletayihouhainengjiasheia?benlaijiushigaopanrenjiashengdashaole,haizhenyiweizijinengjiadebishengjiahaihaome?”

“wokanyesijinshijiabuchuqule,youchouyoupangdesheiyuanyiquta?jiwoqianrangworuzhuiwodoubuken。”

“jiejiezhangzheimechouneikendingshixuanmeimeia,fanzhengyaoshiwo,woyebuhuiquta。”

……

neixiebaohanzheeyidechaoxiaoshengweiraozaiyesijindezhoushen,lingdetahuanhuanzuanjinleshouzhang。

guoranjiusuanshitazhonghuolezheibeizi,jiusuanshitaxiankaikoutuilehun,haishihuiyouzheixierangrenyanedeyanlunchuxian。

“woqu。”lenglengqingqingdelianggeziqueshiyouzheshipotianjingbandeweili,lingdeyanhuisuoyourenyoubeihenhendizhenlexia!

yesijinchadianjiaoxiayihuashuaizailedishang,zenmezheinanrenzheishihoujuranyelailezheiciyanhui?zheishiyaotademingma?!

yuanbennuqichongtiandeshengziluodunshijiurutongxieleqidepiqiuban,chuixialianyanlekoutuomo,duoduosuosuodedao:“xiao……xiaoshu……”